Daily newspaper puts future-of-the-country newsflash ABOVE story about breasts
In a ground breaking move, a well known British red-top has splashed an objective, well researched story about Britain's current political state across it's front page, before a story about almost seeing a B list-er's nipple on the red carpet for som...
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Sodden Carnival makes Notting Hill Revellers proud to be British
Sunday's wash out on the streets of Notting Hill brought the true spirit of Being British out in full force. A man dressed in a bin bag told us, "It's what it's all about, innit? Carnival's not all about colour, music, celebration and creativity. We...
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"Absolutely everything is OK" declares May.
In a follow up to her enthusiasm about a No Deal Brexit being A-OK-not-a-problem, Theresa May has issued a reassuring statement relating to absolutely anything which may crop up, informing the British public, "it'll probably be fine". This follows...
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Katie Hopkins' rabies nightmare
Professional troll Katie Hopkins has revealed that she suffers from recurring nightmares about rabies. She has had the disturbing dreams for years, but cannot remember when they started. In her monthly column for the Daily Shitstirrer, she moaned abo...
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Perth Australia voted the world's most miserable city
Chuckle Brothers were in C'thulhu cult
Northern Ireland border to be controlled by invisible leprechauns!
Infestation of Rees-Moggs to be fumigated
Ben Stoker Cricket Attack In Detail
Heatwave Puts UK Children at Risk
Jews Confirm Anti-Semites Are Anyone Calling Them Jews
Trump security man 'shot Royal Corgi' during meeting with Queen
Boris Blasts Off
Charles Bronson Wows at Edinburgh Fringe Festival
Danielle Lloyd's Secret Wedding Location Revealed
Football Returns After Never Even Stopping
Geoffroy is the number one name for boys - and girls - in the UK
The most popular list of boys and girls names for children born in the UK has been revealed, and it is no surprise that Geoffroy takes first place for boys yet again. What is surprising is that it now tops the girls' list as well. The top ten boys...
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BBC's Great British Menu in Hot Water Over Controversial NHS Menu
One of the BBC's longest running and much loved cookery shows 'Great British Menu' - has been plunged like a pus-covered scalpel - into hot water. The theme of this year's competition, Seventy Years of the NHS has challenged twenty four of the UK's...
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May's African trip causes mass deaths
At least 39 people are now confirmed dead in what is the worst outbreak of embarrassment in Britain since Nigel Farage gloated about winning the Brexit vote. Prime Minister Theresa May has been in Kenya this week, the first UK PM to visit the country...
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Corbyn slammed for not mocking woman who can't dance
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn is facing fierce criticism from across the political spectrum for his failure to make fun of Theresa May's lack of prowess on the dance floor. Corbyn has been noticeably quiet in the controversy which has seen May make...
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Breaking news…
Trump Now Also President of Egypt
President Donald Trump now claims to be part Egyptian after a new mummy was uncovered. Noted the President, "Look! It's old, wrinkly, shriveled, and orange! Just like me!"
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Seven day catch up
Check out anything you've missed with the archive:
Woman completes life by getting a boyfriend.
Former freelance musician, Leona Warwick, 28, has finally decided to stop being half a person, and complete her life by getting a boyfriend. "After I left university, I travelled a lot, worked hard to pursue my dreams, and was earning a living doi...
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The Lun Dun mayor: he wore an itsby-bitsy, teeny-weeny yellow bikini
Lun Dun, Eng Lund—Lun Duners, like other Britz, hate their mayor, Sad Ick Khan (no relation, as far as anyone knows, to either Genghis or Kubla), and, to show it, they took up a collection to protest his existence. More than 16 million people (twi...
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Bozo Trots Out Usual Bollocks In Vain Attempt to be Relevant
The Daily Telegraph was once a serious newspaper but is now reduced to having a front page spread featuring a serial liar and idiot. Monday's edition had emblazoned upon it Bozo Johnson's self-satisfied face as he once again trotted out his usual gu...
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Elon Musk Thinks You're A Paedophile, Probably
Tesla, Spacex, Neuralink and Paypal founder, architect, chief executive, cowboy executive, indian executive, producer, director, judge, jury and executioner Elon Musk has gone back on the offensive against a man whom he believes, for a reason he has...
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Bozo Johnson to Get Divorced After Stormy Daniels Affair
Failed ex-foreign secretary Bozo Johnson and his wife Marina Wheeler have confirmed they have separated after newspaper allegations of Mr Johnson having had another extra-marital affair, this time with American porn star Stormy Daniels. In a joint...
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Operation YellowHammer waiting in the Brexit wings
Secret plans to cut public spending and increase the suffocating grip of austerity round the throat of the UK were leaked today. The plans codenamed “Operation Yellowhammer” will come into force if Britain leaves the EU with a “no deal” agreement. Th...
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Boris the Brat swipes again!
Now the Conservative party is ripping itself apart over Brexit, criticism of Boris the Brat is reaching seismic proportions. And yet: criticising Johnson is like treading water in the Dead Sea. Whatever way you do it, you can't fail. But you don't ge...
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Russian Suspects Now Innocent After Thoroughly Convincing Interview
The two men accused by Britain of carrying out the nerve agent attack in Salisbury have given a searingly honest interview which completely admonishes them from all blame entirely. Alexander Petrov and Ruslan Boshirov denied they were State Agents...
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Latest Spoof UK Headlines
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Corbyn's Anti-Semitism Row Explodes Again!
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Man's Stag Night Was "Unconventional"
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Archaeological Bombshell: Ginger Rogers played the accordion at The Last Supper claim theologians
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Teletubbies Gardener Sacked
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Jews Confirm Anti-Semites Are Anyone Calling Them Jews
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Heaven to have a privatised service
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Man with Machete Holds Up Ice Cream Van
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Rappers will Become Extinct Within 3 Years
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Trump security man 'shot Royal Corgi' during meeting with Queen
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Norwich Man Charged With Walking Pig Without a Lead
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Royal Family Will Throw Huge Party for Queen for Making it Through Trump Visit
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Heatwave Puts UK Children at Risk
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Charles Bronson Wows at Edinburgh Fringe Festival
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Football Returns After Never Even Stopping
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Failing London Cardiac Unit Cites "Dark Forces" in Place
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Briton arrives home after crawling around the world
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Ben Stoker Cricket Attack In Detail
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Boris Blasts Off
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Infestation of Rees-Moggs to be fumigated
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Danielle Lloyd's Secret Wedding Location Revealed
