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Showing stories about: Denmark, Depression, Donald Trump, Global Warming, greenland, Hurricane, Jeffrey Epstein, Nashville, Politics, Sex, Slim Everdingle, work

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Funny story: Humberto Headed to Alabama Says Donald Trump!

Humberto Headed to Alabama Says Donald Trump!

Donald Trump, sharpie in hand, made some bold predictions today about Tropical Storm Humberto. Shouldered by two new "official" White House meteorologists, Trump placed a map on a tripod and began drawing with his sharpie. He created several rings fr...

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Funny story: Williamson-Bashing Reveals Neocon Core of Not-So-Sweet "News" Source The Onion

Williamson-Bashing Reveals Neocon Core of Not-So-Sweet "News" Source The Onion

In a reactionary swing toward neoconservativism, satirical "news" outlet The Onion mocked the positivity of Democratic presidential vier Marianne Williamson, revealing that that beneath its chuckle-ready foreskin, The Onion may not be so sweet. "...

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Funny story: Donald Trump Buys Greenland So That He Can Be King Of Something.

Donald Trump Buys Greenland So That He Can Be King Of Something.

President Extraordinaire, Donald Trump, has bought the entire island of Greenland from the Danish government. At first, the Danes were not happy at parting with a vast piece of property roughly 50 times the size of their own native homeland of Denm...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Unsuccessfully Tries to Gentrify Himself

Nashville Man Unsuccessfully Tries to Gentrify Himself

Witnessing the sharp appreciation of real estate in his formerly sketchy East Nashville neighborhood, Ward Paisley attempted to put the process of gentrification to work for himself, but with little success. "I encountered a lot of local resistanc...

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Funny story: Donald Trump Releases His Highlight Reel and Requires all His Followers to Buy it and Watch it Daily

Donald Trump Releases His Highlight Reel and Requires all His Followers to Buy it and Watch it Daily

A new object in every Republican's DVD player will be the President's new highlight reel, released in a huge ceremony on Thursday. President Trump is explaining to his followers that if they don't buy the DVD, then they are just aiding the enemy.

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Funny story: Trump Has Deployed Troops To Hotels and Golf Courses All Over the World in Latest Emergency

Trump Has Deployed Troops To Hotels and Golf Courses All Over the World in Latest Emergency

Mir-A-Lago, FL President Trump announced in a tweet early Thursday morning that he would be deploying troops to various spots around the world due to a top-secret emergency. Some of the locations include Mumbai, India, Rio de Janeiro in Brazil, M...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Finds Asking About People's Babies Highly Effective Way of Procrastinating at Work

Nashville Man Finds Asking About People's Babies Highly Effective Way of Procrastinating at Work

Curtis Johnson, a 27-year-old professional who prides himself on working smart but definitely not hard, stumbled upon a highly effective means of procrastinating at work when, a little while before a big department meeting at which Curtis was expecte...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Decides "Nuance" His Favorite Word

Nashville Man Decides "Nuance" His Favorite Word

Accused in his youth of possessing all the tact of a bull in a china shop, now-polished Nashville native Kenneth Skye has adopted nuance as a way of life - and his favorite word. "It's classy and sort of French-sounding without all the hype," said...

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Funny story: Customer Finds Just What She's Looking For To Get Rid Of Grandad's Spunk Stain

Customer Finds Just What She's Looking For To Get Rid Of Grandad's Spunk Stain

A Weston-super-Mare woman searching for a particular kind of cleaning product for her bathroom was surprised and overjoyed to discover it lurking on the shelves in a local store, this morning. Sally Butterfield had had her grandparents over to sta...

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Funny story: United States to Annex State of Anxiety

United States to Annex State of Anxiety

Not to be deterred by his failed bid to purchase Greenland, United States President, Donald Trump, recently announced that the nation will be annexing the 51st state - specifically, the state of Anxiety. "Rich in natural resources like indigenous...

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Funny story: Toothless Yak Gums Food For Edentulous Granny

Toothless Yak Gums Food For Edentulous Granny

BILLINGSGATE POST: Praise the Lord! It’s rare that such a heartwarming story surfaces in a world bereft of humanity. This was a match made in heaven. Granny Lizzie Kocolochek, who lived a life of quiet desperation, lost all of her teeth by the...

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Funny story: Map of Hurricane Dorian Shows Trump Abuse of Power

Map of Hurricane Dorian Shows Trump Abuse of Power

WASHINGTON DC - Democrats are certain that they now have the evidence to impeach President Trump, because of the NOAA weather map of Hurricane Dorian from August 29th. Every meteorologist and a former Canadian Prime Minister had 100% certainty that a...

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Funny story: Demand For Sharpies Soar After Trump Uses One to Move a Hurricane--Ticonderoga To Enter Market Also

Demand For Sharpies Soar After Trump Uses One to Move a Hurricane--Ticonderoga To Enter Market Also

Meteorologists, insurance executives, military officials, and first responders around the world are frantically purchasing Sharpies pens by the crate. Apparently, the arms race for Sharpies has been triggered by President Trump, when he used one to...

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Funny story: Satan Objects to Being Demonized by Catholic Church

Satan Objects to Being Demonized by Catholic Church

"I may not have the greatest reputation," said Satan, "but when my name is mentioned, do you immediately think 'pedophilia'? Of course not! And to think the Catholic Church is trying to demonize me." Hurt by its fateful decision to limit the Trini...

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Funny story: Alabama Gets Emergency Hurricane Funding

Alabama Gets Emergency Hurricane Funding

Montgomery, AL - Weeks after suffering the ills of Hurricane Dorian, the Governor of the State of Alabama asked for emergency funding to help it rebuild. In an emotional interview on 60 minutes, GOP Governor Kay Ivey could uttered only one word. "...

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Funny story: Trump Promises Border Wall, Democrats Promise to Remove Wall--Unemployment Permanently Ended

Trump Promises Border Wall, Democrats Promise to Remove Wall--Unemployment Permanently Ended

In a rare moment of bi-partisanship, Republicans and Democrats are united and their new found unity will have major implications for immigration policy and the U.S. labor market. According to Shiv Aalok, White House Minister of Truth, Democrat House...

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Funny story: International Peace Marathon in Washington DC to feature participation of National Security Adviser as IRAN.

International Peace Marathon in Washington DC to feature participation of National Security Adviser as IRAN.

National Security Adviser John Bolton dropped a bombshell in the White House War Room, when he declared that he had an Epiphany that lasted several hours through a sleep-deprived night. “I’ve been itching to drop a bombshell on you-know-whom in t...

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Funny story: Trump Promises to Be the Eye of Present and Future Hurricanes

Trump Promises to Be the Eye of Present and Future Hurricanes

Pledging to help Americans and even Puerto Ricans remain calm in the face of the severe storms that are more and more frequently battering the United States for no particular reason, President Donald Trump promised to be the "eye" of present and futu...

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Funny story: Donald reflects

Donald reflects

"Danes are jerks", mused Donald Trump philosophically, reflecting on his recent rebuff from Mette Frederiksen, Prime Minister of Denmark, following his bid to acquire Greenland. "I'd 've built 15 golf courses by Christmas, a gold mine, I'm tellin'...

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Funny story: Introvert Debates Getting Hit by Bus to Avoid Convo with Coworker

Introvert Debates Getting Hit by Bus to Avoid Convo with Coworker

Angela Bishop, an introvert living in Nashville, Tennessee, was disconcerted to realize that she'd exited her work building at noon right behind her coworker Matt Moffat, and, unless she darted across the street just ahead of the city bus now bearing...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Finds Steely Resolve at Junkyard

Nashville Man Finds Steely Resolve at Junkyard

Finding that his personal discipline had grown a bit rusty, Randall Freeman of Nashville, Tennessee, popped down to the local junkyard, where he managed to negotiate a great deal on some discarded but fully workable steely resolve. “It’s actually...

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Funny story: Trump is Controlling Hurricane Dorian by Twitter Feed

Trump is Controlling Hurricane Dorian by Twitter Feed

Somewhere in Virginia, President Trump once again proved his power, as he informed the nation that he was keeping Hurricane Dorian under control via his executive powers and Twitter feed while golfing in Virginia. "I, the Chosen One, am doing my b...

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