Candy Hearts Company Says That Democrats Account For 91% Of Their Sales
DOVER, Delaware - The Have A Heart Candy Hearts Company has just stated that the sales of their Valentine's Day candy hearts have gone through the roof. A spokesperson for the candy company, Lucretia Ingersoll, 63, said that she has worked for the...
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Wilbur Ross Has Lost His Marbles
The US commerce secretary, Wilbur Ross, has been speaking on television and appears, very much, to have lost his marbles. Interestingly, the top of his head looks a bit like a marble. Mr Ross, talking to Fox Business News, commented that the de...
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President Trump Buys 13 McDonald's Restaurants
Washington, D.C. – Donald Trump has informed Ipso Facto Illustrated Magazine that he has signed an agreement to purchase 13 McDonald’s Restaurants. The president stated that he already owns 270,301 shares in the hamburger chain. “Look, it is no s...
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Flybe To Offer New Service To Oblivion
Troubled UK airline, Flybe, in the midst of financial catastrophe, has, this morning, announced plans to offer passengers a new service with flights to an increasingly popular destination - Oblivion. The airline has crippling debts, and cannot loo...
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Harry And Meghan To Do Promotional Work For H&M
Stressed-out royal couple, Prince Harry and his wife Meghan, have announced that, as part of their first foray into the world of work since stepping back from their monarchical duties, they will be signing contracts to do promotional work with clothi...
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The Queen To Take Over From Ray Winstone As New Face Of Bet365
In an effort to shake off her royal shackles, and to 'get real' in the world of work, Buckingham Palace has announced that Her Majesty the Queen has been offered a position in advertising, and will take over the role presently occupied by former acto...
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Berkeley Profs Sell Endorsements, Images and Classroom Naming Rights
Trump Will Publish New Book, "Art of the Steal"
Apple Unveils "Stop-Watch Legal Phone" for Lawyers
Democrats Push $289 Minimum Wage in Campaigns
Trump contemplates hostile takeover of Greenland
Deliveroo Expands Operations to Cater for Lunar Explorers
New Prime Minister Boris Johnson Pledges to Nationalise Wetherspoons
Business Roundup with The Money
Man Decides To Become A Qualified Accountant, But Then...
Trump Repeals Newton's Laws of Thermodynamics
US Cigarette Production Goes Into Overdrive
H&M To Consider Namechange After Confusion With Famous Footballer
Internal documents reveal ice cream industry lobby behind Illinois weed legalization
If residents thought the effort to legalize weed in the state of Illinois was an entirely grass-roots-organized movement, then it might come as something of a buzzkill to learn that powerful ice cream industry lobbying actually spearheaded the push.
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Greggs Staff To Get £100 Voucher After "Phenomenal Year"
Staff at Britain's best-loved pastry shop, Greggs, are to share in a £7million windfall bonus that has come after what the firm called "a phenomenal year" in trading. Shareholders received a £35m special dividend in October. Chief executive, An...
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Etch a Sketch cafe launches festive Coffee
Kevin Wilkes, the 24-year-old owner of Chutney on the Fritz's latest coffee emporium, Sketchy, has revealed his new range of seasonal drinks. There is the Marshmallow Maximiser, which is just an extra two marshmallows with a Hot Chocolate - perfec...
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Michael Buble CDs to become Legal Tender
Following high-level discussions in Parliament, with talks of a post-Brexit financial catastrophe, politicians have revealed that Michael Buble CDs will become legal tender in 2020. The CDs often kept following divorces, and relationship breakups,...
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Man Is Sick And Tired Of Seeing The Same Advert
A man has complained about what he says is a systematic attempt to make him buy stuff, after he was repeatedly exposed to a particular advertizement whilst using the internet this very morning. The man, Moys Kenwood, 56, told of how, throughout hi...
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Inventor Of Battery Packs with Itty Bitty Screws Holding Them Shut Hiding In Afghanistan Cave
Cai Zeng, the inventor of those little double "A" and triple "A" battery packs, held shut with eyeglass-sized screws, fled his home in Szechuan, China, fearing for his life, due to worldwide frustration with his invention. His invention? The "scr...
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Donald Trump Talking Doll - With New Added Phrases - Expected To Be Christmas Bestseller
The festive season is upon us once more, and as parents desperately wrack their brains for ideas to excite and surprise their children, help is at hand, as this year's most popular toy is set to be the new, updated Donald Trump Talking Doll. The d...
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TheSpoof.com To End Its Association With Prince Andrew
In the last few minutes, it's been revealed that, due to the ongoing furore with regard to some rather potentially damaging underage sex allegations, the satirical news website TheSpoof.com has decided to drop all its current associations with the ar...
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Washington Post - "Remembers Softer Side of War"
WASHINGTON DC - It's often considered poor etiquette to "speak ill of the dead", and the staff of the Washington Post newspaper has gone the extra mile to show kindness when the Cold Hand of Death reached out on the field of battle. In this case, the...
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New App Helps You Learn A New Language In As Little As Two Years
A new phone app on the market next month enables you to learn and speak a new language fluently - to native speaker standard - in as little as two years, it has been claimed. The app - DIY - explores a revolutionary new method of learning, which,...
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Stock Market Soars as House Moves Toward Impeachment
Wall Street, NYC. Special to The Spoof. At the stock market's opening, Friday morning, following a vote in the House of Representatives to open an impeachment inquiry, the Dow Jones Industrial Average rose instantly over 200 points, and neared an all...
Read full storyLatest Spoof Business Brief Headlines
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Unproductive Aussies farted out of their jobs
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Debenhams Hull Store To Remain Open, Much To The Relief Of Man's Mother
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More Than Half Of Denmark Is Now Built From Lego
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World's ice cream supply will run out in 20 years
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Oil Discovered In Man's Back Garden
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Marks & Spencer Store Closure Will Leave Man's Mother 'Nowhere' To Buy Her Knickers
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Jamie Oliver Has Come A Cropper With His Restaurant Chain
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Man In Potato Chips Advert Was Wearing Far Too Much Lipstick
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Sanctions Weekly Round-up
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Singapore Airlines Haults All Flights Due To Coronavirus Outbreak
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Karl Lagerfeld Cat To Make Changes To Brand
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City Centre Retail Success Story Keeps On Growing
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Boston University May Reclassify Major in "Economics"
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Man In Boardroom Smelt It, But Had Not Dealt It
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Wetherspoon's Profits Plunge by 19%: "Nothing to do with Brexit"
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Korean Management Skills
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Drug Cartel Sues Energy Drink Corporation over Trademark Infringement
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Britain's cummerbund industry expecting post-Brexit boom
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China Tells Trump "Stop Punching Yourself!"
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Man's Shoes Are Indestructible
