'Wear Normal Shoes And Save The Planet' Rants Fort Lauderdale Man
Fort Lauderdale man, Frank Tunc, unleashed a vitriolic tirade of abuse on his Facebook page yesterday, demanding that friends, family and anyone else with access to his profile, stop wearing footwear that is damaging the planet. The post, which wa…
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Snake venom kills Covid-19 virus!
A Indian man wandering through his local jungle in India, carrying the coronavirus, failed to keep social distance with a sleeping viper basking in the sun. In fact, the man trod on its tail! In response, the viper made a slightly defensive response,...
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Google AI Goes "Jerk-Wad" After Self-Awareness
SAN FRANCISCO - Several experts in the computer technology field learned of Google having an AI which achieved Self-Awareness, soon after the event occurred. For the most part, developers who were involved in the research kept all of their informatio…
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Planetary Scientists Want To Change the Name Uranus to Rectalinia
HOUSTON – It is being reported by several publications that experts in the world of planetary science are urging President Trump to change the name of the planet Uranus to Rectalinia. They state that it is time, once and for all, to put an end to...
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Man Sets Out To Disinvent The Internet
A man who says he is incensed at the way modern-day society has become a "slave to technology", with seemingly everything controlled by the internet, has announced that he is determined to halt this process, and make the 'world wide web' a thing of t…
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Astronauts Report Bumpy Ride: SpaceX Cuts Price for Civilian Earth Orbit
The Space Station, Somewhere in Orbit. - NASA astronauts Robert Behnken and Douglas Hurley reported while in-flight in their Dragon capsule, that the liftoff was bumpy, more so than on their previous flights on the Space Shuttle. Within minutes of...
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Insect And Animal Populations Already Recovering As A Result Of Lockdown
Time Taking Longer To Happen During Lockdown
Elon Musk Creates Time Machine, Sends Tesla Cybertruck Into The Past
Archaeologists Discover The Bones of A Fighting Bull Underneath the North Pole
Man Has Gone To Live In Parallel Universe
Man Decides To Count World's Ant Population
The Newly Developed Coronavirus Whistling Test Works Like A Charm
No one is teaching Pythagorus's Theorum
Coronavirus 'Antidote' Found
Man Concerned Over Watermelon Seed He Swallowed
Hallmark Channel Causes Weight Gain in Women
Galapagos Islands Turtle Tests Positive For Coronavirus
Brilliant Writer Has Fucked Up Weekend Beginning With Loss Of Entire Novel On "Piece-Of-Shit" USB Flash Drive
Midwest. After spending 10 years carefully managing his time, avoiding high-stress professional careers, and using every single ounce of his creative energy to construct a massive science fiction novel, Minnesota resident and part-time administrativ...
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Man Sets Out To Re-invent The Wheel
A man who has, clearly, got a few slates missing, has astounded his family, friends and neighbors by informing them that he is to try to re-invent the wheel. The wheel, which has been used since ancient times - before even 1950 - has become an ind…
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Elon Musk discovers space station orbiting Earth
This week, SpaceX launched the first ever rocket from US soil into space, and the crew were astonished to find a strange alien space station already orbiting the Earth. "It was totally unexpected," said baboon-faced Musk. "We thought we were the p...
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Man Sheltered From Thunder And Lightning Under Tree
A man who was in the countryside, far from home, when a deluge threatened to soak himself and his family, has revealed he took refuge underneath a tamarind tree - even though this exposed them to the danger of being struck by lightning. Moys Kenwo...
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Obscure mad scientist recognised at last
Evolutionary scientist Geoff Murd has finally been recognised with a blue plaque for his work in genetics in the 1920s. Long after Lamarckian evolution had been disproven, Murd decided to try to prove it was actually true by a series of extraordinari...
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Bored Tesla AI Assaults Driver
(Albuquerque, NM) A Tesla Model S owned by Lalo Salamanca, resident of the sprawling metropolitan area around Albuquerque, New Mexico, is the latest owner of a vehicle from that manufacturer to report extremely unusual behavior that borders on downri...
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Aardvark Trampoline in development
Scientists in Little Big Toe, Arkansas, have been busy during lockdown developing a new fun form of the trampoline for Aardvarks. 'It is not really for aardvarks ' said lead scientist, Brick Underlay, 'it is for all animals, but we felt that, in t...
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Scientists at NASA Now Admit That the Big Dipper is Really Not as Big as Everyone Thinks It Is
HOUSTON – A group of extremely brilliant scientists at NASA have made an amazing discovery regarding the Big Dipper (aka Ursa Major). After implementing a brand new state-of-the-art extremely-high-powered telescope, that was produced on the Paci...
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Trump awarded Noble Prize for research into viral disinfectants and invasive light therapy
Scientists in Warsaw, Poland have awarded the 2020 Noble Prize for scientific research to U.S. President Donald J. Trump for advancements in the fields of internal viral disinfectants and invasive light therapy. The Noble Committee made the announce...
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So, The Fake President Is Suggesting Disinfectant Enemas To Get Rid Of Coronavirus
So, at a press conference or election rally, after calling a few reporters representing fake news, President Trump suggested what sounded like using disinfectant enemas to kill the coronavirus. Editor’s note: You are fired. Reply: Wait, hear me...
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Greta Thunberg: Only A Meteor Can Save Us From Coronavirus
Greta Thunberg has a lot on her plate, these days. As if accelerated climate change and impending environmental disaster through global warming weren't enough for the young Swedish activist, there's now the Coronavirus to contend with - it never rain...
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Man Read 'The Purple Cloud' By M.P. Shiel, And Stared To Get A Bit Frightened
A man has told about how he read the 1901 classic science fiction novel, 'The Purple Cloud' by the British writer, M.P. Shiel, and, having finished it, started to become very afraid, indeed. The story is one of a man, Adam Jeffson, who is a member...
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Scientists Reluctantly Share New “Earth-Like” Planet Discovery
(Pasadena, California) On what would normally be joyously hailed as “hope that a second Earth lies among the stars,” scientists at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory at the California Institute of Technology today unenthusiastically mentioned the disco...
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Man Teaches Crab A Lesson It Will Never Forget
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Greta Thunberg Nominated For Several Awards
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Millions Of Flying Insects Invade Man's Property
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LAX to Ban All Cars Under "Trikes Only" Policy
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Space Junk A Threat To Spacial Warming
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Scientists discover rare 70s pervert DNA
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Pringle not looking forward to going into someone's stomach
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Greta Thunberg Is Pregnant
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Extremely Talented Writer Good At Basically Nothing Else In Life Loses Entire Novel After Improperly Removing USB Flash Drive From Dell Laptop
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Recent Studies Show That Men Who Kiss Women With Red Lipstick Become More Virile
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Treatment to eliminate pedophilia has been discovered
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Surgeon General Warns about Secondhand Gas
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Butterfly Wings Found, Without Host
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Mars Rover determines that Mars is FLAT!
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Rainbow Christmas Crackers
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Man Finds Giant Seashells In His Back Garden
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Gugu announces rat killing wireless utility power at CES
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Donald Trump To Have Dinner With Greta Thunberg
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Satellite Images Confirm Sun Is A Big, Round, Blazing Ball Of Searing-hot Plasma
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Man Discovers Time Travel and Finds It Isn't What He Expected
