DAYTONA BEACH, Florida – (Sports Satire) – NASCAR was founded in 1948, and now after 73 years, the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing is proudly boasting that they are finally getting with the racing program.
Sports Territory Magazine reporter Hiawatha Pamplona, commented that the world’s number one racing giant has extended its vroom vroom arms and embraced 28-year-old Catalina Puffinpick, who was born Sylvester Puffinpick in Cotton Balls, Georgia.
Cata, as her ex-boyfriend, Woody, pegged her, stated that ever since she was a little boy, she dreamed of one day becoming a firefighter. But she pointed out that when she read an article in the Turnstile Review that revealed how much NASCAR drivers make, she quickly put pen to paper, and she suddenly set her sights on joining the world of left, left, left.
Miss Puffinpick first raced at the young age of 19, at California’s famed Gary Busey International Speedway in Tarzana.
She came in third and pocketed $900, which she put towards getting surgery to remove her Adam’s apple and three other nameless parts of her body.
When asked who she most admires in the world of racing, Cata quickly replied that she loves Danica Patrick. She pointed out that one of her most prized possessions is an autographed NASCAR bra that Danica gave her four years ago.
SIDENOTE: Catalina proudly told Pamplona that she has already been approached by Carburetor Illustrated Magazine about appearing in a nude centerfold spread in an upcoming issue.