Russian Generals and Admirals Are Quitting Putin's Military At An Alarming Rate
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - A reporter with the Veni Vidi Vici News Agency, has just learned that Putin's military is losing at least 10 high-ranking generals and admirals on a weekly basis. According to 3V reporter, Lexus Jo Dix, Putin tried…
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Only Women Supreme Court Judges Should Decide Abortion Rights
Why should abortion rights be a guy's thing to decide? What's next? Will guys on the Supreme Court decide whether women can use tampons? Does a black robe make a guy an authority about women's health issues? "No, that tampon looks too much like a…
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The Reason Why The State of Nebraska Has Filed a Lawsuit Against Delta Airlines
LINCOLN, Nebraska - (Satire News) - Reports coming out of the Corn Cob state of Nebraska state that the citizens of the mid-American state are angry as-shit at Delta Airlines. According to Cinderella St. Lamb, with The Daily Drama News Agency, the…
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Reggie Quickhands and the Rise of Supreme Court Three-Card Monte
Now that the illustrious and esteemed body known as the Supreme Court of ‘Merica is considering overturning Roe v. Wade, I had to get some details personally. So I flew in my private jet and sipped champagne and placed wagers on Indonesian cock-fight…
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Elon Musk buys Facebook, YouTube, and the US Congress
According to Elon Musk spokespersons, he has a nose for opportunities. Not satisfied with merely the purchase of Twitter, he is now moving the goal posts toward additional targets for his billionaire appetite. He would take the CEO role for var…
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President Putin Is Suffering From Tonsilitis, Laryngitis, Diarrhea, Syphirea, and Fucking Guilt
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - According to The Alpha Beta News Agency, Russian president Vladimir Nikita Putin, is now the most hateful, despicable, evil, world leader in the world. Reporter Mimosa Sabrosa, with ABNA, said that even 89% of Pu…
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Would You Buy A Pound Of Baloney From Kevin McCarthy?
Soros = soroS: The Looking Glass War
Hollywood Virginia Courtroom Says ... We Love You Johnny!
Sex Hotline for Dirty Democrats
How Can White Guys Ignore Subpoenas?
A Obese Woman From Seattle Swallows 119 Diet Pills and Loses 16 Pounds In 45 Minutes
Taxidermist To The Stars: He Stuffed And Mounted President Biden
The US Government Annouces That Donald Trump Must Pay a $40 Million Fine
The Pope Warns Putin That If He Uses Nukes Against Ukraine - He'll Demand That All of The World's Nations Attack Russia
Florida Governor DeSantis Admits He Tanned His Testicles
An Iowa Farmer Says He Has A Piglet That Can Sing In Three Languages
Florida Republicans Grooming Children for Tax Hikes
Ron DeSantis Working Out at the Don't Say Gay Gym
I tried a new gym the other day and saw Ron DeSantis on the bench press. I went up and asked if he was a member, and after staring at my crotch for a solid thirty seconds, he said, “Yeah, I pump. I pump hard. See my lats and delts and pecs? T…
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There Is A Big Proliferation of Illegal Canadian Immigrants Gathering On My Yard!!!
THAT DOES IT!!! I'VE HAD IT!!! It is bad enough that we have thousands of immigrants at our southern border trying to get into the U.S. so that they can become ILLEGAL immigrants (as though we don't have too many already!!!) but now we have thousa…
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The Real Reason Why Canada Has Banned Female Mounties
OTTAWA, Canada - (Satire News) - Ipso Facto News (Canada) has just let it be known that Canada has decided to ban hiring any females into their Canadian Mounty Organization. Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, stated that the reason for the change in h…
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Ted Cruz Denied Asylum In Mexico
Cancun, Mexico - Mexican government officials announced today that Republican Senator Ted Cruz was denied asylum in Mexico. The shamed Texas Senator attempted to defect, but was apprehended in Cancun and deported back to the U.S. Cruz, allegedly r…
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Republican Texas State Senator Dawn Buckingham Runs For Non-Existent Office
Austin, Texas - Dawn Buckingham, Republican Texas State Senator (SD-24), announced on Monday that she will not seek senate re-election so she can run for “Texas Reptroller” - a position that does not exist. “Just as I have served the great, white,…
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Marjorie is a Man’s Woman, According to a McRib Sandwich
Marjorie Taylor Greene has stated once again that women come from Adam’s rib and, therefore, must always remain subservient to the men in their lives. To cheers and applause, she then stepped off the stage at her Georgia megachurch, and was embrac…
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91% of All American Women Who Fly Positively Love The Airport's New Automatic Frisking Machines
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - The union that represents airport security guards, (aka Friskers) are very angry at the new advancement. BuzzFuzz is reporting that close to 78% of the "Friskers" have been laid off due to the fact that every major…
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Joe Manchin, AKA The Democrat Traitor, Assaulted By Three Second Graders At A McDonalds
SHEEP SHIT, West Virginia - (Satire News) - Two of the most hated politicians in the US are Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia, and Joe Manchin of West Virginia. Tapioca Swizzle, reporter with Vox Populi has stated that if meaness, stupidity, and h…
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President Biden Says Nancy Pelosi Has Bigger Balls Than Putin and Trump Put Together
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - President Biden has always liked Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi for many reasons. Two of the reasons he noted were because she can speak 9 languages (8 fluently) and she knows the names of every horse that has…
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Sen. Madison Cawthorn Has More Problems Than Even His Hero Donald Trump
VENUS FLY TRAP, North Carolina - (Satire News) - The much troubled senator from Upper Carolina, as North Carolinians call their state, now has even more problems. Cawthorn, which means chimp chump in Zimbabwean, is now being charged with insider t…
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Wars And Guns Kill More Than Abortions Stop Fertilized Eggs
On the one hand, there are pro-life people. No abortion for the fourteen-year-old rape victim. Abortions kill. On the other hand, the same pro-life people are pro-gun. A gun isn't like a Kitchen Aid or a leaf blower. Guns kill people. While Su…
Read full storyLatest Spoof US Headlines
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Trump Admits That His Health Issues Will Prevent Him From Running In 2024
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Alabama Erects A Statue In Honor of Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump
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Is Stacey Abrams ___ing Donald Trump?
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Texas Republican Rep. Briscoe Cain Hospitalized With Serious Brain Problem After “Maniacal Tantrum”
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The Russian KGB Has Just Arrested Vladimir Putin
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I DIDN’T storm out of Piers Morgan interview – I stormed IN and Piers Morgan reversed the video to make it look like I stormed OUT – so fake (by guest editor D. Trump)
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A Man In Brooklyn Is Arrested For Trying To Sell A Counterfeit Zebra To Undercover FBI Agents
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Biden Picks Disinformation Board: Overlooks Dr. Billingsgate
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Ozark Finale Ignites Ire Of Fans
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Switzerland To Join NATO
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Donald’s Donkey Balls
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If Texas Governor Greg Abbott Worked Making Burgers At McDonald's His Hate-Filled Ass Would Have Been Fired The First Day
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Dr. Oz Makes a House Call -- to the U.S. Senate
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Biden Claims He was Once the Easter Bunny: "Colored Eggs are Just as Bright as White Eggs"
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Easter Bunny Rescues The President
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The Pope Is Flying To Ukraine
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New Study Finds Republican Brains Are Inferior - May Be Different Species
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Slim Everdingle Fingers Christopher Steele As Supreme Court Leaker
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Did Trump Give Putin Top Secret Documents Taken To Mar-a-Lago?
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Putin Attempting To Redeem Reputation As A Humanitarian
