MONTREAL – (Sports Satire) – The local newspapers are reporting that the head cheerleader for the Montreal Jr. College Beavers hurt her pubic region when a very difficult cheerleading maneuver went horribly wrong.
Joanie F. Mackinberger, 19, was to jump from a group of 4 cheerleaders to another group of 4 cheerleaders while doing the extremely difficult quadruple spin-a-la-vichyssoise.
But for some reason, one of the cheerleaders lost her train-of-thought and she forgot to catch Joanie’s left breast as the cheerleading routine called for, so as a result Joanie fell to the ground with a hell-of-a-thud.
She was rushed to the St. Buffalo Herd Hospital, where a team of body specialists worked on her for 55 minutes and stated that Joanie will be back to her old self in about 4 to 11 days.
Meanwhile, Joanie’s parents, Mr and Mrs Burton Mackinberger, were going to file a lawsuit against the school, but changed their mind when told that if they did, then Joanie would be terminated from being the head cheerleader, she would not be allowed to graduate, and she would be fined $900, for reckless endangerment of her fellow cheerleaders.
SIDENOTE: Noted Las Vegas sports gambler Charles "The Round Mound" Barkley has stated that he will pay all of Joanie's hospital bills.