Trick For Not Forgetting
Years ago - many years ago - when I was in my 30s, I discovered a foolproof method of prodding short term memory into action. It was very good for items such as not forgetting to stop at the store on the way home, or to keep an appointment, or other...Read full story
1970s TV That Everyone Loves But Can't Remember
OK, another pointless clickbait list. Please join me in rushing home from school to watch one of these classics of British TV back when it was just mediocre, as opposed to unwatchable garbage: 1. The Persuaders Tony Curtis and Roger Moore t...Read full story
Donald Trump Releases His Highlight Reel and Requires all His Followers to Buy it and Watch it Daily
A new object in every Republican's DVD player will be the President's new highlight reel, released in a huge ceremony on Thursday. President Trump is explaining to his followers that if they don't buy the DVD, then they are just aiding the enemy.Read full story
SNP Daewoo Deepfry
Initial Impressions The deepfry is actually a solid and reliable vehicle despite its rather poor history. It does still sadly have a tendency to only go in one direction, and to break down when put under pressure. As usual, it is badly let down by...Read full story
Sis-Boom-Bah: What Does A Sheep Sound Like When It Explodes?
BILLINGSGATE POST: It’s noteworthy that Dr. Billingsgate is deviating from his successful Harry Maguire formula that has brought him fame and fortune. However, exploding sheep may have a greater cult following in England than the overpaid Manchester...Read full story
The Billionaires Of The World Record a Remake Of Micheal Jackson's 'We Are The World'.
The Billionaires Of The World Record a Remake Of Micheal Jackson's 'We Are The World'. (A Very Different Version) Mark Zuckerberg had a brainstorm one evening. A fervent brainstorm. One so strong that he called all the other top billionaires in...Read full story
Who Said That?
BILLINGSGATE POST: "Who Said That?" 1. Weightlifting commentator at the Olympic Snatch and Jerk Event: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing." 2. Ted Walsh, Horse Racing Commenta...Read full story
October General Election May Be Monster Raving Loony Party's Big Chance
The political shenanigans being played by Prime Minister Boris Johnson, and the furore surrounding them which has led to some analysts to suggest an October General Election might be on the cards, could well benefit one party that has, until now, pro...Read full story
I A little background is required before I embark on my first lobster tale. I came from a middle-class family and my paternal grandparents were at the upper limit of the socioeconomic boundary, but as immigrants, lived quite modestly. My grandmother...Read full story
Comic Book Characters Too Macho for Disney
If, like me, you grew up in the 1960s or 1970s, you will be familiar with comics. Lying on your tummy and reading about superheroes was a weekly event. Sadly hollywood is going woke and ruining even American favourites. Here's a few of my heroes who...Read full story
Trump Ex-Wife Reveals All His Secrets--Including His Biggest Hero!
New York, NY In an exclusive interview (which cost this publication a pretty penny), Marla Maples, ex-wife of President Trump, revealed many unrevealed tidbits about Trump. It is thought that Ms. Maples is revealing all this in retaliation for Trump...Read full story
How Slim Everdingle Gave James Comey The Quasimodo Shuffle: Part 2
BILLINGSGATE POST: Everdingle was wearing his standard issue Dickies Short Sleave Mechanics Coveralls with a V-Neck, Fruit-Of-The-Loom white tee shirt underneath. A 9mm Heckler & Koch MPS sub-machine gun was strapped to his thigh. With his tailo...Read full story
How Slim Everdingle Gave James Comey The Quasimodo Shuffle: Part 1
BILLINGSGATE POST: The metronomic ticking of the time bomb that would provide kaleidoscopic evidence that the FBI was colluding with the Russians was forcing Special Agent Slim Everdingle into making a virtual Hobson’s Choice; whether to go with his...Read full story
People Who Would Beat Trump if the 2020 Election Were Held Today
Ever since President Trump's dimwitted appearance at the G7 Conference, his popularity has been dwindling in the United States, and has hit rock bottom in the rest of the world. In the absence of a Republican candidate to challenge Trump, polls in...Read full story
The Charlatan On The Mount: Boris Addresses the Multitude
And lo, Boris stood upon the hillside and a great multitude gathered before him, and he spake unto them, saying: Blessed are the Brexiteers, for they shall be called the fuckwits of God. Blessed are they who hunger and thirst during the post-Br...Read full story
10 Things You Didn't Know About Harry and Meghan
1: Harry first encountered Meghan on Safari in Nairobi where he shot her in the back, after mistaking her for a charging bull elephant 2: Harry proposed to Meghan in a swish restaurant in London's Cannon Street. She responded by jokingly tipping h...Read full story
9 secret ways to know if you really are the chosen one - you might be surprised!
With fictional characters and arch-villains, Donald Trump and Darth Vader claiming to both be the chosen one, we ask, could you be the chosen one? Did you have any of the following character traits? 1) A massive ego 2) One hand, or two very small...Read full story
Rail fares to rise by 2.8% in January 2018
The latest increase will add more than £100 to many annual season tickets....why wait to get ripped off. Save ££££’s on Gym Fees, stay healthy and save the planet...buy the new ‘Berlin Ripper’ available now at all good bike stores....and even Halford...Read full story
"This Little Piggy:" What Really Happened to the Little Piggies
The nursery rhyme we grew up with - "This Little Piggy" - was one we enjoyed as children. But on reflection, the tale leaves much unexplained . For a refresher, here's the rhyme in its entirety: This little piggy went to market, This little pig...Read full story