Trump has just picked Ted Cruz to be his vice-presidential running mate
Well ladies and gentleman, it is now official, Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump, who many are calling the "Teflon Racist" has just informed the news media that he has chosen Guatemala native Sen. Ted Cruz to be his official 2024 presidential election ru…
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Kimberly Guilfoyle and Donald Trump Jr., say that they do not do drugs...never, ever, never
Donald Trump's former 'side piece,' and his little boy, Donald Trump Jr., say that they're sick and tired, tired and sick of having to always comment that no, they do not do drugs. To be fair, Nancy Reagan found it hard to 'Just Say No', she was f…
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The Goombalini family says Trump is toast
The New York Sunshine Observer has just reported that the Salvatore Goombalini crime family has let it be known that the minute that the pussy grabbing Trump sets foot in prison he will be toast. Sunshine Observer reporter Carmine Calatino, who kn…
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Trump has just been named to sit on the board of directors of The Proud Boys
In a move that has surprised even most of the die-hard Trump supporters, GOP Picky Magazine reports that Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump has just been named to sit on the Proud Boys board of directors. The magazine noted that Trump had asked one of…
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Gov. DeSantis says that Trump is cheating already
The governor of the Plywood State,(Ron DeSantis), of Florida,has accused Donald Trump of cheating his orange ass off. The Trumptwat responded by saying that he has never cheated, even once in his life, and that includes with wanton women, on his i…
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Anti-Trump billboards spring up all over America
In the "No Fucking Kidding Department," anti-Trump billboards are popping up all over every state in the union. The QuinniPinni Polling Agency reports that Trump has become more hated than bastards such as Hitler, Hirohito, and Charles Manson.
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Sen. Ted "Dracula" Cruz has been charged by D.C. Metro Police with counterfeiting
Trump is extremely paranoid about being poisoned so he has now hired a taster to taste his Big Macs
Eric "Gofey" Trump said his dad has admitted that he will end up in hell
Trump the traitor has just become the poster punk for the "Damn Pathological Liars" fraternity
Donald Trump telephoned Barack Obama for help
GOP diehards say that Trump has turned into gorilla shit
Blame Canada for the Great White Orange
Alabama says that all of the gays have left the state
Trump's Hollywood Walk of Fame star gets vandalized for the 13th time in just the last 4 months
The Mafia tells Trump if he has any sense he'll leave the US as effen soon as possible
Donald Trump was planning world peace
An Al-Qaeda terrorist captured as he sits in Yankee Stadium eating a hot dog
A Central American cartel claims Trump asked them for a HUGE campaign donation
The Scuttlebutt Review is reporting that a very high profile Central American "candy" cartel has claimed that Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump reached out to them, asking for a sweet donation of $10 million to fund his 2024 presidential campaign. Apr…
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Kimberly Guilfoyle admits that her future-father-in-law did in fact lose the 2020 election
The long-legged senorita from Puerto Rico, aka Kimberly Guilfoyle, accidentally let it slip that she has accepted the fact that Don The Con actually lost the presidential election to President Joe Biden. Guilfoyle who used to work as a warehouse p…
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A new blockbuster book alleges that Trump actually paid 13 women hush money
A just released book is alleging that Donald Trump in reality paid a total of 13 different women hush money and not just two as had been previously believed. The book is titled, "Trump Just Could Not Keep His Little Donnie In His Pants," is writte…
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Lindsey’s head price is on sale
Senator Lindsey Graham has taken delivery of a suspicious package from the Russian Federation. Inside the package, a price label and instructions explicitly commanding the senator to affix the label onto his head, under the authority of none other th…
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Trump and his WTF hairdo!!!
The US Hairstylists of America Union has just named Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump's hairdo as being, "The Nation's Most Fucked Up Hairdo From Hell." Out of the 39,467 hair groomers who voted, a total of 39,439 voted for Trump, 13 voted for Bill Ga…
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Britney Spears' "just say no to drugs" program is a big success in 49 states
The US DEA has just stated that Britney Spears' "Just Say Hell No To Drugs" program is a tremendous hit in 49 of the states. A spokesman for the DEA, Lionel Boocastle, divulged that the only state where the drug program did not work was in Alabama…
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FBI agents have captured one of Al-Qaeda's sexiest female spies
White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre has just informed the American public that members of the Federal Bureau of Investigation have just captured one of the terrorist world's most notorious female spies. Miss Jean-Pierre stated that Mir…
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The KKK burns two cases of Bud Light beer
iNews reporter Kitty Segovia reports that the Alabama chapter of the KKK has just shown their disdain for the LGBTQ organization. Miss Segovia noted that an unidentified Grand Wizard stated that at a recent crossing burning event, the Crapola Cree…
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The Goombalini crime family is very close with the warden of Sing Sing Prison (where Trump is headed)
The notorious East Coast crime family, the Goombalini's, have just informed reporter Carmine Calatino, with The New York Sunshine Observer Newspaper that they recently spoke with the warden of Sing Sing Prison. The Mafia family spokesman Piccolo S…
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Nuclear secrets hidden next to a toilet?
Photos in the Donald Trump indictment reveal that Trump hid top-secret, classified information in one of his Mar-a-Lago bathrooms having a crystal chandelier. Top-secret boxes were also piled in the bathtub behind a dirty-looking shower curtain. U…
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The state of Wyoming bans the term "Ish," as in 8 ish
The Wyoming state senate has voted 97-3 to ban the hackneyed, worn-out term "Ish," as in "We will go to dinner at 8 ish." Many residents of the Buffalo Herd state, have expressed a desire that the term needs to be retired like the terms "Where's m…
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LGBTQAI+ leaders will consider switching letters around
Gay Leaders in Frisco, as they like to call it, have released a press announcement that was both applauded and disliked within the gay community. The Leaders said in a brief statement, that they will consider switching the letters around in the LG…
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A Kentucky rabbi is arrested after DEA agents find 38 gallons of moonshine in his truck
A rabbi in Kentucky has been arrested by agents with the DEA. A spokesperson for the DEA stated that Rabbi Myron Myronowitz III, 43, was caught in a back holler outside of the town of Woodchuck Hormones, Kentucky. Rabbi Myron's 2020 Toyota Reno Ro…
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Two members of the Proud Boys planned to steal Gov. Greg "Eggplant Face" Abbott's wheelchair
The FBI has uncovered a plot by two low-level members of the highly extremist group, The Proud Boys, who were going to steal Gov. "Shitface" Abbott's million dollar wheelchair and throw it in the Gulf of Mexico. Federal agents Clive P. Trailwood a…
Read full storyLatest Spoof US Headlines
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Joe finally admits talking "business" with Hunter
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First there was the Proud Boys - and now introducing the Proud Girls
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In the jungle, the mighty jungle
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The Alabama state senate has informed atheists to leave the state within 72 hours
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Grandpa Joe mean to Kamala: Tells her to “Get the f*** out of here!”
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It is so damn hot in Texas that a woman baked a loaf of bread in her mail box
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The NRA member numbers continue to drop like rain from the sky
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Charles Barkley says he drinks a case of Bud Light every day and adds F*ck da haters!
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Avocado Wedding Cakes have become quite the rage
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America's top female spy, Lady Chatterley, is a mistress of disguises
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Middle schoolers bind and whip principal following classroom visit by dominatrix
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Boo or Boo-urns?
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Clarry Thomas, trans lesbian and powdered wig, may have to write laws against herself
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Supreme Court bans Cialis in a 7-2 decision
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Stormy Daniels says that Trump is one really messed up son-of-a-bitch
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Three of Trump's cousins say that the evil bonehead needs to go to prison
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Fights at Popeyes without a single can of spinach in sight
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“I Hump for Jesus” … not if you wanna keep your job, Amy
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The FBI has a video of Trump stealing White House silverware
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The US Proctologists Guild names Ted Cruz "asshole of the year"
