Trump Switches From Twitter to PornHub Comments Section

Funny story written by Sasa Stankovic

Monday, 11 January 2021

image for Trump Switches From Twitter to PornHub Comments Section
Trump - now with sex appeal

WASHINGTON- The followers of President Donald J. Trump are still recovering from a shock caused by the news of an unjustified and brutal Twitter ban. If only they knew that the President and what’s left of his staff have been working on creative and innovative ways of reaching a wider conservative audience!

Donald Trump was unavailable for a comment, but one of his few remaining advisers agreed to share the latest news from the Oval Office.

“The President couldn’t believe it when he heard the news about the Twitter ban. He was restless, walking up and down the office and mumbling something to himself,” he said. “Then, he suddenly stopped and smiled: “Wait a minute, Twitter is not the only platform out there, is it?”

“One of my colleagues immediately recalled the results of the poll conducted several years ago by GOP, which indicate that many humble, God-fearing, conservative voters frequently visit porn sites, especially the giant of the business, the PornHub.”

“We rolled our sleeves up, sat around the desk, and spent hours brainstorming possible pseudonyms for the President. The ideas were flying around, from Ilovechinabut, to realpussygrabberdon, but we eventually settled for titsassdonIwon. You see, the name shouldn't raise suspicion about who is behind it, otherwise, we’d be in danger of being banned from PornHub, too. Still, it should be fairly recognizable to our quick-minded supporters.”

“You might wonder why I’m telling you this. Well, by the time you publish the article, we will change the pseudonym. Our plan is to change it several times a day, for security reasons.

“Let’s hope this works, otherwise we’ll have to communicate with supporters using smoke signals. Inconvenient, except for those boys who stormed the Capitol wearing animal skins.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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