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Man In a Really Dark Place Finally Figures Out How to Use the Flashlight on His Cellphone.
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Martin Gooseflesh
Martin Gooseflesh
Joined: 04 April 2007
Stories Written: 16

Seven day catch up

Check out anything you've missed with the archive:

UK 8 year-old goalkeeper pushed by pushy dad signs for Manchester United

Funny story: UK 8 year-old goalkeeper pushed by pushy dad signs for Manchester United

The Special One, watching a video of a young goalkeeper being pushed back into his goal by his dad as the ball rolled towards the empty net, has decided the boy has 'special talents', just like him, and has signed him! The dad, a staunch Liverpoo...

Read full storyView 'UK 8 year-old goalkeeper pushed by pushy dad signs for Manchester United'

Hail wreaks havoc at golf world cup in Melbourne

Funny story: Hail wreaks havoc at golf world cup in Melbourne

The opening rounds of the world cup of golf were brought to a close early following a flurry of unseasonable hail. Golf-ball sized chunks of ice rained down on the greens, hindering the players in their game and seriously injuring one of those guy...

Read full storyView 'Hail wreaks havoc at golf world cup in Melbourne'

Football Gossip: Newcastle, Southgate, Cambridge Utd Women "It Was Too Small", Mourinho Relief

Funny story: Football Gossip: Newcastle, Southgate, Cambridge Utd Women "It Was Too Small", Mourinho Relief

According to England Manager Gareth Southgate after Sunday's win against Croatia, Harry Kane "is the best goal scorer in the world. If only he could do it when it really matters". Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley has sanctioned funds for the Mag...

Read full storyView 'Football Gossip: Newcastle, Southgate, Cambridge Utd Women "It Was Too Small", Mourinho Relief'

Gary Lineker Suffering From Crippling Constipation

Funny story: Gary Lineker Suffering From Crippling Constipation

Footballers and TV presenters are only human, and former Tottenham Hotspur and England striker Gary Lineker is all three, but it will come as a surprise to many people to hear that the 'Match of the Day' host is having 'toilet troubles', or so it loo...

Read full storyView 'Gary Lineker Suffering From Crippling Constipation'

Darts Farts Crackdown

Funny story: Darts Farts Crackdown

The air turned nasty last week when Scottish darts double world champion Gary Anderson and Dutch opponent Wesley Harms both denied responsibility for creating "rotten egg smells" on the oche. Following his defeat by Anderson 10-2 at the Grand Slam...

Read full storyView 'Darts Farts Crackdown'

Football Gossip: Mourinho Warning, Motherwell "Bawbag", Sol Campbell, (Kan)Ye West vs Frank Skinner

Funny story: Football Gossip: Mourinho Warning, Motherwell "Bawbag", Sol Campbell, (Kan)Ye West vs Frank Skinner

Before their Champions League match against Young Boys, so-called Manchester United manager, Jose Mourinho, warned his players "if you can't cope with playing at Old Trafford, then go home and watch the match on TV, just like me". BBC Sport has re...

Read full storyView 'Football Gossip: Mourinho Warning, Motherwell "Bawbag", Sol Campbell, (Kan)Ye West vs Frank Skinner'

Hull City Coach Nigel Adkins Waxes Lyrical After Forest Defeat

Funny story: Hull City Coach Nigel Adkins Waxes Lyrical After Forest Defeat

Hull City manager, mealy-mouthed Nigel Adkins, was full of praise for his players despite their 0-2 home defeat to Nottingham Forest on Saturday. Adkins told reporters: "They've given everything out there I'm pleased with the performance We'...

Read full storyView 'Hull City Coach Nigel Adkins Waxes Lyrical After Forest Defeat'

Football Gossip: Arsenal Dismay, Shut Up Mourinho, Argentine Balls, £100m Wilshere,

Funny story: Football Gossip: Arsenal Dismay, Shut Up Mourinho, Argentine Balls, £100m Wilshere,

After claiming that his team does not have enough "mad dogs", Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho now blames his team's flaccid performances on being vaccinated against rabies. Moaning Maureen has also accused France midfielder Paul Pogba of b...

Read full storyView 'Football Gossip: Arsenal Dismay, Shut Up Mourinho, Argentine Balls, £100m Wilshere,'
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