Funny story: Why Shredding the Constitution Will Save Us From the Coronavirus

Why Shredding the Constitution Will Save Us From the Coronavirus

The past weeks have witnessed decisive actions taken by local governments to enforce social distancing to slow the spread of the coronavirus. For example, restaurants have been forced to close, non-essential workers have lost their jobs or become fur...

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Funny story: Coronavirus COVID-19: What Does It Want?

Coronavirus COVID-19: What Does It Want?

As the worldwide pandemic starts to unfold, and the Coronavirus continues to do its dirty work right across the globe, some in the scientific community are hard at work trying to establish just what it is that the virus wants, and why it hasn't alrea...

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Funny story: A Limerick For The Ages

A Limerick For The Ages

BILLINGSGATE POST: To call this just another limerick would be akin to calling World War II just another war, Secretariat just another horse, or the Hope Diamond just another rock. To celebrate the publishing of this new and never-before-seen limeri...

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Funny story: Limericks That Link The Unabomber And Monica Lewinsky Together

Limericks That Link The Unabomber And Monica Lewinsky Together

BILLINGSGATE POST: As inexplicable as fate is, two totally unrelated people were tied together by their unusual names. Ted Kaczynski gained his notoriety as the Unabomber a number of years ago. As you probably remember, Monica Lewinsky was the intern...

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Funny story: Is Coronavirus An Invasion From Outer Space?

Is Coronavirus An Invasion From Outer Space?

The United States is the world leader. Sorry, England and France and Germany. But it’s true. England has the culture, the literature, and the Queen; France has the food, fashion, and les croissants; Germany has machines, sauerbraten, and Angela Merke...

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Funny story: More Kaczynski- Lewinsky Limericks

More Kaczynski- Lewinsky Limericks

BILLINGSGATE POST: I am being deluged by reader requests for more (and better) limericks. This is appalling. However, because it reflects more on the character of the reader than the writer, the apparent lack of discretionary taste that separates ma...

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Funny story: Where Is General Trump?

Where Is General Trump?

Ever see a general skip a war? Tell his privates that they were in charge? That they should fight the battle? Announce he was just there as a backup? And then back up into his tent, abandoning his command, and, instead of taking charge, fight another...

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Funny story: Hillary Clinton Asks Dr. Billingsgate For Marital Help

Hillary Clinton Asks Dr. Billingsgate For Marital Help

BILLINGSGATE POST: Dear Dr. Billingsgate, Ever since I lost the election to Donald Trump, my husband has not been himself. He complains about everything; stomach problems, not being able to focus, and most troublesome of all, during sex, he c...

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Funny story: Yorkshire 'Flu

Yorkshire 'Flu

We're all having a bit of a grim time of it at the moment, but think on! - some folks have a grim time of it all the time! Yes, you might think that things have got a little dark and depressing for you during the current health crisis, but 'dark a...

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Funny story: Coping With Coronavirus Boredom

Coping With Coronavirus Boredom

BILLINGSGATE POST: The silence was deafening. All was quiet on the Western front. Not even the the Banshee rag pickers were howling. It was worse than that. Mice were nibbling on Velveeta cheese with rubber-tipped teeth so that their sounds were muf...

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Funny story: The Plusses and Minuses of Frozen Carrots

The Plusses and Minuses of Frozen Carrots

This is a very poor time for a refrigerator to malfunction. You don’t want a tradesperson in your house, when you’re afraid to see your own children. But last week, our refrigerator decided to freeze 10 pounds of carrots rock hard. At my time of...

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Funny story: Shawshank Redemption 2

Shawshank Redemption 2

Picks up right where original movie left off: Andy and Red waste no time making up for the lost years on the beach in this tropical paradise. They laugh and remember those good old times they spent together in prison, and actually making a true fr...

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Seven day catch up

Check out anything you've missed with the archive:

Funny story: Chunk Esquire?

Chunk Esquire?

Who does not remember the Goonies as being an American classic? One of the funnier of these kiddos is Chunk, and his “truffle shuffle.” He was loud, he wanted to be accepted, and he befriended Sloth. And we didn’t see child actor, Jeff Cohen, really...

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Funny story: Sociopath to volunteer more in the Autumn

Sociopath to volunteer more in the Autumn

Local sociopath, Simon Thomas Plumbs Greaves, plans to do more volunteering in the Autumn when Coronavirus is over, he has said on his Twitter feed. 'I don't know what I should be doing, but I feel I should be doing more. I will in the autumn. Com...

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Funny story: Governor Andrew Cuomo For President

Governor Andrew Cuomo For President

After viewing coverage of Governor Cuomo’s daily press conferences about the coronavirus, voters see what executive ability is all about. Executive ability is not supposed to be a petulant ten-year-old, dressed in his father’s clothes, and wear...

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Funny story: Donald Trump As An Airline Captain

Donald Trump As An Airline Captain

If Donald Trump were an airline captain of a Boeing 747, and the United States his passenger, the nation would be headed towards a crash. Some will make it to life rafts and drift, some will swim to shore and survive, however, many will die. The p...

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Funny story: Stop Trump Bashing

Stop Trump Bashing

Stop Trump-bashing, folks. Quit picking on Donald Trump for messing up a pandemic. What did you expect? Smarts? It isn’t as though the smarts train left the station, the smarts train never made it to the station. He always made things up. Even wh...

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Funny story: Illuminati to Focus on World Finance Domination

Illuminati to Focus on World Finance Domination

AUSTIN, TEXAS - The Illuminati are giving up on "Political Intrigue", because they are sick and tired of the "f*cking incompetence" which is rampant among ALL politicians. Keeping their focus on control of the Financial Markets, the Banks, and Invest...

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Funny story: Corona Cosmos: What Kind of Social Distancer Are YOU?

Corona Cosmos: What Kind of Social Distancer Are YOU?

While the term “social distancing” has an off-puttingly clinical ring, the fact is, we each bring our own individual style and flair to the practice of self-isolation. What kind of social distancer are YOU? Peruse these common social distancing types...

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Funny story: Billingsgate Archives: One Nut Away From Having A Chipmunk In White House

Billingsgate Archives: One Nut Away From Having A Chipmunk In White House

BILLINGSGATE POST: The below article appeared in the September 2004 edition of the prestigious BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL, for which it received the coveted Bulshitzer Prize. Perhaps some of the current readers and contributors to The Spoof are not awar...

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