Am I crazy, or am I lead deficient?
Tel Aviv IL: Pharmer Pharmaceuticals is drawing criticism over an alleged breakthrough psychiatric drug which is touted as a first in it's class. There are currently 3 groups of medications used for epilepsy, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia. Amon...Read full story
Nevada Brothels to Offer 50% Discount to Incels
Young "incel" men, bitter and disillusioned by the discovery that they "can't get laid in a whorehouse", will soon be able to get laid for half price at any whorehouse in the state of Nevada, beginning this August. "We're doing this as a public se...Read full story
Wetherspoon to Stop Selling Champagne and Prosecco
"Frankly, we don't give a toss" was the reaction of France's Champagne industry to the Wetherspoon announcement that the fusty old gits chain of pubs would cease selling Champagne and Prosecco. Shortly after his recent shock announcement that he w...Read full story
The Trump Economic Miracle Explained by His Followers Using One Easy Chart
Washington - Donald Trump and White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders have recently described the economic period established in February of this year under his administration as the "Trump Miracle", and his dwindling number of followers a...Read full story
What Does it Take to Become a Good Private Investigator?
Private examination is a vocation. The individuals who mean to go into the activity are relied upon to have some formal preparing. In Los Angeles for example certain prerequisite must be met before one turns into a Los Angeles Private Investigator ex...Read full story
Trump Sneaks in an Executive Order Putting His Face on the $100 Dollar Bill and Plans on Charging Royalties
Mar-A-Lago, FL U.S. Secretary of the Treasury Steven Mnuchin was shocked when he went to inspect the new $100 bills and saw Trump's picture on them! But Mnuchin was even more shocked when he realized that Trump claimed he had the right to take a...Read full story
National Park Service Rewrites Statue of Liberty Plaque"Give me your strong, your rich, your workers yearning to breathe capitalism. Send no homeless, impoverished, or those seeking refuge from MS-13 to me. I want no trash to tarnish our golden door."
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Joined: 15 January 2006
Stories Written: 32
Joined: 15 January 2006
Stories Written: 32
Chinese pot noodles hit by pizza tsunami!
The basic diet of billions of Chinese is being swept from under their bare feet by an 'Italian tsunami' causing a 'Domino' effect on the nutritional foundations of the most populated country on the planet! Chinese pot noodles, eaten by the rich, t...Read full story
Mnuchin™ to Foreclose on Puetro Rico
Given the debt Puerto Rico has to Wall St and now they are unable to make their designated payments due to the 2 recent Hurricanes the most compassionate and all wise Treasury Secretary has decided to Foreclose on the entire region. Apparently Her...Read full story
Some Teachers Actually Go into Teaching for the Money
Apparently, it's the result of low expectations and outright confusion. "I used to work in Walmart," said one untenured teacher, two years into the profession. "I get at least twice the pay, but I also don't get the 5% discount, so it's a wash. I...Read full story
First white soft drink set to be unveiled
The Stormer Beverage Corporation is set to unveil a new soft drink within the next few months. The beverage is called Liquid White, and is the world's first white carbonated cola beverage. "For years, soft drinks have been similar in hue to minori...Read full story
First Tentacle Bank is set to do business on Planet Earth
First Tentacle Bank of Planet Purplonia is getting ready to bring their business to Earth. New television ads for the bank proclaim, "At First Tentacle, we offer loans at 2% APR, savings at 16% interest. How does that grab you?" Financial experts...Read full story
Plastic Free Markets
A food market in Amsterdam announced a special aisle in its store that will contain exactly zero plastic packaging. The global epidemic of plastic pollution of our oceans and lands has spurred an effort to reduce our use of unnecessary plastic wrappi...Read full story
Trump Explains How Obama and Crooked Hillary Caused the Stock Market to Go Way Down
Mar-A-Lago, FL President Trump gave a brief interview in-between the third and fourth course of a banquet at Mar-A-Lago today. It was honoring Over a Year of Trump and Still No Nuclear War. When he was asked why the stock market went down after...Read full story
Dicken's three ghosts now doing everything by email
The ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and yet to come now do all of their work by email, it has been revealed. Speaking to us, for the first time since 2008, the three ghosts have told us that due to the amount of greed, and lack of basic humanity,...Read full story