Brian Asshat, Chutney on the Fritz's most colourful character will spend today curating his pencil shavings, after sneezing on them last night.
'Yes, it is a complete nightmare' wrote Brian on his blog 'I sneezed, and my carefully curated collection of pencil shavings went on the floor. I mean it is a bit of an odd hobby, I grant you, but I am of the belief that until you have tweezed a pencil sharpening from a carpet, you are not a real man.'
Agreeing with the sentiment on his blog OddBod57 said 'I agree Brian. I have the same issue with my crumbs. I spend hours organising them correctly, and then one sneeze ruins all of the hard work. I really think we need to find romantic partners, we really can't go on like this can we'.
The truth of the matter is that only one of them exists in real life, and it isn't Brian.
