Brexit Latest: Britain Stocks Up on Gruel
According to reports, Britain's supermarkets are stockpiling supplies of gruel in anticipation of a spike in demand for the thin, watery, flour-based product, if, as expected, Britain leaves the European Union on October 31. Many experts predict t...
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LGBT+ School To Open In Autumn
Authorities in Birmingham have announced details of a new ultramodern school facility that will open in the city in September, which will cater specifically, and exclusively for the needs of LGBT+ students. The school, which has been built at a co...
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Facebook man gradually developing murderous hatred towards 'thread stalker'
A 43-year-old man from Brighton in Sussex has told a local newspaper that he is slowly developing such an intense dislike for a man on his friends list who makes inane comments on his every post, that he now feels comfortable with the idea of murderi...
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TV License Attack
Over 11,000 people over the age of 100 will be stripped of their free TV licenses under a Tory government, in what seems like another instalment in the magic ritual to resurrect their blood God. Pensioners everywhere have said how much of an effect i...
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Scared: Your Kids
A study by the group Action For Children has found that children as young as 11 have admitted to being terrified about terrorism, homelessness and what’s going to happen after Brexit. This is odd, because kids are normally only concerned about themse...
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Three Daft Things About Jeremy Hunt
London, UK - (Rioters): Prime Ministerial contender Jeremy Hunt has been grilled by Spoof website reporters about being the next gaffer after Theresa May. The wide-ranging rant kicked off with his wet dream of a new turd runway at Heathrow Airport...
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Worker Disturbed to Glimpse Male Colleague's Inappropriate Use of Office Computer
Universal credit scam discovered, as thousands of benefits claimants willingly hand over their money to fraudsters
'Stand-offish' Meghan refuses to allow newsmen to listen while she goes to the bathroom
Boris Calls For Return of Public Hanging
Man with broom in supermarket trolley kills nine
I'll stop bodies falling from aircraft over Britain with my big face says Olly Murs
Mr. Miyagi from "Karate Kid" film is appointed new Brexit adviser
Labour Party denies that Jeremy Corbyn is losing his, err, memory
Harry Potter Banned from School
Dalai Lama admits he's a “sexist pig”
LibDem MEPs get dermatitis from itching powder on bollocks t-shirts
Woman singing in holiday market 'a complete twat', judges local man
The Grapes Contain Wrath
The UK is rocking as yet another national crisis strangles its people in its vice-like grip. A study has found that 1 in 5 food products contained ingredients that were not named on the packaging. Predictably, Brexiteers have quickly moved to pin...
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Grannies knit a tea-cosy for Britain
Ladies across the UK are toiling like crazy to knit a giant tea-cosy to cover the whole country. The enormous knitwear is intended to protect Britain in the event of a no-deal Brexit. Women's Institute spokeswoman Menstrua Geoffcock explained, "Th...
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Bozo Johnson Concedes in Tory Leadership Race Citing "Back Problem"
The favourite to become Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, has removed himself from the Conservative party leadership contest after coming under mounting pressure following Sir Kim Darroch's resignation as British ambassador to Washington. Critics of Mr...
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Sir Kim Darroch Falls On His Sword, And Will Not Be Available For Tiffin
The UK ambassador to the United States, Sir Kim Darroch, who attracted some rather negative criticism from the White House, and President Donald Trump in particular earlier today, has fallen on his sword. Darroch's leaked memo to Prime Minister Th...
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Battersea Power Station to be pushed over onto its side says government
It was announced, earlier today, that Battersea Power Station in South London will be pushed over onto its side due to the government's increasing frustration that various attempts to convert the now-defunct plant into a going concern have failed.
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Meghan under fire over Jeremy Corbyn chest tattoo
There was widespread concern in royal circles last night after the Duchess of Sussex told The Mail On Sunday that she'd had a likeness of leftie Labour Party leader, Jeremy Corbyn, tattooed on her chest. In yesterday's edition, she revealed: "I've...
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Survey reveals staff and pupils at London school have all seen each other's genitals online
It was revealed yesterday, that all the staff and pupils at a secondary school in Shoreditch, East London, have at one time or other, seen each other’s genitalia on various social media platforms such as Snapchat and WhatsApp. The school newspaper...
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Queen summons army to quell rebellious Scots
Her Majesty the Queen was at the head of a five thousand-strong army marching to the Scottish border last night. The Queen has grown weary of Scottish dissent and repeated calls for independence from the United Kingdom, and will attempt to quell t...
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Prince Harry Says He'll Have Nanny Smack Archie's Bottom If He Does It Again
There was a right, royal rumpus in the Royal roost this morning when Archie Windsor, newly-christened son of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, started playing up fuck at breakfast, causing his mum and dad to get into a right strop with him. Archie,...
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Gibraltar to be rebuilt on Olly Murs' big face in the event of a disorderly Brexit say Foreign Office
The island of Gibraltar will be abandoned to the Spanish and rebuilt on the big face of British pop icon, Olly Murs, in the event of a no-deal Brexit, it has been revealed. A Foreign Ofice spokesman told newsmen last night: "If we leave the EU wit...
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Sir Kim Darroch: “I told BoZo to Fuck Off”
“Yes, I must admit I did it that” confessed Sir Kim Darroch, former HMG ambassador to the United States court of King Trump in an exclusive interview with political editor for The Spoof, Paxton Quigley. “So you actually told future prime minister...
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Meghan And Harry's Baby, Archie, Says He Won't Attend Christening Service
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Prince Harry and his wife Meghan, have a problem: their son Archie has said he refuses to be christened with the name 'Archie', and will not attend his own christening later today. The royal couple had planned to ha...
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Man Wants To Know If Saying Nice Things About LGBT+ Will Help Him Get Ahead
A man who instinctively feels that there is something 'not quite right' about the LGBT+ movement and its members, wants to know if it would benefit him in any way, should he show some 'fake support' for the movement. The man, who, to protect his a...
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Empty chair favourite to be new PM
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Tory Leadership Race To Be Decided In Strictly Come Dancing Dance-off
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Boris Johnson Has Fucking Big Row With Girlfriend
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Dogs To Be Trained To Pick Up Their Own Turds
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Boris The Dodger
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Juvenile Newsreader looking forward to saying Johnson and Trump a lot on TV
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Postcode lottery winners announced
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Funny Money
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British Descendants of Exiled Revolutionary War Loyalists Demand Reparations from U. S.
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Tory leadership candidate drops his pants during debate
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Crack Cocaine Worth 75p Seized In Drugs Haul
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Car Boot Sale Shut Down After Concerns Over The Quality Of Goods On Sale
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Tories unsure about benchmarks
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Dogwalker Jailed For Failing To Pick Up Dog Shit
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Kate Middleton Thinks Roger Federer Is A Bit Dishy
