Ben Carson Will Perform Brain Surgery on Eric Trump
Mar-A-Lago, FL Eric Trump's sitter lost track of him for a few minutes and found him passed out on the floor after sticking a fork in the electrical outlet. When he woke up, his speaking was odder than usual. Trump was ordered by Melania to call a do...Read full story
Man Watches Documentary About Saltwater Crocodiles In Which Narrator Repeatedly Said The Word 'Copulation'
A man watching a wildlife documentary about Saltwater Crocodiles on cable TV, found it remarkable the number of times the narrator said the word 'copulation' or derivatives of it, and the relish with which he said them. The show, 'Animal Planet' c...Read full story
Trump Sees Ant-Man and Wasp Movie and Wants Scientists to Build Him a Super-Suit
Mir-A-Lago, FL President Trump tweeted today that America's scientists are way behind where they should be. "Why haven't our scientists invented something like Ant-Man's little cars or an Iron Man suit like in the movies? I think, as President, I...Read full story
RSPCA Threat to Take Schrödinger's Cat Dead or Alive
Renowned Austrian physicist Erwin Schrödinger was outraged this morning when he heard that RSPCA inspectors intended to raid his laboratory in an attempt to seize his cat, Tiddles, after allegations of animal cruelty. An exasperated Tiddles spoke...Read full story
Astronomers discriminate against trans-Neptunian objects
For years, astronomers have shown a preference for studying the eight main planets of the solar system, disregarding "almost everything beyond Uranus" as famous astronomer Edwin Hubble once said. Yet now, a new movement is aiming to overcome these...Read full story
Elon Musk's latest invention: a paedo sniffer
The world of criminal investigation was cockahoop today after billionaire fish-faced eccentric Elon Musk revealed his latest invention. At a press conference, Musk wore one of his new prosthetic noses and was able to identify three members of the pre...Read full story
Trump to Continue Dictator TourThere are still a few dictators in the world that Trump hasn't groveled to.
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Joined: 17 July 2008
Stories Written: 35
Joined: 17 July 2008
Stories Written: 35
German scientists grow brains to replace ones in politicians heads!
Donald Trump's brain is about to be replaced by a version grown in a German lab. The US president doesn't know about the planned operation, but the US senate have approved the move hoping at last some common sense will exit his vile mouth! German...Read full story
Amber Amphibians! Frogs destroy evolution fairytale. Again.
The daily onslaught against the myth of evolution has taken another crushing blow. Tiny frogs have been discovered in amber, looking very much like modern day frogs. The only snag is, that these ancient amber amphibians are claimed to be 99 millio...Read full story
Hydrogren and Oxygen really only sticking together for the kids
Mike Hydrogen and Kate Oxygen, known throughout the world as the important duo Water, have admitted that they are really only sticking together for the kids. Hydrogren said: 'I always felt I was doing all of the work. There I was, putting in twice...Read full story
In New Study Harvard University Finds Vaping Causes Loneliness
Vaping is the act of inhaling and exhaling an aerosol, often referred to as vapor, which is produced by an e-cigarette or similar device. Aerosol, often mistaken for water vapor, actually consists of fine particles. Many of these particles contain va...Read full story
Flat Earth Society plan mission to Mars
The Flat Earth Society has grown in popularity in recent years, as the chronic underfunding of education starts to bite, and civilisation begins its inevitable decline back to the Stone Age. Prominent Flat Earthers include Kanye West, Jacob Rees-Mogg...Read full story
Calculator Stopped Working At Critical Time
A calculator which was being used to 'tot up' a list of figures, stopped working at a critical point yesterday, just as the person using it was about to press the '=' sign. Moys Kenwood, 54, received the 'electronic calculating apparatus' as a Chr...Read full story
Man Woken Up By Own Fart
A man was stirred from his slumbers in Cambodia last night after hearing a noise which he subsequently realised was his own anus speaking to him through the medium of a fart. Moys Kenwood, an Englishman, was fast asleep when, from the depths of hi...Read full story