WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The nation’s First Lady called in to the "Sean Hannity Show," and informed him that she has finally decided to file for divorce from Donald Johnny Trump.
Mrs. Trump told the Fox News host that she has had it with the crazy, hateful, racist antics of the man she calls Donaldo.
Melania said that he is only sleeping about 35 minutes a night. She said that her husband hates the fact that he has been banned from Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and even the the X-Rated Horny Channel.
She giggled as she said that, for some weird-ass reason known only to himself, the President had started sleeping in one of her sexy red MAGA teddies.
Mrs. Trump noted that she is scared as hell that he will take the missile launching remote and fire off missiles towards Russia, North Korea, Seattle, and Portland.
She said that she is ready to dump the man who has become even more hated that Hitler, Hirohito, Ted Cruz, and General George Custer combined.
When Hannity asked if she planned to return to her native Slovenia when she left the White House, she replied “Abso-fuck-ing-lutely!"