Funny story - Russian Generals and Admirals Are Quitting Putin's Military At An Alarming Rate

Russian Generals and Admirals Are Quitting Putin's Military At An Alarming Rate

NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - A reporter with the Veni Vidi Vici News Agency, has just learned that Putin's military is losing at least 10 high-ranking generals and admirals on a weekly basis. According to 3V reporter, Lexus Jo Dix, Putin tried…

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Funny story - Only Women Supreme Court Judges Should Decide Abortion Rights

Only Women Supreme Court Judges Should Decide Abortion Rights

Why should abortion rights be a guy's thing to decide? What's next? Will guys on the Supreme Court decide whether women can use tampons? Does a black robe make a guy an authority about women's health issues? "No, that tampon looks too much like a…

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Funny story - The Reason Why The State of Nebraska Has Filed a Lawsuit Against Delta Airlines

The Reason Why The State of Nebraska Has Filed a Lawsuit Against Delta Airlines

LINCOLN, Nebraska - (Satire News) - Reports coming out of the Corn Cob state of Nebraska state that the citizens of the mid-American state are angry as-shit at Delta Airlines. According to Cinderella St. Lamb, with The Daily Drama News Agency, the…

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Funny story - Reggie Quickhands and the Rise of Supreme Court Three-Card Monte

Reggie Quickhands and the Rise of Supreme Court Three-Card Monte

Now that the illustrious and esteemed body known as the Supreme Court of ‘Merica is considering overturning Roe v. Wade, I had to get some details personally. So I flew in my private jet and sipped champagne and placed wagers on Indonesian cock-fight…

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Funny story - Elon Musk buys Facebook, YouTube, and the US Congress

Elon Musk buys Facebook, YouTube, and the US Congress

According to Elon Musk spokespersons, he has a nose for opportunities. Not satisfied with merely the purchase of Twitter, he is now moving the goal posts toward additional targets for his billionaire appetite. He would take the CEO role for var…

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Funny story - President Putin Is Suffering From Tonsilitis, Laryngitis, Diarrhea, Syphirea, and Fucking Guilt

President Putin Is Suffering From Tonsilitis, Laryngitis, Diarrhea, Syphirea, and Fucking Guilt

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - According to The Alpha Beta News Agency, Russian president Vladimir Nikita Putin, is now the most hateful, despicable, evil, world leader in the world. Reporter Mimosa Sabrosa, with ABNA, said that even 89% of Pu…

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Funny story - Ron DeSantis Working Out at the Don't Say Gay Gym

Ron DeSantis Working Out at the Don't Say Gay Gym

I tried a new gym the other day and saw Ron DeSantis on the bench press. I went up and asked if he was a member, and after staring at my crotch for a solid thirty seconds, he said, “Yeah, I pump. I pump hard. See my lats and delts and pecs? T…

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Funny story - There Is A Big Proliferation of Illegal Canadian Immigrants Gathering On My Yard!!!

There Is A Big Proliferation of Illegal Canadian Immigrants Gathering On My Yard!!!

THAT DOES IT!!! I'VE HAD IT!!! It is bad enough that we have thousands of immigrants at our southern border trying to get into the U.S. so that they can become ILLEGAL immigrants (as though we don't have too many already!!!) but now we have thousa…

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Funny story - The Real Reason Why Canada Has Banned Female Mounties

The Real Reason Why Canada Has Banned Female Mounties

OTTAWA, Canada - (Satire News) - Ipso Facto News (Canada) has just let it be known that Canada has decided to ban hiring any females into their Canadian Mounty Organization. Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, stated that the reason for the change in h…

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Funny story - Ted Cruz Denied Asylum In Mexico

Ted Cruz Denied Asylum In Mexico

Cancun, Mexico - Mexican government officials announced today that Republican Senator Ted Cruz was denied asylum in Mexico. The shamed Texas Senator attempted to defect, but was apprehended in Cancun and deported back to the U.S. Cruz, allegedly r…

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Funny story - Republican Texas State Senator Dawn Buckingham Runs For Non-Existent Office

Republican Texas State Senator Dawn Buckingham Runs For Non-Existent Office

Austin, Texas - Dawn Buckingham, Republican Texas State Senator (SD-24), announced on Monday that she will not seek senate re-election so she can run for “Texas Reptroller” - a position that does not exist. “Just as I have served the great, white,…

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Funny story - Marjorie is a Man’s Woman, According to a McRib Sandwich

Marjorie is a Man’s Woman, According to a McRib Sandwich

Marjorie Taylor Greene has stated once again that women come from Adam’s rib and, therefore, must always remain subservient to the men in their lives. To cheers and applause, she then stepped off the stage at her Georgia megachurch, and was embrac…

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Funny story - 91% of All American Women Who Fly Positively Love The Airport's New Automatic Frisking Machines

91% of All American Women Who Fly Positively Love The Airport's New Automatic Frisking Machines

NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - The union that represents airport security guards, (aka Friskers) are very angry at the new advancement. BuzzFuzz is reporting that close to 78% of the "Friskers" have been laid off due to the fact that every major…

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Funny story - Joe Manchin, AKA The Democrat Traitor, Assaulted By Three Second Graders At A McDonalds

Joe Manchin, AKA The Democrat Traitor, Assaulted By Three Second Graders At A McDonalds

SHEEP SHIT, West Virginia - (Satire News) - Two of the most hated politicians in the US are Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia, and Joe Manchin of West Virginia. Tapioca Swizzle, reporter with Vox Populi has stated that if meaness, stupidity, and h…

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Funny story - President Biden Says Nancy Pelosi Has Bigger Balls Than Putin and Trump Put Together

President Biden Says Nancy Pelosi Has Bigger Balls Than Putin and Trump Put Together

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - President Biden has always liked Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi for many reasons. Two of the reasons he noted were because she can speak 9 languages (8 fluently) and she knows the names of every horse that has…

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Funny story - Trump To Visit Russian Troops

Trump To Visit Russian Troops

To show his support for Russian pal Vladimir Putin, former White House resident and looser of the 2020 presidential election, Donald Trump announced plans to visit the Russian troops. The troops attempted to advance into Ukraine after being unceremon…

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Funny story - Vagina Sweat ... by Marjorie

Vagina Sweat ... by Marjorie

Marjorie Taylor Greene has former links to a fitness organization, and still loves to work out. Her body is toned and taut and tight, and she likes to keep it that way to prepare for her next conspiracy theory debate with the Evil Democrats. While…

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Funny story - Sen. Madison Cawthorn Has More Problems Than Even His Hero Donald Trump

Sen. Madison Cawthorn Has More Problems Than Even His Hero Donald Trump

VENUS FLY TRAP, North Carolina - (Satire News) - The much troubled senator from Upper Carolina, as North Carolinians call their state, now has even more problems. Cawthorn, which means chimp chump in Zimbabwean, is now being charged with insider t…

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Funny story - Supreme Court Coin Toss

Supreme Court Coin Toss

Knowing little to nothing about how the American Supreme Court makes and breaks laws, I asked my Zen master if he could offer enlightenment. Master Hoo plucked a shiny coin from inside his paisley rayon slacks and held it up to the light for me to…

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Funny story - Wars And Guns Kill More Than Abortions Stop Fertilized Eggs

Wars And Guns Kill More Than Abortions Stop Fertilized Eggs

On the one hand, there are pro-life people. No abortion for the fourteen-year-old rape victim. Abortions kill. On the other hand, the same pro-life people are pro-gun. A gun isn't like a Kitchen Aid or a leaf blower. Guns kill people. While Su…

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