Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.

"Bubba" Clinton to Graciously Assist Those Women with Post-Epstein Traumatic Stress Disorder

Ex-Pres opened the Little Rock Clinton Pres-Library to help 'counsel' those women victimized by Epstein. "Bubba" will 'share their pain' in frequent close encounter sessions on the Penthouse waterbed.

written by Trinculoman, 13 July 2019

Jeffrey Epstein Offers to Give Homes to All Underage Girls in Trump's Immigration Concentration Camps

Labor Sec Alex Acosta says that it is good community service that will help rehabilitate Epstein.

written by Al N., 10 July 2019

U.S. Women's Soccer Team To Run Against Trump in 2020

"We hate Trump and Trump hates us. We plan to run the country as a team once we win," said the team.

written by Al N., 10 July 2019

Stranger Things Season 3 Is All About Trump's White House

"We tried to do something different, but we found nothing strange compared to Trump's strangeness."

written by Al N., 10 July 2019

Kanye West Samples Stairway to Heaven

He actually samples the whole song and doesn't add anything to it.

written by Al N., 10 July 2019

Devil Announces New Circles Added to Hell

"Once all these Fox News viewers and Trump's family and friends die, we'll need the extra space."

written by Al N., 10 July 2019

Circus Murderer Strikes Again

"He went straight for the juggler," says eyewitness.

written by Johnny Shlep, 09 July 2019

GE to produce more brown and black transformers

In the shocking wake of the public clamor against white power, GE has decided to produce brown and black electrical transformers.

written by Purple Girl, 07 July 2019

Truckload of Viagra Stolen

A truckload of Viagra was stolen. The public is advised to look for hardened criminals. Police report that the thieves will likely face a stiff sentence in a newly-erected maximum-security prison.

written by Purple Girl, 07 July 2019

Nike to liquidate and cease all operations

Nike has announced it will cease all operations (including Converse & Hurley), effectively closing forever, after de facto CEO Colin Rand Kaepernick points out 19th century plantation owners wore shoes.

written by SirBeavis, 06 July 2019

London Mayor backs Trump's assertion that the city has no-go areas

"They're called estate agents" he tells newsmen

written by Johnny Shlep, 02 July 2019

Canadian Prime Minister Holds Open Door at G20 Summit Meeting For Chinese President

Media lauds interaction as 'substantial and informative interaction leading to world peace', as President Xi Jinping pats Trudeau on head.

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 28 June 2019

Man Flies Over Saskatchewan Because Land Is Too Flat And Boring

Discovers that sky and clouds over Saskatchewan are just as flat and boring.

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 27 June 2019

Porn Star Stormy Daniels Denied Entry Into Canada At Airport

Millions of Canadians cross over border, begging her to come back, creating new migrant nightmare for Trump; Horny Canadian men leaving their families behind.

written by Stefano M. Stefano, 26 June 2019

Party Leaders to Winnow Democratic Field

Candidates will run at Santa Anita racetrack.

written by The Ruling Authority, 25 June 2019

PETA Protester Eaten by Pigs

How was she to know, before cutting the wires, that the pigs within the enclosure had been sick all week, and were just starting to regain their appetites?

written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw, 24 June 2019

"Lived Experience"

I heard still another person (on NPR) talk about his “lived experience.”

What an odd qualifier. What’s the opposite of “lived experience”? Decomposition?

written by Matt Birkenhauer, 14 June 2019

Trump Trashes Tariffs Imposes Taco Tax Instead

Trump announced no new tariffs on Mexico after a trade deal was reached. However, he declared new taxes on Taco Bell and Dell Taco because "they sound Mexican to me". Both restaurants are shocked!

written by Amiko Aventurista, 10 June 2019

Trump Denies Calling Meghan Markle "Nasty"

"I said she was a pasty, which is a delicious treat made in the UP of Michigan. Not an insult! Sad."

written by Al N., 03 June 2019

The Last Word

What’s wrong?

Death got your tongue?

written by Matt Birkenhauer, 01 June 2019

Trump Wants the U.S. to Join the European Union

Trump also gave permission to the EU to use his image on currency, coins, and stamps.

written by Al N., 01 June 2019

Progress in India-Pakistan Peace Talks

"We haven't gotten them to give up their nuclear-tipped missiles, but they have agreed to target each other's telemarketing offices, and that's great news for the rest of the world!"

written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw, 01 June 2019

Kim Jong Un Offers to Let Trump Ride on the Rocket on North Korea's Next Rocket Test

Donald Trump declined, but Eric and Don Jr. said, "Hell, yeah!"

written by Al N., 31 May 2019

Mueller Admits He Hasn't Read the Mueller Report

"I'm on page 284. When I'm done reading it, I'll say whether Trump is guilty or not," Mueller said.

written by Al N., 31 May 2019

US Citizens Opt for Late Term Abortion on Elected Officials

In wake of mass attacks on women's rights and scientific advancement, US citizens have opted for a Late Term Abortion of their elected officials before the next elections.

written by Xavier Fairbanks, 17 May 2019

Trump Takes Out Large Mortgage on White House

The Senate and Supreme Court both see nothing wrong with the latest Trump development.

written by Al N., 17 May 2019

Mueller Reappears After Being Missing for 48 Hours

Agents insist that Mueller's disappearance had nothing to do with the bill for Forensic Hypnosis.

written by Al N., 17 May 2019

Trump's Economy Created 200,000 Jobs in April

100,000 are telemarketers, and the other 100,000 prepare the robocalls.

written by Ralph E. Shaffer, 17 May 2019

Alabama’s Abortion Law Footnote

Alabama’s abortion law footnote few men have noticed: Any male who is responsible for pregnancy either by rape or incest or unwanted artificial insemination will be subject to immediate castration.

written by K.C. Bell, 16 May 2019

Trump, on the Fight between Heaven and Hell

When asked by his pastor where he stands on the struggle between Heaven and Hell, Donald Trump replied:

"There are very fine people on both sides."

written by Ralph E. Shaffer, 13 May 2019

American Company to Produce Depleted Uranium Utensils

An American silverware company has resorted to using depleted uranium in the manufacture of all of its dinner utensil lines produced in China. to survive the ongoing Trump tariff war.

written by C/L, 12 May 2019

Freddie Starr eaten by hamster

Aged rocker found dead in his Spanish villa between two slices of bread, being nibbled by a Russian dwarf hamster.

written by Mark, 10 May 2019

Annual Clam Festival Called off over Post Nasal Drip Concerns

Annual clam festival called off over organizer's concerns that a high number of attendees with post nasal drip, could ruin the affair in the same disgusting way that it was the year before.

written by C/L, 10 May 2019

Woman Allowed to Bring Emotional Support Marijuana Plant on Overseas Flight

A woman with the world's first carry-on emotional support marijuana plant is allowed to board an overseas flight bound for Tehran.

written by C/L, 10 May 2019

Donald Trump to Merge the Federal Reserve with Deutsche Bank

In a desperate effort to keep his Russian-backed tax returns from being revealed, Donald Trump has ordered Steve Mnuchin to merge the Federal Reserve with Deutsche Bank.

written by C/L, 10 May 2019

Western Nationalists Insure Russian Dingle-berry Crop

Oligarchs scam stupid nationalist investors with two-hundred-billion-dollar Russian dingle-berry crop insurance scheme.

written by C/L, 09 May 2019

Authorities Shut Down Sperm Bank-Yogurt Shop

Health inspectors shut down a sperm bank that was also operating a yogurt shop on the back side of its lab facility.

written by C/L, 09 May 2019

Supreme Court Disqualifies Trump, Removes him from Presidency

A review of tapes from the Republican 2016 presidential debates reveals that Trump bumped Ohio governor Kasich as the candidates entered the stage for the second debate.

written by Ralph E. Shaffer, 06 May 2019

The Kardashians Moving Into Politics

If the Kardashians were to go into politics, they would be the Trumps.

written by K.C. Bell, 04 May 2019

President's Orwellian Campaign to Rehabilitate Fascism Continues Unabated

Yesterday in an hour-long phone call with Russian dictator Vladimir Putin, President Trump took painstaking notes about Putin's fascist strategy on large newsprint pad in crayon.

written by C/L, 04 May 2019

Mattel Anounces Its Witless, Lying, Clueless Pygmy Line

Branching out in new novelty items, Mattel added the Jerry Nadslur, the Adam Shifty-Sh*tty, and Ilan Omygallallah, an AOC-Beanstalk, a Beto-Blatherer, a Bernie-Loonie, and a Biden-B-Goofy to its line.

written by Trinculoman, 04 May 2019

NRA Officially Adopts The Kalashnikov Assault Rifle as its Emblem to Honor Russian Oligarchs

The NRA adopts the Kalashnikov assault rifle as its official emblem in honor of Russian oligarch's continued efforts to aid in the establishment of authoritarianism in America.

written by C/L, 04 May 2019

Friendly Russian Recruited Beluga Spy Disappears

Friendly Russian-recruited, Beluga whale spy disappears after seafaring camera crew blows its cover.

written by C/L, 03 May 2019

Surgeon Discovers Trump's Brain in Colo-Rectal Region

Bethesda Naval Hospital surgeon halts procedure to remove large mass in President Trump's upper rectum when he realizes the mass is actually critical brain tissue.

written by C/L, 03 May 2019

Cooking Shows Just Destroy People's Dreams

A recent study concludes that harsh reality cooking shows just make aspiring chefs feel like shit, and crush their hopes and dreams.

written by C/L, 02 May 2019

New Reality Show Cake Room Escape Room to Air and be Cancelled Soon

A new ridiculous reality show Cake Room Escape Room, is set to make its disastrous debut, followed by its imminent cancellation.

written by C/L, 02 May 2019

William Barr Slated to Spend Another Day in the Justice Department Laughing at the Constitution

William Barr is slated to spend yet another day with his feet up on his desk flouting the rule of law and trashing democracy while he eats cheeseburgers and follows Trump's tweets.

written by C/L, 02 May 2019

Wanker's Chocolate Factory to Merge with King Potty Septic Treatment Corporation

Wanker's Chocolate Factory receives approval from the Trump administration to merge with King Potty Septic Treatment Corporation.

written by C/L, 02 May 2019

Flying Kremlin Monkeys Signal the Start of Putin's 2020 US Presidential Election Interference Season

Flying monkeys carrying laptop computers and wearing confederate flag T-shirts seen flying around the Kremlin in a lead-up to 2020 presidential election, interference season.

written by C/L, 01 May 2019

Rumors Confirm That Mulvaney Rides Around the Oval Office on Children's Tricycle

Donald Trump delights in watching Mick Mulvaney ride around the oval office on a child's tricycle while lauding Trump for his "fiscal genius."

written by C/L, 01 May 2019
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