WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki informed the news media that the president has made good on his promise to protect the island of Japan.
POTUS has sent some strong messages to Chinese President Xi Jinping and they have all been ignored.
The Republic of China has made it known, in no uncertain terms, that they plan to attack Japan by the end of the year.
Xi Jinping pointed out that he resents that the Japanese have always been miles ahead of China in the production of electronic equipment, automobiles, and the manufacturing of sushi.
Japan’s Saki News Agency has reported that Japan is not the least bit afraid of China, and they have announced that Chinese missiles are like Fisher-Price toys compared to Japan’s mighty arsenal of introductory missiles; including the state-of-the-art, Mr. Bonzai 4000 Annihilator Commando Missile, which can level an entire city in 2.7 seconds.
President Biden has announced that the powerful naval flotilla that he is sending towards China includes 2 aircraft carriers, 3 battleships, 5 destroyers, 9 submarines, and a freighter that will carry 37 attack German Shepherds.
In a Non-Related Story. Russian President Putin says that he is planning to release to Wikipedia at least a dozen photos showing his puppet (i.e. Donald Jonathan Trump) in a Moscow motel covered in Russian prostitute urine.■