DELAWARE PUNCH, Delaware – (Entertainment Satire) – The state of Delaware has just revealed that its brand new Naked Bingo Night has proved to be a tremendous success.
State Attorney General Kathy Jennings informed the news media that when the idea of having state-sponsored Naked Bingo was first proposed, it was met with a resounding no, and not just no, but hell no!
A vast majority of the adult Delawareans quickly nipped the idea in the bud, saying that it would lead to cocaine and heroin use, not to mention that the prostitution industry would most likely triple within a week.
But the senator from Magnolia, Delaware, Mindy Longerweed, stated that the revenue from having Naked Bingo Night would bring in about $3.7 million a month, which would calculate to $44.4 million per year.
The senator said that the money could be used to provide condoms for every high school senior in the state, as well as pay to have every cat in Delaware spayed.
She added that it could also pay off the $16.3 million debt that Delaware has owed Bolivia since 2002.
Some of the older citizens were still not convinced. But when Senator Longerweed, pointed out that the revenue from Naked Bingo Night would also allow for every person over the age of 70 to receive free-state-provided dentures, as well as a life-time supply of Viagra for men, or Cellulite-Be-Gone Salve for women, the proposal passed 100-0.