Funny story: Meghan Markle Back At Graft

Meghan Markle Back At Graft

Meghan Markle has finally returned to work, once more, after her period of maternity, having given birth to royal baby, Archie, in May. The Duchess of Sussex, looking stunning in clothes paid for by the taxpayer, posed for photos outside Buckingha...

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Funny story: Extreme Northerner Found in Cave on Cumbrian Border

Extreme Northerner Found in Cave on Cumbrian Border

A man, estimated to be in his 60s, who was discovered living in a cave on the Cumbrian/Scottish border, has been dubbed Britain's Most Northern Man, due to the traits he has displayed since being found by a woman out walking her dog last Tuesday.

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Funny story: RNLI Aye Aye

RNLI Aye Aye

Racist Brits were in uproar toady, after it was discovered 2p in every pound raised for the RNLI would go abroad to help those in need, with hundreds of people with little else to do vowing to start and then cancel a direct debit to the RNLI. With...

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Funny story: Drag Queen Wins Miss England Pageant: Measures 36-24-36-9

Drag Queen Wins Miss England Pageant: Measures 36-24-36-9

BILLINGSGATE POST: Wilma, née Woody Wentworth of Westminster won the Miss England Pageant held in Worstershire this weekend. According to public records, Wilma changed her name to Woody after undergoing a sex change operation a year ago. Woody p...

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Funny story: Couple watching complete box set of Poldark, again

Couple watching complete box set of Poldark, again

Brian Asshat and his good friend (and paid housekeeper) Felicity Dowager from Chutney on the Fritz have started to watch all five series of Poldark, again. Felicity said 'I watch it for Captain Ross, his hairy chest, his way with a scythe, his way...

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Funny story: American Readers of U.K. Based Satire Site Demand to Know "Who the Hell is Harry Maguire?"

American Readers of U.K. Based Satire Site Demand to Know "Who the Hell is Harry Maguire?"

London - U.S. readers of a popular site based in Britain specializing in parodies of news and popular culture, inundated the publisher with emails, tweets and Facebook posts, asking the management of the blog to explain why there are so many stories...

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Funny story: Woman whose knickers fell down at supermarket checkout knows she can never return

Woman whose knickers fell down at supermarket checkout knows she can never return

A 30-year-old woman from Whitechapel in East London has told a local newspaper that she can never go back to her local Lidl supermarket in Docklands Road, after an incident earlier this week when the elastic in her knickers snapped, resulting in them...

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Funny story: Survey: British women consume three times their own bodyweight during an all-inclusive holiday

Survey: British women consume three times their own bodyweight during an all-inclusive holiday

A recent study by Cambridge University has revealed, that during the course of a 14-night, all-inclusive holiday break, the average British woman will eat up to 3 times her own bodyweight in the hotel dining area. The 5-year study, conducted in a...

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Funny story: Local man doesn’t much like the look of guests in TripAdvisor photo of his holiday hotel

Local man doesn’t much like the look of guests in TripAdvisor photo of his holiday hotel

A 45-year-old Whitechapel man has expressed deep concerns about the standard of some of the guests pictured staying at the 4-star hotel in Crete where he will be spending 2 weeks at the end of this month. Toby Dell, a forklift truck driver from Va...

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Funny story: Squaddie runs amok in government think tank

Squaddie runs amok in government think tank

A 19-year-old soldier was being held in custody last night, amid reports that he stole a government think tank from outside a Ministry Of Defence building, before embarking on a trail of destruction across West London, during which the tank's weaponr...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Named In Yak Palimony Suit

Harry Maguire Named In Yak Palimony Suit

BILLINGSGATE POST: Details are irrelevant. But it seems that ever since he was suspended from Manchester United for playing with his under-Inflated balls, things have gone down hill for the beleaguered Maguire. The domestic yak (Bos grunniens) i...

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Funny story: Lie To Me

Lie To Me

Sitting, standing and ducking PM Boris Johnson has sensationally denied lying to the Queen over his reasons for suspending Parliament. Boris said: "In my life, I have lied to everyone I have ever met. I lie to my mum. I lie to my dad. I lie to my...

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Seven day catch up

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Funny story: Man Felt Intimidated By Train Announcement

Man Felt Intimidated By Train Announcement

A male passenger on a train was somewhat taken aback by a safety announcement he heard which advised passengers who had seen anything suspicious: "See it, say it, sorted!" The announcement, delivered by a woman with an authoritative and asserti...

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Funny story: Six-year-old doesn't like the new boys

Six-year-old doesn't like the new boys

Leo Fitzmaurice, a six-year-old with a fascination for space travel and dinosaurs, doesn't like the two new boys in his class. Boris and Gavin, two older boys from nearby London, were in the school, and apparently taking the younger boys dinner mo...

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Funny story: To Infinity And Boris!

To Infinity And Boris!

Boris Johnson, current PM and enchanted mop, has said that the leaders of the opposition parties “don’t trust the people”. He admitted he, himself, doesn’t trust the people either, but that’s by the by. Johnson, standing in the middle of a windswep...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson reveals he is actually Basil Brush

Boris Johnson reveals he is actually Basil Brush

It will come as something of a shock to us all that remember some innocent times on Children's television in the 1970s and 1980s, that Boris Johnson played the part of Basil Brush for years. Natty and dapper of waistcoat, toothy, and with the popu...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson is the unpopular friend with a car

Boris Johnson is the unpopular friend with a car

It has been revealed, to us, exclusively that Boris Johnson has only got to where he is in politics because he is the only one with a van big enough to take the piano and the drum-kit. The news reaches us that in trying to avert the country's atte...

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Funny story: Boycott Boycott

Boycott Boycott

Certified woman beater, Geoffrey Boycott, has said he “doesn’t give a shit” about the critics of his knighthood. Geoffrey said: "You knock one silly broad around in one lousy hotel, and you’re branded for life! It was only a couple of slaps, a qui...

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Funny story: Father of six falls asleep at work

Father of six falls asleep at work

Barry Eckingtwhaite, from Basingstoke, was filmed sleeping during a heavy-duty meeting about urinal cakes. The meeting that lasted for more than an hour involved little more than an argument, and Mavis from accounts being asked to find three quotes.

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Funny story: So Boom, Boom Johnson Is About To Be Booted Out As Prime Minister Of The United Kingdom

So Boom, Boom Johnson Is About To Be Booted Out As Prime Minister Of The United Kingdom

They are calling Boris Johnson, a David Cameron with a spine, but without a brain. If the two could get together in a Vita-Mix and blend for three to five minutes, one still couldn’t produce a Winston Churchill. Adding a cigar and a brandy again woul...

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