There have been 911 spoof news stories published in 2020. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to browse the spoof news archives.
Liverpool To Be Crowned Premier League Champions Tonight
In an unprecedented, and landmark action in the history of the Football League earlier today, it was announced that Liverpool are to be crowned Premier League champions at midnight tonight, despite nearly half of the season still remaining. The Re...
Read full storyManchester United: Defeat Against Norwich Will Be Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's Last Match
Manchester United go into a crucial match against bottom-of-the-table Norwich City at Old Trafford this afternoon, knowing that a defeat would almost certainly bring down the curtain on Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's managerial reign. After Wednesday's hu...
Read full storyManchester United Boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer Takes Responsibility For Piss Poor Show At Wolves
Manchester United boss, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, was quick to accept responsibility for his team's poor showing in their FA Cup 3rd-round tie against Wolverhampton Wanderers at Molineux yesterday, the match ending 0-0, with United failing to register a...
Read full storyTrump Orders Incarceration of All Iranians in U. S.
Mar-a-Lago, Florida. Woof Blister reporting for SIN, Spoof International News. In a terse tweet, issued in the wee, small hours of the morning, Monday, President Donald Trump directed Homeland Security agents to apprehend and incarcerate all Iranians...
Read full storyManchester United Boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer Wants To Be Kept On 'In Some Capacity'
Beleaguered Manchester United boss, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, knows it is just a matter of time before he loses his job at the club, but says he loves being around Old Trafford, and would appreciate being kept on "in some capacity". The Norwegian, 46,...
Read full storyManchester United's Harry Maguire Victim Of Anonymous Prank After Someone Shits In His Football Boots
An investigation is underway at Old Trafford this evening, after it was found that Manchester United and England central defender, Harry Maguire, had become the unwitting victim of a senseless and evil prank, and that some filthy animal had taken a s...
Read full storyHarry Maguire Wants To Score Goals
Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England central defender, has told team-mates that, despite his success at the club, and his pivotal role in the Old Trafford back four, he harbours a secret desire to score goals, and lots of them. Maguire...
Read full storyRonnie Radford Reveals He Was Aiming For The Top Right Corner
Hereford United's famous FA Cup hero, Ronnie Radford, the man responsible for the 'missile out of the mud' goal against Newcastle United in 1972, has admitted, for the first time, that he meant to go for the top right-hand corner, not the left. He...
Read full storyNewcastle United Boss Steve Bruce Admits His Team Didn't Know How To Handle Aaron Wilbraham
Newcastle United have come unstuck before in the FA Cup, being embarrassed by the never-to-be-forgotten exploits of Hereford United in 1972, and it was almost more of the same yesterday as the Magpies barely managed to scrape a replay with League One...
Read full storyTrump Says He Can Eliminate New Iranian General Whilst He's Having A Bath
President Donald Trump has flexed his military muscles in response to various threats of Iranian revenge, by saying that, if it suits him, he could eliminate the new leader of the elite Quds force, Esmail Ghaani, whilst he is in the bath. That's,...
Read full storyGhost Of Angry Technical Writer Who Never Achieved Full Self-Actualization Still Haunting Students At Campus Regardless Of Renovations And Technological Updates
Despite the fact that major renovations were made to several dorm buildings as well as the Caitlan Library at Skyland University in Central Iowa, students keep complaining that they hear the voice of a belligerent spirit telling them that they have n...
Read full storyMourinho Admits Tottenham Are A One-Man Team
Jose Mourinho, the Tottenham Hotspur boss is no stranger to controversy, making tidal waves of drama with every word he utters, but few can have been more forthright than his statement yesterday, that, without Harry Kane, Spurs are nothing, and a bit...
Read full storyIran And Iraq Travel Advice Update
The killing of so-called terrorist leader, Qasem Soleimani, by US forces earlier this week has drawn stern warnings of revenge from Iran, and the British Foreign Office has issued new travel advice for Britons intending to travel to the area, and, in...
Read full storyMan Still Doesn't Know What He Wants To Do When He Leaves School
Leaving school and going out into the big, wide world is a huge step in our lives, and a choice has to be made about how we are going to make our way in life, but one man has revealed that he STILL doesn't know what he wants to do when he leaves scho...
Read full storyGang Member Made Son Smoke Whole Pack of Fools in One Day
LA - Young Andre got a hard lesson in parenting last week after his father, Tré, a member of the Bull Creek Street Gang, caught him smoking fools. On Wednesday night, Andre was out on the town with his boys when one of them suggested they get some...
Read full storyNashville Man Vows to Come Up with Really Good New Year's Resolution(s) for Next Year
Frustrated at finding himself yet again scrambling at the end of the year to come up with a New Year's resolution worthy of his sincere intention, Edwin Wallace of Nashville, Tennessee, abandoned the quest for this year, but vowed to come up with a t...
Read full storyMan Feels He Isn't Appreciated By His Ducks
A man whose family keep ducks has raised concerns that they just walk around the garden thinking they own the place, and show no appreciation whatsoever for anything that is being done on their behalf. Moys Kenwood, 56, who prepares the ducks' foo...
Read full storyTen Predictions Absolutely Certain to be True in the Next Decade
1. Baby Boomers, Gen Xers and Millennials will all age at least ten years, although everyone will be able to deny it, as the socialist administrations of Presidents Sanders and Ocasio-Cortez, will offer free botox to anyone who needs it. And they wil...
Read full storyPoll guru Sir John Curtice makes astounding predictions about next week in Westminster – Jeremy Corbyn will leave his wallet at home and Boris Johnson’s new puppy will shit on the kitchen floor
Polling expert Sir John Curtice, writing in Mystic Meg’s column in The Sun newspaper today, has warned that next Thursday, lame-duck Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, will leave his wallet at home in a rush to get to work. The damning foretelling is bound...
Read full storyPresident Trump Hard At Work On World War 4
After last week's airstrike that killed Iranian general Qasem Soleimani, and the fallout from that incident that has brought the world to the brink of a new world conflict, President Trump was back at his White House desk over the weekend, putting th...
Read full storyHarvey Weinstein complains about prison treatment
Disgraced director Harvey Weinstein has been imprisoned in New York's Sweatbreak Prison for nearly two years, and is beginning to feel the heat. According to prison documents made public this week, Weinstein has made seven complaints about his tre...
Read full storyTo End World Hunger, Vatican Scientists Replicate Transubstantiation
The Vatican—Saying “God has now miraculously revealed how to turn seven loaves and a few small fish into a worldwide smorgasbord,” a Vatican spokesperson announced today that their scientists have figured out the physics behind the process of transub...
Read full storyThoughts For The New Year
Since when has it been OK to put chocolate in breakfast cereal? If both cars and cows are contributing to global warming, why don't we just cut the problem in half and ride cows to work? If Donald Trump had been alive in the Roman times, would...
Read full storyKarmatic Alternatives To Impeachment For You-Know-Who.
Here are some possibilities for our Complainer in Chief to pay off his karma debt for throwing the Ukraine to the Russian wolves in not letting them have the military aid that was promised them when they needed it: Being embodied as a soldier at t...
Read full storyDrone Strike Takes Out Large Iranian Suicide Cockroach Suspected Of Biting Melania Trump
A military drone today took out several rooms of the world renowned Mar-a-Lago. The target? The most insidious weapon ever deployed by Iran, a large Madagascar hissing cockroach. "It was spotted by Mrs Trump in the laboratory of their master bedro...
Read full storyDonald Trump will travel to Green Zone to rally the troops and deliver major address
Major news organizations such as Reuters are reporting that Melania, Jared, and Ivanka have declined Mr. Trump's invitation to accompany him to Baghdad this coming weekend. Mr. Pompeo has likewise declined, citing an important conference in Moose...
Read full storyNashville Musician Explains that notwithstanding Superficial Similarities, His Music Is Not Country
Nashville, Tennessee, musician Wes Woodward has a tough time categorizing the music created by his band Meridional Pyre, but he is very clear that it is most definitely not country music. "I'd say it's best described as southern Gothic with black...
Read full storyBuckwalter “Bucky” Beaver Passes Away In Beaver Crossing
BILLINGSGATE POST: The Mayor of Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, Buckwalter “Bucky” Beaver III passed away at the age of 91 on January 1, 2020. He left three sons to share his estate; BuckaRoo, BuckaRay and BuckaRee. All shared the same nickname, “Bucky...
Read full storyAren't there enough weirdos in politics as it is?
In the latest of a seemingly more regular slot, 78-and-a-half-year-old man, Ray Ving, gives us his opinion on the important matters of the day. 'I was reading, as you do, the front page of The Times today. I didn't buy it, but I read it, which is...
Read full storyGugu announces rat killing wireless utility power at CES
Lost Vegas, Nervana - Today at the Consumed Electrocuted Schtick (CES) conference, on the strip, startup Gugu (trying to leapfrog off the Googoo name?) showed a very impressive wireless charging system based on military millimeter wave (MMwave) techn...
Read full storyLocal man falls in love with suction hook
A 54-year-old Whitechapel man has told a local paper that he has fallen deeply in love with a small green suction hook given to his wife as a gift and that he won't rest until he has made the item his for all eternity. Toby Dell, a carpet-fitter f...
Read full storyWind Blew Fence Down
An extra strong gust of wind was thought to have been responsible for damage to the fence of a house in Nottingham this morning, after the owner of the property woke early to go to the toilet, looked outside, and saw a section of his latted fence lai...
Read full storyNashville Man Considers Becoming Bipolar
"Emotions are exhausting," noted Ben Moffat of Nashville, Tennessee. "It would be a whole lot easier to have just two of them." For that reason, Moffat explained that he is seriously considering becoming bipolar. "That way, when someone asks me h...
Read full storyGolden Globe Goers Complain Vegan Opera Cake a Little Dry
At the 77th Golden Globes awards dinner, guests enjoyed an entirely plant-based feast which included chilled golden beet soup, wild mushroom risotto, and roasted Brussels sprouts, but some attendees reportedly found the dessert, a vegan "opera cake,"...
Read full storyDesperate FDA Encourages Americans to Get Comfortable in Their Bodies Just as They Are
"Times have changed, and we need to change with them," was the New Year's message offered by Food and Drug Administration Commissioner Dr. Stephen Hahn, who urged Americans to abandon unrealistic expectations about living in a trim, fit body. "We nee...
Read full storyDerelict Building Falls Down
Police and council officials have attended a location in a suburban area of Nottingham where a house, believed to have been empty for up to 15 years, suddenly collapsed this morning, leaving a pile of dust where it once stood. The house, at 43 Nin...
Read full storyNashville Man Thus Far Unsuccessful in Attempts to Devise Divisibility Test for Seven
"I wasn't trying to reinvent relativity or anything, but I did hope I could contribute a little something to the world of mathematics," said Carl Larsen of Nashville, Tennessee, of his efforts to devise a divisibility test for the number seven. "Boy,...
Read full storyCorbyn and Cummings form Downing Street Dream Team
So, he's made it after all. Good ol' Jeremy! The PM's senior typist and telephonist, Dominic Cummings, landed a genuine coup when requesting applications to 'help out' with his chores at No. 10. Applicants were to be well-proven 'weirdos and misfi...
Read full storyIt’s a Sad Sad Sad Sad World: A Review
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was sad. If anyone wanted to know why, she explained that impeaching the president was a sad but necessary thing to do. To reinforce the idea that she was sad, the Speaker of the House had donned a funereal, black mid-calf...
Read full storyThree Countries Losing the Most Habitat to Fires are Run by Dimwits Who Don't Believe in Climate Science
Washington - In an ironic coincidence, the three countries which have lost the most forests, grasslands and natural wildlife habitats to massive uncontained fires are currently managed by three idiotic, clueless morons who refuse to believe the overw...
Read full storyNashville Man Questions whether His Cat Truly Respects Him
Although Trent Harwood of Nashville, Tennessee, does his best not to take things personally, he admitted to questioning whether his cat, Sheba, truly respects him. "Sometimes I feel like she's playing with me," said Harwood of the alluring Abyssin...
Read full storySurvey: More of Britain's elderly now send grandchildren to bed early so they can have sex
According to a recent report, there has been a sharp increase in the number of people over 60 who are sending their grandchildren to bed early so that they can have sex on the sofa. With many parents using their own mothers and fathers to take car...
Read full storyMan Wasn't Looking For Asian Singles, But Thought He'd Look Into It Anyway
A man absentmindedly perusing the internet pages of a satirical news website has told today, of how he felt increasingly pressured into looking for Asian singles. Moys Kenwood, 56, was idling through the pages of TheSpoof.com, when he became aware...
Read full storyInternal documents reveal ice cream industry lobby behind Illinois weed legalization
If residents thought the effort to legalize weed in the state of Illinois was an entirely grass-roots-organized movement, then it might come as something of a buzzkill to learn that powerful ice cream industry lobbying actually spearheaded the push.
Read full storyQueen To Step Back From Royal Duties
As part of an ever-growing trend, Her Majesty the Queen has, this morning, announced that she will be stepping back from her royal role, and will gradually retire from public life, which she described as "ghastly". This follows similar recent act...
Read full storyVegan woman feels 'cheated' following bubonic plague diagnosis
A 25-year-old woman from Whitechapel in East London has told a local newspaper that she felt angry and cheated after being diagnosed with bubonic plague, despite having adopted a vegan lifestyle 6 months previously. Tracy Dell, a legal secretary,...
Read full storyBenefit Concert in Tehran backfires
Planned as a peace mission, a benefit concert hastily organized by stars from the world of music and theater got a mixed reception from the exclusively female audience at a huge barn on the outskirts of Tehran yesterday. "We want peace with Iran",...
Read full storyWatching Breaking Bad Or The National News
The choice was binging on the Netflix series Breaking Bad or watching the news and Trump’s latest attempt to distract from his Vote of Impeachment, which may be followed by his removal from office. In the old black and white movies, on Turner Cla...
Read full storyHarry and Meghan step back from royal duties to form mixed tag wrestling team
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex stunned the media and royal watchers alike last night, when they made the joint announcement that they are stepping away from their royal duties to form a tag wrestling duo that will compete in the resurgent British pro...
Read full storyNashville Man Narrowly Escapes Emotional Enmeshnent
When the woman he'd been casually seeing for several weeks suddenly, out of nowhere, proposed getting together somewhere outside of his house, Brett Crowley of Nashville, Tennessee, immediately recognized the suggestion for what it was: an invitation...
Read full storyMan Spends Hours Popping Bubblewrap With His Children
A man has revealed how he and his two children spent 'hours' indulging in the extremely satisfying activity of bursting the bubbles in a sheet of bubblewrap that had been used as protective covering on his daughter's new bike. Moys Kenwood, 56, an...
Read full storyCrotchless Aliens Already Here Say NASA Scientists
BILLINGSGATE POST: Confirmation that aliens already have landed on Earth and may have been here for years, has been announced by NASA scientists. In the January edition of NASA’s respected journal “Get Outa My Space,” a picture of one these critter...
Read full storyJuan Guaido climbs fence into National Assembly; rips ass out of trousers
Yesterday, opposition leader Juan Guaido attempted to climb over a fence around the National Assembly Building in Caracas, Venezuela. A vote was taking place to replace him as Speaker with former Guaido supporter, Luis Parra. A year ago, Guaido...
Read full storyPolice called after student gave classmate several slugs to the head
Police were called to Johnston Elementary School after a student allegedly fired several slugs at the back of a classmate's head. 7-year-old Tonya Perkins ran to a teacher saying she was shot several times in the head. When asked who shot her, she...
Read full storyGreggs Staff To Get £100 Voucher After "Phenomenal Year"
Staff at Britain's best-loved pastry shop, Greggs, are to share in a £7million windfall bonus that has come after what the firm called "a phenomenal year" in trading. Shareholders received a £35m special dividend in October. Chief executive, An...
Read full storyRogue audio captured of Trump and Pompeo deep inside D.C. bar with major program discussion
The latest whistleblowing comes from an audio tape secreted in a booth deep inside a Washington D.C. bar called “Club Enobarbus.” How the specific booth was pinpointed for the listening device is, of course, known only by the CIA and such agencies...
Read full storyCummings welcomes Prince Andrew on board
'Weirdos and misfits were requested by Dominic Cummings to join the dream team in Downing Street and now, following newbee Jeremy Corbyn, the PM's personal scriptwriter has found yet another willing adjutant. Yes, the Randy Old Duke of York, Princ...
Read full storyNashville Man Successfully Articulates a Feeling
Uncertain what to do about a physical sensation in his chest that seemed to resemble an emotion, Trenton Locke of Nashville, Tennessee, took a stab at articulating the apparent feeling - to great effect. "I told the woman I was dating that I was a...
Read full storyMeghan and Harry storm the job market
Yep, the finches had been warbling it for weeks. But no-one wanted to listen. And now, Meghan, or rather the cat, has been let out of the bag. The Duchess of Sussex and Prince Harry have had enough. Now it's official. Now there's no going back. Now l...
Read full storyHarry and Meghan to set up new home on Olly Murs' big face
Reports are coming in that controversial royal couple, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, are going to spend a portion of the year living on the big face of pop icon, Olly Murs It is understood that, as well as moving between the US and the UK, Harry...
Read full storySenator Subliminal Seeks the Truth
(The following is an alternative history of the Clarence Thomas confirmation hearings in 1991.) Senator Hatchett: Prof. Hill, let me preface my questioning by telling you how much I—and my colleagues—admire you for your courage and forthwrongness...
Read full storyQueen's Landrover running 'a bit lumpy': "Did Meghan tamper with ignition system?" asks Daily Mail.
The royal rumour mill was abuzz with conjecture last night after a gamekeeper on The Queen's Sandringham estate revealed that Her Majesty had told him that her favourite Landrover Defender was 'running a bit lumpy' following an early morning drive ar...
Read full storyNashville Woman Dresses to Impress on Casual Fridays
While some of her coworkers might give her odd looks when she shows up in a fitted blouse and business skirt on casual Fridays at the office, Lara Revolinski has a plan in mind. "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have," is the motto adop...
Read full storyWorld leaders agree that Iranian Revolutionary Guardsman accidentally picked rocket from store, accidentally put it into a rocket launcher, accidentally aimed it at Ukrainian passenger plane and accidentally fired – it was all an accident!
World leaders have refused to condemn Iran after the damning evidence that it had shot down a Ukrainian passenger jet headed to Ukraine and Canada in what appears to have been a clumsy response to the drone strike by the US military against a Quds Ge...
Read full storyThe Queen To Take Over From Ray Winstone As New Face Of Bet365
In an effort to shake off her royal shackles, and to 'get real' in the world of work, Buckingham Palace has announced that Her Majesty the Queen has been offered a position in advertising, and will take over the role presently occupied by former acto...
Read full storyRicky Gervais Invited to Host MAGA Rally, but Quickly Removed After Calling Trump Crowd "Boorish Halfwits"
Washington - British comic roaster Ricky Gervais, fresh from another appearance in front of a Golden Globes ceremony in which he once again insulted the "Hollywood elite", was recently invited by grateful supporters of the President, who assumed he m...
Read full storyGeorge Orwell alive and well in undisclosed location now under investigation
Approaching his 117th birthday, on June 25, Mr. George Orwell has been discovered in an undisclosed location. Supposedly passed away on January 21,1950, this information is incorrect. US Special Forces kidnapped Orwell from the UK on January 20...
Read full storyDonald Trump Jr. to Take Break from Killing Endangered Animals to Join Iran Battle
Washington - Self-described “Tough as Nails” Rambo wannabe, Donald Trump Jr., will take a hiatus from his hunting trips, leading groups into the wilds and executing endangered animal species with high powered weapons, in order to bravely lead U.S. tr...
Read full storyAnger as Harry and Meghan ghost the Queen
A Buckingham Palace spokesman said that the Queen was upset at being ghosted by Harry and Meghan. He said "The Queen is really, really annoyed. Her son and daughter in law haven't replied to any of her text messages or What's App messages, even ones...
Read full storyHarry And Meghan To Do Promotional Work For H&M
Stressed-out royal couple, Prince Harry and his wife Meghan, have announced that, as part of their first foray into the world of work since stepping back from their monarchical duties, they will be signing contracts to do promotional work with clothi...
Read full storyWoman Sees Through Ex’s Love Avoidant Behavior
Unfooled by his failure to respond to her text messages, emails, and phone calls, Shannon Reese of Nashville, Tennessee, was able to see her ex-boyfriend Josh’s love avoidant behavior for what it actually was: a plea for deeper intimacy. “He’s lik...
Read full storyImmature And Extremely Sadistic Author Trapped Inside His Own Short Story Still Screaming To Get Out
Sources recently confirmed that 43-year-old Jared Wall (an extremely immature and sadistic asshole who thoroughly enjoys writing pointlessly cruel short stories in which helpless characters suffer tremendously before they die) has been missing since...
Read full storyBurned-Out And Profoundly Alcoholic Technical Writer Slowly Ascending Into Heaven After Being Kicked In The Chest By A Horse During Wedding Party Brought Back Down To Earth By God-Damn EMT
Iowa. Although he was peacefully ascending into the bright light of euphoric bliss in the uppermost stretches of the Universe, Gerald Wall, 48, was pulled back down to the cold, harsh, and unforgiving world, last Thursday, by Emergency Medical Techn...
Read full storyHands Off The Threads, Creep
BILLINGSGATE POST: It was right out of Guys and Dolls. Nathan Detroit was Frank Sinatra, and Frank Sinatra was Nathan Detroit. This was in 1955, when girls were broads because they didn’t know no different. They smoked cigarettes, wore pink dresses...
Read full storyGuys Saving Tens of Millions in Taxes Annually Say Those Saving Shit Should Worship Them
Washington - Donald Trump and Sean Hannity, two guys with net worth of hundreds of millions to billions, have saved themselves tens of millions in taxes by helping to push through legislation to reduce corporate and personal tax rates and inheritance...
Read full storyKindergartener Expelled for Saying "Maclunkey" to Classmate
Ever since Disney+ became active with a re-released and slightly edited version of the original Star Wars movie, A New Hope, the word “Maclunkey” has become the topic of intense discussion, debate, and emotional turmoil. Suddenly, in the ever-changi...
Read full storyNashville Man Reaches Compromise with Reality
After decades of pushing for better pay and overall conditions, Mike Chapman of Nashville, Tennessee, finally reached an acceptable compromise with reality. “Kind of a laissez faire approach,” said Chapman. “I don’t bother it, and it doesn’t bothe...
Read full storyDeath Row Cat Evades Man's Attempts To Capture It
A cat which bit a woman's leg for no reason whatsoever other than it is a very bad cat, has been accused, investigated, convicted and sentenced to death, and has subsequently been put on Death Row. The cat, which is a ginger color, bit my wife the...
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