Wasting water is "against our policy," Just Dunkin' insists
Dunkin' Donuts, ridiculed for changing its name to Just Dunkin' in what many media analysts (whatever the hell they are) believe was a publicity ploy, is back in the limelight because of the behavior of one of its Syracuse, New Yawk, employees. A...
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New news anchor's "talent" sure to boost ratings, producer says
In an attempt to compete with Foxy Nudes, CeeBeeEss' “Diss Mornin'” program has added Brianna Gold-Digger to its lineup. The buxom beauty, known as much for her ample cleavage and her radiant smile as she is for her “gravitas,” will join co-stars mos...
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Brexit Analysis Impossible Until After Brexit, Claims Man Who Only Reads Sports Pages
The consequences, ramifications, and repercussions of Britain leaving the European Union cannot, and will not, be known until after the event has happened, claims a man who knows absolutely fuck all about economics. Moys Kenwood, 55, said that, as...
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Nevada Brothels to Offer 50% Discount to Incels
Can't pay? - We'll take it away! High Court Enforcers demand £1.8 trillion at HM Treasury
Prices Go Up 2% in Federal Reserve Board’s Ivory Tower Location
Red Hen Restaurants are Riding a Wave of Popularity
Stock Market Collapses
First Tentacle Bank is set to do business on Planet Earth
Supermarket Mergers, Pacts And Other Such Shit
Ponzi Schemes Will Be the Next Big Investment During the Trump Administration
Still MORE Stuff from the Progressive Shoppers’ Mart – The Premier E-tailing Site for Enlightened Ideologues
Global burger producer decides to add 'real, fresh meat' to their burgers
New Toothpaste Has Controversial Name
Man starts artisan coat hanger business
Vietnamese currency rockets - the dong is up
For years it has been an underdeveloped backwater of south-east Asia, best known throughout much of the world for its devastating war against the US. Nevertheless, Vietnam is very much an up and coming country, particularly in an economic sense. Neve...
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Little Chef Boss Sees Brexit Dividend from No Deal Chaos
Little Chef chairman, ardent Brexiteer, Conservative party donor, tax exile and fast food entrepreneur, Sir Tom Arto-Ketchup spoke out today about his hopes for a Brexit Dividend as a result of a no deal Brexit and Operation Stack bringing the roads...
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Chinese 'Rat a to EEEEEEEgh' dish causes stock exchange meltdown!
With the Chinese economy booming it seems normal Chinese people can afford to go to posh restaurants and enjoy delicacies that were only reserved for the high and mighty of Chinese politics and business. Dog soup, shark fin Chop Suey, Vermin ratat...
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Trump Explains How Obama and Crooked Hillary Caused the Stock Market to Go Way Down
Mar-A-Lago, FL President Trump gave a brief interview in-between the third and fourth course of a banquet at Mar-A-Lago today. It was honoring Over a Year of Trump and Still No Nuclear War. When he was asked why the stock market went down after...
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Breaking news…
Trump Thinks Deaths at End of Avengers Infinity Wars Were Real
He sends the Secret Service to the movie set of Avengers 4 to do some investigating.
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Seven day catch up
Check out anything you've missed with the archive:
UK Estate Agents post porno pictures on walls of their 'For Sale' houses!
The housing market in the UK is generally regarded as 'totally BONKERS,' and now Estate Agents are 'bonking' up the hype even further by allowing porno pictures hanging on the walls of their houses to be part of the sales pitch! The idea came from...
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Ivanka Trump Will Start Selling Designer Cages for Border Kids
Trump Tower, NY Trump's daughter, Ivanka, who recently shuttered her clothing line because she was "too busy" (all the stores stopped selling it), announced that she will start the Ivanka Trump Designer Cage Co. "We just thought it was an idea who...
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Man Furious Over Burnt Corn Flakes
A man eating his breakfast cereal was up in arms this morning after finding two burnt Corn Flakes in his bowl for the second day in succession. Moys Kenwood, 54, revealed how he opened a brand new box of Kellogg's Corn Flakes yesterday morning, a...
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UK will get fatter and fatter after Brexit as junk food from the US replaces healthy Italian pasta!
The Beast from the East is about to be eclipsed as a tsunami approaches from the West smothering everything with fatty and sugar-filled food from the US!! A trade deal is imminent with the UK's greatest allies across the Atlantic and, instead of h...
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Stock Market Disaster
There was panic amongst traders and investors in all sectors this afternoon when, after a fairly steady opening, the Stock Market crashed. The market, comprising nine units selling a variety of clothing, footwear, housewares, cleaning products, fo...
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Artisan Coat-Hanger business becomes Artisan Paper-clip making business
Following the recent collapse of his Artisan Coat-Hanger making business successful business-man Tarquin Smythe Brassington Heckingthump III from Chutney on the Fritz has started up his own Artisan paper-clip making business instead. 'Well, what i...
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Man Went To Tesco At 3am 'To See What It Would Be Like'
A man with little better to do than visit supermarkets in the middle of the night, has recounted how he visited his local Tesco Superstore at 3am one morning - just to see what it would feel like! Moys Kenwood, 54, told of how, in September 2017,...
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Wetherspoon Chairman Denies Quitting Social Media and Shuts Pubs Instead
Today, in a prompt volte-face, JD Wetherspoon’s weirdo chairman Tim Martin, the last living proponent of the mullet, hair style of the gods, informed the stock exchange that, rather than quitting social media as widely reported, his pub chain was to...
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Latest Spoof Business Brief Headlines
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Trump Sneaks in an Executive Order Putting His Face on the $100 Dollar Bill and Plans on Charging Royalties
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The Trump Economic Miracle Explained by His Followers Using One Easy Chart
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Chinese pot noodles hit by pizza tsunami!
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What Does it Take to Become a Good Private Investigator?
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UK supermarkets ban energy drinks because they give "Hoodie Hooligans" too much energy!
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US chickens doing a runner in Brit Chicken Run!
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Bitcoin Volatility Won't Put Me Off, Says Moron
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Trump Brothers Withdraw All of the U.S.Treasury's Money and Lose it All on Roulette
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Shoplifting Now UK's Fastest-growing Industry
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Currency Markets In Turmoil
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Mnuchin™ to compensate middle class for higher taxes with free Greenback Bathmats for the Rich
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Dicken's three ghosts now doing everything by email
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First white soft drink set to be unveiled
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Trump Family Buys Angelfire, GeoCities, AltaVista, Ask Jeeves, and Netscape Web Browser
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Trump to slap dollars with HUGE tariff
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Wetherspoon to Stop Selling Champagne and Prosecco
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Too Many Cooks Spoilt Broth
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Stock Market Goes Down, Then Up, Then Down Again.
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PETA Rescues Animal Crackers; Poachers and Hunters Overjoyed
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Cheap airline offering "standing room only" unless you bring your own deckchair!
