LAS VEGAS – (Entertainment Satire) – Close friends of songstress Celine Dion are extremely worried about her, as she has dipped down to a skinny-as-hell 81 pounds.
A member of her Las Vegas band, who begged not to have his name released, said that the Canadian singer has lost so much damn weight, that she now resembles a white swizzle stick.
Celine insists that she is fine, although one of her back-up dancers says that she has trouble keeping her panties from falling down to her ankles.
Her assistant commented that she is on the avocado diet; one slice of avocado toast for breakfast, half an avocado slice for lunch, and for dinner she eats two avocado slices in a diet corn tortilla.
SIDENOTE: Celine’s manager noted that the singer does not realize it, but all of the weight loss has caused her to strain her voice in order to hit the high G sharp and the C sharp notes.
