Business Brief

21 March 2019

Man In Boardroom Smelt It, But Had Not Dealt It

A man in a boardroom meeting has told how he became aware of an odious smell that had nothing to do with him. Michael Brackley, 26, an executive trainee at Pratley-Whiffer Marketing Consultants explained that he was in a group policy meeting on ma...

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Wetherspoon's Profits Plunge by 19%: "Nothing to do with Brexit"

Profits at old gits pub chain JD Wetherspoon fell 19% in the six months to the end of January. Wetherspoon's weirdo chairman, Brexit cheerleader Tim Martin, the last living proponent of the mullet, hairstyle of the gods, immediately announced that it...

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Bing uses "underhanded" ruse to gain user traffic

Desperate for any responses from the public that could indicate interactive participation, Bing has initiated an underhanded “fake news” feature, calling it, in wee letters the size of which makes them nearly impossible to read, “This Day,” followed...

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Concerned Wisconsin Resident Determined To End 'Abusive' Company Strategy Of Selling Shitty, Expired Beer To People Who Live In The Midwest

Funny story: Concerned Wisconsin Resident Determined To End 'Abusive' Company Strategy Of Selling Shitty, Expired Beer To People Who Live In The Midwest

Crawford County. After consuming two bottles of cheap wine and some tequila, smoking 3 packs of Marlboro Reds, and then relentlessly draining 28 cans of 'Natural Ice' beer, local resident, Brad Harvell, fell down on the front doorstep of his house b...

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Fatties on trains and planes complain, but bogs for 'skinnies' remain!

"Brexit Dividend" Souvenir Shops To Open in Channel Ports - A Spoof Exclusive

Trump to Print More Money to Pay Off the National Debt

Marks & Spencer Staff Barricade Themselves Inside Shop

List of Future Top Jobs For the Next Generation Includes Many New Ones Not on List Before

Trump Breaks Dow With Premature Chinese Tariff Promise

Valentine's Day Cards Withdrawn From Shelves In 'Porn' Row

Nazis Sponsoring Nordic Walking Exercise Equipment?

Upskirty Stick To Be Removed From Stores

Spoof Classifieds- Position Available, Climate Science Editor for Right Wing Blog Site

Gov't Shutdown Inspires Gemini Motors to Order "Work without Pay"

Brexit Couple To Divorce

Wetherspoons Share Price Tumbles as Balham Pub Closes. Brexit "Not to Blame"

Trading in shares of old gits' pub chain JD Wetherspoons was suspended today after their value crashed on news that one of its flagship pubs The Moon Under Water in the London borough of Balham had been closed without notice. Although it was named...

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Brexit Analysis Impossible Until After Brexit, Claims Man Who Only Reads Sports Pages

The consequences, ramifications, and repercussions of Britain leaving the European Union cannot, and will not, be known until after the event has happened, claims a man who knows absolutely fuck all about economics. Moys Kenwood, 55, said that, as...

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Stock Market Goes Down, Then Up, Then Down Again.

The stock market went up, then down, then up, then down, then up, then down. It then rose before dropping. This was quickly followed by an increase, which was interrupted by a fall. The market then went up, then back down. It went up, down, u...

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Rare Coin Arouses Interest On eBay

Coin collectors were in the news again earlier today, when an extremely rare 10p coin attracted the attentions of several serious bidders on auction website eBay. Or is it ebay? The coin, which is like MANY other 10p coins - in that, it has that...

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Seven day catch up

Check out anything you've missed with the archive:

Party Time as Makers of Viagra, Chapstick and Sensodyne Toothpaste Combine

"It's a no-brainer. Who wouldn't want to sell all the ingredients for the after-party? Viagra for that long lasting erection, along with Sensodyne for oral health, and Chapstick to moisten those dry, cracked lips. We also do Panadol for the hangover,...

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Amazon To Lay Off Staff As Pre-Christmas 'Rush' Doesn't Happen

Amazon, the online shopping retailer, has said that it is facing being forced to make staff at its distribution centers redundant, as online sales for Christmas have fallen way below expected targets. Sales of goods are 28% down on those in the fi...

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Ponzi Schemes Will Be the Next Big Investment During the Trump Administration

Economists have predicted that once the economy begins to tank due to high tariffs and voodoo trickle-down theories, some of the most popular investments will once more be Ponzi Schemes as investors once again look for a sure thing, with low investm...

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Business Brief

Man In Boardroom Smelt It, But Had Not Dealt It

Wetherspoon's Profits Plunge by 19%: "Nothing to do with Brexit"

Bing uses "underhanded" ruse to gain user traffic

Concerned Wisconsin Resident Determined To End 'Abusive' Company Strategy Of Selling Shitty, Expired Beer To People Who Live In The Midwest

Wetherspoons Share Price Tumbles as Balham Pub Closes. Brexit "Not to Blame"

Brexit Analysis Impossible Until After Brexit, Claims Man Who Only Reads Sports Pages

Stock Market Goes Down, Then Up, Then Down Again.

Rare Coin Arouses Interest On eBay

Seven day catch up

Party Time as Makers of Viagra, Chapstick and Sensodyne Toothpaste Combine

Amazon To Lay Off Staff As Pre-Christmas 'Rush' Doesn't Happen

Ponzi Schemes Will Be the Next Big Investment During the Trump Administration

Mate Tea Bag Thrown At President Trump At G20 Summit

Wasting water is "against our policy," Just Dunkin' insists

Christmas Sales To Start On Christmas Day

Trump Plans To Build Casinos Along Length Of Border

Chinese Takeaway Has Opened On The Moon

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