Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.

Trump Sees the Joker Movie and Wants to Appoint Him to His Cabinet

He mentions that they can share makeup tips.

written by Al N., 17 September 2019

Jerry Falwell Sr. Spinning in His Grave is New Energy Source

In other news, Falwell, Jr. has been kicked out of the Moral Majority.

written by Al N., 17 September 2019

Only One Democrat Would Lose to Trump if the Election Were Held Today!

And Hillary would come a lot closer this time!

written by Al N., 14 September 2019

Trump Bans Harry Maguire From All U.S. Media

"Enough is enough! This guy's getting more coverage than I am! How disrespectful!" Trump tweeted.

written by Al N., 14 September 2019

DUP to Join 18h Century

Arlene Foster to be publicly burnt as a heretic witch, say leaders. Willing to move forward at least 100 years promise "to be tested by denouncing witchcraft and folk remedies".

written by Doubting Thomas, 14 September 2019

Trump's Alexa Starts World War III

Trump was in the bathroom and yelled out "Launch Missile!!"

written by Al N., 13 September 2019

Trump Invites Taliban and Al Qaeda to White House for Special Ceremony

It was the release of the "Trump Highlights Reel," which Trump hopes will bring peace to the world.

written by Al N., 12 September 2019

Trump Has Renamed the White House the "Donald Trump Towers White House"

This will give the U.S. more global recognition than just plain old dumb 'White House'" said Trump.

written by Al N., 12 September 2019

Sharpie Stock Price Soar after Trump Uses One to Move a Hurricane

With one simple stoke of a sharpie President Trump moved the trajectory of hurricane Dorian to the delight of Alabama residents, and the price of Sharpie stock to the pleasure of its shareholders!

written by Amiko Aventurista, 08 September 2019

Presidential Candidate Dies

Due to the death of a prominent presidential candidate, there is some speculation that the recently deceased man may have to drop out of the race.

written by Gene Morrison, 07 September 2019

Trump Wants to Build a Wall Around Alabama

"I've used my Sharpie to indicate where the wall should go to protect Alabama from hurricanes."

written by Al N., 07 September 2019

Trump and VP Pence Not Getting Along Since Pence Stayed at Trump Hotel in Ireland

Pence complain!ed about no hot water, bad food, and rude staff, and gave it only one star on Yelp!

written by Al N., 06 September 2019

Hasbro Buys Death Row Records

New artists signed to the label include G.I.Joe, Mr. Potato Head, Power Rangers and My Little Pony.

written by Al N., 05 September 2019

Debra Messing Mysteriously Disappears

In other news, Trump and Debra Messing had a Twitter storm fight.

written by Al N., 05 September 2019

Hair Stylists unite Name New Styles of the Century

Top 5 Style Makers - 2019:
1. Boris Johnson - "Explodo Head".
2. Donald Trump - "Cliff Hanger."
3. Tilda Swinton - "Pippin loves us all."
4. TBA
5. Marilyn Manson "Black is - paint this, bitch."

written by Madame George, 04 September 2019

New Slug Family Classified - not Recognized

Richard Dawkins, famous Atheist, has refused to recognize a new slug family classification identified by University of Warwick biology researchers, stating their winged shapes make them unfeasible.

written by Madame George, 04 September 2019

Stranded Alien Signalled The Pope

The Pope called an immediate balcony audience to wave in an alien who had signalled for emergency landing directions. "JP II says Luv U" beamed the aliens using light bursts in Morse Code. "QE tutu".

written by Madame George, 04 September 2019

Trump Tweets for the 28th Time That He's Never Heard of a "Category 5" Storm

He was also surprised to find out they have "weather reports", and that he didn't need to tweet the info.

written by Al N., 04 September 2019

Bill Cosby Still Waiting for Presidential Pardon

"I can't believe he would leave me in prison just for grabbing some pussy!" said Cosby.

written by Al N., 01 September 2019

Trump Overwhelms House of Representatives With His Impeachable Offenses

Every time the House meets to go over the offenses, by the time they quit, he's committed 100 more!

written by Al N., 01 September 2019

Trump Prohibits Danish Coffee Cake, Great Danes on Hold

In an escalation with Denmark over the sale of Greenland, President Trump has banned Danish coffee cake from the White House cafeteria. Until further notice, Great Dane dogs will be permitted.

written by Amiko Aventurista, 01 September 2019

Chrisley Family Will Hold Off on "How to Save on Your Taxes" Book

It goes without saying that the book on bank fraud is also on hold.

written by Al N., 28 August 2019

Excellent stay in a great little town.

Donald Trump has filled in a trip-advisor survey for his trip to the G7 Summit, saying it was a nice little town, and the people he spoke to were all wonderful.

written by Ben Macnair, 27 August 2019

Trump Appoints O.J. Simpson to Be His New Secretary of Transportation

"He's served his time and knows a lot about transportation. Remember the white Ford Bronco chase?"

written by Al N., 27 August 2019

Queen Wants Trump to GET OFF HER LAWN and Stay Off!

"The front lawn of Buckingham Palace is just the beginning of Trump's fuck-ups!" said the Queen.

written by Al N., 26 August 2019

Trump Fires First Daughter Ivanka, Has Now Fired Everyone

"It's much better if I run everything by myself, without all those others holding me back," he said.

written by Al N., 26 August 2019

Trump Family Orders Record Number of Computers and Wide-Screen TVs With 2-Day Shipping

Coincidentally, Trump announced that Chinese tariffs will start in two and a half days.

written by Al N., 26 August 2019

Trump Offers to Trade Puerto Rico for Greenland

"I was just joking when I called them a shithole island. This would be a GREAT deal for Denmark!"

written by Al N., 24 August 2019

Denmark Makes Counter-Bid To Buy Oklahoma

The Scandanavians have offered him $3.50 plus all the pussy he can grab.

written by Johnny Shlep, 23 August 2019

Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers Mysteriously Disappear

After denying any complicity in their disappearance, Trump said, "Maybe they just had bad ratings!"

written by Al N., 22 August 2019

Trump Wants to Buy Hawaii For the U.S.

He is surprised to find that the U.S. already owns Hawaii. Trump is now looking to buy Australia.

written by Al N., 22 August 2019

Kamala Harris Announces New Cabinet Post Pre-election

Candidate Harris, planning ahead, says she'll create a new Cabinet post for her former sleazy Squeeze. She'll name Willie Brown as Chief Pimp and Procurer for a Harris Administration.

written by Trinculoman, 16 August 2019

Melania Trump to Be Deported in New Immigration Policy

"I wish I could help her, but I can't play favorites," spoke the president.

written by Al N., 15 August 2019

Bridge Burner Now Proud Owner Of Private Island

"Sure, there's nobody around," the viaduct arsonist told reporters, "but just think of what it'll look like once the smoke clears!"

written by Michael Sienicki, 14 August 2019

Beto O'Rourke Plans Major Announcement

Will apologize for his past 46 years.

written by Jeff Brone, 14 August 2019

Wal-Mart Meat Too Bloody For Shoppers

Customers of the popular grocery store claim the company's meat "looks like it's been through some sort of massacre."

written by Michael Sienicki, 13 August 2019

Booker Tries Out For Moonlighting Gig in Europe But Is Axed

Sen. Booker, wanting campaign funds, auditioned for a Don Limpio (Mr. Clean) commercial in Spain, but didn't make the cut. On set he kept screaming "Yo soy Spartacus!" and didn't pass the IQ minimum.

written by Trinculoman, 12 August 2019

Bill hits a home run

Bill Clinton's name has been cleared from the Epstein scandal after he said: "I did not have sexual relations with those girls.."

written by Sandy Limestone, 12 August 2019

Joe Biden reads about Epstein suicide, sends condolences to the cast of "Welcome Back, Kotter."

Adds "The black guy was just as smart as those rich kids!"

written by Jeff Brone, 11 August 2019

Jeffrey Epstein Found Dead in Cell

The financier, awaiting trial on sex trafficking charges had 12 shanks stuck in his back and a garotte fastened around his neck. "Clearly a case of suicide," Governor tells newsmen.

written by Johnny Shlep, 10 August 2019

Bedtime Conundrum

Spent the whole day prepping for my colonoscopy.

Now I can’t decide whether to brush my ass or my teeth.

written by Matt Birkenhauer, 08 August 2019

Showbiz Latest

"Pin sharp sound system ruined my daughter's Spice Girl trip," says London mother.

written by Johnny Shlep, 26 July 2019

White House To Begin Using Craigslist for Employee Search

"We need to keep up with all the firings and people quitting. First job to fill is Press Secretary."

written by Al N., 26 July 2019

Man Sued for Blinding Drivers

A man has found himself the defendant in a class-action suit by drivers who claim his waxed bald head caused them to wreck their vehicles while passing him in oncoming traffic due to its bright sheen.

written by C. Lance the Freelance, 20 July 2019

Doctor Repurposes Foreskin for Sideline Business

A Florida obstetrician has begun saving foreskin from daily circumcisions at his office to make expandable travelbags. These bags grow from toiletry size to extra large suitcases by simply stroking them.

written by C. Lance the Freelance, 20 July 2019

Bordertown Man Abducted by Aliens

Texas man reported to authorities he was abducted by aliens while repairing a fence. The man claimed aliens forced him into a Chevy MonteCarlo lowrider and made him buy them Corona beer and street tacos.

written by C. Lance the Freelance, 20 July 2019

Woman Wastes a Fortune on Anal Bleaching

A lady who recently bleached her anus had to have it redone after falling asleep while nude sunbathing on her stomach. Seems anuses tan quickly when exposed to sunlight.

written by C. Lance the Freelance, 20 July 2019

Trump Son Eric Given His Own Brand New Cell Phone

Eric is still on probation, so is only allowed to retweet his father's tweets, and text when late.

written by Al N., 19 July 2019

Trump Fires Daughter For Disloyalty

"Cartier, I mean Tiffany, knows she hasn't been pulling her weight and so she's fired" said Trump.

written by Al N., 19 July 2019

"Bubba" Clinton to Graciously Assist Those Women with Post-Epstein Traumatic Stress Disorder

Ex-Pres opened the Little Rock Clinton Pres-Library to help 'counsel' those women victimized by Epstein. "Bubba" will 'share their pain' in frequent close encounter sessions on the Penthouse waterbed.

written by Trinculoman, 13 July 2019
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