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Sales blames ring for illness

Boston Red Sox baseball player "Lefty" Sales said his cock ring made him sick. "It turned my penis green," he said. "My girlfriend paid for gold, but obviously, the jeweler sold her brass."
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Matt Brown
Matt Brown
Joined: 01 April 2011
Stories Written: 29

Seven day catch up

Check out anything you've missed with the archive:

Bill Cosby Gets Standing Ovation From Cellmate

Funny story: Bill Cosby Gets Standing Ovation From Cellmate

It was a much more relaxed evening for jailed comedian, Bill Cosby, last night, as the 81-year-old former funnyman put on an impromptu performance to remember - even if it will only be remembered by one man, Cosby's cellmate, Thomas 'Frankie' Knuckle...

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Kanye West Has Gone Mad

Funny story: Kanye West Has Gone Mad

After becoming half-mad last week and reducing the length of his first name by 60%, rapper Kanye West has achieved the 'full house' this week, and gone stark-raving bonkers. West spoke to reporters, and announced that he would be in Washington on...

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President Trump To Change The Ending Of 'In The Heat Of The Night' (1967)

Funny story: President Trump To Change The Ending Of 'In The Heat Of The Night' (1967)

In the latest of a series of ultraradical Right-leaning decisions, US President Donald Trump has decided to change the ending of the highly-influential 1967 Norman Jewison movie, 'In The Heat Of The Night'. The movie starring Rod Steiger and Sidne...

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Fan Hates U2 Because They Are Popular

Funny story: Fan Hates U2 Because They Are Popular

A local man who grew up loving U2, hates them now because they are popular. “U2 used to be awesome until everyone else started liking them, then they became awful,” said the man, Kevin Stevens. “I liked them when they were young and up-and-coming,...

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Fire Chief In Trouble Over Improper Use Of Fire Engine And Crew

Funny story: Fire Chief In Trouble Over Improper Use Of Fire Engine And Crew

A Fire Chief in charge of a local fire station was in hot water earlier, after it was revealed he had used the station's fire engine and its crew improperly - to stick up bill posters for the Firemen's Brass Band Concert! Captain Flack, of Trumpt...

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Man not overly concerned about the ending of Television programmes

Funny story: Man not overly concerned about the ending of Television programmes

Gary Wayne, a 44-year-old failed accountancy student, chemist, and shop worker, told his friend, Bob, in the pub, that the ending of television programmes do not have that much impact on his life, if he is honest. Gary said 'I was talking to Bob a...

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Up and Coming Synthpop Duo Yazoo Release Cover of Cheat Codes & Little Mix's "Only You"

MR AWESOME!'S MUSIC REVIEWS Cheat Codes and Little Mix are riding high in the charts with their EDM pop hybrid tune "Only You" and now an exciting new 80s-sounding pop duo has covered it. Yazoo, from Basildon in south east England, consist of f...

Read full storyView 'Up and Coming Synthpop Duo Yazoo Release Cover of Cheat Codes & Little Mix's "Only You"'

Apprentice Review: Apprentice Candidates Reach Peak Self Entitlement

Funny story: Apprentice Review: Apprentice Candidates Reach Peak Self Entitlement

It's Apptober again! The Apprentice has returned for another season and this year the candidates are more hapless than ever. Take IT Consultant Prakash, who has a very unique way of producing wealth. "I ooze wealth from my every pore." Explains Praka...

Read full storyView 'Apprentice Review: Apprentice Candidates Reach Peak Self Entitlement'
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