Don Trump Jr. and Jarrad Kushner Develop Revolutionary New Economic Plan

Funny story: Don Trump Jr. and Jarrad Kushner Develop Revolutionary New Economic Plan

Mar-A-Lago, Florida White House spokesperson Sarah Sanders announced today that Donnie and Jarrad had invented an economic model that would solve all the world's problems. "Right now, the information is still super-secret because we don't want Ame...

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Trump to slap dollars with HUGE tariff

Funny story: Trump to slap dollars with HUGE tariff

New York, NY - Overheard by the Trump Tower elevator operator, Igbay Arseay, at noon today: a brilliant plan for America to “keep its stuff”. As reported here, aliens are planning to use their vast hordes of accumulated dollars to buy all America’...

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Wetherspoon Chairman Denies Quitting Social Media and Shuts Pubs Instead

Funny story: Wetherspoon Chairman Denies Quitting Social Media and Shuts Pubs Instead

Today, in a prompt volte-face, JD Wetherspoon’s weirdo chairman Tim Martin, the last living proponent of the mullet, hair style of the gods, informed the stock exchange that, rather than quitting social media as widely reported, his pub chain was to...

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UK will get fatter and fatter after Brexit as junk food from the US replaces healthy Italian pasta!

Funny story: UK will get fatter and fatter after Brexit as junk food from the US replaces healthy Italian pasta!

The Beast from the East is about to be eclipsed as a tsunami approaches from the West smothering everything with fatty and sugar-filled food from the US!! A trade deal is imminent with the UK's greatest allies across the Atlantic and, instead of h...

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Vietnamese currency rockets - the dong is up

Funny story: Vietnamese currency rockets - the dong is up

For years it has been an underdeveloped backwater of south-east Asia, best known throughout much of the world for its devastating war against the US. Nevertheless, Vietnam is very much an up and coming country, particularly in an economic sense. Neve...

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Plastic Free Markets

Funny story: Plastic Free Markets

A food market in Amsterdam announced a special aisle in its store that will contain exactly zero plastic packaging. The global epidemic of plastic pollution of our oceans and lands has spurred an effort to reduce our use of unnecessary plastic wrappi...

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Schmidt & Weissen to produce bidirectional pistol

Funny story: Schmidt & Weissen to produce bidirectional pistol

Schmidt & Weissen, a major gun manufacturer in the US, is developing a bidirectional pistol. Paul Gant of Schmidt & Weissen says, "This is the only gun I'd recommend to scumbags and known gang members." The police have mixed feelings about...

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Global burger producer decides to add 'real, fresh meat' to their burgers

Funny story: Global burger producer decides to add 'real, fresh meat' to their burgers

A sensational revolution is occurring in the burger world! Real, fresh meat is to replace the reconstituted crap normally on offer. Several burger kings were about to be declared veggies because basically there is no real meat in their crap anyway...

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Name Calling Trump

One thing about Trump, no one will ever call him simpatico!
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Featured writer
Paxton Quigley
Paxton Quigley
Joined: 02 June 2012
Stories Written: 59

Seven day catch up

Check out anything you've missed with the archive:

Man starts artisan coat hanger business

Funny story: Man starts artisan coat hanger business

Tarquin Smythe Brassington Heckingthump III from Chutney on the Fritz has launched his own artisan coat-hanging business. Heckingthump III told us, ‘From where I see it, a house overlooking the better part of the Thames, the times are just right f...

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Artisan Coat-Hanger business becomes Artisan Paper-clip making business

Funny story: Artisan Coat-Hanger business becomes Artisan Paper-clip making business

Following the recent collapse of his Artisan Coat-Hanger making business successful business-man Tarquin Smythe Brassington Heckingthump III from Chutney on the Fritz has started up his own Artisan paper-clip making business instead. 'Well, what i...

 Read full storyView 'Artisan Coat-Hanger business becomes Artisan Paper-clip making business'

McDonut's burgers found to have traces of meat

Following claims by the McDonut's chain that their burgers are more nutritious than a rump steak, the International Standards Association conducted a scientific analysis of their burgers globally. The summarised results show the following slightly wo...

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Should Mermaids Make More Money Than Mermen?

Funny story: Should Mermaids Make More Money Than Mermen?

"Absolutely not," said one merman. "I mean, mermaids are a dime a dozen, not rare or unique at all, so they just deserve a standard rate, right?" He continued, "Mermen, on the other hand, are unique and rare, and deserve to be paid premium rates."...

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Dyson sucks hot air out of Europe!

Funny story: Dyson sucks hot air out of Europe!

Sir James Dyson and his vacuum cleaners have been at war with their European competitors over suction! He claims his cleaners suck better than German ones, and that even before Brexit! Sir James is out to prove to the rest of Europe that Brit suck...

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Dicken's three ghosts now doing everything by email

Funny story: Dicken's three ghosts now doing everything by email

The ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and yet to come now do all of their work by email, it has been revealed. Speaking to us, for the first time since 2008, the three ghosts have told us that due to the amount of greed, and lack of basic humanity,...

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America's 'Statue Removal' Craze Triggers The Downfall Of An Icon

For over 50 years Ronald McDonald has been a symbol of family and fun spreading happiness to children of all ages around the world. But earlier today, thousands of Ronald McDonald statues across the globe were either taken down or covered with bla...

 Read full storyView 'America's 'Statue Removal' Craze Triggers The Downfall Of An Icon'

First Tentacle Bank is set to do business on Planet Earth

Funny story: First Tentacle Bank is set to do business on Planet Earth

First Tentacle Bank of Planet Purplonia is getting ready to bring their business to Earth. New television ads for the bank proclaim, "At First Tentacle, we offer loans at 2% APR, savings at 16% interest. How does that grab you?" Financial experts...

 Read full storyView 'First Tentacle Bank is set to do business on Planet Earth'

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