Teasmaid going to its sixth car boot sale
Teasmaid Jacqui Smith has returned unsold from her fifth car boot sale and will be trying again tomorrow. The relic of a bygone era, car boot sales were the old-school eBay, without all of the palavers of postage. Jacqui, who has been sadly gather…
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Andy Dung, a school wierdo, makes a Big Mac
A MCDONALD’S fan Andy Dung, who believes he has the ultimate “Big Mac hack” has been called a lunatic by his school mates. Everton East ghetto dweller, Sir Andy Dung, whose Dad brought him home after a stay at a state mental hospital has claimed…
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Postage stamp released to honor Queen Elizabeth
The True Dat News Agency reports that King Charles III has just announced a new postage stamp to pay tribute to his late mum, Queen Elizabeth. According to TDNA writer Reggie Rickenracker, the stamp is no ordinary creation. It features a whimsical…
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Life still isn't a choose your own adventure book
A man who found out to his cost that life still isn’t a choose-your-own-adventure story is telling people on his blog. Bumbling buffoon Gene Daffney took out a dice and rolled it, leaving his fate to chance. Instead of going to work for a week…
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King Charles Said To Harry: “I’m Not A Bank!”
Demanding additional money daily from his sixteen-bathroom, $15 million Montecito home, Prince Charles slammed his foot down on his Aston Martin brakes and told his son, Harry, “I am not a bank!” Bravo, King Charles! Raise the Union Jack! Imagi…
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Meghan wants her own crown – NOW!
Despite media reports saying she wouldn't attend the coronation, Meghan Markle, or Merkle or MarkieMark, made an unexpected appearance. She stood, biting her tongue, as she gazed at the grandeur, trying to resist the urge to shout to the flying buttr…
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Royal submarine, the HMS Sea Scoundrel, hits a school of orca whales and receives heavy damage
King Charles hints that he may put Windsor Castle up for sale
What will you be doing at the Coronation?
A British Woman Wants To Be Transferred To A Men's Prison
Mick Lynch Wins UK Bowling Championship After Record Number Of Strikes
Man realises his high horse is lame
Did King Charles III Invite Anyone From The Spoof To Attend His Coronation?
The holy medieval Merlin shall never die!
Like a bad penny, this fantasy movie has bad actors
King Charles did not enter Westminster Abbey playing a tambourine
Sensitivity Reader now Desensitised
Lesbian Frankenstein Monster Terrorizes London
Elton John caught with an inflatable doll at Heathrow Airport
Elton John, the 76-year-old English crooner was caught at the Heathrow luggage check in counter with an inflatable doll in one of his 6 pink suitcases. At first Elly tried to say that the pink suitcase was not his, but lets face it, who else has a…
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The United Kingdom's 19th Heavy Artillery Tank Regiment defeats Russia's 3rd St. Petersburg Volunteer Regiment
The Twickenham Times Telegram Newspaper's intrepid reporter, Tango Brisket, provides a unique glimpse into the valiant exploits of the 19th Heavy Artillery Tank Regiment during his six-month embedded assignment. Brisket's observations underscore t…
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BoJo gone cuckoo
Boris Johnson was recently admitted to a mental institution for retired politicians. “They drove me out! I wanted to stay! I was the bloody Prime Minister of all of the Britons!” Yes, Mr. Johnson, you keep saying that. Are the Britons in this r…
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King Charles III, invites President Biden to visit Buckingham Palace
Tickety Boo News reporter Grover Buck reveals that King Charles III has extended a warm invitation to President Biden for a visit to Buckingham Palace. During the visit, the distinguished pair intends to discuss the ongoing Russian invasion of Ukr…
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Experts say that Great Britain's Robin Hood Volcano could erupt at anytime
Esteemed geologist Abner "Flasher" Cockburn has raised the alarm about the newly formed Robin Hood Volcano, nestled in the picturesque English Channel just off the coast of Portsmouth. Flasher has expressed grave concerns that the volcano could unlea…
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Old people remembering the Coronation of their youth
83-year-old Edna and 79-year-old Tom, stalwarts of the Wet Sprocket pub in Mithering on the Trent, are both reminiscing about the previous coronation in 1953. "Do you remember that day?" asked Tom. "I do. I remember my neighbors had to hire the te…
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Judi Dench to be the face on the new £1 coin
In a groundbreaking move, the Treasury has unveiled the designs for the new £1 coin featuring the iconic face of none other than Dame Judi Dench, the ageless wonder of the silver screen. Renowned for her ability to defy the laws of time and gravit…
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Prince Harry, son of King Charles III, says he was snubbed by the royal family and he will never set foot in England again
Prince Harry attended the royal coronation of his father to honor him, but he says that upon reflection, he would have preferred to have stayed in America and taken his family to eat at The La Brea Tar Pits Diner. The Prince, who is a big fan of T…
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All British beer to dry up and all pubs to close by Michaelmas
On par with telling an American that their Second Amendment will be erased and all their guns taken away, the people of Britain will soon be up in arms this coming September when all beer production will stop and all pubs closed. This is coming fr…
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Tom from MySpace was never really your friend
Although the barely missed Myspace was not the hit that Facebook was, Tom, who claimed to be everybody's friend, never really liked you. I know, it is shocking. In his photos, Tom seemed like such a nice chap, with his cheeky chappy demeanour, but…
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The mighty and manly king has a run in his stockings
King Charles had a run in his stocking, but he couldn't find a seamstress – the kind they had in the good old days of the 19th century, possibly a three-year-old covered in soot, smoking cigars, and hacking out a lung or two – so he must do it himsel…
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The Archers' cricket team, it must be the summer then
With the longer days, more sunshine, and warmer air, the last harbinger of the arrival of summer is here. Talk on Radio 4's lovely little documentary, "The Archers," is all about the cricket team. Their other main storyline, where Linda Snell disc…
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A new island rises between Britain and Europe
A new island has mysteriously popped up in the Channel between Britain and France. The island is all stone, rising 500 feet, creating a wall around the interior—a sight reminiscent of Lord of the Rings (which was filmed in New Zealand, so think of th…
Read full storyLatest Spoof UK Headlines
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Agatha Christie fell in love with Ted Bundy
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It's been discovered that Religion is a lie
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Jack The Ripper was a Knights Templar
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Dominic Raab set to return the keys, and all of the AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA's
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Liberal Democrats won't disturb you again, until the next time
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Landscapers discover that Windsor Castle actually has a moat
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Suella’s speed is scraping her calloused heels
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Jacob Rees-Mogg wants more names
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Prince William says that the photo of him and the Soho pole dancer holding hands was photoshopped
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King Charles says that the clock in the Big Ben Tower will need to be replaced
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Michael Madeup's New Year Message
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The Fog In London Is So Thick Blackbirds Are Actually Eating It
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Queen Camilla: Squiffy is the head that wears the crown
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God smites Archbishop of Canterbury for speeding
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Michael Madeup's leaving speech
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Is there a lion lying in the middle of the road? 5 signs you are in a safari park
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King Arthur was a womanizer
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Government resigns over Phillip Schofield’s lying about an affair at work
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James Bond is a terrorist, but Pussy is galore
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King Charles says that he is seriously considering buying Wembley Stadium
