There have been 2,281 spoof news stories published in 2021. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to browse the spoof news archives.
#DeleteFacebook! Facebook Group Deleted
A Facebook Group created calling for a boycott of Facebook after it took the extraordinary step of banning users in Australia from accessing news in a row over paying for content, has been deleted, by Facebook. 'Delete Facebook', 'Boycott Zuckerbe…
Read full storyMan Defers Wank For Another Time
A Fort Lauderdale man postponed a highly anticipated wank after realizing that he ran the risk of getting caught in the act by either his wife, his daughter or the guy who 'does the garden'. The man, whose identity cannot be revealed, had planned…
Read full storyCitizen Donald Trump Is Selling All of His McDonalds Restaurants
MAR-A-LAGO, Florida - (Satire News) – The ex-resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington, D.C., spoke with GOPicky Magazine. He was asked how he felt now, being a plain, simple, ordinary citizen. The former president made a face, and rep…
Read full storyPfizer denies Covid-19 vaccine has Viagra content!
After several reports of weird 'side effects' being noted by doctors observing lucky first vaccinated patients, they decided to contact the producers, pharmaceutical giants Pfizer, to ask why ageing males have suddenly been fondling young female nurs…
Read full storyMy Pillow To Go Bankrupt Because of It’s Asshole CEO Michael Lindell
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – The Chicago Daily Wind has just announced that Michael Lindell, CEO of the My Pillow Corporation, and man who would marry Donald Trump in a nano-second, is standing in deep dodo, as they say down in Arkansas. Lindell, who…
Read full storySperm Bank Triples Its Business with Its New Mobile In-Home Sperm Collection Program
BEVERLY HILLS – (Business Satire) – The Come As You Are Sperm Bank of Beverly Hills proudly announces that it’s business has increased by a little over 300%. Sperm bank director, Olivia Tiburon, told Pico de Gallo, with Tittle Tattle Tonight, that…
Read full storyCoronavirus On Recovery: "Over My Dead Body!"
As the world slowly but surely tries to get its act together with the roll-out of various COVID-19 vaccine programs, and governments start planning for economic recovery and a return to normal life, the Coronavirus itself has reacted to these effort…
Read full storyNancy Pelosi Discovered Masturbating In Capitol Building Horror
A male intern administrative assistant working in the Capitol Building in Washington DC has walked in on his boss, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, masturbating in her office, according to unverified rumors circulating online. Marvin Shawshank says hi…
Read full storyMelania Trump Tells Sean Hannity She’s Filing For Divorce
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The nation’s First Lady called in to the "Sean Hannity Show," and informed him that she has finally decided to file for divorce from Donald Johnny Trump. Mrs. Trump told the Fox News host that she has had it wit…
Read full storyArrest Warrant Issued For Donald J. Trump For Inciting A Riot
The DC police department issued an arrest warrant for Donald J. Trump for inciting a riot. Bellyaching since he lost the presidential election on November 3, 2020, Trump called for the Proud Boys and every other unemployed supporter to march to t…
Read full storyMexico To Open The Donald Trump Presidential Library and Diet Taco Stand
TIJUANA, Mexico – (Satire News) – Mexico’s El Ole News Agency has just disclosed that The Donald Trump Presidential Library and Taco Stand will open on March 20, 2021, which is Barron Trump’s birthday. Mexico’s Secretary of Wall Maintenance, Woody…
Read full storyEnron Shares Climb on Reddit Activity
NEW YORK - Enron (ENRN) is the hottest stock right now, with a massive “army” of internet-driven retail investors taking advantage of an incredibly rare scenario that’s driving up the stock price. ENRN closed at $65 on Friday, after reaching a high o…
Read full storyThe Seafood Industry Is In a Panic as Lobsters Have Stopped Mating
BOSTON – (Business Satire) – The New England Seafood Industry is panicking due to the fact that, for some unknown reason, Atlantic coast lobsters have all stopped mating. Hans Figgarello, a noted lobster expert, stated that he believes the reason…
Read full storyMars landing is a massive marketing hoax claim inhabitants of other planets in our solar system!
(NOT EDITED) Aliens inhabiting planets in our solar system are up-in-arms (We don't quite know how many arms aliens have) because they believe the Mars landing was a fake, massive publicity stunt, sponsored by a transvestite Bounty-Hunter smelling of…
Read full storyFirst non-binary computer introduced
It is the largest milestone in computing since the invention of the internet-enabled fridge. This week, computer manufacturer BigHard has developed the world's first non-binary computer. The computer is called Bernard, but prefers to use the prono…
Read full storyLiverpool Boss Jürgen Klopp Has Lost The Dressing Room
Fans of the Premier League champions, Liverpool, were in disarray this morning after seeing their team slide further down the table following an Anfield defeat by lowly Burnley, but they may not be in as much disarray as their German coach, Jürgen Kl…
Read full storyA 397-Year-Old Galapagos Turtle Has Escaped From The Bronx Zoo
BRONX, New York – (Satire News) – The director of the Bronx Zoo has just informed the news media that a 402-pound Galapagos turtle named Nostradamus II has just escaped from his holding cage. Nosty, who is 397-years-old, reportedly escaped once be…
Read full storyJapan Has Developed The World’s Most Amazing Camera
TOKYO – (Business Satire) – The Japanese camera company, Tora Tora Tora, has just informed the news media of their brand new state-of-the-art camera. Toki Shimiyoki, CEO of Tora Tora Tora, said that the XX-Y13 Bonsai Baby will revolutionize the ca…
Read full storyWhere the Wild Things Were (or, Ted Cruz’s Attempted Coup)
(With apologies to Maurice Sendak) The year Ted went to Congress and made mischief of one kind and another, Ben Sasse called him "CHILD THING!" and Ted said "I’LL OVERTURN A DEMOCRATIC AND FAIR ELECTION!” So he stomped off to the Senate chamber to…
Read full storyQAnon's Marjorie Taylor Greene is Hated as Much as Ann Coulter, Donald Trump, and Mustafa Haliboo Combined
DICKWEED, Mississippi – (Satire News) – Marjorie Taylor Greene self-proclaimed darling of the QAnon movement and human tampon, has just become even more hated than Ann Coulter, Donald Trump, and Al Qaeda leader Mustafa Haliboo. The sewer water blo…
Read full storyElon Musk’s New Planetary Telescope is The Most Powerful in The World
HOUSTON, Texas – (Satire News) – The richest man in the world, Elon Musk has just developed the amazing Musk Busybody Planetary Telescope, which he has nicknamed "Ringo". The entrepreneur, who is the father of the Tesla, the SpaceX Starship, and…
Read full storyPeople Are Going Crazy Over Mickey D's New Food Item
CHICAGO – (Business Satire) – The McDonalds Corporation has always prided itself in striving to be the first fast food franchise to introduce a new menu item during the early part of each new year. And this year is no different. Mickey D's marketi…
Read full storyDelaware’s Naked Bingo Night is a Huge Success
DELAWARE PUNCH, Delaware – (Entertainment Satire) – The state of Delaware has just revealed that its brand new Naked Bingo Night has proved to be a tremendous success. State Attorney General Kathy Jennings informed the news media that when the ide…
Read full storyUK Government To Introduce New Coronavirus Restriction - Tier 5: Stay In Bed
The beleaguered UK government, already under severe pressure and in a tailspin over the increase in the number of positive cases of COVID-19, are set to introduce a further level of restriction, in an effort to get the virus under control. Having…
Read full storyThe Disney Channel To Start Airing Commercials For R-Rated Adult-Themed Websites
ANAHEIM, California – (Satire News) – The board of directors of The Disney Channel have informed the public that, due to their extreme financial loses, which they totally blame on President Trump, aka the Anarchist-in-Chief, they are having to make s…
Read full story'Data Usage Warning' Received
There was consternation earlier today, when, quite without warning, and totally unexpectedly, a man who was using his phone to browse the internet received a notification that amounted to a: 'Data Usage Warning' Recovering from the initial shoc…
Read full storyAndrew Lloyd Webber's 'Coronavirus: The Musical' Set To Wow Audiences
The darling of both London's West End and New York's Broadway, veteran composer and music impressario Andrew Lloyd Webber just can't let it go, and is at it again as he launches his latest theatrical extravaganza, 'Coronavirus: The Musical'. Baron…
Read full storyEnglish lobsters demand new Brexit referendum!
(NOT EDITED) English lobsters caught in EU waters are now being returned to the UK and, instead of being directly boiled alive in French or German cooking pots, are now rotting in chilled trailers stuck in traffic jams waiting for customs clearance!…
Read full storyTrump's note to Biden at The Oval Office (now framed and under glass) leaked to the press
World leaders and social media are expressing outrage that Mr. Trump's farewell note to Mr. Biden has been exposed. Mr. Biden described the note as “a very generous letter.” Meanwhile, Mr. Bin Salman and Mr. Netanyahu have led a chorus of angr…
Read full storyVaccine Found For Virus Not Yet Discovered
A scientist working in complete isolation has announced today, that he has developed a lifesaving vaccine for a highly-infectious deadly virus that is, as yet, unknown. Professor Brian von Smith, who isn't really a professor, and who inserted 'von…
Read full storyMan Says He Might Try Sniffing Glue
The Coronavirus has changed many things about modern life, and it's also radically changed the way some of us think. A case in point is one man who has worried about COVID-19 and its frightening implications so much and so often, that he has arri…
Read full storyMoney-Hungry Donald Trump Selling Pardons For $1 Million
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire New) – Financial experts are saying that President Trump left nothing unturned when it came to lying; and that goes triple for his finances. A source close to Trump’s personal accountant, Aydin F. Periwinkle, stated that…
Read full storyThe Taliban, Al Qaeda, and Hezbollah Say They Had No Idea It Was So Damn Easy To Invade The USA
CAMEL SHIT, Afghanistan – (World News) – Al Qaeda Assistant Leader Mustafa Habiboo reportedly texted Taliban and Hezbollah leaders stating that, as he was watching Anderson Cooper on CNN, he had no freaking idea that it was so damn easy to invade the…
Read full storyTrees Not Quite So Green This Year
It may be global warming, climate change, or environmental change, it could be any two of these, or even all three of them, but something is happening out in the sticks, claims one man who says that, in his neck of the woods, at least, the trees aren…
Read full storyTrump Switches From Twitter to PornHub Comments Section
WASHINGTON- The followers of President Donald J. Trump are still recovering from a shock caused by the news of an unjustified and brutal Twitter ban. If only they knew that the President and what’s left of his staff have been working on creative and…
Read full storyGinger Knobs are more hyper-active than their stiffer Mousey counterparts!
(NOT EDITED) Swedish scientists have proven one thing about Ginger Knobs, they are mostly red-headed Nutters who love dunking in hot and steamy Ginger biscuits. It seems a double dose of carotin given at birth, or inherited from mum or dad, adds m…
Read full storyGameStop Shares Went From $3, Up To $991, and Are Now Down to 14 Cents
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – GameStop has proved the old adage that what goes up must come down. And Wall Street is thrilled that some kind of numerical civility will soon begin to filter back to the stock market jungle. According to RumorLand…
Read full storyExpert Says 2021 Could Be Worse Than 2020
Just four short days into the new year, and a man who reckons he is a bit of an expert on such matters has said that it's entirely possible, by no great stretch of the imagination, that 2021 could eventually, by far, outstrip 2020 in its shitness.
Read full storyThe South Carolina Women’s Basketball Team Wants The Name Non-Cocks Dropped
COLUMBIA, South Carolina – (Sports Satire) – Sports Balls Illustrated has stated that 74% of the South Carolina University Game Cocks student body wants the name of the girl’s athletic teams changed. University President Robert Caslen was presente…
Read full storyMan Smells Hideous Stench Of Unwashed Feet
A teacher has revealed how, when he walked into a classroom to teach his students this morning, he quickly felt he was under attack from a rather peculiar source - a pair of rancid sweating feet. Moys Kenwood, 57, entered the room in jovial fashio…
Read full storyGerman balding farm cat gets 'Elton John Look' but not in a 'Gay Way!'
Normally cats moult in the spring, however, one particular farm cat decided to do things differently. A quite unusual cat called, Anton, who resides on a farm in the Eifel region in Germany, has been spotted dumping his winter fur in winter! Deep…
Read full storyGerman truck load of pigs gets stuck in the mud!
Truck driving in rural areas during winter can sometimes be precarious especially when a farm sits on top of a muddy hill, and trucks loaded with live pigs need to reach the farm. One incident, which caused quite a stir (not fry), happened in a ti…
Read full story"Sons of Confederates" Demand Baseball "Yankees" Change Their Name
Richmond, VA. An SOS from Wood Blister in an exclusive to Spoof On Sports. In response to efforts by liberal Northerners to remove Confederate statues, names of Confederates from military bases, and the banning of the song "Dixie" at athletic ev…
Read full storyDonald Trump Wanted A Big Send-Off On Wednesday
Donald Trump would like a big sendoff when he leaves the White House for the last time on Wednesday, January 20. Unfortunately, Putin can’t make it. Kim Jong-un is busy, and the Queen of England is occupied with her horses. So, he’ll have to settle f…
Read full storyHistory For Children: #1 Donald Trump
Once upon a time, there was a very bad man. In fact, he was more than a very bad man, he was a very, very, VERY, VERY VERY bad man, and one that had to be watched. His name was Donald Trump. Donald had lots and lots of money. He had SO much money,…
Read full storyShakespeare Finally Gets A Mobile
Residents of the town of Scratch Ankle, West Virginia are celebrating today, as one of their own decided to finally get a mobile phone, after many years of vowing never to. Ninety-two-year-old great grandfather Archie Shakespeare was proudly show…
Read full storyMan Marries His Gorgeously Sexy Blonde Blue-Eyed Robot Doll Girlfriend
FUKAHAMA, Japan – (Satire News) – Japan’s Saki News Agency is reporting that a 47-year-old sushi restaurant manager has married his extremely pretty robot doll girlfriend. Sagamiro Takashaki told Saki that he and his girlfriend, Melissa, a stunni…
Read full storyAgonising back pain causes infamous Spoofer to chew on a tree trunk!
(NOT EDITED) Morphine tablets, Ibuprofen, and other pain-killers, could not relieve an infamous Spoofer from his back-pain-agony whilst lying in bed spoofing his heart out attempting to make people laugh! His wife, bless her heart, did everything…
Read full storyLittle Girl's Headache Was Down To Tension
A young girl with a splitting headache whose sorrowful image has been flashed across the front pages of most of the newspapers across the world, has said that it was, in fact, a terrible migraine she'd had for two days after a stressful day at school…
Read full storyMystery Of 'Sleepy' Joe Biden Solved
The long-term mystery of why US President-elect Joe Biden has earned the nickname of 'Sleepy Joe' has been solved by a man who thinks about this kind of thing far too much, it's been reported. Biden, who takes over the leadership of the country to…
Read full storyChinese OAP, Wan Pong Poo, breaks Guinness Book of Records record sitting on the bog!
(NOT EDITED) In the remote Chinese province, Xinjiang, suddenly global interest in one inhabitant has gone viral after reports he was determined to bring fame to his desolate mountain village! Wan Pong Poo, 85-year-old senior citizen, locked hims…
Read full storySushi-Shaped Space Ship Lands on Malibu Beach
MALIBU BEACH, California – (Satire News) – Several residents of Malibu Beach called up the Malibu Beach sheriff’s department and reported a UFO in the left coast sky. A reporter with Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres said she interviewed a couple, Toby and…
Read full storyTeacher Taught Lesson Wearing Only His Underpants
A teacher who was unavoidably late for his lesson was ultimately forced to 'cut some corners' this morning whilst getting dressed, and ended up by having to teach his students whilst wearing only his underpants. The teacher cannot be named for 'le…
Read full storyMelania Trump Resigns
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – iRumors is reporting that the first lady, Melania Trump, has resigned her position as the executive director of the Be Best Organization and can hardly wait to get her ass out of the White House, which she has desc…
Read full story101 Symptoms That May Mean You've Already Had The Coronavirus
The Coronavirus, COVID-19, is still far from being conquered, despite a worldwide roll-out of vaccination programs, but, with many people reporting relatively mild symptoms, it's difficult to know, conclusively, whether we are suffering from COVID-19…
Read full storyKlexit: Jurgen Klopp On His Way Out Of Liverpool
They may have won the Premier League title for the first time in 30 years last season, and are currently sitting at the top of the table this time round, but Liverpool Football Club are in a poor run of form. The Reds have claimed just 2 points ou…
Read full storyCPSC Issues Advisory that Materials Used in MyPillow May Cause Delusions of Political Conspiracies
Washington DC - The Consumer Product Safety Commission issued a statement on Friday, that it is looking into data that seems to indicate that prolonged exposure to MyPillow might cause those connected with its manufacture to have hallucinations and d…
Read full storyPresident Putin Invites President Trump To Move To Russia
MOSCOW – (World Satire) – The Kremlin Voice is reporting that President Putin called up President Trump, and expressed how sad he was that he got his ass kicked by President-to-be-Joe Biden. Vladimir expressed that he has no idea how it feels to l…
Read full storyMan Could Smell Steak And Kidney Pie
A man has revealed how, when he was walking through the streets minding his own business, he suddenly became aware of the most wonderful smell of steak and kidney pudding pervading the atmosphere around him. Moys Kenwood, 57, claims he was quietly…
Read full storyA Woman in New Jersey, Born With 2 Vaginas Offers to Sell One
HACKENSACK, New Jersey – (Satire News) – iRumors disclosed that a woman, who is employed as a Burger Bandit drive-thru window order-taker, has divulged that she was born with two vaginas. Cleo Yorkowitz, 27, told iRumor's Ling-Chow Rangoon that sh…
Read full storyThe List of 10 Unknown Facts About The Rolling Stones
NEW YORK CITY – (Music Satire) – The Rolling Stones are one of the most successful rock bands of all time. Mick Jagger and the guys have been together since 1962, an amazing 58 years! The boys from London, who are now the great-grandfathers from m…
Read full storyQAnon Shaman Attacked By Buffalo
Capitol building rioter Jake Angeli, better known as the Q Shaman, or the twat in the hat, has been attacked by a buffalo as he made his escape from police yesterday. The 33-year-old, who suffers from small penis syndrome, was seen bare-chested, w…
Read full storySnoring in hospital beds is to be forbidden!
(NOT EDITED) Anti-snoring groups are protesting outside German hospitals in an attempt to make it a crime to snore during time spent in wards. "Snoring is a crime and should be forbidden!" Sensitive ex-patients have been observed screaming, "Snor…
Read full storyMissing Brexit Voting Slips Found
There was a major talking point brewing this evening, after refuse collectors in London found an undisclosed number of EU referendum voting slips dumped in fourteen black plastic dustbin liners outside the home of former prime minister, Theresa May.
Read full storyPence Pardons The Debate Fly That Landed On His Head
Washington, D.C.- Vice President, Mike Pence, doesn't get the broad powers to pardon prison sentences for his sordid array of scumbag pals. Hell, he doesn't even get to pardon the damn turkey. But on his last day in office, Pence did take the time…
Read full storyThe Entire NFL, NBA, and MLB Players Demand That President Trump Resign Immediately
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – Sports Balls Illustrated and the Sports Bet Gazette are both reporting that, due to treasonous President Trump inciting his beloved band of low-life insurgents to attack the Capitol Building, every single player, coa…
Read full storyVirus Hit Aston Villa Announce Shock Replacement Squad
As Covid-19 runs rampant throughout the UK, premiership football team Aston Villa have been hit full on, as their entire senior squad is completely out of action due to the virus. Even manager, Dean Smith, will be absent from the FA Cup clash with…
Read full storyWill Donald Trump Pardon The Terrorists Who Stormed The Capital?
Will Donald Trump pardon the hundreds of domestic terrorists who stormed the Capital on January 6? A pardon for the terrorists who perpetrated the attack, breaking windows, doors, furniture, vandalizing files, stealing laptops, personal mementos,…
Read full storyMan Relieved Headache By Extraordinary Means
A man who likes to reminisce has recounted a tale of an occasion when he was working at a global telecommunications company, when he relieved a massive headache he was experiencing in an extraordinary - and barely believable - way. Moys Kenwood, 5…
Read full storyTrump angrily denies that he appointed “clownish” lawyers to challenge the election result, insisting that Bobo, Dingdong and Rudy are “top notch attorneys”
President Trump’s former attorney general sensationally claimed that his former boss appointed clowns to conduct his court challenges of the election result. The President has now responded to these allegations. He denied that it was inappropriate…
Read full storyLiverpool: The Wheels Are Well-And-Truly Off!
After last year's success, when Liverpool Football Club won their first top flight title in three decades, few people would have bet against Jurgen Klopp's men repeating the feat this time around, but after a humiliating 1-0 defeat against Burnley at…
Read full storyThe World’s Two Richest Men, Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos, Both Want PornHub So Bad They Can Taste It
DETROIT – (Satire News) – PornHub, the lasciviously pornographic video-sharing website, has just confirmed that the world’s two riches billionaires, Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos, want to purchase the extremely profitable site. PornHub owners Zetta an…
Read full storyElon Musk is Building The World’s Most Amazing Floating Asteroid Belt Station
HOUSTON – (Satire News) – Reports coming out of Houston state that the richest man in the world, Elon Musk, is in the process of building what will be a truly astonishing Floating Asteroid Belt Station. The station named Vesuvius, after his pet sa…
Read full storyThe Beat To Re-Release Hit Single 'Tiers Of A Clown'
As the UK braces itself against the double-pronged attack of a bleak mid-winter coupled with the deadly Coronavirus, and Prime Minister Boris Johnson introduces more instruments of control in the form of 'Tier levels', Birmingham music collective The…
Read full story“And Then They Stole The Election,” Trump Tells Giggling Children While Visiting Local Kindergarten
Balancing between playing golf and tweeting sounds like a difficult task. Still, Donald Trump keeps finding new ways of letting everyone know that Satan-worshiping communists stole the election. "I was skeptical when the President suggested visiti…
Read full storyRussian Political Scientist Kept Saying "Mmng-geh"
A Russian political scientist invited onto a news programme to give his views on the arrest and subsequent incarceration of Russian opposition leader Alexei Navalny, raised eyebrows amongst the viewing public after he peppered his statements with a s…
Read full storyNancy Pelosi Says That One of Trump’s SOB Anarchists Stole Her Birth Control Pills
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The iNews Agency is reporting that Nancy Pelosi is fit to be tied, as she stated that the asshole, redneck, piece-of-shit Anarchist, who broke into her Capitol building office stole her bottle of birth control pills…
Read full storyMan Urinates On Other Man's Trousers
Not content with making the common public urinal mistake of urinating all over a neighboring user's shoes, one man went a step further at the weekend when, hurriedly unzipping his fly to relieve his bladder, he 'lost control' of the situation, and so…
Read full storyDutch man loses a 'screw' during hot sex!
(NOT EDITED) There are times when people can easily 'lose a screw'. Sometimes, especially in this lockdown period, peoples 'screws' tend to be slightly looser. Others can keep their 'screws' tight, but it depends on how people's 'nuts and bolts' are…
Read full storyTom Brady of The Tampa Bay Buccaneers Shows He’s 43, Going on 23, as He's Headed For The Super Bowl
GREEN BAY – (Sports Satires) – In the battle of the two future Hall of Fame quarterbacks, Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers, the man with the same initials as the city he plays for came out on top. The Bucs beat the Pack 31 to 26. Dottie Bazooka with Sp…
Read full storyGiggle-End’s Island: Starring Sleepy Joe Biden And Kamala “Giggles” Harris
BILLINGSGATE POST: Now that Sleepy Joe Biden and Kamala “Giggles” Harris have landed on Giggle-End’s Island (Washington), it’s not too farfetched to note the comparison of Sleepy Joe as Gilligan (Bob Denver) and Kamala as Ginger Grant played by sexp…
Read full storyManchester United Captain Harry Maguire Says He Wishes He Had A Tenner For Every Spoof Written About Him
The Manchester United and England defender, Harry Maguire, has spoken out about the considerable, and growing, number of fake news stories written about him, and remarked that he wished he had a ten-pound note for every one of them, for then, he woul…
Read full storyBrexit bus should have said, "We send the EU £350m a week. Let's spend it on pointless bureaucracy instead"
Britain - but not Northern Ireland - left the EU at the end of 2020, and importing and exporting has not been the same since. Geoff Turnip is an importer/exporter from Bishop's Prepuce who exports beef, and imports strudel. "Bringing in the strude…
Read full storyLiverpool Goalkeeper In Alleged Betting Scandal
As the winners of last year's Premier League title, Liverpool were strongly backed to repeat that feat this year, and, after beating Crystal Palace 7-0 on 19 December, not many people would have bet against them. But one man did. Alisson is his…
Read full storyThe World’s First Transgender Sumo Wrestler Gets Her Ass Kicked
KAGOSHIMA, Japan – (Sports Satire) – The Saki-Saki News Agency has stated that the world’s first transgender wrestler, Yamaha Wasabi, 37, has lost for the first time in her 12-month career. Wasabi, who weighs a whopping 521 pounds, was clobbered b…
Read full storyHouston Astros Superstar George Springer is Headed To Canada
HOUSTON – (Sports Satire) – In a move that's shocked baseball fans throughout the nation, Houston Astros fan-favorite George Springer will be leaving Texas and moving up to Toronto. The All-star, free-agent, outfielder and spokesman for Lone Star…
Read full storyMan's Cultural Experiences Make His Blood Boil
A man who says he is suffering from stress, boredom, depression, frustration, isolation, gross mental strain and a mild psychopathic nature has admitted that, from time to time, he gets a bit angry. And, often, he becomes extremely irritable. M…
Read full storyFollowing Airline Tragedy, Red Bull Will No Longer Give You Wings
The National Transportation Safety Board reached the conclusion of their investigation of flight 267 today, reporting that the aircraft’s left engine had suffered a catastrophic failure after a 6’2, 34-year-old man with wings crossed the plane’s flig…
Read full storyMorphine tablets cause erection instability!
(NOT EDITED) Slipped discs, plus other agonising ailments, are often treated by doctors prescribing painkillers. However, their side effects, albeit painless, can cause other strange reactions to the male body scientists have discovered! Females s…
Read full storyA Man Is Pissed Off Because His Brand New 2021 Calendar is Missing the Month of September
BRUSSEL SPROUT, Belgium – (World Satire) - Belgium's national news agency, Sproutalooza, has reported that a badger herder, Leuven Mons, became very upset after returning home from the store with a brand new 2021 calendar. Leuven’s wife, Amalasand…
Read full storyAaron Rodgers and Danica Patrick Are Getting Back Together
GREEN BAY – (Sports Satire) – The word on the streets and the cheese shops of Green Bay is that Packers quarterback and his ex-NASCAR girlfriend Danica Patrick are getting back together. The two dated last year and even had a reality show called A…
Read full storyMan Finds Money In Street
There were scenes of joy and jubilation in one city street earlier today, when a man out for a lunchtime saunter with his friend from work found some money in the street. Ambling along, chatting to his pal about nothing in particular, Moys Kenwood…
Read full storyMan Squashed Bottle Top For No Apparent Reason
A pedestrian who was walking along a public footpath has said he isn't really certain why he did it, but claims to have trodden on a bottle top he saw, squashing it almost flat. The incident occurred at around 7:45 am this morning, as schoolteache…
Read full storyThe Revenge of the Elderly
In late 2021, as the COVID crisis dies down, a new viral variant develops which is not affected by the vaccine. Statistics soon show it to be incredibly deadly for young people, but so much less so for the elderly that it’s not a danger to them at al…
Read full storyDrunk Mountain Biker falls off his bike and lands a Red Bull contract!
Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Bavaria, Germany: After celebrating New Year's Eve at a swinging party in Bavaria, a mountain-biker, totally 'smashed', jumped on his bike hoping the German 'Old Bill' were too busy snuffing out illegal parties organised by yo…
Read full story85% of Americans can't name who the President was yesterday
It is 2 hours after Joe Biden's inauguration as US President and a shocking survey has shown that the vast majority - over 80% - of Americans can't remember who was President this morning. Methew Jefferson, 45, is an unemployed fast food restaura…
Read full storyChina Wants To Buy NASA
HONG KONG – (World News) – China’s Abacus News Agency has made it known that the leader of China, Xi Jinping, wants to purchase the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. The Chinese leader stated that he has been wanting to buy the covete…
Read full storyTales From Beaver Crossing: Smuckmeister And The Duck
BILLINGSGATE POST: There’s nothing like a good duck story to start the New Year. And nobody tells a duck story better than Elmer Smuckmeister, the most famous resident of Beaver Crossing, Nebraska. He swears it happened. It was duck season in Neb…
Read full storySuicidal Liverpool FC fans break lockdown and jump in the Mersey!
(NOT EDITED) One hit wonders, Liverpool FC, are wondering why they are not 'top dogs' anymore while both Manchester clubs are 'rinsing' them this season after their first Premier League success since the Amoeba exited water! Their German manager,…
Read full storyNancy Pelosi Denies She Defecated Into Bucket Then Poured Diarrhea Over Head Of Homeless Veteran - But CCTV Tells Different Story
A Homeless Gulf War Veteran's life was forever changed when a woman, who many believe was House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, though she is denying the allegations, dumped a teeming bucket of runny feces over his head outside a DC restaurant on Friday night…
Read full storyThe Kardashian Sisters Have Hit The Jackpot With Their Brand New Butt Crack Leggings
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – The Kardashian sisters have been pegged as the girls with the Midas touch. Even the world’s richest man, Elon Musk, has said that anything they touch turns to 14-carat gold. He added that he would love to invest $5 mill…
Read full story