New Toothpaste Has Controversial Name
A new toothpaste that, it's been claimed, offers extraordinary and revolutionary dental health protection, is at the center of a war of words between dentists - over its name, KUNNY. The toothpaste, which has come through much stringent testing wi...Read full story
Trump Brothers Withdraw All of the U.S.Treasury's Money and Lose it All on Roulette
Las Vegas, NV Donald Trump, Jr., Eric Trump, and their brother-in-law, Jared Kushner, talked Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin into giving them a blank treasury check to bet with because they had a "sure thing." "Well, Donnie and I were talking ab...Read full story
Still MORE Stuff from the Progressive Shoppers’ Mart – The Premier E-tailing Site for Enlightened Ideologues
Back by popular demand! We’ve been busy searching and nabbing the latest gems from your cherished lefty-progressive radicals. And now they’re here online! As always, to ensure you get your share of these treasures, you’ll need to move faster than...Read full story
Ponzi Schemes Will Be the Next Big Investment During the Trump Administration
Economists have predicted that once the economy begins to tank due to high tariffs and voodoo trickle-down theories, some of the most popular investments will once more be Ponzi Schemes as investors once again look for a sure thing, with low investm...Read full story
Stock Market Goes Down, Then Up, Then Down Again.
The stock market went up, then down, then up, then down, then up, then down. It then rose before dropping. This was quickly followed by an increase, which was interrupted by a fall. The market then went up, then back down. It went up, down, u...Read full story
Little Chef Boss Sees Brexit Dividend from No Deal Chaos
Little Chef chairman, ardent Brexiteer, Conservative party donor, tax exile and fast food entrepreneur, Sir Tom Arto-Ketchup spoke out today about his hopes for a Brexit Dividend as a result of a no deal Brexit and Operation Stack bringing the roads...Read full story
Fake FriendSurprise, surprise! Apparently, Omarosa was Trump’s fake friend. This is definitely sad.
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Joined: 07 April 2005
Stories Written: 9
Joined: 07 April 2005
Stories Written: 9
Shoplifting Now UK's Fastest-growing Industry
There was brighter news for industry today, when it was announced that, despite poor performances in nearly all the UK's industry sectors, there was one major area of growth - shoplifting. Whilst energy, manufacturing, the services sector, financi...Read full story
UK will get fatter and fatter after Brexit as junk food from the US replaces healthy Italian pasta!
The Beast from the East is about to be eclipsed as a tsunami approaches from the West smothering everything with fatty and sugar-filled food from the US!! A trade deal is imminent with the UK's greatest allies across the Atlantic and, instead of h...Read full story
Dicken's three ghosts now doing everything by email
The ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and yet to come now do all of their work by email, it has been revealed. Speaking to us, for the first time since 2008, the three ghosts have told us that due to the amount of greed, and lack of basic humanity,...Read full story
Supermarket Mergers, Pacts And Other Such Shit
There was a swift reaction to the news earlier this week that supermarket giants Asda and Sainsbury were to merge, when several other major players also announced their own intentions to join forces. First to react was Tesco, who revealed that the...Read full story
US chickens doing a runner in Brit Chicken Run!
It seems that US over-bred chickens are not only being prepared for becoming nuggets in a global Chicken massacre machine, no! Due to mass breeding and pumping hormones through their tiny bodies, their brains are chemically developing too, and now in...Read full story
Am I crazy, or am I lead deficient?
Tel Aviv IL: Pharmer Pharmaceuticals is drawing criticism over an alleged breakthrough psychiatric drug which is touted as a first in it's class. There are currently 3 groups of medications used for epilepsy, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia. Amon...Read full story
Man starts artisan coat hanger business
Tarquin Smythe Brassington Heckingthump III from Chutney on the Fritz has launched his own artisan coat-hanging business. Heckingthump III told us, ‘From where I see it, a house overlooking the better part of the Thames, the times are just right f...Read full story
Chinese pot noodles hit by pizza tsunami!
The basic diet of billions of Chinese is being swept from under their bare feet by an 'Italian tsunami' causing a 'Domino' effect on the nutritional foundations of the most populated country on the planet! Chinese pot noodles, eaten by the rich, t...Read full story