Funny story - "Local Teen Wrecked Time Continuum!" Says Eccentric Inventor

"Local Teen Wrecked Time Continuum!" Says Eccentric Inventor

A local teen out for a decades-long joy-ride lost control of the vehicle he was driving and slammed into a duplex, totaling it. The vehicle was also a total loss. Martin McFly, 18, was taken into custody without incident and booked on charges of reck…

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Funny story - Cockney 'Sparra', ex-'Barra Boy', Clive 'Wide-Boy' Danton, arises from the ashes and out of his scrapyard!

Cockney 'Sparra', ex-'Barra Boy', Clive 'Wide-Boy' Danton, arises from the ashes and out of his scrapyard!

(NOT EDITED) Once infamous spoofer, now terrorising punters in his scrapyard in the vicinity of Bow Bells, and on Facebook, Clive 'Wide-Boy' Danton, has reappeared with his incredible, indecipherable, bag of goodies filled with vintage Cockney humour…

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Funny story - How To Deal With A Nosy Cunt - Lesson 1

How To Deal With A Nosy Cunt - Lesson 1

When people at gatherings and parties etc., ask how my wife and I met, I like to go into this elaborate lie where I say she was a bridesmaid at my original wedding, and my girlfriend's best friend at the time, and that we hooked up on the actual wedd…

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Funny story - 'Awesome' conversation overheard outside a pub in Birmingham, UK!

'Awesome' conversation overheard outside a pub in Birmingham, UK!

(NOT EDITED) We stand outside the Red Dragon boozer in downtown Birmingham with our ears pricked! "Hey Tommy, your name is now famous all over the globe, it's a Netflix thing!" "Yep, I know, Bobby, lassies won't leave me alone, but they're dis…

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Funny story - How To Deal With A Nosy Cunt - Lesson 5

How To Deal With A Nosy Cunt - Lesson 5

When people at gatherings and parties etc, whom I don't know, ask me how I am doing, I like to reply that "I'm not doing so good, actually. I went to the doctor and he told me I had probably only a couple of weeks to live." I say I asked him what was…

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Funny story - A Person Of Interest

A Person Of Interest

After the most recent shooting in Colorado, the police walked a man down the street, with hands cuffed behind his back, wearing only a pair of black shorts, and he had blood covering his right leg. He was referred to as a person of interest. I…

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Funny story - British Women Have British Men Cornered

British Women Have British Men Cornered

Late News: After Brexit, British women feel they have British men strapped under their umbrellas and boxed in under their control, because men are now unable to escape the British Isles to get romantic relief from extremely amorous French and Spanish…

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Funny story - Conversations With My Peruvian Wife: Number 2.

Conversations With My Peruvian Wife: Number 2.

THE MONSTERS/FRANKENSTEIN Date: March 15th, 2021. Location: Home, watching TV. Weather Conditions: Sunny. Mental State: Slightly high. Gissell: Did you have that show 'The Frankensteins' in England? Me: Come again? Gissell: The Fran…

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Funny story - Grandchildren Critical Of 95-Year-Old Grandmother

Grandchildren Critical Of 95-Year-Old Grandmother

Sharper than a serpent’s tooth. Two grandchildren who never held a 9 to 5 job, but were gifted with homes, designer wardrobes, horses, servants, nannies, free travel around the world, and breakfast in bed every morning, are complaining because, gosh,…

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Funny story - Conversations With My Peruvian Wife: Number 1.

Conversations With My Peruvian Wife: Number 1.

DAVID BOWIE Date: March 2nd, 2021. Location: Car, listening to the radio. Weather Conditions: Sunny. Mental State: Normal. *Gigi singing along to Heroes by David Bowie which is playing on the radio. Me: You know David Bowie isn't…

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Funny story - Smuckmeister On Cuomo: Put A Saddle On That Jackass And Ride Him Outa Here

Smuckmeister On Cuomo: Put A Saddle On That Jackass And Ride Him Outa Here

BILLINGSGATE POST: Elmer Smuckmeister, the conscience of Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, thought he had seen it all. A rector in the Beaver Crossing Unity Church, Elmer was not perfect. To the contrary: Just lately, during a snow storm, he had dressed u…

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Funny story - President Joe Biden Trips Climbing Air Force One Steps

President Joe Biden Trips Climbing Air Force One Steps

So, Joe Biden tripped climbing the steps of Air Force One? Holy cow! Get the ambulance, strap him to a stretcher, time for the retirement home. But send the trip through the loop every half-hour, on Fox News, follow with a debate about Biden's me…

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Funny story - How To Deal With A Nosy Cunt - Lesson 2

How To Deal With A Nosy Cunt - Lesson 2

When people at gatherings and parties etc., ask how many kids I have, I like to reply that I have three beautiful daughters and one really ugly one. I then elaborate that she truly is minging, I mean fucking horrendous-looking, like I wouldn't wish…

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Funny story - Brit anthropologists investigate the gradual extinction of a 'Rare Breed' of Homo-sapiens residing next to Bow Bells!

Brit anthropologists investigate the gradual extinction of a 'Rare Breed' of Homo-sapiens residing next to Bow Bells!

(NOT EDITED) Brit anthropologists are studying the gradual extinction a rather strange breed who once resided in the East End of London in an attempt to discover why they are gradually disappearing from the planet! Here are some explanations: C…

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Funny story - How To Deal With A Nosy Cunt - Lesson 3

How To Deal With A Nosy Cunt - Lesson 3

When people at gatherings and parties etc., ask how my wife and I met, I like to go into this elaborate lie where I say that, albeit I was a stranger, I was a kidney donor who matched her then husband's blood type, and was a perfect match. I then…

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Funny story - The Suicide Tooth: A Source of Angst for Certain Professionals

The Suicide Tooth: A Source of Angst for Certain Professionals

A spy entering a foreign country on a covert mission may be captured and interrogated under torture. To prevent the revelation of information that could destroy a network of critical assets, a suicide tooth may have been implanted in the spy's jaw. O…

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Funny story - Ice Cream Maker Brought Vagina Cream Mainstream

Ice Cream Maker Brought Vagina Cream Mainstream

The Great British Ice Cream Company food scientists explain how they created the new vulva Phish Food flavor by unlocking the secrets to their Vagina Cream Swirl. Male and lesbian customers were nothing but grateful when The Great British Ice C…

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Funny story - Signs That You Might Be A Latent Cuomosexual

Signs That You Might Be A Latent Cuomosexual

BILLINGSGATE POST: If you don’t know whether you’re a Cuomosexual, you probably have never questioned a gal half your age if she ever had sex with a geriatric. Perhaps you have never asked a naive little chickadee if she would “just let you hang it…

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Funny story - Do you miss the Argos Catalogue?

Do you miss the Argos Catalogue?

Ever since it stopped being published, the Argos Catalogue has gained a sort of mystic following, with people taking to internet forums to discuss the multi-coloured book of dreams. However, do you miss it? Do you miss the door-stop of crinkly pap…

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Funny story - The Duke And Duchess Of Los Angeles

The Duke And Duchess Of Los Angeles

Well, more gossip about the trials and tribulations of marrying into the royal family of Great Britain. It’s as though the next step taken by an outsider may either be one on solid footing or one into quicksand. Gulp. All she wanted was a vegan m…

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