Scientists Still Looking for a Cure for Whatever It Is That Trump's Got
Science Town, USA "We knew it was going to be bad once we started looking into it" spoke a leading scientist at the most recent Science Convention. "Yes, but who would have thought it could be THIS bad--and it's spread to the whole family!" spoke...
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Aliens On Way To Earth
Images captured by a NASA space monitoring satellite have confirmed that Earth is likely to come under attack from an alien strike force before the end of the century. The images show aliens advancing in formation at a very slow pace, indeed. Pres...
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Harry Maguire To Push Some Buttons On The Hadron Collider
Harry Maguire, the Manchester United central defender, has announced he will be flying to Geneva next week, to travel to Cern where scientists continue to work on the Hadron Collider, a big machine with which they are attempting to recreate the condi...
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Don't Forget To Set Your Clocks Back One Hour, Then Ahead One Hour
Daylights Wasting Time is upon us. Tomorrow morning at precisely 2 a.m., set your clocks back to 1 a.m. Then, wait an hour for it to turn 2 a.m. again. This time, set the clock ahead one hour to 3 a.m. And that's it. You're all set. You won't h...
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Iceland Is Melting
An environmental crisis is unfolding in the north Atlantic, after it was revealed that, due to global warning and climate change, Iceland is melting. The Nordic island country with a population of just under 358,781 used to have an area of 103,000...
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Teacher Spent Entire Term Trying To Teach Students About Token Sea Creatures
A science teacher at a local school has revealed how he has just spent an entire fucking term in a pathetic and pointless attempt to teach students who had only very basic English language skills, about ridiculously-token sea creatures such as the oc...
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Girl Asked Teacher To Spell Difficult Word
California Earthquakes Triggered by Secret U. S. Nuke Tests
Chemistry Weekly Round-Up
Minestrone fad still spreading
European Heatwave: Woman Fries Egg On Her Husband's Baldpatch
China To Repair Ozone Layer With Steamed Minced Pork Buns
Trump Threatens to Send Scientists That Talk About Global Warming to Jail for Spreading Fake News
Baker Devoted Lifetime to Creating Heels-Only Loaf
Gecko Eaten By Army Of Ants
Concern grows over DeepMind's video game addiction
Spirulina Is Soylent Green
Outrage at Facebook IQ and Extremism Test
Weather Forecast For Today
The recent heatwave that's been making things very uncomfortable for some people, especially when trying to sleep, is set to continue in many areas, but there is an end in sight. Here's the weather forecast for the next few days, where YOU are: If...
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Student Allowed To Eat A Mentos Mint, Then Drink Coke, "In The Name Of Science"
A science teacher at a school has said that he gave permission to one of his students to undertake the extraordinarily dangerous challenge of eating a Mentos mint and then quoffing a bottle of Coca Cola, "for the benefit of the other students", and "...
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Canada's Famed Ice Hills Disappearing; Global Warming Victims
Tuktovaktuk [Tuk], Northwest Territories, Canada. Special to The Spoof - via dogsled. Canada's famed ice hills, formally known as pingos, have fallen victim to global warming. The Canadian government has undertaken drastic countermeasures in an attem...
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Hot Weather To Continue Until It Cools Down A Bit
Weather forecasters across Europe have said that the searing temperatures that are currently causing so much discomfort to so many people in so many countries, shows no sign of letting up, and is set to continue until it cools off a bit. The heat,...
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North Pole is Missing - in More Ways Than One
Warsaw, Poland. Spoof News Service. Etaoin Shrdlu, fresh from his disappointing effort to locate the Arctic Circle, has reportedly failed in a second venture, this time into the ice north of Canada. This trek was financed by the Polish government.
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Erectile Dysfunction Man Cured By Sexy Wench With Big Oomlaaters
Medical personnel at one of Berlin's top research institutes have admitted they were "speechless" after a patient who had suffered erectile dysfunction for more than 14 years, was suddenly 'cured' when he set eyes upon a supersexy barmaid with whoppi...
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Could American Politics Create Hyper-Alternate Quantum Vortex?
Geneva, Switzerland - CERN scientists at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) often study the most extreme states which can exist in the fabric of reality. Particle behavior within super-massive black holes ceases to fit the Proton-Electron model that all...
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Apollo 14 Golf Balls May Never Be Found
NASA officials say that the golf balls struck from the Moon's surface by Commander Alan Shepard during the Apollo 14 mission in February 1971, may never be found. Shepard drove the first 6-iron shot from a dusty lie on February 9, but, although he...
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Michael Jackson Apollo 14 Rumor Denied
NASA officials have, this morning, vigorously denied that the former King of Pop, Michael Jackson, was one of the members of crew on the Apollo 14 mission to land on the Moon in 1971. A spokesman initially said that nothing could be more ridiculou...
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Amazon's Alexa sending my boyfriend saucy pics claims London woman
A 23-year-old woman from Whitechapel in East London, last night revealed that her Alexa electronic device has been sending her boyfriend semi-pornographic photos of itself posing in a variety of different saucy outfits and engaging in acts of onanism...
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Scientists Nominate Donald Trump to be the First Man on Mars
Science Town, USA In an inspiring show of patriotism, a majority of scientists believe that President Trump should have the honor of being the first man on Mars. "I think Trump has proved he has the stamina, persistence, and resiliency to make the...
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NASA celebrate 50 years of pretending to go to the Moon
It was fifty years ago this week, that NASA sent a manned rocket to the Moon, or so they claimed. When Neil Armstrong stepped onto the lunar surface, he should have drowned in soft cheese. Instead, he calmly said the line, "That's one small step for...
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Teacher Embarrassed By Algebra Question
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First Black Hole Contains Second Black Hole
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World's most hated whale safe from extinction
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Abacus still works after 66 years in loft
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Man's Telephone Has Lost Its Color Function, And Is Now Black-And-White Only, Like 'Rumble Fish' (1983)
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First Black Hole Image Released: Einstein Speaks Out
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Could Photographic Tongues Replace Eyes And Smartphones?
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Black Holes: Potential For Environmental Waste Disposal 'Enormous', Claims Man
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Black Hole Needs To Pull Up Its Pants
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Neural Implant that Could Translate Brain Activity in Stupid People
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Simple brain zapper gives older adults the cognitive skills of a 20 year old
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Iceland launches new low cost cryonics service
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Mad Trump Disease and the Nationalist Voter
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Cheese Discovered On Mouse's Whiskers
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Longest Day Is Good News For Little Pigs
