Don Trump Jr. and Jarrad Kushner Develop Revolutionary New Economic Plan
Mar-A-Lago, Florida White House spokesperson Sarah Sanders announced today that Donnie and Jarrad had invented an economic model that would solve all the world's problems. "Right now, the information is still super-secret because we don't want Ame...Read full story
Trump to slap dollars with HUGE tariff
New York, NY - Overheard by the Trump Tower elevator operator, Igbay Arseay, at noon today: a brilliant plan for America to “keep its stuff”. As reported here, aliens are planning to use their vast hordes of accumulated dollars to buy all America’...Read full story
Wetherspoon Chairman Denies Quitting Social Media and Shuts Pubs Instead
Today, in a prompt volte-face, JD Wetherspoon’s weirdo chairman Tim Martin, the last living proponent of the mullet, hair style of the gods, informed the stock exchange that, rather than quitting social media as widely reported, his pub chain was to...Read full story
UK will get fatter and fatter after Brexit as junk food from the US replaces healthy Italian pasta!
The Beast from the East is about to be eclipsed as a tsunami approaches from the West smothering everything with fatty and sugar-filled food from the US!! A trade deal is imminent with the UK's greatest allies across the Atlantic and, instead of h...Read full story
Vietnamese currency rockets - the dong is up
For years it has been an underdeveloped backwater of south-east Asia, best known throughout much of the world for its devastating war against the US. Nevertheless, Vietnam is very much an up and coming country, particularly in an economic sense. Neve...Read full story
Schmidt & Weissen to produce bidirectional pistol
Schmidt & Weissen, a major gun manufacturer in the US, is developing a bidirectional pistol. Paul Gant of Schmidt & Weissen says, "This is the only gun I'd recommend to scumbags and known gang members." The police have mixed feelings about...Read full story
Global burger producer decides to add 'real, fresh meat' to their burgers
A sensational revolution is occurring in the burger world! Real, fresh meat is to replace the reconstituted crap normally on offer. Several burger kings were about to be declared veggies because basically there is no real meat in their crap anyway...Read full story
Name Calling TrumpOne thing about Trump, no one will ever call him simpatico!
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Joined: 02 June 2012
Stories Written: 59
Joined: 02 June 2012
Stories Written: 59
Man starts artisan coat hanger business
Tarquin Smythe Brassington Heckingthump III from Chutney on the Fritz has launched his own artisan coat-hanging business. Heckingthump III told us, ‘From where I see it, a house overlooking the better part of the Thames, the times are just right f...Read full story
Artisan Coat-Hanger business becomes Artisan Paper-clip making business
Following the recent collapse of his Artisan Coat-Hanger making business successful business-man Tarquin Smythe Brassington Heckingthump III from Chutney on the Fritz has started up his own Artisan paper-clip making business instead. 'Well, what i...Read full story
McDonut's burgers found to have traces of meat
Following claims by the McDonut's chain that their burgers are more nutritious than a rump steak, the International Standards Association conducted a scientific analysis of their burgers globally. The summarised results show the following slightly wo...Read full story
Should Mermaids Make More Money Than Mermen?
"Absolutely not," said one merman. "I mean, mermaids are a dime a dozen, not rare or unique at all, so they just deserve a standard rate, right?" He continued, "Mermen, on the other hand, are unique and rare, and deserve to be paid premium rates."...Read full story
Dyson sucks hot air out of Europe!
Sir James Dyson and his vacuum cleaners have been at war with their European competitors over suction! He claims his cleaners suck better than German ones, and that even before Brexit! Sir James is out to prove to the rest of Europe that Brit suck...Read full story
Dicken's three ghosts now doing everything by email
The ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and yet to come now do all of their work by email, it has been revealed. Speaking to us, for the first time since 2008, the three ghosts have told us that due to the amount of greed, and lack of basic humanity,...Read full story
America's 'Statue Removal' Craze Triggers The Downfall Of An Icon
For over 50 years Ronald McDonald has been a symbol of family and fun spreading happiness to children of all ages around the world. But earlier today, thousands of Ronald McDonald statues across the globe were either taken down or covered with bla...Read full story
First Tentacle Bank is set to do business on Planet Earth
First Tentacle Bank of Planet Purplonia is getting ready to bring their business to Earth. New television ads for the bank proclaim, "At First Tentacle, we offer loans at 2% APR, savings at 16% interest. How does that grab you?" Financial experts...Read full story