CUNT-21 Vaccine Rollout Begins In Florida
The total number of confirmed cases of people being total cunts in Florida was nearing the 30 million mark on Thursday, as new infections continued to trend upward in a majority of counties despite an escalating vaccination campaign. Cases rose by…
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Governments Admit They've Been Telling Lies About Things
There was trouble brewing on a massive scale this morning, when a series of news conferences around the globe admitted that various governments had been somewhat economical with the truth, and that most of everything they've ever told you has been a…
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Meghan Markle Says Queen Tried To Flatten Her In A JCB
There was another stunning revelation in the Meghan Markle v. British Royal Family saga yesterday, when the wife of Prince Harry tweeted that, late last year, at the royal estate in Balmoral, the Queen tried to make Markle pancake-shaped, by driving…
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No Funerals In Locale For Nine Days In A Row Now
Local historians were in a state of excited excitement and expectant expectation this morning, after it became clear that, in an unprecedented display of deathlessness, nobody has died in Tapon commune for nine days. The last funeral anyone can re…
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German police investigate mysterious death of barking-mad-dog!
(NOT EDITED) Eifel, Germany: Local German coppers raced to the scene of a tragic death in the early hours of Monday morning as local inhabitants of a tiny hamlet awoke to the sound of silence! Simon and Garfunkel, you must have been Disturbed to let…
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Book Author goes on pub crawl in Timbuktu hoping to spend all his royalties!
(NOT EDITED) Breaking all Covid-19 rules, and regulations, an impoverished, tax-exiled Brit author living in Timbuktu received an E Mail from Kindle about royalties being transferred to his bank account in the UK! "Yippee," he screamed, and decid…
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Soldier Dressed As a Bush Gets Shot By Fellow Soldier
Face Mask Blown Off Face By Strong Gust Of Wind
China Wants To Buy NASA
Man Decides He Is Going To Do No Work Whatsoever Today
Man Got Doll's Leg Back On
#DeleteFacebook! Facebook Group Deleted
"You Don't Have To Live Like A Refugee" played continuously at Greek Refugee Camp
Man Delivered Series Of Huge Farts As He Walked Down Stairs
Following Airline Tragedy, Red Bull Will No Longer Give You Wings
Special Forces From Switzerland Capture The World’s Most Notorious Terrorist Leader
Man Was Forced To Endure Excrutiating Wait Outside Bathroom
Man Has Got His Wife A Dildo For Valentine's Day
Missing Paper Clip Turns Up Safe And Sound
An ordinary office paper clip that was lost during some routine paperwork recently, has turned up safe and sound, calming fears that something sinister might have happened to it. It was discovered nestling underneath a computer keyboard earlier th…
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Man Took Book To Family Gathering
Family get-togethers are usually a source of merriment, but when your in-laws are a bunch of retarded, filthy, backwoods beer monkeys who consider that singing out-of-tune to songs blasted out of 6-foot speakers is the height of cultural taste, you m…
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Joe Biden Calls Putin A Killer
On the diplomacy front today, President Biden called Russia’s Putin, a killer. Pass the blini with a side of caviar. Next move? Russia recalled the Russian ambassador to the United States. Like, wow! Clearly, Russia or Putin is ticked. Forget the…
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Meghan Markle Says Queen Wanted Her Dead
They may be difficult for many people to believe, but the allegations of violent abuse visited upon her by the Queen of England, Elizabeth II, just keep pouring from the mouth of Meghan Markle, like a burst water main. Speaking in confidence to Op…
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Man Got Spunk In His Eye
A man who is a confirmed habitual masturbator has told friends on social media of a recent incident in which an overzealous tug resulted in an 'unexpected outcome', when a blob of semen spurted out of his Jap's Eye into a corresponding orifice on his…
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Wolves Eat Baby That It Was Hoped They Would Raise
Reports from Burnley are indicating that a pack of wolves did not raise a baby they found abandoned in the woods, but, against all logic, ate it instead. Authorities told reporters that they found a knitted pink bobble hat, traces of blood, and ch…
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German cat gets soaked in hailstorm!
(NOT EDITED) March weather can sometimes be quite distressing for humans, and other animals. However, cats are especially sensitive to sudden outbursts of rain, snow, hail, and hate wet things descending rapidly from stormy heavens! One farm cat c…
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Man Has 'That Monday Morning Feeling' On Tuesday
We all know 'that Monday morning feeling', that general detestable loathing at the start of a new week at work which, after a relaxing weekend spent at home or doing some other pleasant activity, grates on one like the proverbial fingernails being sc…
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Dutch Prostitutes claim, "A Blow Job" is a job just like any Job, and demand furlough payments!!
(NOT EDITED) Holland, wonderful nation where 'anything goes' (in), smoking pot, sex between adults of all variations, Dykes on bikes, Red-Light district in the middle of Amsterdam, Prime Ministers taking their caravans on holidays, in fact, a totally…
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Man Nearly Shit Himself During Journey To Work
A man who was being conveyed by motorcycle to his place of employment by his nasty, brainless, not to mention lazy step-daughter this morning, has said the youngster drove the vehicle so erratically and carelessly, that, several times, he feared for…
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Man Is Being Treated Like A Sex Slave
A married, middle-aged man who has been described as "having a tendency to invent the wildest exaggerations" has claimed that he is suffering the worst oppression imaginable, and being treated merely as a sex slave. The unfortunate individual is M…
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Man Buys Yellow Shoes After Vendor Tells Him They'll Be A Hit With The Ladies
A man who might be best described as 'a bit gullible', has revealed how he was persuaded by the vendor in a shoe shop to buy a pair of yellow shoes which, said the vendor, would be an instant hit with females, and would make him a 'lady magnet'. M…
Read full storyLatest Spoof World News Headlines
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Mexico Reveals Its Stance on Atheist Women Who Pose in The Nude
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Man Made Mistake Of Spitting Whilst On Motorbike
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'Parisienne Walkways' Heard At Local Wedding
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Car skids on black ice and cures driver's back agony!
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International "Day of Hate" Proclaimed for Sunday, April 4
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Taliban Ready To Call It A Day
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Man Has Started To Wear Face Mask In Bed
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Dog eats Dog in Germany!
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Man Paid In Peanuts Concerned About Transfer Of Salary Into His Bank Account
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Adolf Hitler Still Missing
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Fish caught swimming on German motorway!
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Man Was Almost Late For Work
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Writer Was Victim Of One-Star Ratings Attack
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Germany passes legislation making farting in public legal!
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Teacher Resorted To Game Of Bingo To 'Kill Time'
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Working Class Knobhead Accused Of Being 'Upper Class Twit'
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Needle In Haystack Found
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Man With Herpes On His Top Lip Told His Wife "It's Nowt"
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Man To Be Paid In Peanuts
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Man Forced To Economize After Further Salary Cut
