BALTIMORE – (Satire News) – According to the Daily Dirt, Marjorie Taylor Greene was in The Crab Cake Capital of the World stocking up on crab cakes and getting some much-needed work on her pubic region (very private).
She was asked by DD reporter Stormy Coin, why she was looking so tired, drained, haggard, and basically uglier-than-normal.
MTG, who is the most hated female in America, even more than Laura Ingraham, Laura Trump, and Laura Bagasuki, admitted that part of it was because she is missing her ex-boyfriend, Matt “Potato Head” Gaetz.
When asked what the other part was, she fiddled with her dishwater blonde hair, dabbed at her right eyebrow, grabbed her crotch, ala Michael Jackson, and said that she is very sad that her recent nude calendar only sold 6 copies throughout America.
And she quickly noted that 4 were purchased by registered perverts, one by Donald Jonathan Trump (who has yet to register), and one by Mitch McConnell (who allegedly has been impotent since the summer of '97).
SIDENOTE: The Daily Dirt reports that the proceeds from the sale of the 6 calendars will go towards getting McConnell much-needed second-chin removal surgery.
