Funny story: West Brom Fans Disrespectful To Fallen War Heroes

West Brom Fans Disrespectful To Fallen War Heroes

Remembrance Day is the day when those who perished in battle are honoured with a celebration of their bravery, and recognition of the price they paid for our freedom. We should observe it, each in our own way, but, ideally, not in the way some sectio...

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Funny story: Dragon who burnt down a village continually reminded about it

Dragon who burnt down a village continually reminded about it

Edgar, a somewhat impulsive dragon, who burnt down the village Christmas tree twenty years ago, has learnt that his youthful indiscretion and lack of control has formed the basis for this year's John Lewis advert. 'Yes, it was all a bit embarrassi...

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Funny story: London Man Caged For Shouting At Burglar

London Man Caged For Shouting At Burglar

A London man was given two consecutive life sentences at The Old Bailey yesterday, after being found guilty of shouting loudly at a burglar who had broken into his home in the early hours of the morning in June of this year. Toby Dell, a postman f...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson's Teabag is still stewing in a very cold mug

Boris Johnson's Teabag is still stewing in a very cold mug

Gary Johnson, a four-month-old teabag used by Prime Minister Boris Johnson, has revealed that he has spent the weekend in a cold cup of very strong, very bitter tea. 'I feel completely used,' said Johnson, who is, as he was only too ready to point...

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Funny story: Britain's longest-serving lighthouse keeper marries transistor radio

Britain's longest-serving lighthouse keeper marries transistor radio

A 54-year-old man who has been on duty in a lighthouse in the Thames estuary for a record 27 years without a break, yesterday tied the knot with the small Japanese transistor radio that has been his only contact with the rest of the world throughout...

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Funny story: The General Redirection

The General Redirection

As the election hots up, and seemingly every Tory candidate is called out for lying, many familiar political battlegrounds have opened up. Many MPs have decried the state of our health service and are all promising to hand-build thousands of beds and...

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Funny story: Man Oozes Confidence After Putting Cardboard Box On Head

Man Oozes Confidence After Putting Cardboard Box On Head

A man who, for as long as he can remember, has been shy when in the company of people he doesn't know, has suddenly unearthed a rich seam of confidence, by walking around with a cardboard box on his head. The man, Eric Stibbles, from Maidstone in...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson's election bus to be powered by bullshit

Boris Johnson's election bus to be powered by bullshit

The UK's general election got up to full speed this week, as the media pressed the accelerator of information and the political parties took the steering wheel of policy. The Conservatives revealed their new weapon - a big red bus with not just on...

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Funny story: No more flooding after Brexit

No more flooding after Brexit

Tories are queuing up to support their leader, Boris Johnson, after his claim that flooding currently hitting the north of England is a direct result of EU membership. "It's simple," explained Johnson. "After 31 January, winds will be redirected a...

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Funny story: Man claims to have found God in Cornwall

Man claims to have found God in Cornwall

A man from Cornwall claims to have discovered evidence of God on Bodmin Moor. Geoff Tractor, 47, is an unemployed astronaut from Launceston, and is convinced that the creator of the Universe lives on the remote moorland. Tractor said, "I was up on...

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Funny story: Etch-a-sketch Cafe Opens

Etch-a-sketch Cafe Opens

Hipster Kevin Wilkes, who has just set up a business sewing mittens together, so that fully-grown adults can relive a tiny amount of their long-forgotten childhood, has had a busy week, for today he is also opening up the first Etch-a-sketch cafe.

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Funny story: Hull Man Found Crying Over Spilt Milk

Hull Man Found Crying Over Spilt Milk

A Hull man living in the Thai capital of Bangkok was said by friends to be "extremely upset with himself" this morning, after they found him at his apartment crying over some spilt milk. The 'spilt mlk' the man was crying over, was from a 1-litre...

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Funny story: Man surprised he can't buy shorts in the shops now

Man surprised he can't buy shorts in the shops now

Barry Asshat, a 63-year-old from Chutney on the Fritz was shocked when he went to his local High Street clothing emporium, and couldn't buy shorts. 'Imagine my surprise' said the unimaginative buffoon 'I went to Mark and Spencers in the High Stree...

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Funny story: First Genetically Engineered Cat Girl Licks Harry Maguire’s Balls

First Genetically Engineered Cat Girl Licks Harry Maguire’s Balls

BILLINGSGATE POST: Shockwaves reverberated throughout the febrile English football world as the first genetically engineered cat girl broke ranks with tradition, and licked Manchester United defenseman Harry Maguire’s balls as he went onto the field...

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Funny story: Hull Man Awarded Damages After Getting Cock Trapped In Zip

Hull Man Awarded Damages After Getting Cock Trapped In Zip

A man who was injured when he trapped his penis in the zip of his jeans recently, has been awarded record damages of 50p. The man snagged his cock as he hastily tried to fasten his flyhole after having a piss in a shop doorway in Hull town centre...

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Funny story: Jacob Rees-Mogg Urged To "Jump" By Huge Crowd

Jacob Rees-Mogg Urged To "Jump" By Huge Crowd

The leader of the House of Commons, Jacob Rees-Mogg, was besieged by a huge crowd of spectators as he went walkabout on the roof of the Houses of Parliament today, after his comments earlier in the week about some of those who perished in the Grenfel...

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Funny story: Parrotman's Parrots Think He Is A Right Knobhead

Parrotman's Parrots Think He Is A Right Knobhead

Ted Parrotman, the man who changed his name and his appearance because he so much wanted to resemble his pet parrots, may have impressed a lot of people, but not the parrots themselves. They have nothing good to say about him whatsoever. For pe...

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Funny story: Mail service on form

Mail service on form

In news rolling and turning at breakneck speed, a postal officer employed at a Wolverhampton agency, has announced he will deliver his next load using a wicker basket and a camel. The 39-year-old says that he will keep much of the day's delivery...

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Funny story: The Queens New Clothes

The Queens New Clothes

The Queen's official dresser has confirmed that she will be going “fur free” this winter. The Queen’s official ottoman and cupboard were unavailable for comment. Animal rights groups have applauded the Queen's decision, and hope it will be a step...

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Funny story: Festival of Brexit

Festival of Brexit

The insane cackling you can hear flowing out of Westminster is at the decision that Boris Johnson's government will push on with plans to have a “Festival of Brexit”. Which sounds as much fun as a “Festival of Cancer” or a “Festival of It Was Better...

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