Funny story: An Elderly Couple In Colorado Ignores The Shelter-in-Place Directive and Sneaks Out Dressed as Douglas Firs

An Elderly Couple In Colorado Ignores The Shelter-in-Place Directive and Sneaks Out Dressed as Douglas Firs

STEAMBOAT SPRINGS, Colorado - Many of the states have imposed a self-isolation policy as well as a shelter-in-place policy. And for the most part the vast majority of the people are adhering to these national and state directives except for a stub...

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Funny story: Purdue Pharma Recommends Oxycontin for Treating Coronavirus Self-Quarantine Symptoms

Purdue Pharma Recommends Oxycontin for Treating Coronavirus Self-Quarantine Symptoms

While there is currently no known cure for COVID-19 itself, Purdue Pharma, the maker of the opioid drug Oxycontin, issued a statement recommending Oxycontin for off-label use in treating the symptoms of coronavirus self-quarantine – which may include...

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Funny story: New York Man Realizes He Has No Potential

New York Man Realizes He Has No Potential

“I always felt bad about myself for not realizing my full potential,” said Calvin Doyle of Brooklyn, New York. “But then I realized that I probably had – there just wasn’t much to realize. Hardly anything, in fact.” According to Doyle, the realiza...

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Funny story: Justin Trudeau Resigns Amidst Coronavirus Pandemic

Justin Trudeau Resigns Amidst Coronavirus Pandemic

Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, sent shock waves through Canada during his daily press briefing on Wednesday morning, after announcing that he would be stepping down as the Prime Minister of Canada. The forty-eight-year-old leader said in...

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Funny story: Central American Immigrants Have Stopped Coming To the USA Because They Fear They’ll Catch the C-19 Flu Virus

Central American Immigrants Have Stopped Coming To the USA Because They Fear They’ll Catch the C-19 Flu Virus

LAREDO, Texas – The Laredo sector of the Border Patrol has stated that the apprehension of illegal immigrants has dropped by 98%. BP spokesperson, Benardo Poggenpohl, said that in his conversation with one of the Guatemalan detainees, he was told,...

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Funny story: The C-19 Scare Is Causing People in North Dakota to Stock Up on Marshmallows

The C-19 Scare Is Causing People in North Dakota to Stock Up on Marshmallows

PETTIBONE, North Dakota – In the winter time, the temperatures in Pettibone can get down to 37 degrees below zero. And, when that happens, many North Dakotans have seen woodpeckers whose peckers simply fall off. Luckily, they do start to grow...

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Funny story: The White House Says The Annual White House Easter Egg Roll Will Go on As Scheduled

The White House Says The Annual White House Easter Egg Roll Will Go on As Scheduled

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald J Trump has informed Vice-President Pence that even though the majority of the American people have called him crazy, he has decided to go ahead and hold the annual White House Easter Egg Hunt. According to eye...

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Funny story: President Trump Has Orgy With Demi Lovato, Nicki Minaj, Kellyanne Conway And Meghan Markle

President Trump Has Orgy With Demi Lovato, Nicki Minaj, Kellyanne Conway And Meghan Markle

WASHINGTON, DC - White House officials are, this morning, denying rumours of a spectacular orgy in which Trump participated. That's President Donald Trump, you understand. Some writers don't explain that; they just say 'Trump', inferring some k...

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Funny story: Joe Biden Reminisces Back ToThe Day When He Won Super Bowl III

Joe Biden Reminisces Back ToThe Day When He Won Super Bowl III

Sitting in his campaign office headquarters in Washington DC, presidential candidate, Joe Biden, started reminiscing about his past heroics, which included the time in 1879, when he single-handedly developed a vaccine for yellow fever. Then, in 1955...

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Funny story: Melania Trump Anagram Competition Announced

Melania Trump Anagram Competition Announced

There was great excitement across the whole of America last night, and the Fox News switchboard was jammed, as hordes of callers started to phone the station with their 'Melania Trump Anagram Competition' submissions, and there were some interesting...

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Funny story: A Woman Becomes Pregnant While Waiting in Line at an Arkansas Walmart

A Woman Becomes Pregnant While Waiting in Line at an Arkansas Walmart

HOT SPRINGS, Arkansas – A Walmart security guard with 17 years experience, said he saw a very unusual thing while on night duty at a local Walmart. Security guard, Fabian Gribble, told the local authorities that a woman, who said her name was Bets...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Consoles Himself that He Probably Wouldn't Have Made 2020 Summer Olympics Anyway

Nashville Man Consoles Himself that He Probably Wouldn't Have Made 2020 Summer Olympics Anyway

After learning that the 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo had been postponed until July of 2021, Wayne Markham of Nashville, Tennessee, consoled himself that he probably wouldn't have made the Olympics this year, anyway. "I hadn't gotten into the real...

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Funny story: A Louisiana Sky Writer is Making a Killing Sky Writing “Stay Inside, Don’t Risk Getting Shot!”

A Louisiana Sky Writer is Making a Killing Sky Writing “Stay Inside, Don’t Risk Getting Shot!”

LAFAYETTE, Louisiana – Up until a few days ago, lifelong Louisiana resident, Jean Boniface Baptiste, was an unemployed shrimp salesman. But today, he is literally making a killing working as a sky writer. Baptiste says that he borrowed his ex-...

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Funny story: Carl Spackler Seeks Sanctuary With Dalai Lama

Carl Spackler Seeks Sanctuary With Dalai Lama

BILLINGSGATE POST: With Bushwood Country Club closed to play because of the Coronavirus epidemic, course superintendent, Carl Spackler, decided to seek refuge in Tibet with his old pal and mentor, the Dalai Lama. He writes to Dr. Billingsgate:...

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Funny story: Absence of Sexual Assault Allegations Against Sanders Causes Some to Question Viability of His Candidacy

Absence of Sexual Assault Allegations Against Sanders Causes Some to Question Viability of His Candidacy

After presumptive Republican nominee Donald Trump was recorded describing his preferred means of sexually harassing women, and Democratic front-runner Joe Biden was alleged to have sexually assaulted former staffer Tara Reade, the lack of any sexual...

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Funny story: A Costa Rican ‘Tourist’ Caught Trying to Smuggle 70 Rolls of Charmin Toilet Paper Into the USA

A Costa Rican ‘Tourist’ Caught Trying to Smuggle 70 Rolls of Charmin Toilet Paper Into the USA

CALEXICO, California - Border Patrol agents in the border town of Calexico have apprehended a person they described as being an illegal tourist. Agents Dusty Voight and Chauncey Ortega said that they were patrolling the border wall between Calexic...

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Funny story: Corona's Corona-Virus Update

Corona's Corona-Virus Update

Corona’s parent company reports that its beer sales in the U.S. are up this year, contrary to viral Facebook posts that falsely claim its U.S. sales have dropped because of the new coronavirus. Against popular belief amongst all of you Facebooker'...

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Funny story: Vice-President Pence Wants To See Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s Birth Certificate

Vice-President Pence Wants To See Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s Birth Certificate

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A White House insider has informed American Spotlight Magazine that Vice-President Mike Pence is furious that New York Governor, Andrew Cuomo, has just surpassed the president in popularity. A recent poll, taken by ASM, clearly...

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Funny story: Gas Stations in Colorado Will Start Giving out Recreational Marijuana with Every Fill Up

Gas Stations in Colorado Will Start Giving out Recreational Marijuana with Every Fill Up

ASPEN, Colorado – The state’s thousands of gas stations are joining into a business venture that they say is going to revolutionize the gas station industry. Grover Buxonheimer, spokesperson for the Colorado Gasoline Guild, has informed the public...

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Funny story: The United States Navy Responds to the Rumor That Cruise Ships are Being Diverted to the Bermuda Triangle

The United States Navy Responds to the Rumor That Cruise Ships are Being Diverted to the Bermuda Triangle

ARLINGTON, Virginia - Reports from several of the nation’s leading newspapers, say that the world’s cruise lines are expressing great concern over the recent rumors coming out of the Swampland (aka D.C.) A representative for The Wonder Cruise Lin...

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