KABUL – (Business Satire) – Afghanistan’s Sandstone News Agency reports that Taliban spokesperson Sabeen Siri Yasim has informed the world-wide news media that the new regime has shut down three Mickey D’s.
When asked why, Sabeen Siri Yasim simply said “Because we fucking can.”
iRumor’s Vodka Vermicelli responded by saying, “Well that’s not a good reason.” She was quickly escorted out of the building, placed on a two-humped camel, and herded over to the Kabul Airport, where she was put on a cargo plane bound for Boston, Massachusetts.
Sabeen Siri Yasim, later told the Sandstone News Agency that the American woman was lucky that they did not throw her in a darkened room with half a dozen, sex-starved, labido-crazed Taliban terrorists.
SIDENOTE: When on the plane, Miss Vermicelli commented that she has asked the sexual predator/racist Donald Trump hard-hitting questions regarding his acorn-sized pee-pee, so no low-life, showerless, Taliban creeps are going to scare her.