Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.

Trump is Attempting to Get Veterans and Jewish Leaders to Contribute to the Wall

Trump told the veterans they can put names on the Wall like the Vietnam Wall. Jewish? Wailing Wall!!

written by Al N., 18 February 2019

Scientists Warn Against Another North Korea-United States Summit Due to Trump's Weight Gain

Scientists are afraid that when Trump and Kim Jong-Un meet again, it could alter the Earth's orbit.

written by Al N., 17 February 2019

Eric Trump Accidently Blurts Out the Real Reason for Trump Declaring a National Emergency

"Daddy was mad at all the attention the Virginia politicians were getting so he did what he had to!"

written by Al N., 17 February 2019

The Physics of Beto O'Rourke Explained

Beto O'Rourke demonstrates an instance of random kinesis in tandem with incoherent sound emissions and methane exudations in a political blackhole.

Sir Aizak Neuron

written by Trinculoman, 15 February 2019

Trump Doesn't Know How to Issue a State of Emergency and Accidently Declares Martial Law

When he found out his mistake, he immediately tried to correct it by outlawing the Democratic Party.

written by Al N., 15 February 2019

Putin to Meet With Amazon's Jeff Bezos

Trump said that he didn't care Putin was meeting with his foe, and then put his fist thru a window.

written by Al N., 15 February 2019

New Gluten-Free Bible Popular with Both Christian and Jewish Dieters

Christians like that the bread in Feeding the Multitudes was Gluten-Free; Jewish the G-F Unleavened.

written by Al N., 14 February 2019

Putin Offers Trump Sanctuary If He's Deposed

"I'm saving a nice little apartment for him and the kids in this swell spot in Siberia!" said Putin.

written by Al N., 13 February 2019

Jared Kushner and Trump Sons Are Working on a New Gig "Just in Case"

"Everyone says that we should go on the road as a Three Stooges tribute act, so maybe," said Eric.

written by Al N., 13 February 2019

What Crawls Out?

Jeff Bezos says, “I prefer to stand up, roll this log over, and see what crawls out.”

Cherchez la femme.

written by K.C. Bell, 09 February 2019

Klopp claims he is sane after all!

Liverpool manager, Klopp, has attempted to convince UK tabloids he is really sane, and, for the first time in tabloid history, they told the truth; he is a total Prussian Nutter!

written by Jaggedone, 07 February 2019

May performs splits in front of Juncker!

PM May revealed everything in her 'Backstop' to the EU. In Brussels she performed a huge 'splits' in front of EU top brass. However, her 'backstop' remained closed so they told her to go to 'Hell!'

written by Jaggedone, 07 February 2019

Combustial farting banned in BA's Business lounge!

BA has banned any form of combustial farting in their business lounge! However, silent farting is still allowed, as long as it's done in privacy, and does not disturb other passengers!

written by Jaggedone, 07 February 2019

'Squeaky Benders' latest TV series to go viral!

As a sequel to Peaky Blinders, Jaggedone's latest literary bombshell, 'Squeaky Benders' goes viral on TV. It's a 6-series show with frontman, a transgender, squeaking his rubber ducks in the bath!

written by Jaggedone, 07 February 2019

The Physics of Nancy Pelosi Explained

A truly unusual case:a 19th century automaton(in dire need of replacement) has been fabricated with periodic face shedding and mechanically wired with a squawk of a turkey vulture.

Sir Aizak Neuron

written by Trinculoman, 06 February 2019

The Physics of Bernie Sanders Explained

It's a rare, but not isolated, phenomenon where farts produced by inefficient digestion of psychedelic Vermont mushrooms issue from the oral cavity, and are misinterpreted as speech..

Sir Aizak Neuron

written by Trinculoman, 05 February 2019

Royal family to be ejaculated to c*untryside says No 10

Hard luck, eh?

written by queen mudder, 04 February 2019

Old Street Sweepers Never Die...

They just reach the end of the road.

written by Adam Click, 02 February 2019

The Physics of Chris Christie Explained

New Jersey Ex-Governor Christie demonstrates the physical phenomenon of pizza gone terribly wrong.

Sir Aizak Neuron

written by Trinculoman, 02 February 2019

The Physics of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) Explained

AOC demonstrates a measure of intelligence quotient that is in inverse ratio to accelerating volubility, impelled by a delusion of superior morality and inherent virtue.

Sir Aizak Neuron

written by Trinculoman, 02 February 2019

300,000 Jobs Added in January

How many of those jobs were taken by shutout federal workers?

written by Ralph E. Shaffer, 02 February 2019

God Warns Sarah Sanders To Never Talk About Him Again

God will be giving an interview to CNN to explain free will and how He is not to blame for Trump.

written by Al N., 31 January 2019

President's "Undocumented" Golf Course Workers Fired

...Ten years after the President knew about them. Hope they weren't expecting a pension!

written by Al N., 28 January 2019

Nancy Tells Donald That a Wall Will Be Built. Donald is So Happy He Doesn't, For Once, Ask a Lot of Questions

Imagine his surprise when the next day he saw government troops building a wall around Mar-A-Lago.

written by Al N., 26 January 2019

Trump is Overheard Saying that He Needs to Get the Government Going for Three Weeks

He can't get anyone to help him write his State of the Union speech because of the shutdown.

written by Al N., 26 January 2019

Opposition leader Juan Guaidó Declares Himself President, but...

Venezuelan Opposition leader Juan Guaidó declared himself interim president, until he realized his mistake.
"President of Venezuela?! I thought it was for Ecuador! Never mind then!"

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 25 January 2019

Trump Demands Changes to Robert Frost's Poem Mending Wall

Trump wants the line "Good fences make good neighbors" changed to "Good WALLs make good neighbors."

written by Al N., 25 January 2019

The Irrelevancy of John Kerry

Perennial Enemy-Collaborator (VietNam, Iran, China, etc), John Kerry, has far exceeded his sell-by date, but the networks still don't get it. When he croaks on TV, citizens could give a (bleep)!

written by Trinculoman, 23 January 2019

Ocasio-Cortez's One Billionaire Exception

The bug-eyed Sage-ess of Queens joyfully clarifies her prohibition of all billionaires. Ocasio-Cortez exempts George Soros, noting he is her dear mentor and "papi de azucar!"

written by Trinculoman, 22 January 2019

DC Comics Demands that Washington, D.C. Change Their Name

"They may have been first, but we've had the initials TRADEMARKED!" said a DC rep.

written by Al N., 20 January 2019

Trump Says He Was Misunderstood About the Wall

He now says he really wanted to build a "Wall Street" on the border to inspire more business.

written by Al N., 18 January 2019

The Wall Street Journal Will Change its Name

It's now called the "Barrier Street Journal."

written by Al N., 18 January 2019

Sensational divorce news! Jaggedone divorces Brexit!

One can only take so much! After consulting lawyers and pleading for sanity, Jaggedone, decided to divorce May, Johnson, Farage, Mogg and, last not least, Brexit! Holland has welcomed a new Nutter!

written by Jaggedone, 18 January 2019

Ole Solskaer admits Norwegian Wood is his fave Beatles song, OOPS!

Interim Man U manager, Ole, loves the Beatles from Liverpool and his fave song is obvious! However, Man U fans are in outrage and want him sacked because anything coming from Liverpool is shit!!

written by Jaggedone, 16 January 2019

Boris Johnson admits his ancestors were Prussian Neanderthals!

BOJO, has discovered through an Italian grapevine that his ancestors were Jurassic Neanderthals from Dusseldorf, Germany. There are reports from Westminster that a suicide has taken place!

written by Jaggedone, 16 January 2019

'Comfortably Dumb' is Trump's new theme song!

Pink Floyd have written a new 'Wall' song in honor of Trump's walls; Wall Street, Mexican Wall, White House Walls, etc. Roger Walters purposely renamed it, 'Comfortably Dumb' instead of 'Numb!'

written by Jaggedone, 16 January 2019

Trump's Twitter Admission: I am an idiot...

but I'm not Putin's useful idiot.

written by Paxton Quigley, 15 January 2019

Norwegian Wood cures Portuguese virus!

In a mega EU co-operation (before Brexshit), Norway sent their Messiah to Manchester to cure a Portuguese virus that spread its poison. Luckily, Norwegian Wood destroyed the Portugeuse worm!

written by Jaggedone, 15 January 2019

'It's Jaggedone's Good News Week!'

Loved by many, hated by others, Jaggedone has this piece of good news for everybody: "Brexshit has now hit the fan and those who perpetrated the whole fiasco have shit on their pompous faces!"

written by Jaggedone, 15 January 2019

Joe Biden Plans a Visit to a Fellow Joe Before Taking Off to OZ

A key research step prior to the OZ trip will be Biden visiting Joe Scarboro to find out how he lost his brain as a result of appearing on MSNBC. Wicked Witch Mika may have something to do with it.

written by Trinculoman, 12 January 2019

Beto O'Rourke Sets Up Next Extremely Personal Video Campaign Teaser

After airing his dental visit, Beto is making a next major campaign move. He has contracted with Proctology Now to broadcast live his upcoming colonoscopy. Voters will see what Beto is really about.

written by Trinculoman, 12 January 2019

Joe Biden Takes a Major Step in His Planned 2020 Presidential Run

Biden is preparing a significant trip in service of his putative 2020 candidacy. Joe is stuffing his pack for the trek to the Emerald City to plead with the Wizard of Oz to finally give him a brain.

written by Trinculoman, 12 January 2019

Elizabeth Warren Still Trying To Transform Her Roots

Latest Warren gambit is a Twitter video showing her under hood of her Mercedes. Face besmirched, she turns to the camera, citing her descent from 'grease monkeys'--Oops, didn't she mean auto mechanics.

written by Trinculoman, 12 January 2019

Pelosi Does Believe in Some Kind of 'Walls'

House Speaker Pelosi denies a Southern border wall. Yet, she avidly "walls" herself off from the reality of 'Angel Families' who have lost loved ones to the acts of illegal immigrant criminals.

written by Trinculoman, 12 January 2019

Trump Falsely Claims He Never Said Mexico Will Pay For The Border Wall

Also falsely claims that Mike Pence, and not he, farted in the Oval Office. Quoted as saying, "Hey, Mikey, you smelt it, you dealt it!"

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 11 January 2019

Woman Demands Bubble Bath

A woman from Blackburn has been heard ranting and raving saying that she should be given a bubble bath. She says this, rests and then says it again. They won’t give her one, you know.

written by Imnotcrazy, 10 January 2019

Republicans Issue Blinders to all Their Followers

In regards to Trump talking, earplugs to follow.

written by Al N., 06 January 2019

Swedish Warships to Have Barcodes... that they can Scan-da-navy-in.

written by Paxton Quigley, 03 January 2019

President Has Fortified the White House While Shutting Down the Government

Trump swears that no subpoenas for him or family will penetrate through his new security devices.

written by Al N., 03 January 2019

Vlad Putin should be proud . . .

. . . for personally resurrecting the Cold War spy novel. (And we thought the genre was dead!)

written by The Ruling Authority, 27 December 2018
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