Meghan Markle Back At Graft
Meghan Markle has finally returned to work, once more, after her period of maternity, having given birth to royal baby, Archie, in May. The Duchess of Sussex, looking stunning in clothes paid for by the taxpayer, posed for photos outside Buckingha...
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Extreme Northerner Found in Cave on Cumbrian Border
A man, estimated to be in his 60s, who was discovered living in a cave on the Cumbrian/Scottish border, has been dubbed Britain's Most Northern Man, due to the traits he has displayed since being found by a woman out walking her dog last Tuesday.
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RNLI Aye Aye
Racist Brits were in uproar toady, after it was discovered 2p in every pound raised for the RNLI would go abroad to help those in need, with hundreds of people with little else to do vowing to start and then cancel a direct debit to the RNLI. With...
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Drag Queen Wins Miss England Pageant: Measures 36-24-36-9
BILLINGSGATE POST: Wilma, née Woody Wentworth of Westminster won the Miss England Pageant held in Worstershire this weekend. According to public records, Wilma changed her name to Woody after undergoing a sex change operation a year ago. Woody p...
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Couple watching complete box set of Poldark, again
Brian Asshat and his good friend (and paid housekeeper) Felicity Dowager from Chutney on the Fritz have started to watch all five series of Poldark, again. Felicity said 'I watch it for Captain Ross, his hairy chest, his way with a scythe, his way...
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American Readers of U.K. Based Satire Site Demand to Know "Who the Hell is Harry Maguire?"
London - U.S. readers of a popular site based in Britain specializing in parodies of news and popular culture, inundated the publisher with emails, tweets and Facebook posts, asking the management of the blog to explain why there are so many stories...
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Queen Mother's mummified stool sold for $9 million
Boris: "U K is in North America, Not Europe"
Boris Johnson Meets Barbara Windsor About Dementia, But There Is Confusion Over Which Of The Two Has Been More Severely Affected
Boris takes bread and circuses to Brussels
Boris butchered and ate Number 10 cat says Downing Street insider
Boris Johnson Admits That He Is A Right Cunt
The Plots of Dominic Cummings
Parliament Seizes Control of Michael Caine
Boris goes to the dogs
Arm British dinner ladies with blunderbusses says Jacob Rees-Mogg
Boris Johnson Pisses Himself Under Questioning From Children
London man concerned that best friend had erection during man-hug
Woman whose knickers fell down at supermarket checkout knows she can never return
A 30-year-old woman from Whitechapel in East London has told a local newspaper that she can never go back to her local Lidl supermarket in Docklands Road, after an incident earlier this week when the elastic in her knickers snapped, resulting in them...
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Survey: British women consume three times their own bodyweight during an all-inclusive holiday
A recent study by Cambridge University has revealed, that during the course of a 14-night, all-inclusive holiday break, the average British woman will eat up to 3 times her own bodyweight in the hotel dining area. The 5-year study, conducted in a...
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Local man doesn’t much like the look of guests in TripAdvisor photo of his holiday hotel
A 45-year-old Whitechapel man has expressed deep concerns about the standard of some of the guests pictured staying at the 4-star hotel in Crete where he will be spending 2 weeks at the end of this month. Toby Dell, a forklift truck driver from Va...
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Squaddie runs amok in government think tank
A 19-year-old soldier was being held in custody last night, amid reports that he stole a government think tank from outside a Ministry Of Defence building, before embarking on a trail of destruction across West London, during which the tank's weaponr...
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Harry Maguire Named In Yak Palimony Suit
BILLINGSGATE POST: Details are irrelevant. But it seems that ever since he was suspended from Manchester United for playing with his under-Inflated balls, things have gone down hill for the beleaguered Maguire. The domestic yak (Bos grunniens) i...
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Man Felt Intimidated By Train Announcement
A male passenger on a train was somewhat taken aback by a safety announcement he heard which advised passengers who had seen anything suspicious: "See it, say it, sorted!" The announcement, delivered by a woman with an authoritative and asserti...
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Six-year-old doesn't like the new boys
Leo Fitzmaurice, a six-year-old with a fascination for space travel and dinosaurs, doesn't like the two new boys in his class. Boris and Gavin, two older boys from nearby London, were in the school, and apparently taking the younger boys dinner mo...
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Boris Johnson reveals he is actually Basil Brush
It will come as something of a shock to us all that remember some innocent times on Children's television in the 1970s and 1980s, that Boris Johnson played the part of Basil Brush for years. Natty and dapper of waistcoat, toothy, and with the popu...
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Boris Johnson is the unpopular friend with a car
It has been revealed, to us, exclusively that Boris Johnson has only got to where he is in politics because he is the only one with a van big enough to take the piano and the drum-kit. The news reaches us that in trying to avert the country's atte...
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Father of six falls asleep at work
Barry Eckingtwhaite, from Basingstoke, was filmed sleeping during a heavy-duty meeting about urinal cakes. The meeting that lasted for more than an hour involved little more than an argument, and Mavis from accounts being asked to find three quotes.
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So Boom, Boom Johnson Is About To Be Booted Out As Prime Minister Of The United Kingdom
They are calling Boris Johnson, a David Cameron with a spine, but without a brain. If the two could get together in a Vita-Mix and blend for three to five minutes, one still couldn’t produce a Winston Churchill. Adding a cigar and a brandy again woul...
Read full storyLatest Spoof UK Headlines
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New storm after Harry and Meghan hire Mexican band to announce their arrival wherever they go
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Royal baby Archie a worthless piece of crap says Daily Mail
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Spoof Stars For The Week Ahead
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Horoscope Was Wrong
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'Frail' Prince Philip now only able to communicate via ship-to-ship Aldis Lamp
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Furious elderly man hits out at 'no tits' Nat Geo channel
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UK citizenship tests getting harder
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Pro-Cannabis MP Forgets To Attend Legalisation Debate
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Nigel Farage believes the Earth is flat
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Mechanic Claims To Have Seen The Face Of Christ On Apprentice’s Buttocks
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Spoof writer finds human remains in drawer of Writers Desk
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Steven The Blind Hedgehog Is Safe And Well, And Planning For The Future
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Ice Cream Van Played 'Match Of The Day' Theme
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Boris Johnson Has Got Crabs
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King Boris Dismisses Parliament
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Queen Sets New Rules for Trump Visits
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Boris Johnson Suspends Parliament In 'Clamping' Exercise
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Cryptic Factor
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White House fury at local school's plans to replace dunce's cap with Trump wig
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Queen Victoria Gave Captain Scott Hand Relief Before Polar Trek Claims Historian
