ABERDEEN, Scotland – (Sports Satire) – The reigning champions of the Scottish-Irish Football League, the Aberdeen Sea Wolves, easily defeated their long time rivals the Killarney Archers 6-2.
The game was held at the newly remodeled Mrs. Sean Connery Stadium, which holds 32,901 fans.
The Sea Wolves, who are coached by former star for Mexico’s Olympic team, Juanito De Los Fritos, lead from the very first goal.
Aberdeen star, Montrose Dingwall, who hails from Zimbabwe, scored 5 of the team’s goals. Dingwall’s wife Camaneesha, recently gave birth to triplets, which the couple named Dundee, Buckie, and Kingussie.
The game had to be halted during the second period, when the concession stand ran out of Cock-a-Leekie Soup. Several stadium employees went next door to a neighborhood Tesco Super Center and purchased roughly 2,000 gallons of the soup.
The Sea Wolves will next play the Cork Corkers from Ireland. The Corkers have a goalie who stands 6-foot-11-inches tall and who has hands the size of adult woodchucks.