Funny story: Baker Devoted Lifetime to Creating Heels-Only Loaf

Baker Devoted Lifetime to Creating Heels-Only Loaf

Elmira, NY. Henry Ulshred, once a baker to European royalty but who gave it up to pursue a dream, died yesterday in his adopted homeland at age 92. The cause of death was not announced. Ulshred, who changed his name from Shrdlu when he became a ro...

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Funny story: Man Says There's No Scientific Basis Behind 'She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not'

Man Says There's No Scientific Basis Behind 'She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not'

A man who knows about stuff like this, has said there is absolutely no scientific basis whatsoever behind the ages-old petal-pulling decision-making theory of "She loves me, she loves me not..." The practice of pulling individual petals from a...

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Funny story: Trump Threatens to Send Scientists That Talk About Global Warming to Jail for Spreading Fake News

Trump Threatens to Send Scientists That Talk About Global Warming to Jail for Spreading Fake News

Mar-A-Lago, Florida President Trump, in an impromptu press conference on his golf course's 5th hole, talked about what a nice sunny day it was, but it was still cold at the North and South Pole. The President then stated that the cold weather proved...

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Funny story: Concern grows over DeepMind's video game addiction

Concern grows over DeepMind's video game addiction

Researchers at DeepMind, the lab owned by Google parent company Alphabet, are becoming increasingly concerned over the amount of time its AI project spends playing popular video games. After becoming champion of the known universe in games like ches...

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Funny story: Minestrone fad still spreading

Minestrone fad still spreading

To most adults, minestrone is a vomit-textured soup available in a packet from all cheap supermarkets. But to youngsters and hipsters, it is the latest craze in gaming. Minestrone is the world's most popular video game on mobile phones. The aim of...

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Funny story: China To Repair Ozone Layer With Steamed Minced Pork Buns

China To Repair Ozone Layer With Steamed Minced Pork Buns

The disturbing news this week that dangerous chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs) traceable to China are directly responsible for damage to the ozone layer, has met with a swift response from the Chinese authorities - they are to repair the damage with steamed...

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Funny story: Man's Telephone Has Lost Its Color Function, And Is Now Black-And-White Only, Like 'Rumble Fish' (1983)

Man's Telephone Has Lost Its Color Function, And Is Now Black-And-White Only, Like 'Rumble Fish' (1983)

A telephone that has lost its color function, so that everything that appears on its screen is in black-and-white only, reminded its owner of one of his all-time favorite films, the Francis Ford Coppola-produced 'Rumble Fish' (1983). The telephone...

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Funny story: Cheese Discovered On Mouse's Whiskers

Cheese Discovered On Mouse's Whiskers

Animal lovers were celebrating this morning after scientists in an animal testing laboratory in Buckinghamshire revealed that they had found cheese on the whiskers of a mouse. Dr Andrew Glockenspiel, who works at the laboratory in Chesham, near Ay...

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Funny story: World's most hated whale safe from extinction

World's most hated whale safe from extinction

The South Arctic Thick-beaked Ass Whale has been registered as endangered since 1961, but is now safe from extinction, according to the UN Whale Counting Board. The Thick-beaked Ass Whale is peculiar for its hideous appearance and for being the only...

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Funny story: Iceland launches new low cost cryonics service

Iceland launches new low cost cryonics service

Frozen food retailer Iceland took the lucrative cryonics industry by surprise today with the launch of a low cost service for those wishing to freeze their body, or parts of it, for the future. Marketed under the brand name 'Super-Chill', the serv...

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Funny story: Abacus still works after 66 years in loft

Abacus still works after 66 years in loft

When Cambridge astrophysicist Dr Aaron Phelps recently sorted out his loft he was thrilled to discover the abacus his parents gave him on his first birthday, back in 1953. "I had no idea it was up there," Dr Phelps told us. "I thought it had been...

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Funny story: Mad Trump Disease and the Nationalist Voter

Mad Trump Disease and the Nationalist Voter

Mad Trump disease, or Nationalist spongiform fast food encephalopathy (NSFFE), is a transmissible, slowly progressive, degenerative and fatal disease affecting the brain of adult idiots. The USDA estimates that at least 40% of nationalist voters suff...

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Funny story: Simple brain zapper gives older adults the cognitive skills of a 20 year old

Simple brain zapper gives older adults the cognitive skills of a 20 year old

A Birmingham man has invented an electrical device which he claims dramatically improves the working memory of older adults. The ‘Cerebrummie’ is the brainchild of retired BT engineer Arthur Monke and goes on sale next week for only £4.99 in selec...

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Funny story: Outrage at Facebook IQ and Extremism Test

Outrage at Facebook IQ and Extremism Test

In a bid to resurrect its faltering reputation, and in the face of a possible US$3billion fine, Facebook Nerd-in-Chief, Mark Zuckerberg, has decided to clean up his corrupt organisation. Not before time, you might say. In a surprise and hastily-c...

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Funny story: Teacher Embarrassed By Algebra Question

Teacher Embarrassed By Algebra Question

A teacher at a school in Bangkok was left red-faced on Friday after a student asked him a question about algebra that he could not answer. Moys Kenwood, 49, was teaching a Science lesson, during the course of which, the name 'Albert Einstein' came...

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Funny story: First Black Hole Contains Second Black Hole

First Black Hole Contains Second Black Hole

Scientists analyzing photographs sent back to Earth from the Event Horizon Telescope, which was used to capture the very first images of a black hole, have said that there appears to be another black hole inside the first black hole. The original...

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Funny story: Neural Implant that Could Translate Brain Activity in Stupid People

Neural Implant that Could Translate Brain Activity in Stupid People

Most humble, open-minded people can not only communicate with well-structured sentences, but also with gestures such as subtle eye movements. Then, there are those individuals who are arrogant and stupid-ass. They can't read any subtle gestures, l...

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Funny story: Farmers Discuss What A Lettuce Would Be Called, If It Wasn't Called A Lettuce

Farmers Discuss What A Lettuce Would Be Called, If It Wasn't Called A Lettuce

High-level discussions have been taking place on an agricultural estate in Lincolnshire this afternoon, with regard to what people would call a lettuce if it wasn't already known as a lettuce. For those who are not 'in the know', an agricultural e...

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Funny story: HI-R-ME4 Robotics Research Lab Facing Litigation and Bankruptcy

HI-R-ME4 Robotics Research Lab Facing Litigation and Bankruptcy

HI-R-ME4 Robotics Research Corporation was supposed to be the "darling" of the high-tech world, but its recent failures have placed it in existential jeopardy. "I don't know what went wrong! We developed HI-R-ME4 in an effort to create a high-fun...

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Funny story: Black Hole Needs To Pull Up Its Pants

Black Hole Needs To Pull Up Its Pants

Newly-released images have stunned the scientific community. A Nobel Prize recipient was quoted as saying, "Nobody wants to see that. Put on some underwear or something." This latest test confirms the hypothesis that the universe is composed of...

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