German Loony freezes his sperm in freezer and his freezer conked out!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Tuesday, 14 September 2021

image for German Loony freezes his sperm in freezer and his freezer conked out!
Be careful what frozen 'cream' you put on your waffel, especially with an ageing 'loony tosser' in the house!

Wiesbaden, Germany: A rather eccentric, scientific experiment, ended in disaster as German Nutter, Friedrich von Schmitz (real name, Freddy Schmitz, common as muck), decided to freeze his sperm in his own freezer so he could be reincarnated after he 'pops his clogs' (German = Uber die Wupper gegangen)!

However, his freezer was quite Jurassic, and after several hiccups, it gave up its ghost, leaving Friedrichs’s sperm to melt into the universe! His missus, not aware of her husband's scientific experiment, saw the melted sperm, and thought it was defrosted whipped cream, so instead of binning it, she gave it to the neighbour's cat, which puked with impunity!

Friedrich, desperate to find his only possibility of becoming immortal, frozen sperm, interrogated his missus as to where his Tupperware box was. She told him his 'cream' was totally off because the neighbour's cat puked after smelling it, so she binned the rest.

After divulging the truth behind his experiment, she called him a right old 'tosser' and called the local loony bin to inquire if there were any places available. However, Friedrich is still determined to continue his experiment, but masturbating everyday hoping to replenish his sperm stock is quite strenuous for an over 80-year-old, so the chances of him being reincarnated as a cat seem pretty thin, his sperm too!

The freezer has now been repaired, and Friedrich’s wife has put a padlock on it, so when he returns home for a quick visit and, a hopeful 'toss', he cannot put his water-thin sperm into deep-freeze mode.

By the way, the neighbour's cat recovered from the dastardly experiment!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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