Top 10 Things That WILL Kill You in 2020
Death is ALWAYS around an unexpected corner. A person can NEVER be too safe. FEAR not, friends. I’m here to proffer a very specific list in the hopes that it will SAVE lives. Below is a list of the ten most likely things to KILL you in th...Read full story
Even MORE Stuff from the Progressive Shoppers’ Mart – The Premier E-tailing Site for Enlightened Ideologues
You’ve demanded it, and here it is! We’ve been out scrounging around second-hand elitist boutiques, digging through Deep-State detritus dumps, and raiding the dustbins of those radical trendsetters whose stuff we know you crave. So, don’t delay! O...Read full story
Russia Bounty Hunters Okay, But Peaceful Protesters No?
It’s an either-or proposition. Donald Trump was told, back in February of 2019, that Russia was paying bounty money to the Taliban to kill American soldiers in Afghanistan. There was even evidence of bank transfers moving cash from Russia to the...Read full story
Trump’s Thug Language
Grammar schools are supposed to emphasize proper language and communicative skills. Still, judging from Donald Trump’s communicative skills or lack thereof, he either failed at this, or attended the Thug-Alley Stick Ball Grammar School in Queens.Read full story
CDC Warning to Men with Trophy Wives
Life is not uncomplicated for old men with trophy wives. Such wives are expensive to maintain and can be hard to keep up with. Furthermore, the husband, from time to time, naturally asks himself whether his wife loves him, is faithful, and so on.Read full story
New Huggable "Vlad The Impaler" Doll To Be Released Soon For Online Purchase
Are you lonely? Do you need something to hug at night in order to make you feel safe and cozy? Are teddy bears just not "cutting it" anymore? Well, don't worry, because the IMPALED company recently announced that it will soon be releasing a new...Read full story
Spoof writer's fascination with Harry Maguire borders on Stalking!
Monkey Woods, renowned infamous Spoof writer, devout Yorkshireman, and Hull City die-hard supporter, has recently been observed as an obsessive Manchester United observer, because of one player, Harry Maguire! Jaggedone, a die-hard Manchester Unit...Read full story
You had all of lockdown to read me and you still have not read a page
Location: Your Desk Let’s be clear, it has been about four months since this whole stay at home thing started. You pulled me out of the bookshelf, placed me on the desk, and told a friend that you were finally going to read me. What happened? Neve...Read full story
Donald Trump Up To His Neck This Time
Donald Trump, by now, must have a rubber stamp that says I Wasn't Told. His latest I Wasn't Told excuse is about Russia paying Taliban terrorists a sum of money or a bounty if they were to kill American or Allied soldiers in Afghanistan. I Wasn't...Read full story
During the Vietnam days, claiming bone spurs and fighting the war against VD, Donald Trump was a landlord and also fighting rent control in Manhattan. Born in Queens, he longed for the big time in Manhattan. Once there, he wanted to tear down a bu...Read full story
Your Three Chances Of Winning Love: SLIM, NONE and FAT
BILLINGSGATE POST: In the Pantheon of gods that determine your chances of winning love, there are three that govern your destiny. Listed in decreasing order of probability, they are SLIM, NONE and FAT. For those of you who are in love, and wear a...Read full story
Vice President: A Choice Between Anna Wintour Or Meryl Streep
Anyone can beat Trump and Pence, so why not go for a successful woman who isn’t a political figure? Yes, politics are an essential factor, whether editing a magazine or preserving a film career, but Joe Biden doesn’t require a career politician.Read full story
Pandemic Rhapsody (with apologies to Queen)
Is this the real life? Is this a bad nightmare? Caught in a clusterfuck, no escape from reality Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see He’s just a con man, he needs no sympathy Because he’s easy come, easy go, little nuts, always slow Any...Read full story
Hydroxychloroqen: A Memory Supplement?
Commercial for Hydroxychloroqen, with President Trump standing in a Right Maid drugstore, at a counter, without a mask. Do you have concerns about mild memory loss related to aging or illness? Hydroxychloroqen is the number 1 pharmacist-recomme...Read full story
Are you contemplating your navel again?
During Lockdown, it has probably come to your attention that you have been spending too long contemplating your navel. Why is that? Is your navel that interesting? No, it is not, so here are some other things to think about: 1) Why are most pe...Read full story
The Roseanne Barr Flying Circus Has Come To Town
SAN FRANCISCO – A reporter with The San Francisco Nightly Herald, Nixie Ballytuck, sat down with Roseanne Barr, or actually with what is the shell of the old original Roseanne Barr. Ballytuck described the disoriented comedian as the Roseanne Barr...Read full story
Now That Roseanne Barr Has Revealed That Trump is a Woman, Many Are Wondering if He Will Be Grabbing Himself by the You-Know-What
BROOKLYN – The woman who was once 'the' Roseanne Barr, sat in a hotel room and rattled off some semi-incoherent blabbings. Coming out of leftfield, the space cadet revealed some earth-shattering info. She said that President Trump is a woman. Yes,...Read full story
Bunker Boy Wants Military Parade For July 4th
Rose Garden Press Conference: The USA can’t afford testing or masks or PPE to fight coronavirus, but hey, we’ve got the money to waste for a July 4th parade to feed Bunker Boy’s fantasy? Putin has beautiful parades with tanks and rockets and h...Read full story
What If You Gave A Party And Nobody Came?
What if you were having a big celebration? A comeback party. Say, from a coronavirus quarantine, where a million people promised to attend. Confidently, you announced it to the media several times, adding that there would be an overflow area for...Read full story