Coronavirus Resistant To All Attempts To Change Its Name
The deadly Coronavirus, which was officially named by the World Health Organization (WHO) as Covid-19 earlier this week, is strongly resisting all attempts to rename it, and has been appearing in many places still under its original moniker. The v...
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Man Uses 'Bum Gun' To Clean His Anus
A man who used an Asian-style toilet has revealed how, after completing his business, he didn't use toilet tissue to clean his bottom, but, instead, utilised the hand-held water jet - known as a Bum Gun - to complete the task. In Western countries...
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Valentine's Day Cancelled Due To You-Know-What
Chocolate manufacturers, as well as greeting card and flower sellers all over the world are in uproar this morning, after an international ban on celebrating Valentine's Day came into force, due to the possible spread of infection of the deadly You-k...
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Greta Thornberg releases new book “My Campfire” and sets up Greta Youth of angry teenagers
Angry Swedish climate activist Greta Thornberg has released her first book, warning of the dangers of traditional cooking methods, such as wood-burning stoves (used in some countries, like India), or gas and electric ovens, which leave a significant...
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Pumpkin Chips Were Even Tastier Than Onion Chips!
A man who, only last week, revealed that some onion chips he purchased and ate during a roadside stop on the way home from a market were "delicious", has now said that a packet of pumpkin chips he bought a few days later were even more tasty than the...
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News Of The Future – Trump's Second Impeachment
For the second time in the long tenure of his so-called presidency, President Trump has been called into question via an impeachment process. The difference this time, however, is that the impeachment has been put into play by a force outside the leg...
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Man Still Doesn't Know What He Wants To Do When He Leaves School
Canadian PM blames Trump for downed Ukraine jet, and also blames Winston Churchill for deaths of Allied soldiers during WW2
World leaders agree that Iranian Revolutionary Guardsman accidentally picked rocket from store, accidentally put it into a rocket launcher, accidentally aimed it at Ukrainian passenger plane and accidentally fired – it was all an accident!
Death Row Cat Evades Man's Attempts To Capture It
Man Feels He Isn't Appreciated By His Ducks
Man Wasn't Looking For Asian Singles, But Thought He'd Look Into It Anyway
George Orwell alive and well in undisclosed location now under investigation
Man Spends Hours Popping Bubblewrap With His Children
Man Pissed All Over Toilet Seat
Drone Strike Takes Out Large Iranian Suicide Cockroach Suspected Of Biting Melania Trump
Juan Guaido climbs fence into National Assembly; rips ass out of trousers
Earring Manufacturers produces gene to give Humans 6 Ears
Coronavirus Could Mutate Into Black Death
Scientists in China working on discovering an antidote for the Coronavirus have said that it is conceivable that it could yet mutate into the Bubonic Plague, or Black Death, which ravaged the world's population in the 14th century. The Black Deat...
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Man-Coronavirus far more debilitating says WHO
The World Health Organisation stated last night, that, according to research, men suffering from the virulent, coronavirus disease will experience debilitating symptoms far in excess of those suffered by women A WHO spokesman told a news conferenc...
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Power Blackout Ruined Man's Breakfast Routine
A power blackout at a most inconvenient time this morning, put paid to one man's regular breakfast arrangement, and forced him to make urgent changes to his routine. Electricity to properties in the Tapon area of Battambang was cut at around 6:00a...
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Man Finds Tweezers Under Mattress After Long Interval
A pair of tweezers that had long been forgotten about after going missing more than six months ago, have turned up safe and well underneath a mattress. The tweezers, which were sometimes used by their owner to pluck white hairs from his head, and,...
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Meghan Markle found abandoned, tied to tree in Canada, hungry and with note saying “Sorry we couldn’t look after her anymore, please take care of her”
The RSPCA has been brought in after the discovery of the Duchess of Sussex tied to a maple tree in British Columbia, looking worn and haggard, and with a sad, handwritten note in her mouth. The note reads “Sorry, we couldn’t look after Duchess any...
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Bat Soup Taken Off Menu At Chinese Restaurants
Government authorities in China have acted quickly in the wake of the deadly Coronavirus outbreak, and have placed an "absolute and total ban" on the serving of bat soup in restaurants, it has been reported. The virus, which is thought to have bee...
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Chinese Germ Warfare Program Coming Along Nicely
Authorities in Beijing have said that the Chinese germ warfare program, one result of which has been the Coronavirus outbreak in the city of Wuhan, is coming along nicely, thank you. Details of the program are sketchy, but one of the agents being...
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Man Visited Market, But Was Scared Shitless About Contracting Coronavirus
A man who visited a market in southeast Asia with his wife on Sunday, has revealed how he was literally in fear of his life, due to the presence in the market of so many Chinese people who could have been infected with the Coronavirus. Moys Kenwoo...
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Man Ate Onion Chips, And Thoroughly Enjoyed Them
A man who was feeling a bit peckish, and who spied a pack of onion-flavored chips in a roadside shop, bought and ate them, and was heartily impressed with the product! The incident occurred as Moys Kenwood, 56, was travelling back from Battambang...
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Excitement across Middle East as President Trump’s Peace Plan promises all Palestinians in the Occupied Territories one free Domino’s Pizza with every pizza purchased for equal or greater value (subject to availability)
The General Assembly of the United Nations erupted into spontaneous applause following news that the unrest in the Middle East could soon end, after President Donald Trump revealed an exciting new deal for Israelis and Palestinians. Standing next...
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Bolton flees to Canada claiming Assange as precedent
Insider sources indicate Mr. Bolton is claiming he is in the position of Julian Assange, currently languishing in Belmarsh Prison, London. Mr. Bolton was spotted in a Continental Trailways bus entering Canada at the Detroit-Windsor border wearing...
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Chinese New Year Called Off Due To Filthy Spitting Habit
Authorities in Beijing have called off celebrations for the Chinese New Year, due to the complete lack of hygiene practised by the greater majority of people in the country. The government said that they are especially concerned about spitting.
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Man's Wife Climbed Tree As If She Were A Chimp
There were stares of disbelief, and at least one instance of jaw-dropping amazement late this afternoon, as a woman ascended a tree rather in the style of a monkey, to the absolute astonishment of those watching. The incident took place as Moys Ke...
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Queen Elizabeth to Head Ku Klux Klan
Sources in the United States and Britain reveal that Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth is poised to be appointed as honorary figurehead of the Ku Klux Klan. An interviewer in London spoke with the Queen as she was preparing to fly to New Orleans to meet...
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Cockerel Broke Duckling's Legs, So Man Dealt With It
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Man Feels He Is Being Pressured Into Getting An Arab Girlfriend
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"Don't Make Me Do Stuff" Movement gaining traction.
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Man Went To Bed In Tracksuit, Scarf And Ski Hat
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Man's Father-in-law Has Become Nocturnal
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Frustrated Part-Time Coworkers Find Proper Way To Vent, Successfully Communicate Feelings, And Reach Ultimate Understanding
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Man Could Die Any Minute
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Assange removal program fully explained
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More Sinkholes Opening Up Because The Earth Is Hungry
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London Mayor Sadiq Khan demands that London should be part of the EU
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New Study Shows Opioids Really Not That Bad, Good For Shift Workers
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Rudolph Files Anti-Bullying Suit Against All the Other Reindeer
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Man In Dispute With Wife, Over Motorbike
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Christmas Is On The Way
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Santa Claus Considering Sending In Sick Note
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New set of love letters between Trump and Kim exposed by disturbed CIA whistleblower
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Duckling Now Doing Much Better, Thank You For Asking
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Boy Fell Into Patch Of Nettles
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New Year To Have The Lowest 4-Digit Total For Nine Years
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Man Can't Seem To Get Rid Of Phlegm From His Chest
