Why Shredding the Constitution Will Save Us From the Coronavirus
The past weeks have witnessed decisive actions taken by local governments to enforce social distancing to slow the spread of the coronavirus. For example, restaurants have been forced to close, non-essential workers have lost their jobs or become fur...Read full story
Coronavirus COVID-19: What Does It Want?
As the worldwide pandemic starts to unfold, and the Coronavirus continues to do its dirty work right across the globe, some in the scientific community are hard at work trying to establish just what it is that the virus wants, and why it hasn't alrea...Read full story
A Limerick For The Ages
BILLINGSGATE POST: To call this just another limerick would be akin to calling World War II just another war, Secretariat just another horse, or the Hope Diamond just another rock. To celebrate the publishing of this new and never-before-seen limeri...Read full story
Limericks That Link The Unabomber And Monica Lewinsky Together
BILLINGSGATE POST: As inexplicable as fate is, two totally unrelated people were tied together by their unusual names. Ted Kaczynski gained his notoriety as the Unabomber a number of years ago. As you probably remember, Monica Lewinsky was the intern...Read full story
Is Coronavirus An Invasion From Outer Space?
The United States is the world leader. Sorry, England and France and Germany. But it’s true. England has the culture, the literature, and the Queen; France has the food, fashion, and les croissants; Germany has machines, sauerbraten, and Angela Merke...Read full story
More Kaczynski- Lewinsky Limericks
BILLINGSGATE POST: I am being deluged by reader requests for more (and better) limericks. This is appalling. However, because it reflects more on the character of the reader than the writer, the apparent lack of discretionary taste that separates ma...Read full story
Where Is General Trump?
Ever see a general skip a war? Tell his privates that they were in charge? That they should fight the battle? Announce he was just there as a backup? And then back up into his tent, abandoning his command, and, instead of taking charge, fight another...Read full story
Hillary Clinton Asks Dr. Billingsgate For Marital Help
BILLINGSGATE POST: Dear Dr. Billingsgate, Ever since I lost the election to Donald Trump, my husband has not been himself. He complains about everything; stomach problems, not being able to focus, and most troublesome of all, during sex, he c...Read full story
We're all having a bit of a grim time of it at the moment, but think on! - some folks have a grim time of it all the time! Yes, you might think that things have got a little dark and depressing for you during the current health crisis, but 'dark a...Read full story
Coping With Coronavirus Boredom
BILLINGSGATE POST: The silence was deafening. All was quiet on the Western front. Not even the the Banshee rag pickers were howling. It was worse than that. Mice were nibbling on Velveeta cheese with rubber-tipped teeth so that their sounds were muf...Read full story
The Plusses and Minuses of Frozen Carrots
This is a very poor time for a refrigerator to malfunction. You don’t want a tradesperson in your house, when you’re afraid to see your own children. But last week, our refrigerator decided to freeze 10 pounds of carrots rock hard. At my time of...Read full story
Sociopath to volunteer more in the Autumn
Local sociopath, Simon Thomas Plumbs Greaves, plans to do more volunteering in the Autumn when Coronavirus is over, he has said on his Twitter feed. 'I don't know what I should be doing, but I feel I should be doing more. I will in the autumn. Com...Read full story
Donald Trump As An Airline Captain
If Donald Trump were an airline captain of a Boeing 747, and the United States his passenger, the nation would be headed towards a crash. Some will make it to life rafts and drift, some will swim to shore and survive, however, many will die. The p...Read full story
Illuminati to Focus on World Finance Domination
AUSTIN, TEXAS - The Illuminati are giving up on "Political Intrigue", because they are sick and tired of the "f*cking incompetence" which is rampant among ALL politicians. Keeping their focus on control of the Financial Markets, the Banks, and Invest...Read full story
Corona Cosmos: What Kind of Social Distancer Are YOU?
While the term “social distancing” has an off-puttingly clinical ring, the fact is, we each bring our own individual style and flair to the practice of self-isolation. What kind of social distancer are YOU? Peruse these common social distancing types...Read full story
Billingsgate Archives: One Nut Away From Having A Chipmunk In White House
BILLINGSGATE POST: The below article appeared in the September 2004 edition of the prestigious BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL, for which it received the coveted Bulshitzer Prize. Perhaps some of the current readers and contributors to The Spoof are not awar...Read full story