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Spoof news events on this day in history

Funny story: Masturbation/Wanking to be Taught at all U.S. Schools

Masturbation/Wanking to be Taught at all U.S. Schools

(2007) U.S. Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings announced today that masturbation, or wanking as it's known to most young boys, will be required teaching at all public schools in the U.S.

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Funny story: Kieren Fallon slams Dettori as 'far bigger crook'

Kieren Fallon slams Dettori as 'far bigger crook'

(2007) Ballydoyle - (Leprachaun Press): Disgraced former champion jockey Kieren Fallon has laid into fellow flat racing rider Frankie Dettori as being a 'far bigger crook, in as well as out of the saddle than I could ever aspire to being'.

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Funny story: PE Porno Teacher Has Bad Head

PE Porno Teacher Has Bad Head

(2009) A Headmaster has suspended a PE teacher following her posing for 'lewd' pictures on the internet. John Cole of Nova Mews Secondary said "I was looking at my usual websites. When Pam goes out I like to spend my Saturday yanking off to porn. But there...

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Funny story: Marie Osmond Seeks Second Divorce

Marie Osmond Seeks Second Divorce

(2007) Marie Osmond announced that she is seeking a divorce from her husband of twenty years. No reasons were given or announced by the couple. This is her second divorce from a man that she married "for all eternity" (not "til death do us...

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Funny story: Maxi Pad Wrestling Seeks National Support

Maxi Pad Wrestling Seeks National Support

(2006) USA Wrestling has announced today that they will seek approval to add Maxi Pad Wrestling to their competition format.

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Funny story: Hubble Telescope Confirms Origin of Universe

Hubble Telescope Confirms Origin of Universe

(2004) Cape Canaveral, Florida- NASA scientists are elated with the newest findings from the Hubble telescope. The powerful telescope recently sent back images so far away, and so old, that they are believed to be pictures of the very beginning of t...

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Funny story: UFO Press Conference - What We DON'T Know

UFO Press Conference - What We DON'T Know

(2008) Washington - As this story continues to unfold, there is an ever increasing amount of suspicion aimed at the Federal government, military and intelligence agencies. While most are over joyed with the continuous outpour of seemingly endless informati...

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Funny story: Chicago Police Supt. Det. Dick Simmons Tells Pudgy Police: "Lose LBS or join the Oldies!"

Chicago Police Supt. Det. Dick Simmons Tells Pudgy Police: "Lose LBS or join the Oldies!"

(2008) The Chicago police dept has been gorging itself on deep dish pizza, Chicago Dogs and of course lots and lots of Doughnuts. As a result, they have been declared the pudgiest police in the USA. That is, until new Supt. Det. Dick Simmons brought his wor...

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Funny story: "Peter Crouch, The Greatest I've Ever Seen" - Thierry Henry. Liverpool 4 - Arsenal 1.

"Peter Crouch, The Greatest I've Ever Seen" - Thierry Henry. Liverpool 4 - Arsenal 1.

(2007) After witnessing his side's defeat at the hands of Liverpool, Arsenal's Thierry Henry had an amazing statement for the press; "Peter Crouch is the greatest striker I've ever seen."...

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Funny story: New aga-saga says Queen Mother 'was a bastard' - so what else is new?

New aga-saga says Queen Mother 'was a bastard' - so what else is new?

(2012) London - A French maid toiling away at Lord Strathmore's stove has been outed as the birth mother of mad-as-a-hatter Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon who became the wife of King George VI. Marguerite Rodiere was herself the bastard spawn of the Rev Charles Ca...

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Funny story: Bush Challenges Ahmajinedad

Bush Challenges Ahmajinedad

(2007) President BUSH in an attempt to elliviate the current hostage crisis in Iran has Challenged Iranian President Mahamud Ahmajinedad to an Internationaly Broadcast Debate...

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Funny story: Orlando Bloom Saddened By Disloyal Fans

Orlando Bloom Saddened By Disloyal Fans

(2008) "I am so going to be a Bugaloo!" - That's the message Orlando Bloom wants his fans to hear.

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Funny story: Magic Harry's Mushroom Farm

Magic Harry's Mushroom Farm

(2008) Earlier today a dog walker, walking her dog in Farnham near the Harry Potter film set stumbled upon something very unexpected. She discovered the famous actor's very own psilocybin farm (commonly known as magic mushrooms)...

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Funny story: Triangle Hero II released

Triangle Hero II released

(2008) Sales of Guitar Hero, the computer game that costs more than the instrument itself has launched a new rival in the games market.

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Funny story: Barack Obama's White grandma says she felt fearful of Black people, especially in the church parking lot after a Rev. Jeremiah Wright Jr. racial harmony sermon

Barack Obama's White grandma says she felt fearful of Black people, especially in the church parking lot after a Rev. Jeremiah Wright Jr. racial harmony sermon

(2008) Washington, DC - Just after Obama's spin doctors thought the Rev. Jeremiah Wright Jr. firestorm of controversy was behind them comes on the heals of Obama's infamous speech on the state of race relations in America today, a speech compared to...

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Funny story: Summer Safety Tips

Summer Safety Tips

(2008) We're approaching another summer season, and the North American Safety Council has issued their annual warm weather safety tips to help us all have a fun and safe summer. Feel free to pass these along to your friends:...

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Funny story: God And Lucifer Hold Secret Meeting

God And Lucifer Hold Secret Meeting

(2007) Inside a library of Victorian splendor. A sign on the door reads: "NO SOLICITORS".

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Funny story: Robert Pattinson pissed again like he was last summer

Robert Pattinson pissed again like he was last summer

(2010) Robert Pattinson was pissed again which has been a frequent occurrence over the last year. Pattinson was seen at a bar in London and after twelve pints of Lager he was laughing so much he pissed his pants. Pattinson has never been out of the news,...

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Funny story: NCAA Outlaws Confederate Flag and Any States That Display It Anywhere

NCAA Outlaws Confederate Flag and Any States That Display It Anywhere

(2007) The NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Association) has extended its ban on use of the Confederate flag. FOrmerly, the organization had declared that it would not allow NCAA Basketball Tournament games to be held in states that posted the flag offic...

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Funny story: Tabloid smear campaign says maths prodigy is hooker

Tabloid smear campaign says maths prodigy is hooker

(2008) London - (Ass Mess): An Oxford Unversity maths prodigy is being smeared by UK tabloids as a £130 per hour hooker according to reports.

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Funny story: What Ketchup Does John Kerry Use?

What Ketchup Does John Kerry Use?

(2004) As some of you may be aware, Senator John Kerry is married to a member of the Heinz ketchup family, Teresa Heinz. The couple maintains that it is a match made of love and mutual respect. They also say they have nothing to do with the ketchup company.

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Funny story: 'Solving' of Great Pyramids False, Truth Revealed

'Solving' of Great Pyramids False, Truth Revealed

(2007) The mystery of how the pyramids were built has been claimed to be 'solved' by a French architect. However, his theories have now been categorically debunked by eye witnesses.

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Funny story: John Lennon to be stuffed for Beatles Themepark

John Lennon to be stuffed for Beatles Themepark

(2008) LIVERPOOL- As a part of Liverpool's ongoing city of culture celebrations, the organisers have named the centrepiece to the Beatles theme park to be finished later this month: the stuffed body of the late John Lennon.

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