There have been 2,361 spoof news stories published in 2020. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to browse the spoof news archives.
Coronavirus - Patient Zero identified
The first confirmed case of someone suffering from COVID-19 has been traced back as far as December 24 last year, according to a leaked document coming from The World Health Organisation. The Savannah Morning News has reported it had seen data sho...
Read full storyCristiano Ronaldo Wants To Play For Liverpool Next Season
The January transfer window closed at midnight on Friday, and will remain shut for the rest of the season, but already there is talk about what might happen in the summer, and the name that is on everyone's lips is that of Cristiano Ronaldo, and a po...
Read full storyManchester United Captain Harry Maguire To Be Issued With Retrospective Red Card
Controversy was the name of the game at Stamford Bridge last night, as Chelsea were beaten 2-0 by Manchester United in a match totally controversialised by the VAR system. After Martial had given the visitors a first-half lead, Chelsea's Zouma had...
Read full storyCristiano Ronaldo: I Feel So Sorry For Wayne Rooney
They were once the scourge of many a Premier League defence whilst playing for Manchester United, but the careers of Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo have taken different paths recently, with the Portuguese star saying he now feels sorry for the fo...
Read full storyCoronavirus Spelled Backwards = Suriv-Anoroc: A Coincidence?
BILLINGSGATE POST: You might have to change your minds about the relevancy of unintended coincidences. But with all of the handwringing attention being given to the Worldwide Coronavirus epidemic, perhaps some linguistic analysis of the semordnilap o...
Read full storyLiverpool To Be Crowned Premier League Champions Tonight
In an unprecedented, and landmark action in the history of the Football League earlier today, it was announced that Liverpool are to be crowned Premier League champions at midnight tonight, despite nearly half of the season still remaining. The Re...
Read full storyLiverpool Face Points Deduction
Last week it was Manchester City who were in trouble for their financial shenanigans, and this week, an even bigger story is emerging, as Liverpool - with a 22-point cushion at the top of the Premier League - face having some of those points deducted...
Read full storyManchester United In Talks With Eric Cantona
There were raised eyebrows all over the northwest this morning, as news began to filter through to the grey and grimy slums, cobbled streets, and endless ramshackle 2-up-2-down back-to-back terraced houses, that the world's favourite football team, M...
Read full storyLiverpool FC: FA Say Same Team Must Play At Chelsea
After the dust had settled on a memorable victory for the Liverpool under-23 side in their FA Cup 4th-round replay against Shrewsbury Town at Anfield last night, there was a shock in store for manager, Jürgen Klopp, this morning. The Reds team con...
Read full storyJohn Bolton To Replace Ole Gunnar Solskjaer As Manager of Manchester United
BILLINGSGATE POST: Rumors of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s demise as manager of Manchester United’s troubled team have been circulating for months. Just last week, crack Spoof reporter, Monkey Woods, predicted Ole would soon be beating the bricks looking f...
Read full storyWest Ham Sack David Moyes a Second Time After Losing to Amateur Club Hackney Wednesday at London Stadium
London Stadium - Long-suffering supporters of West Ham United who demanded that rehired manager David Moyes be immediately sacked again after Saturday's loss to local amateur football club Hackney Wednesday, got their wish when the two-time manager w...
Read full storyLiverpool Title Bid Derailed As Premier League Considers Season Abandonment Due To Coronavirus
Black clouds were gathering over Anfield this morning, as news reached Merseyside that, due to the threat to public health posed by the Coronavirus, Premier League officials will meet on Monday afternoon with a view to abandoning the football season.
Read full storyManchester United's Harry Maguire Buys Custom-Made Captain's Armband Out Of His Own Money
It's a very big responsibility being the captain of any football team, and Manchester United central defender, Harry Maguire, set out as he meant to go on yesterday, after he found the captain's armband was not to his liking - he went out and bought...
Read full storyNightmare Coronavirus Succession Scenario Could See Meghan Crowned Queen
The Prince of Wales has tested positive for coronavirus, Clarence House has announced, resulting in a revised succession schedule that could see Prince Harry and Meghan Markle being crowned King and Queen, while living abroad in Canada. Prince Ch...
Read full storyIRS has local man puzzled
A Shreveport man is claiming that the Internal Revenue Service is sending him mixed signals regarding both his 2018 and 2019 tax returns. Tatty Mullett, 38, a broad-shouldered man with a back akin to a sturdy oak, relayed two conversations he had ha...
Read full storyBlackpool man speaks to wife for first time in years, thanks to coronavirus
After last week's news that the English Football Leauge has been suspended until April 3 at the earliest, due to the widespread coronavirus outbreak, Blackpool supporter Pommo Pomerenko was forced to speak to his wife of 15 years, Joan, for the first...
Read full storyEthiopia to hold benefit concert for Brits
Musicians in Ethiopia are coming together to hold a benefit concert on Wednesday, to raise money for people in the UK impacted upon by the coronavirus. The concert named “Now It's Your Turn", will be held on Wednesday at the Addis Ababa Stadium.
Read full storyCoronavirus 'Antidote' Found
Scientists in China working on finding a cure for the new and deadly Coronavirus have said they have already made a major discovery in their fight. They say that, as well as taking the regular precautions against a worldwide pandemic, people shoul...
Read full storyCristiano Ronaldo Puts In Transfer Request
The transfer deadline may have been reached last Friday, and the window slammed shut, but one man who has got a request in early for the next round of moves is the Juventus player, Cristiano Ronaldo. Ronaldo, 34, has scored a phenomenal amount of...
Read full storyConfused cat killed
A black cat called 'Mike', who successfully sued his former owner for not recognizing that he is in fact a white dog trapped inside the wrong body with the wrong-colored skin, has died. The lawsuit, which was filed last week in Fort Lauderdale, F...
Read full storyISIS suicide dog training camp raided
A camp reported to be conducting the training of puppies, to enable them to carry out suicide bombing missions, has been raided by allied Special Forces. The camp, located in Northern Afghanistan, is understood to have been wiped out, with dozens...
Read full storyAmericans arm themselves as Coronavirus panic spreads
Sales of automatic weapons and assault rifles have almost trebled overnight in some states, as Americans prepare themselves for an onslaught of disease, famine, and death. Forecasters have predicted that the virus will 'only get worse' , and is...
Read full storyEngland to close Scottish and Welsh borders
England will be closing its borders with Wales and Scotland to anyone who is not a citizen, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has announced. The new measure, to mitigate the spread of the coronavirus in England, also includes the Isle of Wight, The Cha...
Read full storyDyslexic man contracts new virus
A Hull man has been struck down with a new strain of coronavirus after working in Thailand. Tatty Mullett, 56 was stood nearby an 81-year-old carrier of the deadly SARS-like infection. Officials have confirmed the man caught the virus after his...
Read full storyManchester United Sign Several Players Late On Transfer Deadline Day
Manchester United flexed their not inconsiderable financial muscles last night, just minutes before the deadline on the transfer market window, securing the signatures of a host of footballing superstars, none of whom I have ever heard of. The fir...
Read full storyArmy ordered to shoot on sight greedy Brits
Furious Britons who have criticised selfish panic-buyers who are raiding supermarket shelves and leaving those most in need without food and essential supplies, have been heard by Prime Minister Boris Johnson, who announced sweeping laws to combat th...
Read full storyPrisons to release offenders early to prevent Coronavirus spread in US penal system
With prisons and jails in danger of becoming breeding grounds for the coronavirus, the White House has come up with a novel way of releasing criminals back into society earlier than their initial sentences demanded While not classed as parole, th...
Read full storyCoronavirus food shortages leads to Brits eating horse meat
Food shortages in the UK have led to supermarkets and butchers resorting to selling horse meat, as stockpiles of beef, pork and chicken are diminished by panic-buying Brits. Many shoppers are confessing that they actually enjoy the taste of horses...
Read full storyChina's Military Aspirations A Concern Says Wee Jimmy Krankie
China’s military capabilities are growing deadlier and more technologically sophisticated, says former cabaret and TV star, Wee Jimmy Krankie. China is likely training for bombing strikes against American targets, and also strengthening its nuclear c...
Read full storyFrench tourist guilty on 549 charges of rape and sexual assault
A French skunk has been found guilty on five hundred and forty-nine of six hundred possible counts: criminal sexual act in the first degree and rape in the third degree. He was found not guilty, though, of the most serious charges, of bestiality (two...
Read full storyUber Passenger Upset By Drivers Review
Duncan Whitehead, a 53-year-old author, businessman, and male model from Fort Lauderdale, was shocked and saddened Wednesday after receiving a sub-par rating and review from uber driver Jose Fernandez. The rating out of 5 given to Whitehead was 2, a...
Read full storyFrance at war against coronavirus
France will spend 45 billion euros to help prostitutes with the coronavirus outbreak, the country’s finance minister announced on Tuesday, after President Emmanuel Macron declared “we are at war” against the virus, and ordered citizens to remain home...
Read full storyManchester United's Harry Maguire Challenges Liverpool's Andy Robertson To A Snooker Match
They played in the same Premier League team in 2017, but central defender, Harry Maguire, and left-back, Andy Robertson, have gone up in the world since then, and the two friends are now star players for Manchester United and Liverpool, respectively.
Read full storyWriter sees sales soar thanks to coronavirus
English author, Duncan Whitehead, has reported that sales of his books in the USA have trebled overnight, as shoppers continue to panic-buy goods and food. However, the increase in sales appears to have had nothing to do with the stories themselv...
Read full storyManchester United: Defeat Against Norwich Will Be Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's Last Match
Manchester United go into a crucial match against bottom-of-the-table Norwich City at Old Trafford this afternoon, knowing that a defeat would almost certainly bring down the curtain on Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's managerial reign. After Wednesday's hu...
Read full storyKardashians Lose Keys To City Of Miami, Causing Chaos
Socialites, businesswomen, and models, Kim and Kourtney Kardashian, caused chaos yesterday, after misplacing the keys to Miami. The sisters were awarded the keys to the city in 2012, an honor bestowed upon them by the municipality after the sist...
Read full storyRedundancies At Travelling Circus As Virus Lockdown Hits Tourism
Citing a lack of visitors, spiralling food costs, and other financial issues due to the current global pandemic, Tatty Mullett's Travelling Circus and Freak Show announced they would be laying off nearly seventy members of staff, including clowns, f...
Read full storyThousands Naming Newborns After Virus
Thanks to the coronavirus, Corano has grabbed the No. 1 spot on Babynames.com list of most popular male baby names of 2020 so far. Sanitizrella was the most popular girl's name. "The overwhelming news saturation of the virus led to the popular...
Read full storySelf-Isolating 50-Year-Old Bachelor Reflects On Life
Self-isolating Blackpool bachelor, John Hunt, 50, is dwelling and reflecting on his past, according to reports emanating from the northern seaside town. Hunt, who lives alone, is nostalgically reflecting on happier times, such as when he was a membe...
Read full storyOverzealous UK Police Launch Operation Powertrip
Assistant Commissioner Neil Basu demanded that officers maintain the British tradition of 'policing by consent', despite launching 'Operation Powertrip', the plan that calls for the harassment of joggers and easter egg shoppers, and the random shooti...
Read full storyWords to the Wise: Top Ten Lockdown-Era Definitions You Need to Know NOW!
Granted, humans may have stopped evolving, but not language! Ever fluid, in this, the lockdown era, words and phrases have continued to morph and metastasize in ways that would have been nearly impossible to predict only months ago. Don’t be left...
Read full storyJohn Travolta Tests Negative For Coronavirus
After an initial scare on Friday, Hollywood superstar, John Travolta, has left hospital this morning, having completed a full series of tests for the Coronavirus. The results were all negative. Doctors said that he was suffering from a simple c...
Read full storyTrump Supporter From The Start, Says He's Not So Sure Anymore
A man who says he has supported Donald Trump from the very beginning of his political career, during his election, through the highs, lows, trials, tribulations and impeachment, and even his calamitous handling of the Coronavirus crisis, is now admit...
Read full storyCristiano Ronaldo Scores Seventh Hat-trick In As Many Games
Former Manchester United star, Cristiano Ronaldo, is tearing up the record books in Italy, where, on Sunday, he scored three goals in a match for the seventh consecutive game, Juventus losing 2-1 to Napoli. Last week, Juventus beat Roma 3-1 to to...
Read full storyTrump Denies French Claims That Coronavirus Was Present In France In November
Donald Trump has refured French scientists' claims that the Coronavirus, initially thought to have originated in China in January, or even December, was present in France as far back ago as November. Trump said that this would not fit in with his...
Read full storyManchester United: 10-Year-Old Fan Says His Dad Wrote Letter To Jürgen Klopp, Not Him
Daragh Curley, the 10-year-old Manchester United 'fan' who wrote a letter to Liverpool boss, Jürgen Klopp, asking him if he could fix it for the Anfield club to lose a few games so that they might not win the Premier League title, has revealed that i...
Read full storyOf Course Trump Can’t Wear A Mask
Place after place that Donald Trump has visited, he fails to wear a mask. Few people question, Why? Others silently mumble to one another and snicker to themselves. Silly, if Donald Trump were to wear a mask, just imagine what would happen to his...
Read full storyAfricans Glad They Don't Live In America
The coronavirus outbreak that has ravaged New York, Miami and other major US towns and cities, has many Africans feeling very glad they do not live in America. “I am glad I live in Lagos and not in New York or one of its surrounding boroughs and...
Read full storyLiverpool Want Harry Maguire In Summer After Watford Defensive Disaster
Rumours emanating from Anfield this morning are that Liverpool will seek to strengthen their defence in the summer, after their present back four was 'taken to the cleaners' in yesterday's 3-0 defeat at Watford. They will be making a serious £100m...
Read full storyDon Lemon to Brett Kavanaugh: When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.
Brett Kavanaugh, Associate Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court, appears to have finally learned his lesson from the MeToo Movement. In an interview ostensibly about the constitutional ramifications of Covid19 and the growing concern about the erosi...
Read full storyManchester United: Old Trafford Empty At Final Whistle
Manchester United boss, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, will face further pressure on his position in the morning, after his lacklustre side caved-in and lost at home to Burnley tonight, with the fans showing their total disgust about the performance by walkin...
Read full storyIntelligence quotient level at London Brexit celebration expected to mirror 1960s chimp's tea party
A recent survey carried out by Swansea University has found that the average level of intelligence per attendee at the forthcoming Brexit celebratory gathering in Parliament Square on January 31st will be roughly on a par with that of one of the chim...
Read full storyPresident Trump Says Hydroxychloroquine Is That Stuff They Put In Toothpaste
In the relentless battle being fought to discover a cure for the deadly Coronavirus, COVID-19, President Donald Trump has confirmed that Hydroxychloroquine (HCQ) is perfectly safe, as it is already a main constituent of most major brands of toothpast...
Read full storyIrish Americans to toast St Patricks Day by celebrating terrorism
Irish Americans will once again celebrate St Patrick's Day, dressed in green, claiming to 'have a Great Great Grandfather, who knew a guy from Ireland', and insult true Irish people everywhere by downing 'Irish Car Bomb' drinks, totally unaware and o...
Read full storyManchester United: Tranmere FA Cup Trip Will Be The End For Solskjaer
Tranmere Rovers, who were playing non-League football as recently as , overcame Premier League Watford in their FA Cup fourth-round replay last night, and now have the chance to bring the curtain down on Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's chequered managerial ca...
Read full storyManchester United Boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer Takes Responsibility For Piss Poor Show At Wolves
Manchester United boss, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, was quick to accept responsibility for his team's poor showing in their FA Cup 3rd-round tie against Wolverhampton Wanderers at Molineux yesterday, the match ending 0-0, with United failing to register a...
Read full storyManchester United Captain Harry Maguire To Turn Out For Local Sunday League Team On Sunday Morning
Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, is in hot water with team coach, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, this morning, after he let it be known that he plans to turn out for a local Sunday League team at the weekend. Maguire, 26, incurred the Norwegian's...
Read full storyManchester United Want To Play Manchester City At The Etihad Every Week
They may be having a poor campaign by their own high standards, but Manchester United's season hasn't been a total loss - they've managed to beat their city rivals, Manchester City, twice at the Etihad Stadium, and would really like to play the same...
Read full storyFlouting Shelter in Place Order, Nashville Man Takes Stand for Constitutional Rights by Leaving House to Check Mail
Refusing to be deprived of his Constitutional right to liberty, to peaceably assemble, and to practice the religion he describes as naturalism, Mitch Walden of Nashville, Tennessee, unabashedly flouted the Tennessee governor’s COVID-19 shelter in pla...
Read full storyLiverpool Out To Get Manchester United Boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer The Sack
It's one of the biggest rivalries in football, and when Liverpool take on Manchester United at Anfield on Sunday, the hosts will be putting in an extra special effort to put United to the sword, by trouncing them and getting their Norwegian boss, Ole...
Read full storyManchester United In Call For Season To End Early Due To 'Coronavirus Worry'
Sensational news coming out of Old Trafford this morning, after it was revealed that Manchester United players have told the club they are anxious for their match against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge on 17 February to be called off due to worries over...
Read full storyFamily Game Of Monopoly Ends In Murder Suicide
A man shot and killed his wife and three other family members in Florida, before turning the gun on himself, according to a report in the Fort Lauderdale Times. The apparent murder-suicide happened on Sunday afternoon, whilst the family were in fo...
Read full storyLiverpool: Are The Wheels Coming Off?
They might remain unbeaten in the Premier League this season, but, after barely surviving a nervous last half-hour at Shrewsbury Town yesterday, some football pundits are asking "have Liverpool finally cracked?" The 4th-round tie at Gay Meadow aga...
Read full storyLiverpool: Jürgen Klopp Says "It's Too Early To Think About Titles"
Liverpool may be 25 points ahead of their closest rivals in the race to win their first top-tier title in 30 years, but their manager, Jürgen Klopp, is taking nothing for granted, and says it is far too early to be thinking of such things. Liverpo...
Read full storyRonaldo In Coronavirus Scare
There was widespread pandemonium in both Italy and Portugal this afternoon, after it was announced that footballer, Cristiano Ronaldo, had been involved in a scare in relation to the deadly Coronavirus currently sweeping the globe. Ronaldo, 35, ha...
Read full storyTrump Orders Incarceration of All Iranians in U. S.
Mar-a-Lago, Florida. Woof Blister reporting for SIN, Spoof International News. In a terse tweet, issued in the wee, small hours of the morning, Monday, President Donald Trump directed Homeland Security agents to apprehend and incarcerate all Iranians...
Read full storyBible Stories Explained: The Feeding Of The 5,000
The Bible is an interesting book. Many people have read it, all over the world. But, as well as being interesting and widely-read, it can also be a difficult read, and much of its content often needs much further explanation before one can understand...
Read full storyManchester United And Liverpool To Play In Face Masks And Surgical Gowns
There has been a dramatic announcement from the Premier League this morning, that, in light of the current risk to public health, both Liverpool and Manchester United will undergo an unexpected 'kit change', and will play their remaining fixtures thi...
Read full storyHull Man Thinking of Just Starting Over Again In Grimsby
After this week's freezing weather and rain began to get to him, Hull resident, Scott Galloway, confirmed, on Thursday, that he is seriously considering packing it all up, and moving somewhere different, like Grimsby. “I hate the winters here, th...
Read full storyHealthiest Man In The World Dies Of Coronavirus
The officially healthiest man in the world, Chris. P. Bacon, has died after having tested positive for the coronavirus COVID-19. Chris was admitted to hospital at 11.30 this morning, with three gunshot wounds to the chest, but died shortly after bein...
Read full storyManchester United Captain Harry Maguire Seen Mincing In Arndale Centre
Excited and amazed shoppers stood and gawped in the Manchester Arndale Centre last Saturday afternoon, as the Manchester United and England central defender, Harry Maguire - ostensibly on a shopping trip - passed amongst them executing a perfect minc...
Read full storyTop Premier League Clubs To Be Forced To Buy Quota Of 'Players That Aren't Very Good' Next Season
Manchester United, and last season's Premier League champions, Manchester City, head a list of top clubs who, in a bid to bring parity to the game, will be forced to buy new players from a pool of hoofers and has-beens from the lower leagues. Live...
Read full storyManchester United Boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer Wants To Be Kept On 'In Some Capacity'
Beleaguered Manchester United boss, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, knows it is just a matter of time before he loses his job at the club, but says he loves being around Old Trafford, and would appreciate being kept on "in some capacity". The Norwegian, 46,...
Read full storyManchester United: Ole Gunnar Solskjaer Concedes His Team Cannot Win PL Title
Manchester United manager, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, has spoken to reporters about the disappointment he experienced this morning, when he went downstairs to make his breakfast, picked up a newspaper to read the football pages, and realised that his team...
Read full storyWheelie Bin Can Levitate
A couple from Portsmouth have said they have photographic evidence that their neighbours' wheelie bin is possessed by spirits - possibly evil - and is able to levitate above the footpath. Wally and Madge Crapper have seen the grey bin, which is em...
Read full storyManchester United's Harry Maguire Victim Of Anonymous Prank After Someone Shits In His Football Boots
An investigation is underway at Old Trafford this evening, after it was found that Manchester United and England central defender, Harry Maguire, had become the unwitting victim of a senseless and evil prank, and that some filthy animal had taken a s...
Read full storyFlybe To Offer New Service To Oblivion
Troubled UK airline, Flybe, in the midst of financial catastrophe, has, this morning, announced plans to offer passengers a new service with flights to an increasingly popular destination - Oblivion. The airline has crippling debts, and cannot loo...
Read full storyPurdue Pharma Recommends Oxycontin for Treating Coronavirus Self-Quarantine Symptoms
While there is currently no known cure for COVID-19 itself, Purdue Pharma, the maker of the opioid drug Oxycontin, issued a statement recommending Oxycontin for off-label use in treating the symptoms of coronavirus self-quarantine – which may include...
Read full storyMovie Buff Despondent After Finding Out Jake Gyllenhaal Is A Jew
Movie buff and racist, Chris Patterson, 45, of Newark, NJ, was crestfallen, Thursday, after discovering that one of his favorite actors is Jewish. “I am so disappointed; it is heartbreaking to discover that an actor whose body of work I really adm...
Read full storyMan Tried To Get Three Cups Of Tea Out Of The Same Tea Bag - With Disastrous Results!
A man who is quickly exhausting his supply of tea bags due to his increased consumption during the Coronavirus lockdown, has revealed how an attempt at economizing, by re-using the bags a second, or, even, third time, went disastrously wrong at the w...
Read full storyVictor's Railroad to Hell
THE world’s dumbest train driver has got lost for the last time. Victor Wayakeya, who had been found wandering from his train looking at dirt tracks on four previous occasions, left his passengers stranded by a field in Omaha when he lost his bear...
Read full storyBored Tesla AI Assaults Driver
(Albuquerque, NM) A Tesla Model S owned by Lalo Salamanca, resident of the sprawling metropolitan area around Albuquerque, New Mexico, is the latest owner of a vehicle from that manufacturer to report extremely unusual behavior that borders on downri...
Read full storyManchester United: 'King' Eric Cantona To Take Over At Old Trafford
As reported in these pages earlier in the week, Manchester United have, this morning, agreed terms with their former star player, Eric Cantona, to take over the management of the club from Ole Gunnar Solskjaer with immediate effect. Cantona, 53, w...
Read full storyPresident Trump's Speeches To Be Accompanied By Canned Laughter In TV News Reports
The use of recorded or 'canned' laughter, often employed to encourage studio audience participation, is to be introduced into television news reports that cover the speeches of US president, Donald Trump, it has been revealed. With so much of the...
Read full storyCDC Officials: Staying Home and Posting Toilet Paper Memes on Facebook is Still a Safe Activity
Washington - Health Officials in the Trump administration and the Centers for Disease Control confirmed on Friday that it is not a high-risk activity for seniors, and others at risk from the Coronavirus contagion, to just stay sheltered in their hom...
Read full storyDr. Dre To Re-release Classic Album
Well-known rap starlet, Dr. Dre, is to re-release his 1992 solo debut studio album, 'The Chronic', in April, albeit with a subtle, and topical, namechange - 'The Coronic'. Too bad no stores will be open. Fans will, however, be able to order the...
Read full storyIt’s beginning to look a lot like Wuhan
It's beginning to look a lot like Wuhan Everywhere you go; Take a look in the state pen They’re dying once again With ovens and crematoriums aglow. It's beginning to look a lot like Wuhan No food in any store But the prettiest sight to see is...
Read full storyNew York Man Realizes He Has No Potential
“I always felt bad about myself for not realizing my full potential,” said Calvin Doyle of Brooklyn, New York. “But then I realized that I probably had – there just wasn’t much to realize. Hardly anything, in fact.” According to Doyle, the realiza...
Read full storyThrough Unflinching Honesty and Vulnerability, Nashville Man Scores Girlfriend’s Permission for Licit Polyamory with Threesome Potential
In a dating tour de force, after being contacted out of the blue by an attractive older woman he’d always had a thing for but had never succeeded in enticing into the sack, 37-year-old Clem Lyons of Nashville, Tennessee, scored the permission of the...
Read full storyPancake Day Latest: Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Is Going Round To His Mum's House Later
Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England central defender who cost United £80million when he joined them last summer, has confirmed he will be going round to his mum's house on Tuesday, for a special Pancake Day treat. According to Maguire...
Read full storyJose Mourinho Admits Tottenham Hotspur Are A One-Man Team
Jose Mourinho, the Tottenham Hotspur boss is no stranger to controversy, making tidal waves of drama with every word he utters, but few can have been more forthright than his statement yesterday, that, without Harry Kane, Spurs are nothing, and a bit...
Read full storyGugu announces rat killing wireless utility power at CES
Lost Vegas, Nervana - Today at the Consumed Electrocuted Schtick (CES) conference, on the strip, startup Gugu (trying to leapfrog off the Googoo name?) showed a very impressive wireless charging system based on military millimeter wave (MMwave) techn...
Read full storyTrump to withhold millions of dollars in funding to White House Occupant (WHO).
President Donald Trump announced recently that he is halting funding to the White House Occupant (WHO) while his administration reviews the handling of the coronavirus, accusing the WHO of bungling the response and failing to communicate the disease’...
Read full storyManchester United: Captain Harry Maguire Says Club Bruges Spelling Is Ridiculous
Manchester United go into their Europa League last-32 second-leg game against Club Bruges at Old Trafford tonight, with a slight advantage, after their 1-1 draw in Belgium last week gave them an important away goal, but the big news is that the Red D...
Read full storyManchester United Captain Harry Maguire Says He Hates TheSpoof.com
As the number of negative 'online' incidents involving football players continues to rise, Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, has given his backing to those who feel they no longer wish to use social media, and have deleted their accounts, say...
Read full storyThe Queen To Take Over From Ray Winstone As New Face Of Bet365
In an effort to shake off her royal shackles, and to 'get real' in the world of work, Buckingham Palace has announced that Her Majesty the Queen has been offered a position in advertising, and will take over the role presently occupied by former acto...
Read full storyHarry And Meghan To Do Promotional Work For H&M
Stressed-out royal couple, Prince Harry and his wife Meghan, have announced that, as part of their first foray into the world of work since stepping back from their monarchical duties, they will be signing contracts to do promotional work with clothi...
Read full storyBoris Johnson admits gargling with formaldehyde
In an astounding double take, Boris Johnson has admitted gargling with formaldehyde in an attempt to keep up with Donald Trump. When asked, outside number 10 this morning, Mr Johnson replied; "It was on sound advice, from Donald, that I give it a...
Read full storyLara Croft's Tits Bigger Than Before
A man who often notices these kinds of things, has noticed that animated game character, Lara Croft, is 'bigger in the bosom' than she used to be - or so it seems. Lara, who stars in new game 'Relic Run', and used to be in 'Tomb Raider', can be se...
Read full storyResidents of A Senior Citizens Home in Nebraska Are Passing the Time by Playing Twister
BROKEN BOW, Nebraska - Flossie Wunderwurst, the director of The Napping Nightingale Senior Citizens Home, which houses 603 older men and women, states that, everyone in the entire home is doing well and are in a happy mood, considering. The long-...
Read full storyLiverpool FC: Mathematicians To Calculate When Reds Can Be Crowned Champions
It's only the first week in February, but already there have been calls for the Premier League title to be handed to Liverpool, after the Reds beat Southampton 4-0 at Anfield yesterday, to move 22 points clear of their nearest rivals. Unsure of th...
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