MARILYN MONROE, California – (Satire News) – The hundreds of California wildfires continue to burn out of control.
Ipso Facto News reports that meteorologists have verified that some of the fires including the Tinsel Town fire and the Avocado Valley fire have reached temperatures of 141 degrees (in the shade).
Firefighters are using water that was purchased from the city of Chicago as well as agua (water) from Mexico’s Baja California Bay.
One firefighter identified as Wilbur Saltalino of Sausalito, said that he spoke to several local fishermen, who informed him that they are catching fish (e.g. rainbow trout, flounder, tilapia, and sardines) that are already cooked and ready to eat!
Meanwhile, IPN reporter Redwood Fingerboo, stated that Bezos-Musk Inc., has donated millions of dollars worth of fire axes, water hoses, push brooms, and Hostess Twinkies to the brave firefighters.
SIDENOTE: The Marilyn Monroe ABC TV affiliate, Channel 38, reports that the fire is so huge that it can actually be seen from Uranus.