KAGOSHIMA, Japan – (Sports Satire) – The Saki-Saki News Agency has stated that the world’s first transgender wrestler, Yamaha Wasabi, 37, has lost for the first time in her 12-month career.
Wasabi, who weighs a whopping 521 pounds, was clobbered beyond belief by Yokohama native, Akasuki “The Dragon Fish” Shitshino, who only weighs 497 pounds.
Reporters said that they had never seen a wrestler beaten as badly as Wasabi was by Shitshino, and that her back had so many scratches, it looked like an aerial view of the Chicago Stockyards.
Wasabi’s trainer said his wrestler had been battling the dreaded Origami 8-Day Flu, and, as a result, had lost 17 pounds in the past 48 hours.
She'd lost her appetite, and gone from eating six daily helpings of Sushi Shashimi Sukiyaki Eel to just two..
Wasabi, who was born Satsuma Nissan, first started dressing as a girl at the tender age of just 7 weeks. She said she hated the color blue with a passion, and, up until she was 2, only wore pink.
Her current record is 17-1. She is planning on traveling to America to appear on her favorite American daytime talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show.