Funny story: Immature And Extremely Sadistic Author Trapped Inside His Own Short Story Still Screaming To Get Out

Immature And Extremely Sadistic Author Trapped Inside His Own Short Story Still Screaming To Get Out

Sources recently confirmed that 43-year-old Jared Wall (an extremely immature and sadistic asshole who thoroughly enjoys writing pointlessly cruel short stories in which helpless characters suffer tremendously before they die) has been missing since...

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Funny story: Hands Off The Threads, Creep

Hands Off The Threads, Creep

BILLINGSGATE POST: It was right out of Guys and Dolls. Nathan Detroit was Frank Sinatra, and Frank Sinatra was Nathan Detroit. This was in 1955, when girls were broads because they didn’t know no different. They smoked cigarettes, wore pink dresses...

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Funny story: It’s a Sad Sad Sad Sad World: A Review

It’s a Sad Sad Sad Sad World: A Review

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was sad. If anyone wanted to know why, she explained that impeaching the president was a sad but necessary thing to do. To reinforce the idea that she was sad, the Speaker of the House had donned a funereal, black mid-calf...

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Funny story: Aren't there enough weirdos in politics as it is?

Aren't there enough weirdos in politics as it is?

In the latest of a seemingly more regular slot, 78-and-a-half-year-old man, Ray Ving, gives us his opinion on the important matters of the day. 'I was reading, as you do, the front page of The Times today. I didn't buy it, but I read it, which is...

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Funny story: Buckwalter “Bucky” Beaver Passes Away In Beaver Crossing

Buckwalter “Bucky” Beaver Passes Away In Beaver Crossing

BILLINGSGATE POST: The Mayor of Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, Buckwalter “Bucky” Beaver III passed away at the age of 91 on January 1, 2020. He left three sons to share his estate; BuckaRoo, BuckaRay and BuckaRee. All shared the same nickname, “Bucky...

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Funny story: Ten Predictions Absolutely Certain to be True in the Next Decade

Ten Predictions Absolutely Certain to be True in the Next Decade

1. Baby Boomers, Gen Xers and Millennials will all age at least ten years, although everyone will be able to deny it, as the socialist administrations of Presidents Sanders and Ocasio-Cortez, will offer free botox to anyone who needs it. And they wil...

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Funny story: Karmatic Alternatives To Impeachment For You-Know-Who.

Karmatic Alternatives To Impeachment For You-Know-Who.

Here are some possibilities for our Complainer in Chief to pay off his karma debt for throwing the Ukraine to the Russian wolves in not letting them have the military aid that was promised them when they needed it: Being embodied as a soldier at t...

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Funny story: Thoughts For The New Year

Thoughts For The New Year

Since when has it been OK to put chocolate in breakfast cereal? If both cars and cows are contributing to global warming, why don't we just cut the problem in half and ride cows to work? If Donald Trump had been alive in the Roman times, would...

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Funny story: US Women Astronauts Set Space Records But Lack Reproduction Rights On Earth

US Women Astronauts Set Space Records But Lack Reproduction Rights On Earth

A 40-year-old electrical engineer broke the 288-day record set by a former female space station commander in 2016-2017. The engineer is planning to spend a total of 328 days aboard the space station before returning to Earth. She has an additiona...

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Funny story: Facts about your anus

Facts about your anus

Here are some interesting facts you might not know about your anus. Your anus is the coldest place in the solar system. Your anus is tilted at 98 degrees. Your anus has its own atmosphere. Your anus is made up largely of ammonia and metha...

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Funny story: Wile E Monkey vs The Billingsgate Runner: Part I

Wile E Monkey vs The Billingsgate Runner: Part I

BILLINGSGATE POST: This is right out of Looney Tunes. So hold on and enjoy the ride. And make way on the road, for The Billingsgate Runner is a bird built to scoot. Sadly, whether his demise comes from boulders or ACME Anvils, Wile E Monkey never...

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Funny story: The Old Testament - A Book Report

The Old Testament - A Book Report

Many of us verbalize a desire to read the Bible at one point or another. A common comment made by those who have tried is that there is a lot of who begat whom at the beginning, and, as it’s no one they know, they stop reading. I’m unusual in t...

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Funny story: Dear Esteemed Politician

Dear Esteemed Politician

Dear Esteemed Politician, You may think that we want to know everything that has happened in your life, every opinion you have ever held, and every thought that has crossed your pretty little mind, but we really don't, as the following story epito...

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Funny story: Pope Francis Cancels Christianity

Pope Francis Cancels Christianity

In a recent message from the Vatican, Pope Francis confessed that the Catholic faith has lately lost its mass appeal, and that, to regain adherents, Catholics must not be afraid to make bold changes, if not found a new religion altogether. In a p...

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Funny story: Santa Putin

Santa Putin

Sung by Donald Trump, in his negligee. Santa Putin, just slip some oppo on Joe Biden, For me. Been a really useful tool, Santa Putin, So hurry down my chimney tonight. Santa Putin, the 2020 election too, For my coup. I'll wait up for you d...

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Funny story: Why not try Big Game Hunting in 2020?

Why not try Big Game Hunting in 2020?

It has risen massively in popularity during 2019, especially among people with too much time and money on their hands who really, really love animals. Why not go to Africa and have a go at "The Big Five"? Geoff Arse is a professional tour guide in...

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Funny story: Top 10 Reasons Nasty Pelosi Didn't Turn Over Articles of Impeachment for Senate Trial

Top 10 Reasons Nasty Pelosi Didn't Turn Over Articles of Impeachment for Senate Trial

Washington D.C. - This week, Democrats fulfilled their over-three-year-long dream by passing two articles of Impeachment against President Trump. A journey proclaimed the day he was inaugurated, and even voted on by the House of Representatives three...

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Funny story: My thought for the day - December 21st 2019 by Ray Ving, 78, and three months, you know

My thought for the day - December 21st 2019 by Ray Ving, 78, and three months, you know

Hello there, you young people. Would you like to know my thoughts? You would? No, you wouldn't? Well, you are reading this, so I can gather that you want to be informed as to what I am thinking? Or not? Would you like to go away then? Read somethi...

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Funny story: Is Rudy Giuliani Going Hollywood?

Is Rudy Giuliani Going Hollywood?

It seems as though Rudy Giuliani is morphing into the Dustin Hoffman character from the film Wag The Dog. And while on the subject of movies, Donald Trump is tweeting himself into a petty, mean spirited, revengeful Forrest Gump. The Hoffman charac...

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Funny story: Mr Ray Ving's thoughts for the day

Mr Ray Ving's thoughts for the day

In another one of our very rare interviews with Mr Ray Ving, a 78-year-old from Mithering on the Trent, we ask him what he has been thinking about lately. Here, for your delectation, are his thoughts: It is one of those mysteries that is only to k...

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