CHICAGO – (Satire News) – US meteorologists from Maine to Oregon are puzzled-as-hell at the discovery of a volcano that has suddenly formed overnight in Lake Michigan.
The Alpha Beta News Agency was the first news outlet to report on the volcano, which has been named, Mount Saint Oprah Winfrey, in honor of one of the Windy City’s most famous citizens (ever!).
ABNA reporter, Mimosa Sabrosa interviewed one of the nation’s leading volcano experts, Maddie P. Lickenhix, 52, who remarked that although the volcano is not anywhere near as big as Washington state's Mount Saint Helens, or Italy’s Mount Vesuvius, or even Alabama’s Mount Crackerhead, it is still one big-ass fucker (her words).
Blonde songstress Taylor Swift told Yippie-Ki-Yay Magazine that she has already written a song about Mount Saint Oprah Winfrey which she has titled, “When I Slipped Him Some Tongue, I Saw a Volcano Quickly Form in The Crotch Region of His Nike Shorts.”
Meanwhile, President Biden will be sending VP Harris to Chicago to do a photo shoot on the volcano, to show the effen Republican senators (as well as that orange predator, Donald Trump) that Global Warning is not a hoax, it’s not a witch hunt, and it certainly is not President Obama’s fault.
