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Trump Now Also President of Egypt

President Donald Trump now claims to be part Egyptian after a new mummy was uncovered. Noted the President, "Look! It's old, wrinkly, shriveled, and orange! Just like me!"
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Talking Tic-Tacs
Joined: 25 June 2012
Stories Written: 70

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Check out anything you've missed with the archive:

Woman completes life by getting a boyfriend.

Funny story: Woman completes life by getting a boyfriend.

Former freelance musician, Leona Warwick, 28, has finally decided to stop being half a person, and complete her life by getting a boyfriend. "After I left university, I travelled a lot, worked hard to pursue my dreams, and was earning a living doi...

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The Lun Dun mayor: he wore an itsby-bitsy, teeny-weeny yellow bikini

Funny story: The Lun Dun mayor: he wore an itsby-bitsy, teeny-weeny yellow bikini

Lun Dun, Eng Lund—Lun Duners, like other Britz, hate their mayor, Sad Ick Khan (no relation, as far as anyone knows, to either Genghis or Kubla), and, to show it, they took up a collection to protest his existence. More than 16 million people (twi...

Read full storyView 'The Lun Dun mayor: he wore an itsby-bitsy, teeny-weeny yellow bikini'

Bozo Trots Out Usual Bollocks In Vain Attempt to be Relevant

Funny story: Bozo Trots Out Usual Bollocks In Vain Attempt to be Relevant

The Daily Telegraph was once a serious newspaper but is now reduced to having a front page spread featuring a serial liar and idiot. Monday's edition had emblazoned upon it Bozo Johnson's self-satisfied face as he once again trotted out his usual gu...

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Elon Musk Thinks You're A Paedophile, Probably

Funny story: Elon Musk Thinks You're A Paedophile, Probably

Tesla, Spacex, Neuralink and Paypal founder, architect, chief executive, cowboy executive, indian executive, producer, director, judge, jury and executioner Elon Musk has gone back on the offensive against a man whom he believes, for a reason he has...

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Bozo Johnson to Get Divorced After Stormy Daniels Affair

Funny story: Bozo Johnson to Get Divorced After Stormy Daniels Affair

Failed ex-foreign secretary Bozo Johnson and his wife Marina Wheeler have confirmed they have separated after newspaper allegations of Mr Johnson having had another extra-marital affair, this time with American porn star Stormy Daniels. In a joint...

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Operation YellowHammer waiting in the Brexit wings

Secret plans to cut public spending and increase the suffocating grip of austerity round the throat of the UK were leaked today. The plans codenamed “Operation Yellowhammer” will come into force if Britain leaves the EU with a “no deal” agreement. Th...

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Boris the Brat swipes again!

Now the Conservative party is ripping itself apart over Brexit, criticism of Boris the Brat is reaching seismic proportions. And yet: criticising Johnson is like treading water in the Dead Sea. Whatever way you do it, you can't fail. But you don't ge...

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Russian Suspects Now Innocent After Thoroughly Convincing Interview

Funny story: Russian Suspects Now Innocent After Thoroughly Convincing Interview

The two men accused by Britain of carrying out the nerve agent attack in Salisbury have given a searingly honest interview which completely admonishes them from all blame entirely. Alexander Petrov and Ruslan Boshirov denied they were State Agents...

Read full storyView 'Russian Suspects Now Innocent After Thoroughly Convincing Interview'
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