Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.

Ex-CIA John Brennan Heads Up New Militant Group

Emulating his hero Robespierre, a pissed-off Brennan leads a new faction of Contra-Deplorables. The goal is to execute via guillotine at CIA HQ all those who disagree with him.

written by Trinculoman, 18 August 2018

Beatles "Good Morning" was originally "Good Day"

The Beatles song "Good Morning" was originally "Good Day" until they decided it didn't rhyme well enough. Next they tried Good Afternoon; Good Evening; Good Friday; Good Fer Nothing and Goo Night.

written by JinoLeFeeto, 14 August 2018

Fake Friend

Surprise, surprise! Apparently, Omarosa was Trump’s fake friend. This is definitely sad.

written by K.C. Bell, 14 August 2018

Porn Lawyer Seeks to Expand Show-Biz Career

Fresh off countless CNN appearances, creepy porn lawyer Michael Avenatti has sued Marvel Comics, demanding to be taken on as their latest super-hero -- Rabid-Ranting-Rodent-Esquire-Dude.

written by Trinculoman, 13 August 2018

Christopher Steele Expands His Farcical Spewing in a New Venue

Cut from a corrupt FBI, Steele had to keep kippers on his plate. So, he answered an ad in Variety, and now he's Rosie O'Donnell's new Rant Writer, thus confirming a universal law: all slime converges.

written by Trinculoman, 13 August 2018

Peter Strok Gets New Job

Recently-canned ex-FBI Strok lands on his feet with new gig. He's the security guard at the Bethesda, MD, Chuck-E-Cheese. No worries, he's already geared-up to harass all Trump-voting soccer moms!

written by Trinculoman, 13 August 2018

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Learns about 'Marxism'

Ocasio-Cortez went to the New York Public Library to get the definitive book, asked for it, and was ready to check it out. Fortunately, Ben Shapiro explained it was Karl Marx, not Groucho's memoirs

written by Trinculoman, 13 August 2018

Nancy Pelosi's Body is Much in Demand

Many top medical schools have made bids for the eventual corpse of Pelosi. All want to study effects of contemporary mummification techniques on quasi-living tissue. Madame Tussauds also wants in!

written by Trinculoman, 13 August 2018

Bernie Sanders Devastated at Lack of New Hairdo

Bernie desperately wanted a fake 'man-bun' for the Fall campaign, but the Socialist Farmers of Vermont couldn't slaughter enough albino goats to make one for him.

written by Trinculoman, 13 August 2018

Trump Slaps Huge Tariffs on all Foreign Cars Except for Russia's Lada

"It's just a coincidence, I didn't realize it was a Russian car when I decided not to tax it."

written by Al N., 12 August 2018

Hollywood City Council Votes to Turn Trump Star Into a Trash Receptacle

"People have been throwing trash there for years anyway, so now it's legal," spoke a council person.

written by Al N., 10 August 2018

3 Doors Down, the Only Band That Consented to Play at Trump's Inauguration, Refuse to Play for Next One

Trump has become like "Kryptonite" to them.

written by Al N., 10 August 2018

Melania Will Watch Whatever She Wants On TV

She likes dramas where an imprisoned woman escapes, and takes bitter revenge on her former tormentor.

written by Al N., 10 August 2018

Trump Will Start "Space Force" to Fight Space Aliens

It sounds like it's just another attempt to distract everyone from all the investigations, but he's serious!

written by Al N., 10 August 2018

Democrats Offer to Build THREE Walls for Trump

One around Trump Tower, one for Mar-A-Lago, and one around the White House, keeping Trump trapped.

written by Al N., 10 August 2018

The Truth About the Many Languages That Melania Trump Can Speak

It turns out that most of them are ones she made up herself.

written by Al N., 09 August 2018

Trump Insists He Hasn't Heard Anything From the Mueller Investigation

Of course, he's instructed everyone to block all calls from anyone with a last name starting with M.

written by Al N., 09 August 2018

Nation's Civility Found In Pornhub Comment Section

Though the users vehemently disagreed regarding the production quality, they found common ground in their love for borderline life-threatening hardcore bondage.

written by Michael Sienicki, 07 August 2018

The King Of England?

Trump thought and may still believe there is a King of England. Though Queen Elizabeth’s husband is known as Prince Philip, he is not a King. He also has retired and wasn't around for Trump's visit.

written by K.C. Bell, 06 August 2018

NRA In Financial Crisis

NRA is in a financial crisis. That is such a tragedy and loss. Please, a minute of silence... Well, that's over with. Now, let's kill Bambi with a crossbow.

written by K.C. Bell, 05 August 2018

New Intelligence Group Named Themselves "Q" Because They Wanted Something Their Followers Could Spell

Imagine their chagrin when they get messages addressed to Kwu and Ku and and Cue & other variations,

written by Al N., 05 August 2018

Rudy Giuliani Admits He Doesn't Actually Know What a Tweet Is

"It's probably something to do with that Internet stuff which I don't do because it's full of porn."

written by Al N., 05 August 2018

Giuliani Says That Cohen Tampered With the Tape but is Actually Not Sure About What "Tape" Is

Rudy thought it might be some kind of Scotch tape or duct tape.

written by Al N., 05 August 2018

Kim Jong-Un Admits the Real Reason He Told Trump North Korea Would Shut Down Their Nuclear Experiments

Since they are so busy on their new nerve gas experiments, they just don't have time any more!

written by Al N., 05 August 2018

Rudy Giuliani Says He Isn't Sure if Obstruction of Justice is a Crime or Not

He's also not sure if the President can commit perjury if he really thinks he is telling the truth.

written by Al N., 05 August 2018

Arizona Smokers Demand More Shade

"Because fuck this," they said, when reached for comment.

written by Michael Sienicki, 04 August 2018

Vegans Mysteriously Missing From Third World Countries

The search for the finicky eaters continues in the most impoverished and malnourished areas of the world.

written by Michael Sienicki, 02 August 2018

Corbyn crucifixtion date confusion

Jeremy Corbyn (now JC) is to be crucified, but waiting for Easter is too long for the impatient.

written by j.w., 02 August 2018

Millions Denied Groceries When Shopping Without I.D.

Because Trump said you need I.D. to buy food now, thousands of stores are now carding everyone.

written by Al N., 02 August 2018

Trump Calls Up National Guard in Answer to "Witch Hunt"

First step? Storming the courthouse where the Paul Manefort trial is being held!

written by Al N., 02 August 2018

Hello/Goodbye was Originally Hey/Take Off

You say Yes! I say No! You say why and I say I don't know. Oh no! You say Hey! I say Take Off. Hey! Hey! I don' know why you say "Take Off" I say Hey!---But the Beatles did just two takes that way.

written by JinoLeFeeto, 02 August 2018

I Want To Hold Your Hand Updated By Scientists

Oh Please message me you'll lemme be your hominid, And please say to me, you'll lemme hold your appendage! I wanna hold your ap-pennnnnn- dage, I wanna hold your appendage. And when I leave dead cells

written by JinoLeFeeto, 31 July 2018

Monster Corbyn Found in Israel

A monster called Corbyn has been spied on the Golan Heights singing 'Fiddler on the Roof'.

written by j.w., 27 July 2018

Maxwell Silver Hammer Indicted by Robert Mueller

Maxwell was accused recently of colluding with Russian intelligence to influence American elections, using his infamous silver hammer to take out Democrats in America. Putin has denied any connection.

written by JinoLeFeeto, 27 July 2018

Let It Be was really Paul's Mom scolding him

"Let it be! I told you I'm not foolin, Paul McCartney, you let it be, or you're gettin a spankin! That's what Mum told us!" said Paul McCartney. "Later, when I was older, it meant something different."

written by JinoLeFeeto, 26 July 2018

Trump is Mad When He Can't Cut A Deal With the Mueller Investigation

He wanted to be let off because he promised to throw Jerrod, Donnie, Jr. and Eric under the bus.

written by Al N., 26 July 2018

No Where Man Accused of Making Plans For Everybody

He doesn't have a point of view, but lately he's been bossing around the likes of North Korea and Iran. He doesn't seem to know where the hell he is. The editorial staff believe he should listen more.

written by JinoLeFeeto, 26 July 2018

Why Does Canada Take All the Bullcrap From Trump?

Because if Trump keeps up his energy policies, Canada will soon be the only habitable place left.

written by Al N., 25 July 2018

Trump to Bring Back Leaded Gas

What have we got against lead? What if the lead people want to sue us? We must be fair and do this!

written by Al N., 25 July 2018

Ivanka Trump's Clothing Line to Only Be Available in Russia, North Korea, and China

It's only fair since that's where the children are located that make the clothing line.

written by Al N., 25 July 2018

Russian Immigrant Surprised Americans Didn't Know About the Trump P-Tape

"It's been playing on Russian TV for a year!" said the recent immigrant.

written by Al N., 24 July 2018

North Korea Jealous of Iran After Trump Threatens Iran on Twitter

"You're threatening Iran? What is North Korea--chopped liver?" tweeted Kim Jong-un's Jewish aunt.

written by Al N., 24 July 2018

Trump to Declare War on Iran to Cover Up Mueller Probe

This is having the desired effect of making reporters scared to investigate any more bad Trump news.

written by Al N., 23 July 2018

McCartney Song Had Alternate Words In Demo

Paul McCartney's Song "Back in the USSR" use to say 'You would know how lucky your are Boy', then he tried 'You wouldn't know how lucky you are boy'. "He threw that out and went with "You don't".

written by JinoLeFeeto, 22 July 2018

Trump to Continue Dictator Tour

There are still a few dictators in the world that Trump hasn't groveled to.

written by Al N., 17 July 2018

Kavanaugh Nominated For Philippine Supreme Court?

Trump’s Supreme Court nominee Kavanaugh says Trump can’t be sued, indicted, or investigated. Even if caught stealing White House silver? Quick, somebody tell Kavanaugh he’s not in the Philippines.

written by K.C. Bell, 15 July 2018

The Queen Takes A Knee

The Queen of England takes a knee in front of Trump during the playing of the Stars Spangle Banner, joining the protest.

written by K.C. Bell, 13 July 2018

Melania's Dress For Supper At Blenheim Palace

Melania Trump's dress for supper at Blenheim Palace was hailed by Fox News as, "Making her look like a princess." Well, she sort of looked more like Blanche Dubois.

written by K.C. Bell, 13 July 2018

I Am The Walrus! Says Trump To NATO Leaders

"I am the Egg man they are the Egg men, I am the Walrus!" shouted Donald Trump amid NATO leaders at a news conference. "Koo koo ker choo!" added Angela Merkle, trying to laugh off the embarrassment.

written by JinoLeFeeto, 12 July 2018

Nominative determinism at the US embassy

US ambassador Woody Johnson welcomed President Trump to the UK, alongside his assistants Dick Schlong and Willy McPenis.

written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface, 12 July 2018
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