Funny story: Business News: Goldman Sachs employees to be allowed to carry out duties with their cocks out

Business News: Goldman Sachs employees to be allowed to carry out duties with their cocks out

In a surprise move, the international banking giant, Goldman Sachs, has announced that their recent initiative to introduce a more relaxed dress code is to be extended to allow male employees to have their cocks hanging out during working hours at th...

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Funny story: Business Roundup with The Money

Business Roundup with The Money

"Hi, this is Geoff Dosh." "And I'm Geoff Wonga." "Welcome to The Money. Let's have a look at all the money. In Britain, the money was down. In the EU, the money was unchanged. In the US and China the money was up. Tune in tomorrow to check on h...

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Funny story: New Prime Minister Boris Johnson Pledges to Nationalise Wetherspoons

New Prime Minister Boris Johnson Pledges to Nationalise Wetherspoons

Bombast, bullshit and bollocks were the order of the day in Parliament today, as so-called Prime Minister Boris Johnson outlined his plans for the future of the not-so-United Kingdom. After a dressing-down from Her Majesty the Queen on Wednesday a...

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Funny story: Deliveroo Expands Operations to Cater for Lunar Explorers

Deliveroo Expands Operations to Cater for Lunar Explorers

Deliveroo is the fast-food delivery service that you either love or hate. You love Deliveroo if you're a lazy bastard who can't be arsed to get out of bed in the morning to cook breakfast, or pour milk on your corn flakes. You love Deliveroo if y...

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Funny story: Democrats Push $289 Minimum Wage in Campaigns

Democrats Push $289 Minimum Wage in Campaigns

WASHINGTON DC - Earlier in June of this year, Democrat 2020 candidates for President supported $15 per hour as a Federal minimum wage. In the US Presidential Election of 2016, Hillary Clinton had backed a $12 per hour minimum wage to be enforced acro...

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Funny story: Trump Repeals Newton's Laws of Thermodynamics

Trump Repeals Newton's Laws of Thermodynamics

Science Town, USA President Donald Trump has announced at a press conference that he's just heard about Newton's Laws of Thermodynamics. He said, "Who is this Newton guy? He's not even American and he's setting laws for the American people? I had my...

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Funny story: Sanctions Weekly Round-up

Sanctions Weekly Round-up

It's been a busy week in the world of Sanctions, and there has been so much activity, that we thought it only right and proper that we devote some space to the topic, to show which countries have been doing the finger-wagging, and which are the ones...

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Funny story: US Cigarette Production Goes Into Overdrive

US Cigarette Production Goes Into Overdrive

US manufacturers of cigarettes have said that thousands of new jobs will soon be available, after it was announced, yesterday, that e-cigarettes were to be outlawed in San Francisco. Cigarette manufacturers immediately began advertizing for staff...

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Funny story: Man Decides To Become A Qualified Accountant, But Then...

Man Decides To Become A Qualified Accountant, But Then...

Aimlessly perusing an online news website, this morning, a man was confronted with an advertisement that invited him to become a Qualified Accountant, so he decided he would look further into the lucrative prospect. Moys Kenwood, 55, quickly cli...

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Funny story: Man's Shoes Are Indestructible

Man's Shoes Are Indestructible

A pair of cheap shoes bought at a market almost twenty years ago have lasted much longer than their owner expected them to, it's been revealed. The pair of rubberized, slip-on-style beach shoes cost only 99 Baht when purchased at Bangkok's Chatuch...

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Funny story: Father's Day Card In Card Shop Window Raised Questions

Father's Day Card In Card Shop Window Raised Questions

A man wandering aimlessly past a card shop window during his break, saw a card which made him double-take, then triple-take, tut, shake his head as he became incredulous, and then walk away thinking "fucking silly cunts!" Moys Kenwood, 51, noticed...

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Funny story: Man In Potato Chips Advert Was Wearing Far Too Much Lipstick

Man In Potato Chips Advert Was Wearing Far Too Much Lipstick

A male actor in a TV advertisement for some potato chips, was wearing an extraordinary amount of lipstick, leading one viewer to think, not unreasonably, that the man might have been a homosexual. The chips, Jacks, a product by Calbee, are delicio...

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Funny story: Jamie Oliver Has Come A Cropper With His Restaurant Chain

Jamie Oliver Has Come A Cropper With His Restaurant Chain

When a large restaurant chain starts losing money, and eventually goes into administration, there would usually have been some signs along the way for the owners that would have helped them take action to protect the business and its hardworking staf...

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Funny story: Oil Discovered In Man's Back Garden

Oil Discovered In Man's Back Garden

The discovery of oil, the commodity that the whole world would like to get its greasy hands on, is always momentous, and it was no different last Sunday afternoon in the Battambang commune of Tapon, when a resident doing some garden maintenance had t...

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Funny story: Marks & Spencer Store Closure Will Leave Man's Mother 'Nowhere' To Buy Her Knickers

Marks & Spencer Store Closure Will Leave Man's Mother 'Nowhere' To Buy Her Knickers

The permanent closure today of one of the most popular clothes shopping stores in one city's history, has presented a local woman with a huge problem in her underwear department. The store in Hull's Whitefriargate has traded in the city since befo...

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Funny story: World's ice cream supply will run out in 20 years

World's ice cream supply will run out in 20 years

For many it is a rare treat, a delicious cool snack to be enjoyed on a hot British summer's day alongside a jellied rat. For others, it is a vile headache-inducing white paste served in a wet cardboard container that tastes of shoes. But whether you...

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Funny story: Britain's cummerbund industry expecting post-Brexit boom

Britain's cummerbund industry expecting post-Brexit boom

While many are predicting doom and gloom after Britain leaves the EU, at least one industry is hoping that it will thrive in the new order. Cummerbunds are worn by everyone from waiters to butlers, to people who have to hire one for a formal event. T...

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Funny story: Debenhams Hull Store To Remain Open, Much To The Relief Of Man's Mother

Debenhams Hull Store To Remain Open, Much To The Relief Of Man's Mother

There was relief in one Hull household earlier today, when it was revealed that the city's Debenhams store was not on a list of 22 stores targeted for closure during 2020. The news was 'music to the ears' of Val Kenwood, 82, who goes to the Debenh...

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Funny story: More Than Half Of Denmark Is Now Built From Lego

More Than Half Of Denmark Is Now Built From Lego

It's been confirmed that significantly more than half of all buildings constructed in Denmark since 2001 have been built from Lego. The figure is actually 97%. Lego is the Danish company that produces the children's interlocking plastic buildin...

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Funny story: China Tells Trump "Stop Punching Yourself!"

China Tells Trump "Stop Punching Yourself!"

WASHINGTON-US. Idiot President Donald Trump on the topic of his imbecilic trade war. Beijing has stated that the United States has been losing billions of dollars from its economy because of US capitalists who have been pursuing higher profits, by...

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