Berkeley Profs Sell Endorsements, Images and Classroom Naming Rights
Berkeley, CA. Exclusive to The Spoof. After Gov. Gavin Newsom signed a bill allowing California university athletes to take pay for endorsements and images, the faculty senate here at Berkeley decided that the university's professors could supplement...
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H&M To Consider Namechange After Confusion With Famous Footballer
The fashion clothing retailer, H&M, are said to be considering a namechange for their brand, after it was revealed that many of their customers are under the impression that the company is run by the Manchester United and England central defender...
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Trump Will Publish New Book, "Art of the Steal"
Mar-A-Lago, FL "Well, it looks like people really admire my business acumen since they elected me President even though I've lost a billion dollars. So I've taken some time off from my grueling job as President to have a ghostwriter pen me a new book...
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Trump contemplates hostile takeover of Greenland
Despite the insistence of Greenland’s government that the semi-autonomous Danish territory is not for sale, President Donald Trump is pushing ahead with efforts to purchase Greenland with or without its approval. Describing the acquisition as “ess...
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Apple Unveils "Stop-Watch Legal Phone" for Lawyers
Silicon Valley, California. Apple's new "Stop-Watch Legal Phone" was rolled out today for its initial demonstration at the monthly meeting of the Silicon Valley Bar association. The attorneys present were ecstatic. The "Stop-Watch Legal Phone" is...
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Business Roundup with The Money
"Hi, this is Geoff Dosh." "And I'm Geoff Wonga." "Welcome to The Money. Let's have a look at all the money. In Britain, the money was down. In the EU, the money was unchanged. In the US and China the money was up. Tune in tomorrow to check on h...
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Oil Discovered In Man's Back Garden
Debenhams Hull Store To Remain Open, Much To The Relief Of Man's Mother
Unproductive Aussies farted out of their jobs
Drug Cartel Sues Energy Drink Corporation over Trademark Infringement
More Than Half Of Denmark Is Now Built From Lego
China Tells Trump "Stop Punching Yourself!"
Man In Boardroom Smelt It, But Had Not Dealt It
Old Bag Shopping Trolley Sales At 40-Year High
Bezos Takes Over National Enquirer and Merges it With Washington Post
Valentine's Day Cards Withdrawn From Shelves In 'Porn' Row
France exports explosive spud to Hong Kong!
Trump Plans To Build Casinos Along Length Of Border
New Prime Minister Boris Johnson Pledges to Nationalise Wetherspoons
Bombast, bullshit and bollocks were the order of the day in Parliament today, as so-called Prime Minister Boris Johnson outlined his plans for the future of the not-so-United Kingdom. After a dressing-down from Her Majesty the Queen on Wednesday a...
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Democrats Push $289 Minimum Wage in Campaigns
WASHINGTON DC - Earlier in June of this year, Democrat 2020 candidates for President supported $15 per hour as a Federal minimum wage. In the US Presidential Election of 2016, Hillary Clinton had backed a $12 per hour minimum wage to be enforced acro...
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Deliveroo Expands Operations to Cater for Lunar Explorers
Deliveroo is the fast-food delivery service that you either love or hate. You love Deliveroo if you're a lazy bastard who can't be arsed to get out of bed in the morning to cook breakfast, or pour milk on your corn flakes. You love Deliveroo if y...
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Trump Repeals Newton's Laws of Thermodynamics
Science Town, USA President Donald Trump has announced at a press conference that he's just heard about Newton's Laws of Thermodynamics. He said, "Who is this Newton guy? He's not even American and he's setting laws for the American people? I had my...
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Sanctions Weekly Round-up
It's been a busy week in the world of Sanctions, and there has been so much activity, that we thought it only right and proper that we devote some space to the topic, to show which countries have been doing the finger-wagging, and which are the ones...
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US Cigarette Production Goes Into Overdrive
US manufacturers of cigarettes have said that thousands of new jobs will soon be available, after it was announced, yesterday, that e-cigarettes were to be outlawed in San Francisco. Cigarette manufacturers immediately began advertizing for staff...
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Man Decides To Become A Qualified Accountant, But Then...
Aimlessly perusing an online news website, this morning, a man was confronted with an advertisement that invited him to become a Qualified Accountant, so he decided he would look further into the lucrative prospect. Moys Kenwood, 55, quickly cli...
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Father's Day Card In Card Shop Window Raised Questions
A man wandering aimlessly past a card shop window during his break, saw a card which made him double-take, then triple-take, tut, shake his head as he became incredulous, and then walk away thinking "fucking silly cunts!" Moys Kenwood, 51, noticed...
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Man In Potato Chips Advert Was Wearing Far Too Much Lipstick
A male actor in a TV advertisement for some potato chips, was wearing an extraordinary amount of lipstick, leading one viewer to think, not unreasonably, that the man might have been a homosexual. The chips, Jacks, a product by Calbee, are delicio...
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Marks & Spencer Store Closure Will Leave Man's Mother 'Nowhere' To Buy Her Knickers
The permanent closure today of one of the most popular clothes shopping stores in one city's history, has presented a local woman with a huge problem in her underwear department. The store in Hull's Whitefriargate has traded in the city since befo...
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Britain's cummerbund industry expecting post-Brexit boom
While many are predicting doom and gloom after Britain leaves the EU, at least one industry is hoping that it will thrive in the new order. Cummerbunds are worn by everyone from waiters to butlers, to people who have to hire one for a formal event. T...
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World's ice cream supply will run out in 20 years
For many it is a rare treat, a delicious cool snack to be enjoyed on a hot British summer's day alongside a jellied rat. For others, it is a vile headache-inducing white paste served in a wet cardboard container that tastes of shoes. But whether you...
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Jamie Oliver Has Come A Cropper With His Restaurant Chain
When a large restaurant chain starts losing money, and eventually goes into administration, there would usually have been some signs along the way for the owners that would have helped them take action to protect the business and its hardworking staf...
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Christmas Sales To Start On Christmas Day
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Nazis Sponsoring Nordic Walking Exercise Equipment?
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Upskirty Stick To Be Removed From Stores
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Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou Is A Bit Tasty!
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Party Time as Makers of Viagra, Chapstick and Sensodyne Toothpaste Combine
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Jeff Bezos Divorce Proves Money Can't Buy Happiness
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Gov't Shutdown Inspires Gemini Motors to Order "Work without Pay"
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Russian Hackers Manipulating Dow Jones Averages
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Concerned Wisconsin Resident Determined To End 'Abusive' Company Strategy Of Selling Shitty, Expired Beer To People Who Live In The Midwest
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Boston University May Reclassify Major in "Economics"
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Trump Breaks Dow With Premature Chinese Tariff Promise
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List of Future Top Jobs For the Next Generation Includes Many New Ones Not on List Before
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Amazon To Lay Off Staff As Pre-Christmas 'Rush' Doesn't Happen
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Chinese Takeaway Has Opened On The Moon
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Sears to Merge with Upscale 99 Cent Store
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A Bag Of Chips Could Be £3 After Brexit
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Marks & Spencer Staff Barricade Themselves Inside Shop
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City Centre Retail Success Story Keeps On Growing
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Wetherspoon's Profits Plunge by 19%: "Nothing to do with Brexit"
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Korean Management Skills
