SpaceX has sent up another supply ship to the International Space Station, (because NASA is too busy doing their nails), but an increasingly bizarre list of supply items is raising eyebrows.
The Falcon rocket, launched on August 29 from Elon Musk's secret Batcave, is stocked with, inexplicably, avocados, ants, a human-sized robot arm, and everybody's favorite McDonald's Happy Meal item, brine shrimp.
When pressed for an explanation, Mission Commander Wilkes Hootnanny, replied, "What? What? Nothing's happening up here. It's okay. Okay? Wait! What have you heard?! Are we okay? Because I think we're okay! You know? What do you know?! Whatwhawhatwhat? Did you hear something? Did somebody mention my name? Because I know nothing! Everything's going to be okay! OKAY?!"
Previously, SpaceX has delivered 189 boxes of stale Rice Krispies, the metal car player-piece from a Monopoly game, a VHS copy of 'Pretty In Pink' , 17.4 millilitres of frozen Worchestershire sauce, a jpeg of a completed Sudoku puzzle, a teal-colored XXXL tee-shirt autographed by Drake, and an envelope containing some of Burt Reynold's chest hair.
Investigative investigations resulted in a clandestine encounter with supply rocket technician Mister G (he thought 'Mister X' sounded too pornographic, but still wished to remain anonymous). He didn't reveal too much, other than a nervous twitch and an uncontrollable perspiration problem, but Mister G (real name Gary Crippen, home address 428 4th Street South, St. Petersburg, Florida) did tell me what else the space station has in store for the next so-called 'supply run'.
"Yea, yea, this is some serious stuff, ya know? It ain't right and it ain't making no sense, okay? Like on the next trip up inta space, the I.S.S. is gonna have Mission Control send up a load of kumquats, but they each hafta have one bite outta them? What'supwiththat?! And they also asked for the 1979 tax returns of some dude named 'Fritz', and a box of unsalted salt, and the weather forecast for some English town called 'Shrewsbury', and then they blew my mind with this-- We gotta send up an angry old man ordering soup at a deli! How are we gonna do that?! What'supwiththat?!"
Indeed. What is up with the I.S.S. when they need information about Shrewsbury???
Luton is where all the troublemakers are!