Scotland BSE Outbreak, Tories Suffering Too
Following the recent announcement that BSE has broken out in Scotland again, the Royal College of Veterinary Surgeons has confirmed what many in the country have been thinking for several years, that members of the so-called Conservative and Unionist...Read full story
Every Month Now A Public Awareness Campaign
As a new month begins, another awareness campaign accompanies it by wackily incorporating itself into the month's name. Formerly known as 'November', the eleventh month is now forever 'Movember', raising awareness for Liverpool forward Mo Salah an...Read full story
Ballsy Brit survives nude swim round Great Britain
Disoriented and confused, 33-year-old Ross Edgy was found off the coast of Scotland (or maybe it was Wales), having swum in circles for 12 days. I left Kent, or maybe it was Limerick, on—well, it was sometime this year, I think—bound for France—or...Read full story
American migrants in caravan sue Hernandez and his administration, alleging 'abuse' of 'constitutional rights'
A dozen homeless migrants traveling by foot from America to Honduras to seek asylum filed a class-action lawsuit Thursday against President Juan Orlando Hernandez, the National Congress of Honduras and others, claiming a violation of their freedoms u...Read full story
Teresa May on Brexit "To be perfectly honest, none of us fully understand what it is."
UK Prime Minister Teresa May has stated today, in an interview with Channel 4, that neither she nor any other parliament members in her office truly understand the inner workings of Brexit. In the candid interview with Channel 4's Mijabus Shaymfel, t...Read full story
Beach bums' baby hooked on New Zealand island
A New Zealand fisherman caught an 18-month-old baby boy while fishing off the coast of North Island. “I was expecting bass,” Gus “The Guzzler” H____ (name withheld to protect us from possible unpleasantness associated with reporting the news) sai...Read full story
Theresa May ponders sacking entire army and using cheaper ghosts from WW1
On the hundredth anniversary of the end of World War 1, world leaders gathered in France to commemorate the event. French president Macron said, "It is important that we remember the fallen, and that we ensure such a thing never happens again.Read full story
Nada Al-Ahdal wants to be a child bride
Nada Al-Ahdal , a 70-year-old retired feminist from Yemen, has petitioned a court in Yemen for permission to change her legal age — by altering her birth certificate to show she was born 60 years later than she really was. Al-Ahdal argues that sh...Read full story
Trump Says Democrats Should Thank Him for Being Such A Terrible President...Because they never would've won the House by such a wide margin without him!
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Joined: 03 January 2007
Stories Written: 70
Joined: 03 January 2007
Stories Written: 70
WW1 would have been over more quickly without all the football armistices
World War 1 is an evocative and mysterious war. The dark trenches, the stench of death, the rattle of bullets, the endless referees' whistles, the thwack of metal boot on leather, the cheeky banter of the chants. The war was technically won by the...Read full story
Lorry Driver Picked Up Female Hitch-Hiker With The Sole Intention Of 'Getting Her To Her Destination'
In what's becoming the mosy widely-shared internet news item since Tuesday, a long-distance lorry driver who stopped to pick up a young woman hitching a lift near a motorway junction, has told how the only thought in his mind was how to get the 'dams...Read full story
Guy Fawkes On New £50 Note, Discussed In Parliament
The decision by the government to overturn its earlier decision to dispense with the £50 note, has aroused the interest of a group of people who, given the opportunity, might cheerfully overthrow the government. The Guy Fawkes Society, a group tha...Read full story
Woman Peeled Banana In A Suggestive Manner
A woman travelling on a train in northern England, was witnessed peeling a banana in a suggestive, erotic and provocative manner, claims a man, who might have got it wrong. Heiki Bauer, 19, a German student studying at the University of Hull, was...Read full story
Bill Cosby To Undergo Anal Check-up
Bill Cosby, the comedian who is serving a '3 to 10-year' prison term for drugging a woman in order to have sex with her, is to seek medical attention, after complaining of "juddering pains" in his back passage. Cosby, 81, incarcerated at the Penn...Read full story
Mann Turns The Other Cheek
In a Christian act of restraint that would have impressed many a God-botherer looking in, a man on the satirical news website, TheSpoof.com, decided that, rather than indulging in a fruitless and counterproductive slanging match with his critics, he...Read full story
"999 What's Your Emer...Ah Fuck It"
A shocking new report has found that over one million crimes a year aren’t even investigated by the police. To people who enjoy stealing cheap bottles of cider, this is great news! But, for those of us who expect our law enforcement to do a semi comp...Read full story
Con Conference: Extra Pritt-Stick Ordered For Theresa May Speech
Extra Pritt-Stick has been ordered to ensure Theresa May can only balls-up from speaking shite and not as well as the stage falling apart around her during her speech, ministers say. The previous Tory Conference was a spectacular screw-up for the...Read full story