CHICAGO – (Satire News) – BuzzFuzz reports that one of the biggest fast food corporations is having trouble hiring (and keeping) employees.
Agatha Agave, a spokeswoman for the fast food giant, told Sonora Cahoots, with BuzzFuzz that young people just do not want to work and prefer to simply hang out at malls, drink papaya smoothies, and get tattoos and intimate body piercings.
She added that as a result the average age of a Chic-fil-A employee has gone down from 19 to 14.
So the chicken eatery has taken a cue from Papa Luigi’s Pizza Palace in Bologna, Italy, and they are starting to hire convicts who are on parole.
The company stressed that these new prisoner employees are mostly individuals who were imprisoned for white collar crimes such as financial fraud, embezzlement, and counterfeiting.
Ms. Agave, who recently gave birth to quadruplets, made it abundantly clear that they will not hire anyone who has robbed a liquor store, a convenience store, a bank, or a nail salon.