Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.
Snoop Dog admirers beware!
Police in rural Pennsylvania have arrested the entire population of one village after it was found they had deliberately dressed up as rapper Snoop Dog. Such appalling taste can't be tolerated any more.
written by whatinthe world, 11 July 2020
CHOP Free-Range Poopers (FRP) Sue Seattle after the Clean-up
Dirk Assdribble, spokesdork for CHOP FRP, filed suit in court today. "We've been denied our right to poop in public! It's a denial of a basic biological right! Seattle will pay through the sh*tter!"
Amalgamated Toe-Sniffers (ATS) Are Aggrieved!
Pukey Funguson is pissed! She heads the ATS and is railing against the outright exclusion of toe-sniffers from the cultural mainstream! "We have the constitutional right to expose and sniff at will!"
Amoeba-Loving Comb-Over Activists Demand Justice!
I.M.Barelystringly has had enough! He leads the down-trodden lot of comb-over guys who champion the free-living, Libertarian lives of amoebas. "One-cells are being trashed by zoological elitists!"
Donald Trump Paid A Friend To Take His SAT Exam?
No wonder Donald Trump taps his head with his little finger when he says, "I'm a very intelligent person."
written by K.C. Bell, 08 July 2020
Trump And The Nazis
Will Donald Trump include Nazis in his National Garden Of Heroes? Or maybe they'll have a Garden of their own to include Confederate generals.
written by K.C. Bell, 05 July 2020
Trump holds July 4th celebration on July 3rd
White House staffers tried very hard to convince Trump that July 4th is held on July 4th, but the President wouldn't hear of such nonsense, holding his big Mt. Rushmore celebration on the 3rd.
written by Paul Blake, 04 July 2020
Peaceful Protesters Versus Russian Bounty Hunters
President Trump was too busy fighting peaceful protesters in front of a church to go after Russia for putting a bounty on the lives of U.S. soldiers.
written by K.C. Bell, 29 June 2020
K-Pop Fans Snatch Other Trump Tickets
K-Pop fans who pranked Dopey Don's big Tulsa rally, also plan to snatch up all the tickets to his big war crimes trial in The Hague next year, but say, this time, they will attend.
written by Paul Blake, 25 June 2020
Breakfast Condiments to Go "Anti-Racist"
Pancake Syrups are avoiding products with Old-Time-Black-Woman-Imagery.... New packaging uses a large, penis-shaped, plastic container (because it's not racist). LGBTQ-Vagina bottles also announced.
written by Zabdgrov667, 18 June 2020
Astronauts demand real food
Astronauts aboard the ISS craft have demanded that NASA export a floating fast food restaurant so they can chow down on burgers and fries instead of liquid muck otherwise known as sustenance.
Trump and his fishy behaviour
Gangs of youths have stormed the White House in Washington demanding that President Trump release his pet goldfish from confinement in the Oval Office. Trump replied with the entire National Guard.
Dead, buried but alive
A Chicago man was declared medically dead, and buried, but then dug himself out of his grave in a phenomenal set of circumstances. His Houdini-like escape has angered many people who hated him.
Prince Charles secret desires out in the open
His Royal Highness Prince Charles has confessed that he has had enough -he wants to be a woman. He believes his life would be more fulfilling if he could only wear a twin set with pearls.
Evil lizard lurks in Trump's mind
US President Donald J Trump has announced he will resign from the Presidency effective noon tomorrow. He is convinced that a large alien lizard is watching his every move, and will soon strike out.
Mayor Pete Trying To Gain Some Kind of Attention in the Current Chaos
From the rented garage he hired after leaving office, the former South Bent Mayor has formed a revolutionary gang he's betting will be the next 'hot' draw in street occupation-Motor Pool Gay-Bangers.
written by Trinculoman, 16 June 2020
"New Update Is Vista for 2020" Says Microsoft
Windows 10 ver 2004 (codename "Soft-ANTIFA") will bring a new level of suffering to computer users. Vista (2013) was like Hell-on-Earth, but the "Soft-ANTIFA" update is Infinity-Apocalypse Super!!!
written by Zabdgrov667, 13 June 2020
Quite kid taking careful notes during school shooter drill
One classmate said: "He never spoke up in class, and when he did he usually got made fun of, but in this drill he was more involved than I've ever seen. I sure hope he learns to defend himself soon."
Disney's new "Lion King" movie to feature Simba and Nala looking for a third
Disney announced earlier this week, "We know this is a bold move, but we here at Disney are very excited to start teaching kids just how great it can be to spice things up with your partner."
Kids didn't expect dad to end pet's funeral in cremation.
As if seeing Sparky lying there lifelessly wasn't hard enough, here comes dad with the gasoline and a box of matches immediately following the eulogy.
Trump has better things to do
US President Donald J Trump has announced he will resign the Presidency effective noon tomorrow. He has just signed a movie deal with Paramount Pictures for a film on his life starring with Tom Cruise
Trump chickens out
US President Donald J Trump has announced he will resign from the Presidency effective noon tomorrow. He said that Saudi assassins were after him and he wasn't going to stay in office any time longer.
Trump to leave office
US President Donald Trump has announced he will resign the Presidency effective noon tomorrow. Reading from a prepared statement while wearing black face he said that someone had put acid in his tea.
Tokyo Olympics seek a new market
Organisers of the Tokyo Olympics have announced a low scale event will be held next year with just two sports on display: mud wrestling and nude marathons. Perverts are particularly encouraged to come
Tokyo Olympics now a poor imitation
The organisers of the Tokyo Olympics have announced a low scale event will be held next year with just two sports to be on display: judo and karate. Every other sport will just have to, ahem, eat crow
La Guardia's $4 Billion Makeover
The most hated airport in America says they spent the money on new pay phones, killing rats, runway potholes, kicking out the homeless— oh, and moving the airport out of New Jersey!
written by Paul Blake, 12 June 2020
Nascar Bans Confederate Flag
Dukes Of Hazard fans and racists were sorely disappointed in the lane change from Nascar. Still OK to wear white hoods and wave swastikas from the stands though!
written by Paul Blake, 12 June 2020
J. K. Rowling Story Delayed
Publishing of the eBook for "Harry Potter and the 3-Dick Manticore Vagina" has stalled, as J. K. Rowling declined to continue work on the story due to creative differences on character design.
written by Zabdgrov667, 12 June 2020
Man with a new dimension on life
A plumber from Ohio has laid claim to be the first person to experience the fourth dimension. "It's cool and, hey, I saw Elvis," said the excited man. Some believe him, many don't.
Sydney has a problem
The people of Sydney, Ontario in Canada are fed up to the back teeth with tourists confusing their town with Sydney, Australia. "People keep asking me where's the Opera House? Crazy!!" cried one local.
Starr is a star
Ex-Beatle, Ringo Starr, has been appointed an ambassador for Islamic State, as well as other known terrorist groups. Said Starr: "These guys are crazy about me. I love it!" The FBI will question him.
Ringo charged with vagrancy
Ex-Beatle drummer, Ringo Starr, has been charged with one count of vagrancy following his arrest while begging for music ideas on a Los Angeles freeway. Starr offered no plea, and will spend time in the slammer.
Joe and his socialist dream
Unofficially endorsed US Presidency candidate, Joe Biden, wants to buy up all the country's fruit production, worth billions every year. Next stop, car manufacture. Joe, what the hell is going on?
written by whatinthe world, 22 May 2020
Now listen here everybody.
British Chancellor of the Exchequer, Nigel Nobody, has announced he has nothing important to announce for the time being, and will let everybody know when that changes, if ever it does.
written by whatinthe world, 22 May 2020
This Year’s Presidential Election Will Be Determined By How Many Likes Each Candidate Receives On Their Tweets
This gives Trump a huge advantage over Biden, seeing how little Biden tweets.
written by mikewadestr, 21 May 2020
North Korea's Kim on a nautical trip
North Korean president, Kim Jong-un, has thanked the US Navy for saving him, after he tried to swim to Japan in order to confuse western intelligence agencies. He now wants to be an Olympic swimmer.
China's final solution
The governing body of the People's Republic of China has decided that, if they can't kill most of humanity with the virus, then they will eliminate the rest with a nuclear bomb. Simple!
Kim comes out of seclusion
North Korean President, Kim Jong-un, has reappeared after a mysterious absence, to say he had been kidnapped by a coven of squirrels intent on regime change in Pyong Yang.
The Queen is stroppy
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth has made a speech directed at all the people living rough in the UK. In it, she tells them to get off their backsides and work for a living. Her Maj can't stand incivility.
Fourth of July Lemmings Day
The Fourth of July will not be celebrated this year. It will pass as just another day where three thousand people die. So let's all be lemmings and do what good lemmings do.
Cure for Covid 19 announced
A Bakersfield man claims he has found a cure for Covid-19. "It's called death, and it works," he said, grinning from ear to ear. He refused to add any further explanation lest he disappoint his fans.
Trump surprises again
President Donald J Trump has appointed the missing pilot of Malay flight MH370 to head up a medical team to find a vaccine for the Covid-19 virus. Why? "I like him. He's my kind of guy," said Trump.
Wife not a life says desperate female
The wife of a leading physician has said that being a wife is bad for your health. "Try being an elephant or a donkey. It's much healthier," she declared, as a team of white-coated psychiatrists neared.
Moth a real headache for Trump
United States of America President, Donald J. Trump, has been taken into custody for running over a rare Mexican moth which has been voted moth of the month here in Mexico.
Having a whale of a time
A large humpback whale has just washed up on the beach near Malibu CA.
Officials deny that it was just the President of the United States, Donald J.Trump
The big Apple to improve its smell.
The mayor of New York City wants to form an army of dedicated flatulants to fill the air with foul smell to scare off the virus. The IRS want their ideas back.
Russia has a problem.
The chief health inspector of Russia has declared that democracy is sick for as long as President Putin remains in office.
So Putin has sent him to Siberia for a permanent holiday.
Where Is Prince Harry?
Is Prince Harry turning into Norman Maine of A Star Is Born?
written by K.C. Bell, 05 May 2020
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis Botches COVID-19 Response
By banning Corona beer in order to flatten pandemic curve.
written by C/L, 05 May 2020
I Inherited Lord Boothby's Recipe Books, Claims Anatolian Goat-Skinner
The Two David Livingstones have hit a snag with the new bungalow in Boxgrove. "The life-size waxwork of Daniel Lambert won't fit through the front door", said David Livingstone, yesterday.
written by Erskin Quint, 03 May 2020