Wasting water is "against our policy," Just Dunkin' insists
Dunkin' Donuts, ridiculed for changing its name to Just Dunkin' in what many media analysts (whatever the hell they are) believe was a publicity ploy, is back in the limelight because of the behavior of one of its Syracuse, New Yawk, employees. A...Read full story
New news anchor's "talent" sure to boost ratings, producer says
In an attempt to compete with Foxy Nudes, CeeBeeEss' “Diss Mornin'” program has added Brianna Gold-Digger to its lineup. The buxom beauty, known as much for her ample cleavage and her radiant smile as she is for her “gravitas,” will join co-stars mos...Read full story
Brexit Analysis Impossible Until After Brexit, Claims Man Who Only Reads Sports Pages
The consequences, ramifications, and repercussions of Britain leaving the European Union cannot, and will not, be known until after the event has happened, claims a man who knows absolutely fuck all about economics. Moys Kenwood, 55, said that, as...Read full story
Vietnamese currency rockets - the dong is up
For years it has been an underdeveloped backwater of south-east Asia, best known throughout much of the world for its devastating war against the US. Nevertheless, Vietnam is very much an up and coming country, particularly in an economic sense. Neve...Read full story
Little Chef Boss Sees Brexit Dividend from No Deal Chaos
Little Chef chairman, ardent Brexiteer, Conservative party donor, tax exile and fast food entrepreneur, Sir Tom Arto-Ketchup spoke out today about his hopes for a Brexit Dividend as a result of a no deal Brexit and Operation Stack bringing the roads...Read full story
Chinese 'Rat a to EEEEEEEgh' dish causes stock exchange meltdown!
With the Chinese economy booming it seems normal Chinese people can afford to go to posh restaurants and enjoy delicacies that were only reserved for the high and mighty of Chinese politics and business. Dog soup, shark fin Chop Suey, Vermin ratat...Read full story
Trump Explains How Obama and Crooked Hillary Caused the Stock Market to Go Way Down
Mar-A-Lago, FL President Trump gave a brief interview in-between the third and fourth course of a banquet at Mar-A-Lago today. It was honoring Over a Year of Trump and Still No Nuclear War. When he was asked why the stock market went down after...Read full story
Trump Thinks Deaths at End of Avengers Infinity Wars Were RealHe sends the Secret Service to the movie set of Avengers 4 to do some investigating.
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Joined: 01 April 2011
Stories Written: 29
Joined: 01 April 2011
Stories Written: 29
UK Estate Agents post porno pictures on walls of their 'For Sale' houses!
The housing market in the UK is generally regarded as 'totally BONKERS,' and now Estate Agents are 'bonking' up the hype even further by allowing porno pictures hanging on the walls of their houses to be part of the sales pitch! The idea came from...Read full story
Ivanka Trump Will Start Selling Designer Cages for Border Kids
Trump Tower, NY Trump's daughter, Ivanka, who recently shuttered her clothing line because she was "too busy" (all the stores stopped selling it), announced that she will start the Ivanka Trump Designer Cage Co. "We just thought it was an idea who...Read full story
Man Furious Over Burnt Corn Flakes
A man eating his breakfast cereal was up in arms this morning after finding two burnt Corn Flakes in his bowl for the second day in succession. Moys Kenwood, 54, revealed how he opened a brand new box of Kellogg's Corn Flakes yesterday morning, a...Read full story
UK will get fatter and fatter after Brexit as junk food from the US replaces healthy Italian pasta!
The Beast from the East is about to be eclipsed as a tsunami approaches from the West smothering everything with fatty and sugar-filled food from the US!! A trade deal is imminent with the UK's greatest allies across the Atlantic and, instead of h...Read full story
Stock Market Disaster
There was panic amongst traders and investors in all sectors this afternoon when, after a fairly steady opening, the Stock Market crashed. The market, comprising nine units selling a variety of clothing, footwear, housewares, cleaning products, fo...Read full story
Artisan Coat-Hanger business becomes Artisan Paper-clip making business
Following the recent collapse of his Artisan Coat-Hanger making business successful business-man Tarquin Smythe Brassington Heckingthump III from Chutney on the Fritz has started up his own Artisan paper-clip making business instead. 'Well, what i...Read full story
Man Went To Tesco At 3am 'To See What It Would Be Like'
A man with little better to do than visit supermarkets in the middle of the night, has recounted how he visited his local Tesco Superstore at 3am one morning - just to see what it would feel like! Moys Kenwood, 54, told of how, in September 2017,...Read full story
Wetherspoon Chairman Denies Quitting Social Media and Shuts Pubs Instead
Today, in a prompt volte-face, JD Wetherspoon’s weirdo chairman Tim Martin, the last living proponent of the mullet, hair style of the gods, informed the stock exchange that, rather than quitting social media as widely reported, his pub chain was to...Read full story