Britney Spears' New Designer Perfume, Eau Du Pussy, Is A Tremendous Success
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - The singer who had a world-wide hit with the hit song "Oops, I Did It Again," has just hit paydirt once again. Britney "Sweetie Pie" Spears has just announced that her contract with the Maybellina Cosmetic Co. has just…
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McDonalds Is Now Serving Diet Big Macs
CICERO, Illinois - (Satire News) - The McDonalds Corporation has always listened to the buying public. In a move that will most assuredly increase Mickey D's burger sales, the big burger giant is now selling Diet Big Macs. The new burger only h…
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Ben and Jerry's Latest Ice Cream Flavor Is Will Smith Evil Blackberry Surprise
FROZEN FIDDLE, Vermont - (Satire News) - The makers of Ben and Jerry Ice Cream have developed over 100 different ice cream names including Tasty Tango Mango Durango, Sweet Caroline Delight, and Thighlicious Daisy Duke Supreme. The ice cream giant…
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Ben and Jerry's Decides To Discontinue It's Trumptard Orange Marmalade Ice Cream Flavor
FROZEN FIDDLE, Vermont - (Satire News) - In a move that is being hailed by the majority of ice cream buyers in America, Ben and Jerry's has just announced that they will be taking their Trumptard Orange Marmalade off of the market. This particular…
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KFC Discontinues Their Seagull Tenders Due To A Huge Customer Backlash
LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - (Satire News) - KFC has given in to the demands of it's patrons and effective immediately it will be discontinuing it's latest menu item, the Seagull Tenders. KFC heard it loud and clear that people do not want to eat a bird…
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All of the world's sins go into Cadbury's Creme Eggs, says the Devil
A closely kept secret has been unveiled by a man who should know, Lucifer himself. Speaking to us earlier, Lucifer who now calls himself Derek said 'For years I have been putting every sin everyone has committed into Cadbury's Creme Eggs. That is…
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England’s Coors Light Brewing Company Has Just Named A New Beer After Queen Elizabeth
The McDonalds Corporation Will Be Naming a Special 4-Meat Burger In Honor of Russian President Vladimir Putin
The Trojan Horse Condom Company Is Now Marketing Tiny Condoms For Males With Micro-Penises
The World’s Best Vagina Tightening Cream Is Now Available At Walgreens and CVS
Lady Libido Light Beer Hits The Beer Market Like Gangbusters
A National Tampon Company Warns Its Users That Some Could Explode When They Come In Contact With Sperm
Detroit Says 2023 Automobiles Will Not Have Ignition Keys
McDonalds Introduces Their New McFortune Cookie-Flavored McNuggets
The Coronavirus Has Caused Sales of Convertibles To Plummet By 83%
Vice-President Kamala Harris Signs An $8 Million Contract With Converse Tennis Shoes
Madonna Has Just Become The Official Spokeswoman For McDonalds
Burger King Will Start Serving Wine In All of Their Restaurants
McDonald's New Guacamole McMuffin Is Selling Like Hot Cakes
CHICAGO - (Business Satire) - The McDonalds Corporation has just announced that their latest menu item is having great success all over the world. A spokeswoman for Mickey D's, Wanda Sue Simon, who recently divorced her husband of 29 years, stated…
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All of Will Smith's Bobblehead Dolls Have Been Taken Off The Market and Destroyed
CHICAGO - (Satire News) - The Hasbrutha Toy Co. has just taken every Will Smith Bobblehead Doll off the market and burned them. A spokesperson for the giant toy company, which yearly produces over 16.3 million bobblehead dolls, said that it refuse…
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Allstate Signs Tom Brady and Tony Romo To Star With Aaron Rodgers In The Insurance Commercials
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – In an excellent advertising move, Allstate Insurance has announced that they have just signed the recently retired Tampa Bay Bucs quarterback Tom Brady, and the former Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo (now a CBS…
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San Francisco To Open The World's First "All Gay" Mickey D's" Fast Food Restaurant
SAN FRANCISCO - (Satire News) - The American Foodie News Agency has just announced that "Fog City" will be opening up the world's first "Gay and Lesbian Only" fast food eatery. An executive for Mickey D's, Bruce P. Swishowitz, 34, said that the fr…
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The Government of China Has Just Purchased The Largest Whorehouse in Las Vegas
LAS VEGAS – (Satire News) – The government of China continues to buy American banks, factories, sports teams, and now the Wild Whispers News Agency is reporting that the Chinese government has just purchased the biggest house of ill repute in the ent…
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Donald Trump To Film A Commercial For McDonalds and He Agrees To Get Paid In Big Macs
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - The word on the streets of the Big Apple, is that the twice-impeached, Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump has agreed to film a commercial for McDonalds. Mr. Melania Trump will film the commercial in Central Park, where h…
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Putin Is Livid At The Mass Exocus of US Companies From Russia
MOSCOW - (World Satire) - The Kremlin Voice has just announced that dozens of American companies and fast food chains are abandoning Vlady The Prick's beloved Russia. A spokesperson for the McDonalds franchise chain told the KV that they will be c…
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$38M in Ether fundraised for Julian Assange mysteriously extradited to anonymous Russian hacker
Members of the crypto community have raised more than $38M for Julian Assange, the founder of Wikileaks, who is currently imprisoned on multiple charges in London. AssangeDao, a decentralized autonomous organization, is a fundraising group created…
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The Reason Why The Company That Was Manufacturing Pizza-Flavored Condoms Has Stopped
PHILADELPHIA – (Satire News) – The Rubberized Rubber Company of Philadelphia has informed the public that it will discontinue their line of pizza-flavored condoms. Lana D. Tinhaus, a spokeswoman for RRC stated that they decided on the move after r…
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A Virginia Veterinarian’s Business Has Shot Up 600% Since He Started Giving Botox Injections To Bloodhounds
RED GUMBALL, Virginia – (Satire News) – Red Gumball is a town of 52,902 people. It is the birthplace of one of Taylor Swift’s cousins, Stepanie Swift. It is also home to one of its most popular citizens, Dr. Elroy P. Noodle, the town’s veterinaria…
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A Major Brewing Company Is Now Selling Viagra-Flavored Beer
BROOKLYN – (Satire News) – The Empire Castle Brewing Company has just introduced a brand new beer. A corporate spokesperson said that the new beer was 11 months in the developmental stages. The brewery took their signature beer, Empire Castle a…
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Aldi Release Vegan Friendly New Snack
The budget supermarket chain, Aldi, has announced it is releasing a vegan friendly 'add boiling water' snack that they insist does not contain any traces of meat, especially dog meat, after recent allegations that some processed food contained traces…
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Jack-in-the-Box, in An Effort To Increase Patrons, Plans to Add Swimming Pools to Their Restaurants
CALEXICO, California – (Satire News) – A spokesperson for the Jack-in-the-Box restaurant chain has just announced that the 71-year-old company will be implementing a new change to help boost their menu-item sales. Spokesperson Nanette Cowcaloochi,…
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1,007 of Florida’s 1,013 McDonalds Have Officially Banned Donald J. Trump
PENSACOLA, Florida – (Satire News) – A spokesperson for the Florida McDonalds restaurant chain has informed the American public that DJT has just been banned from setting foot in 1,007 of the McDonalds located in the Plywood State. Warner F. Ragga…
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Amazon Send Electric Blankets to Freezing Refugees Stuck on the Belarus/Polish Border
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The McDonalds In Kabul, Afghanistan Sells Over 4,000 McCamelburgers Per Day
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A Circus Clown Is Fired For Refusing To Wear The Red-Nose Clown Ball
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Tacos Have Just Surpassed Hamburgers As America’s Favorite Fast Food
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Who Wants To Be a Trllionaire? You, Because You Already Are One!
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47 Brazen-As-Hell Smash and Grab Vandals Invade A McDonalds!
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Piers Morgan and Simon Cowell Are Interested In Buying Manchester United
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FedEx Has Now Resorted To Using Robot Drivers
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Coca-Cola Has Just Hired The Cutest Spokes Animal Ever
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Jeff Bezos Says He's Going To Buy Fox News and Fire Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, Greg Gutfeld and The Rest of The GOP Ass-Kissing Racist Clowns
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The Amazing New-Upstart e-Ocean Has Just Surpassed e-Bay In Sales and Popularity
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Baskin-Robbins Announces Their Brand New Adult-Oriented Ice Cream
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Bezos-Musk, Inc., Announces They Will Build The Biggest Retail Shopping Mall In The World
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Dollar Tree To Become Two-Dollar Tree
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Uber Will Now Be Picking Up and Delivering Merchandise As Well As People
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Five Guys Burgers Adds a Partner And Will Now Become Six Guys Burgers
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Donald Trump To Become The Spokesperson For Preparation H
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Dollar Tree In a Blockbuster Move Is Now Selling Pets!
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Donald Trump’s Designer MAGA Toupee Flops – Only 17 Sold Nation-Wide
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Investigators Find That Instagram Isn’t Really That Instant
