A Leading Seismologist Predicts That a Gigantic Tsunami Will Probably Hit Malibu Beach in July of 2021
LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) - One of the state’s leading seismologists is predicting that a huge tsunami could hit Malibu Beach in May of 2021. Gavin Stravinsky has successfully predicted tsunamis in the Philippines, New Zealand, at the South Pole…Read full story
The Mars Land Rover Has Just Sent Back An Amazing Photo
HOUSTON – (Satire News) - Everyone at NASA is extremely shocked at a photo that the Mars Land Rover has just sent back. The photo clearly shows a wooden home with a dog in front of it. NASA scientists are totally baffled at the photo, which the…Read full story
So Long, Suckers! International Space Station Warps Out of Orbit For The Final Frontier
In a surprising display of secret technology and a big round of raspberries directed at the people of the Earth, the International Space Station warped out of orbit. How, you may ask, could a mere tin-can space station break orbit and travel into de…Read full story
Farting now socially acceptable due to social distancing!
(UNEDITED) It matters not if 2 metres or 1.5 metres, a once socially unacceptable habit has now become acceptable in restaurants, pubs, cafes, etc; farting! Before corona, if people felt discomfort forming due to combustible build ups in the belly…Read full story
German cat has 'Fly-Phobia' - unheard of before!
Eifel, Germany: A cat has been discovered with a quite unique phobia, and has been sent to the Robert Koch Institute, Munich, for further examination. A farm cat, non-domestic, named Anton, not from Tyrol, was seen twitching, blinking and running for…Read full story
Strange sightings of breath mint-shaped objects continue to puzzle officials
Pentagon officials are at a loss to explain a flood of reports of breath mint-shaped objects flying over U.S. military bases. Following the 2017 release of the now famous Tic Tac video, sightings of similar objects have increased dramatically. Now,…Read full story
Oceanic Scientists Say That It’s Time We Changed the Name of The Sperm Whales
MIAMI – Some of the nation’s leading oceanic scientists have commented that it is time we changed the name of sperm whales. The whales were first discovered by Portuguese explorer, Valdivino Bernardo Sperm in late November of 1617. V.B. actuall…Read full story
Dutch wife demands to know why her husbands' poop stinks more than hers!
(UNEDITED) After doing what every living creature on the planet must do, pooping, a Dutch woman ranted at her hubby demanding to know why his stinks and hers doesn't? "Don't blame me! Go to the local laboratory and find out because we eat the same…Read full story
Leaked Report Says There Are 'Too Many Humans' On The Planet
Details of a report commissioned by the World Health Organization (WHO) into how viruses spread throughout large communities, have been leaked to at least one member of the press, who has gone public with the information. The WHO commissioned the…Read full story
A Scientist Has Discovered That Cicadas Have Been Sent From Outer Space in Order To Irritate The Citizens of Earth
BOSTON – One of the most respected entomologists in the country has just made an amazing discovery. Dr. Kamayaki Susu, who is the head of the Boston College School of Entomology, stated that he has been studying cicadas for 41 years. He express…Read full story
Sun Comes Up Again
There was good news for fans of stability again, this morning, as, just as it has for the last 8.6billion years of the Earth's history, the Sun rose again over everyone's eastern horizon, bringing a bright, new day to each and every one of us. In…Read full story
Ant eating will save the world, not the ants!
Scientists have discovered that eating certain species of ants could save half of the world from starvation, and those who are obese, and love junk food, should be forced to eat ants to save astronomical health costs and airlines enlarging their seat…Read full story
Snake venom kills Covid-19 virus!
A Indian man wandering through his local jungle in India, carrying the coronavirus, failed to keep social distance with a sleeping viper basking in the sun. In fact, the man trod on its tail! In response, the viper made a slightly defensive response,...Read full story
'Wear Normal Shoes And Save The Planet' Rants Fort Lauderdale Man
Fort Lauderdale man, Frank Tunc, unleashed a vitriolic tirade of abuse on his Facebook page yesterday, demanding that friends, family and anyone else with access to his profile, stop wearing footwear that is damaging the planet. The post, which wa…Read full story
Planetary Scientists Want To Change the Name Uranus to Rectalinia
HOUSTON – It is being reported by several publications that experts in the world of planetary science are urging President Trump to change the name of the planet Uranus to Rectalinia. They state that it is time, once and for all, to put an end to...Read full story
Google AI Goes "Jerk-Wad" After Self-Awareness
SAN FRANCISCO - Several experts in the computer technology field learned of Google having an AI which achieved Self-Awareness, soon after the event occurred. For the most part, developers who were involved in the research kept all of their informatio…Read full story
Man Sets Out To Re-invent The Wheel
A man who has, clearly, got a few slates missing, has astounded his family, friends and neighbors by informing them that he is to try to re-invent the wheel. The wheel, which has been used since ancient times - before even 1950 - has become an ind…Read full story
Man Sets Out To Disinvent The Internet
A man who says he is incensed at the way modern-day society has become a "slave to technology", with seemingly everything controlled by the internet, has announced that he is determined to halt this process, and make the 'world wide web' a thing of t…Read full story
Brilliant Writer Has Fucked Up Weekend Beginning With Loss Of Entire Novel On "Piece-Of-Shit" USB Flash Drive
Midwest. After spending 10 years carefully managing his time, avoiding high-stress professional careers, and using every single ounce of his creative energy to construct a massive science fiction novel, Minnesota resident and part-time administrativ...Read full story
Elon Musk discovers space station orbiting Earth
This week, SpaceX launched the first ever rocket from US soil into space, and the crew were astonished to find a strange alien space station already orbiting the Earth. "It was totally unexpected," said baboon-faced Musk. "We thought we were the p...Read full story