There were 313 spoof news stories published in June 2020. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Hydroxychloroqen: A Memory Supplement?

Hydroxychloroqen: A Memory Supplement?

Commercial for Hydroxychloroqen, with President Trump standing in a Right Maid drugstore, at a counter, without a mask. Do you have concerns about mild memory loss related to aging or illness? Hydroxychloroqen is the number 1 pharmacist-recomme...

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Funny story: Trump Has Bone Spurs On His Knees

Trump Has Bone Spurs On His Knees

While members of Congress are taking one knee for eight and a half minutes, symbolic of George Floyd’s eight-minute murder, Donald Trump rejects the opportunity to demonstrate a degree of compassion, claiming he has bone spurs on his knees. Strang...

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Funny story: Senior Technical Writer And Corporate Manager At Healthcare Company Makes Official Apology For Self-Destructive Weekend Behavior

Senior Technical Writer And Corporate Manager At Healthcare Company Makes Official Apology For Self-Destructive Weekend Behavior

Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Fully expecting a rational and highly-collaborative online discussion on how to select a proper medium through which to facilitate and transfer comprehension of extraordinarily complex updates in healthcare technology to hospit...

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Funny story: Trump To Sue CNN For 30% Poll Result

Trump To Sue CNN For 30% Poll Result

Donald Trump, also known as The Bunker Guy, or The Creature From The Black Lagoon, is miffed by the most recent poll taken by CNN. Surprise, surprise, it indicates Trump has fallen into the 30% range, as in 38%. Caramba! That’s good news for Ameri…

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Funny story: Meteorologists Warn That an Asteroid the Size of Seattle is Heading For Mar-a-Lago

Meteorologists Warn That an Asteroid the Size of Seattle is Heading For Mar-a-Lago

BANGOR, Maine – The East Coast Meteorological Council has just issued a report that should strike fear in President Trump. The ECMC has said that an asteroid the size of Seattle is heading directly for Mar-a-Lago, Florida, Trump’s Southern White H...

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Funny story: Actor Leonard McMills, Famous For Playing A Boneless Wing Addict, Caught Eating Boneless Wings in Mall Parking Lot

Actor Leonard McMills, Famous For Playing A Boneless Wing Addict, Caught Eating Boneless Wings in Mall Parking Lot

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA - Hollywood-based actor Leonard McMills who catapulted to fame after being cast as boneless wing addict and gym teacher Lance Miles on the Netflix show "Run For Your Lives" was found by police early Tuesday morning passed o…

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Funny story: Major League Baseball Says “Play Ball!”

Major League Baseball Says “Play Ball!”

NEW YORK CITY – Finally, fans will get to cheer for their favorite baseball teams, as the MLB has announced that the 2020 COVID-19 Baseball Season will begin on July 23, 2020. MLB spokesperson, Guyler P. Monticello, offered up some of the details...

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Funny story: Baby Boom leads the planet into recession!

Baby Boom leads the planet into recession!

As if Covid 19 lockdowns, unemployment, fear of a new pandemic, and furlough payments weren't enough to drive the world into recession! No, now we have a 'baby boom' heading our way like a tsunami hitting Japan! Scientists studying demographic mov...

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Funny story: Why You Can’t Leave Hotel California: The Blue Heeler Bites Back

Why You Can’t Leave Hotel California: The Blue Heeler Bites Back

BILLINGSGATE POST: If you listen carefully to the lyrics of Hotel California, by The Eagles, you might easily make the mistake of over-analyzing the song; attributing inappropriate metaphors to decipher the true meanings of the lyrics. Have you e…

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Funny story: Trump and Johnson to be replaced by 2-year-old toddlers!

Trump and Johnson to be replaced by 2-year-old toddlers!

Sensational news coming out of the White House and number 10 Downing Street! A group of Harvard and Oxford University professors have accumulated a questionnaire for both world leaders regarding global, important matters. They also gave the same…

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Funny story: The Sound of Bats Hitting Balls Will Soon Be Heard as Baseball is Just Around the Corner

The Sound of Bats Hitting Balls Will Soon Be Heard as Baseball is Just Around the Corner

NEW YORK CITY – Major League Baseball Commissioner Robert “Bobby” Manfred is thrilled to report that baseball will soon be back at the dozens of MLB parks, stadiums, fields, and domes. Manfred told Hiawatha Pamplona with Sport’s Territory Magazine…

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Funny story: Dominic Cummings Plays Down His Resemblance To Coronation Street's Pat Phelan

Dominic Cummings Plays Down His Resemblance To Coronation Street's Pat Phelan

Dominc Cummings, the hatchet man of Prime Minister Boris Johnson, has tried to play down suggestions that he is actually former Coronation Street character, hatchet man, Pat Phelan. Cummings was in the news recently for breaking his own lockdown r...

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Funny story: Man Had Writer's Block

Man Had Writer's Block

A man who tentatively refers to himself as a writer when he contributes not infrequently to an online satirical news outlet, has told of how he became afflicted with the well-known stumbling block of scribblers the world over, when he came down with...

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Funny story: Writing Website Didn't Explain Writing Very Well

Writing Website Didn't Explain Writing Very Well

An educational website that claimed it had an easy way for its readers to remember how to spell certain words has failed in its mission, after one man spotted a glaring error in its logic. Moys Kenwood, 57, wanted to check the spelling of the word…

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Funny story: Ireland Tells The Heavy Metal Band, The C-19, To Change It’s Name

Ireland Tells The Heavy Metal Band, The C-19, To Change It’s Name

DUBLIN – Ireland’s Department of Decency in Naming has just informed the popular Irish heavy metal band, C-19, that they will have to change their band name. Band frontman Doolin Tipperary, asked why in the world would they have to change it. H...

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Funny story: Toddler still Toddling

Toddler still Toddling

2-year-old toddler, Brian Hammerstein, has told the world, or at least the family cat, that he plans to be still toddling in three months from now. 'Why would I want to be a grown-up?' asked Brian (a name you wouldn't associate with a toddler, but…

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Funny story: Senator Murkowski Of Alaska Is Struggling

Senator Murkowski Of Alaska Is Struggling

Maybe she should and maybe she shouldn’t, or maybe she could, and maybe she couldn’t, it all depends on whether she can or whether she can’t condemn or support the mouse or the gorilla who lives or hides in the White House or the bunker. So were...

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Funny story: President Trump To Re-Start His MAGA Campaign Rallies – Bleach Provided Upon Request

President Trump To Re-Start His MAGA Campaign Rallies – Bleach Provided Upon Request

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump just made tens of millions of Democrats happy as hell. "The Orange Mess" has just announced that he will be starting up his MAGA campaign rallies in Tulsa, Oklahoma at the Sooner or Later Arena. Trump, who ha...

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Funny story: Meghan Markle Hired by Victoria's Secret to Model Skimpy Bikini Swimsuits

Meghan Markle Hired by Victoria's Secret to Model Skimpy Bikini Swimsuits

LOS ANGELES – The former Duchess of Sussex, and wife of Prince Harry, has just signed a very lucrative contract with Victoria’s Secret. The 38-year-old beauty has become very popular since returning to the states from merry old England. Markle...

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Funny story: Black Lace record has been played too many times during Lockdown

Black Lace record has been played too many times during Lockdown

Agadoo, a 1980s hit for Yorkshire-based popular beat combo, Black Lace, is said to be the most heard, but least wanted song played during the lockdown. Couples all over the country, wanting to remember the good times when Auntie Janice would form…

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Funny story: Football Referees Will ALL Have Coronavirus Symptoms

Football Referees Will ALL Have Coronavirus Symptoms

As the return of football gets ever nearer to its restart, and the completion of the 2019/20 season, it's been announced that ALL of the referees and linesmen officiating at matches will be suffering with COVID-19 symptoms. The strange decision ha...

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Funny story: Brian's Guide to Paperclip Curation still not selling

Brian's Guide to Paperclip Curation still not selling

Chutney on the Fritz's entrepreneur, Brian Asshat, has revealed to us that, since the launch of his guide to paper-clip curation was launched on Amazon Kindle, it is yet to sell a single copy. 'I did like all of the experts tell you,' said the 64-…

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Funny story: Howard Stern Has Reportedly Said That President Trump Should Bite The Bullet and Resign For the Good of The Country

Howard Stern Has Reportedly Said That President Trump Should Bite The Bullet and Resign For the Good of The Country

NEW YORK CITY – Howard Stern, the “Shock Jock” who has never been shy about stating his beliefs, has told the Baltimore Implier-Journal newspaper that President “Agent Orange” needs to stop acting like a spoiled diva and resign for the good of the na...

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Funny story: Top 10 Things That WILL Kill You in 2020

Top 10 Things That WILL Kill You in 2020

Death is ALWAYS around an unexpected corner. A person can NEVER be too safe. FEAR not, friends. I’m here to proffer a very specific list in the hopes that it will SAVE lives. Below is a list of the ten most likely things to KILL you in th…

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Funny story: Biden calls for mandatory mask-wearing; almost gets himself tested with a GX-2009 Portable Multi-Gas Detector

Biden calls for mandatory mask-wearing; almost gets himself tested with a GX-2009 Portable Multi-Gas Detector

Yesterday in an interview with a major news network, Mr. Biden confirmed he is an advocate of mask-wearing, and he will make it mandatory, when president. He stood eight feet away from the anchor at his news desk, both wearing masks, Mr. Biden bac…

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Funny story: White Cliffs Of Dover To Be Demolished As Black Lives Matter Campaign Gathers Pace

White Cliffs Of Dover To Be Demolished As Black Lives Matter Campaign Gathers Pace

There's already an 'erosion issue' on the Kent coast, but leaders of Britain's black communities say they are not prepared to wait for Nature to take its course, and have demanded that the White Cliffs of Dover be taken down, and consigned to history...

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Funny story: Masked Batman and Robin attempt to rob a sweet shop in Putney, London!

Masked Batman and Robin attempt to rob a sweet shop in Putney, London!

Two masked anti-heroes marched into a sweet shop yesterday, dressed as Batman and Robin, and threatened the owner, a 75-year-old female pensioner dressed as Catwoman, with a plastic knife, if she didn't hand over all the bubble gum in the shop! Lu…

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Funny story: Democrats Vow Apocalypse for 2020

Democrats Vow Apocalypse for 2020

NEW YORK - Major cities in the United States have been devastated by riots, arson, and widespread looting. In a bold political calculation, Democrats put their full support behind Anarchists, Marxists, and Nihilistic Mobs. Their policy announcement w...

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Funny story: The NFL In Order To Attract More Members of The LGBTQ Community Will Begin Using Rainbow Colored Footballs

The NFL In Order To Attract More Members of The LGBTQ Community Will Begin Using Rainbow Colored Footballs

NEW YORK CITY – The powers-that-be in the NFL recently met in the Big Apple, and discussed what they can do to attract more fans to their games. Everyone agreed that, for one thing, they needed to do away with the kickoff, which is the most boring…

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Funny story: Black Women In Open Revolt Against Violent Husbands

Black Women In Open Revolt Against Violent Husbands

Just when we thought things couldn't possibly get any worse after the recent Black Lives Matter demonstrations and riots, a new protest has begun, against the domestic violence suffered against their persons by the black wives of black men. The o…

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Funny story: Couple telling everyone about their lock down anxiety dreams

Couple telling everyone about their lock down anxiety dreams

Mithering on the Trent couple, Stan and Vera, have been telling anyone who would listen, including their postmen, about the weird, anxiety lockdown dreams they have been having lately. 'Yes, it has been a bit strange,' said Stan, when we were the…

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Funny story: Trump’s Next Big MAGA Political Campaign Rally Will Be Held at a McDonalds

Trump’s Next Big MAGA Political Campaign Rally Will Be Held at a McDonalds

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A spokesperson for the 2020 Trump Presidential Campaign has just informed the media that Trump’s next world-famous campaign rally will be held in Moose Mouth, North Dakota. Campaign spokesperson, Peter “Pepe” Von Vixen, pointed…

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Funny story: Man Sets Out To Re-invent The Wheel

Man Sets Out To Re-invent The Wheel

A man who has, clearly, got a few slates missing, has astounded his family, friends and neighbors by informing them that he is to try to re-invent the wheel. The wheel, which has been used since ancient times - before even 1950 - has become an ind…

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Funny story: Trump Read 10 Commandments From The Bible At St. John’s Church

Trump Read 10 Commandments From The Bible At St. John’s Church

The fake news media are such a terrible group. None of them even mentioned Trump’s readings from the bible as he stood in front of St. John’s Episcopal Church. The fakers even shut down their cameras when he opened the book. And those rumors that...

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Funny story: News You Missed During Protests, Fires and Looting

News You Missed During Protests, Fires and Looting

Spoof News HQ, Shangri-La, Kunlun Mts, China. For nearly two weeks newscasts, both television and radio, have focused so heavily on the Floyd protests and their ancillary activities such as fires and looting, that most news junkies have been unable…

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Funny story: Mitch McConnell Voted The Ugliest Senator in the Senate

Mitch McConnell Voted The Ugliest Senator in the Senate

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A nationwide poll was recently conducted which dealt strictly on looks. A total of 901,883 individuals were asked to rate each one of the United States senators as far as looks go. A 10 was for handsome and beautiful. And a 1 wa...

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Funny story: Planetary Scientists Want To Change the Name Uranus to Rectalinia

Planetary Scientists Want To Change the Name Uranus to Rectalinia

HOUSTON – It is being reported by several publications that experts in the world of planetary science are urging President Trump to change the name of the planet Uranus to Rectalinia. They state that it is time, once and for all, to put an end to...

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Funny story: Trump to Hire Climate Advisor; Must Have a Decade of Experience Being Horribly Wrong About Weather Trends

Trump to Hire Climate Advisor; Must Have a Decade of Experience Being Horribly Wrong About Weather Trends

Washington - President Donald Trump is seeking a Climate Advisor to inform the White House on developing weather trends, including man-made global warming. Insiders were evaluating several candidates based on a specific set of qualifications and e…

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Funny story: The Bunker And Trump

The Bunker And Trump

Of course, he didn’t run to the White House basement bunker to hide when he heard protesters across the lawn on Pennsylvania Avenue. He just decided that was a good time to examine the bunker. It was a “Look, see”. See if the bunker had a televis...

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Funny story: Man Sets Out To Disinvent The Internet

Man Sets Out To Disinvent The Internet

A man who says he is incensed at the way modern-day society has become a "slave to technology", with seemingly everything controlled by the internet, has announced that he is determined to halt this process, and make the 'world wide web' a thing of t…

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Funny story: Google AI Goes "Jerk-Wad" After Self-Awareness

Google AI Goes "Jerk-Wad" After Self-Awareness

SAN FRANCISCO - Several experts in the computer technology field learned of Google having an AI which achieved Self-Awareness, soon after the event occurred. For the most part, developers who were involved in the research kept all of their informatio…

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Funny story: Donald Trump Finally Admits That He and Vladimir Putin Text Each Other on a Nightly Basis

Donald Trump Finally Admits That He and Vladimir Putin Text Each Other on a Nightly Basis

WASHINGTON, D.C. – After first denying that he has ever met Russian leader Vladimir Putin, Trump has finally admitted that he and his Russian hero do in fact text each other on a nightly basis. POTUS said that they mainly just talk about the weath...

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Funny story: Football Riot Sparks Call For Change In Policing

Football Riot Sparks Call For Change In Policing

A major disturbance during a top football match sparked calls for improved security and policing if a repeat of the disgraceful scenes of violence was to be avoided. The incident happened way back in 1974, but I've only just remembered it. The...

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Funny story: President Trump's Freudian Slip In Black Lives Matter Speech

President Trump's Freudian Slip In Black Lives Matter Speech

There were more protests in cities across the country last night, complemented by riots, fires and looting, after President Donald Trump, speaking during a televised address to the nation about his "tremendous heartfelt and genuine concern" for the l...

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Funny story: Justin Bieber Files a Counter-Lawsuit Against His Sexual Accuser

Justin Bieber Files a Counter-Lawsuit Against His Sexual Accuser

AUSTIN – Justin Bieber says that he is getting fed up with every time he smiles at a girl, she runs home, gets on the computer, and says that she was sexually assaulted by him. Bieber said that most of these types of women are 6s or lower. He poin…

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Funny story: Trump Demands Court Stop Bolton Book Because "It Has Way Too Many Pages and Big Words"

Trump Demands Court Stop Bolton Book Because "It Has Way Too Many Pages and Big Words"

Washington - President Donald Trump tweeted, on Friday, that the U.S. Supreme Court should "stop the release of lying John Bolton's new book immediately", because he decreed that anything said to Bolton is automatically classified to the "highest deg…

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Funny story: Donald Trump Sends His Congratulations To The SS

Donald Trump Sends His Congratulations To The SS

Even fake news can’t make this stuff up. The Bunker Guy, also known as the Archie Bunker Guy, sent his congratulations to the SS for doing such a great job, overcoming peaceful protesters, demonstrating against police brutality near St. John’s Episc…

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Funny story: Sammy Hagar Pisses Off a Lot of Real Singers

Sammy Hagar Pisses Off a Lot of Real Singers

BISON SPIT, Montana – Former singer, Sammy Hagar, who is 72-going-on-92, has just made what is being considered by many to be the most idiotic, stupid remark regarding the Coronavirus pandemic yet. The Memphis Post-Haste newspaper wrote that even...

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Funny story: KFC Addresses the Rumor That They Fed Their Chickens Picante Sauce To Produce a Naturally Spicy Chicken

KFC Addresses the Rumor That They Fed Their Chickens Picante Sauce To Produce a Naturally Spicy Chicken

LOUISVILLE, Kentucky – The Kentucky Fried Chicken Corporation wants to address a rumor that apparently first started in Pensacola, Florida. Reignbeau Berra, who is KFC’s director of advertising, said that she first heard about the rumor from her 1…

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Funny story: President Donald J. Trump Finally Issues His Official Presidential Report on The Minneapolis Riots

President Donald J. Trump Finally Issues His Official Presidential Report on The Minneapolis Riots

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The president has finally gotten around to issuing his Oval Office report on the Minneapolis Riots. He began by saying that most of the rioters were protesters, looters, thugs, punks, and some were probably real good basketball...

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Funny story: Donald Trump Says The Republican National Committee Convention Will Be Held in Jacksonville, Florida Come Hell, High Water, or The C-19

Donald Trump Says The Republican National Committee Convention Will Be Held in Jacksonville, Florida Come Hell, High Water, or The C-19

LAKE CHARLES, Louisiana – The president flew down to the Bayou State of Louisiana, to meet with a highly reputable Cajun voodoo practitioner. Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany said that the president met with Lottie Jo Lafayette, who is considered...

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Funny story: President Trump is Furious That 187 Feet of the Border Wall Was Painted Black

President Trump is Furious That 187 Feet of the Border Wall Was Painted Black

CALEXICO, California – President Donald Trump has inspected a section of his big beautiful wall that Mexico will be paying for, ahhh, sometime in 2025 maybe. A Border Patrol agent, who drove him along the wall, said that POTUS asked him why they h…

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Funny story: Nigel Farage is definitely a reincarnated Oswald Mosley clone!

Nigel Farage is definitely a reincarnated Oswald Mosley clone!

Although the Covid 19 pandemic is a global disaster, there sometimes can be a 'silver lining' in any form of negativity. UK testing has been a disaster, we all know that, but one test has thrown up significant proof that reincarnation is a fact!…

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Funny story: Man Made Rather Obvious 'Play On Words' Joke

Man Made Rather Obvious 'Play On Words' Joke

There was a knowing smile and a short expulsion of air from the nose this morning, when a contributor to a satirical news website read the comments of another writer in the site's forum, which amounted to a rather obvious - though not totally humorle…

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Funny story: Spoof Readers Becoming Tired With The Spoof?

Spoof Readers Becoming Tired With The Spoof?

Figures just in have shown that interest in a satirical news website is waning at an alarming rate. TheSpoof.com, a site which allows anyone and everyone the freedom to submit half-baked and ill-thought-out nonsense without even the most basic sta...

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Funny story: Man really missing his taxidermy group during lockdown

Man really missing his taxidermy group during lockdown

Gareth Johnson, a jovial man who likes to talk about the weather to strangers on the train, has revealed that, during the lockdown, he has missed the weekly exploits provided by his taxidermy group. 'I miss it,' said Gareth. 'I mean, the group is…

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Funny story: Manchester United's Harry Maguire Scores Fantastic Goal During Extra Time In Training

Manchester United's Harry Maguire Scores Fantastic Goal During Extra Time In Training

As the return of Premier League football gets ever nearer, there was good news for Manchester United this week, when centeal defender and captain, Harry Maguire, showed he is 'raring to go' by scoring a fantastic individual goal during training. U...

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Funny story: White House To Remain White - For The Time Being

White House To Remain White - For The Time Being

There is to be an all-channel announcement tonight about the future of the White House, after it had been rumored on various social media platforms, that, after pressure from the Black Lives Matter organization, the address at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenu…

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Funny story: George Floyd Protesters Vow To "Put Everything Back" If Justice Is Done

George Floyd Protesters Vow To "Put Everything Back" If Justice Is Done

Protesters who rioted and ransacked stores during violent demonstrations against the murder in custody of George Floyd, have said they only want justice, and have vowed to return all of the goods stolen from shops once justice is done. The streets...

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Funny story: Warren Puffit: "Dow at All-Time High by Election Day"

Warren Puffit: "Dow at All-Time High by Election Day"

In a rare interview, financier Warren Puffit told Spoof On Business: "We may be in a recession, and the stock market may have fallen nearly forty percent, but it is a certainty that the Dow Industrials will hit an all-time high before election day in…

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Funny story: Trump Astonished At Judge's Decision To Allow John Bolton Book To Go Ahead

Trump Astonished At Judge's Decision To Allow John Bolton Book To Go Ahead

President Trump has expressed astonishment at a judge's decision to allow the publication of former National Security Adviser John Bolton's book to go ahead as planned on Tuesday. According to several different White House sources, the President w...

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Funny story: Rat Trap Glue Really Did Work!

Rat Trap Glue Really Did Work!

A man who had "severe doubts" as to the potential effectiveness of a pest control product that his wife brought home from the market, was forced to concede he had been premature in his analysis, after a total of seven mice fell victim to it in four d...

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Funny story: WTF! Roy Rogers’ Horse “Trigger” Toppled By Masked Men

WTF! Roy Rogers’ Horse “Trigger” Toppled By Masked Men

BILLINGSGATE POST: First it was Confederate generals. Next it was Christopher Columbus and Junipero Serra. Revisionist wackos are now talking about nuking Mount Rushmore, where the busts of Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt were ca...

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Funny story: Wombles are very busy, again

Wombles are very busy, again

Madame Cholet, Great Uncle Bulgaria and Tobermory, despite their increasing ages, are set to start clearing Wimbledon Common, as and when Lockdown restrictions are lifted. The three well-known characters have been taking it easy over the past few…

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Funny story: Many Evangelicals Are Now Admitting That President Trump Needs to be Put in a Home

Many Evangelicals Are Now Admitting That President Trump Needs to be Put in a Home

SIOUX CITY, Iowa – After following him like baby ducklings behind their mama, Evangelicals are now starting to wake up and see the full picture, the picture that has always been in front of their holier-than-thou countenances. And many of them are…

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Funny story: President Trump: 'Roots' By Alex Haley Is Fake News

President Trump: 'Roots' By Alex Haley Is Fake News

President Trump has condemned Hollywood "mischief-makers" for what he says is "totally irresponsible mischief-making" over 'Roots', the 1977 television series based on the book of the same name by Alex Haley. He also slated Black Lives Matter.

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Funny story: The Heavy Metal Band Formerly Known as C-19 is Now Officially Known as WD-40

The Heavy Metal Band Formerly Known as C-19 is Now Officially Known as WD-40

DUBLIN – Doolin Tipperary, the lead singer with the Irish heavy metal band formerly known as C-19, says the band has officially changed its name, and now goes by the name WD-40. “Tip”, as his bandmates and fans call him, said that when the band wa...

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Funny story: Black Lives Matter Joined By Other Colors That Matter

Black Lives Matter Joined By Other Colors That Matter

There was trouble brewing all around the world last night, as the apparent success of the Black Lives Matter campaign gave rise to calls from other races that other colors matter as well. Protestors gathered in the Saudi Arabian capital of Riyadh,...

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Funny story: Rat Trap Glue Snares Flies!

Rat Trap Glue Snares Flies!

A man has revealed how the Rat Trap Glue product his wife bought at the market to snare a family of mice living in his roofspace, can also be used to get rid of the nasty hazard of household flies - in their zillions! Moys Kenwood, 56, whose wife...

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Funny story: Elon Musk discovers space station orbiting Earth

Elon Musk discovers space station orbiting Earth

This week, SpaceX launched the first ever rocket from US soil into space, and the crew were astonished to find a strange alien space station already orbiting the Earth. "It was totally unexpected," said baboon-faced Musk. "We thought we were the p...

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Funny story: Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Spoken To By Police In Connection With Fan Abduction Incident

Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Spoken To By Police In Connection With Fan Abduction Incident

Police in Norfolk have said they have spoken to the Manchester United captain and England defender, Harry Maguire, about an incident in which they say a fan was abducted outside Carrow Road after the FA Cup quarter-final tie between Norwich and Unit…

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Funny story: John Bolton Book Queues Latest

John Bolton Book Queues Latest

The interest surrounding the release, on Tuesday, of the book written by the former US National Security Adviser, John Bolton, has prompted countless thousands of scandal-hunting readers to form queues outside bookstores in most major cities this mor...

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Funny story: Astronauts Report Bumpy Ride: SpaceX Cuts Price for Civilian Earth Orbit

Astronauts Report Bumpy Ride: SpaceX Cuts Price for Civilian Earth Orbit

The Space Station, Somewhere in Orbit. - NASA astronauts Robert Behnken and Douglas Hurley reported while in-flight in their Dragon capsule, that the liftoff was bumpy, more so than on their previous flights on the Space Shuttle. Within minutes of...

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Funny story: Anti-Trump Evangelicals From The Crop Rotating State of Iowa Speak Out About Their Former Messiah Donald J. Trump

Anti-Trump Evangelicals From The Crop Rotating State of Iowa Speak Out About Their Former Messiah Donald J. Trump

Corn Shuck, Iowa – A group of very devoted evangelicals, who had been blindly following President Donald Trump, met at a Knights of Ponce De Leon Meeting Hall. The spokesperson of the group, who said his name was Marco Polo, stated that they have...

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Funny story: Burger King To Offer Free Designer Coronavirus Masks With Any Purchase

Burger King To Offer Free Designer Coronavirus Masks With Any Purchase

INDIANAPOLIS – A high-ranking official with Burger King has just announced a summertime promotion. Plans are for BK to begin offering customers free Coronavirus medical masks with any purchase of a Burger King product. The masks will come in t…

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Funny story: Coronavirus Experts Warn That as Many as 900 Trump Supporters at His Tulsa Campaign Rally Could Catch C-19 if They Do Not Protect Themselves

Coronavirus Experts Warn That as Many as 900 Trump Supporters at His Tulsa Campaign Rally Could Catch C-19 if They Do Not Protect Themselves

Miami – Officials with the Atlantic Coast Commission For The Control of The Coronavirus are warning that President Trump supporters attending the GOP rally in Tulsa could all be walking into a disease-infested trap. Poindexter St. Water, with the...

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Funny story: Brilliant Writer Has Fucked Up Weekend Beginning With Loss Of Entire Novel On "Piece-Of-Shit" USB Flash Drive

Brilliant Writer Has Fucked Up Weekend Beginning With Loss Of Entire Novel On "Piece-Of-Shit" USB Flash Drive

Midwest. After spending 10 years carefully managing his time, avoiding high-stress professional careers, and using every single ounce of his creative energy to construct a massive science fiction novel, Minnesota resident and part-time administrativ...

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Funny story: Pig Virus More Deadly Than Covid-19

Pig Virus More Deadly Than Covid-19

A new virus with pandemic potential has been discovered by scientists in the home of deadly viruses, China. This virus, they say, originated in pigs. Oink oink. The new discovery comes hot on the trotters of the current Covid-19 pandemic, an...

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Funny story: Welsh Government relaxes lockdown rules on sheep shagging

Welsh Government relaxes lockdown rules on sheep shagging

In a welcome move for farmers across Wales, the Cardiff devolved government has announced it is relaxing its Coronavirus lockdown rules on outdoor exercise. This means that the people of Wales can do what they like outdoors once again. Daffid Wigg...

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Funny story: Costa Rica Says They Are About Three Weeks From Acquiring a Hydrogen Bomb

Costa Rica Says They Are About Three Weeks From Acquiring a Hydrogen Bomb

SAN JOSE, Costa Rica – Reports filtering out of the Pentagon state that the Central American country of Costa Rica, which is noted for bananas, Ramen, and stethoscopes, will soon be joining the world of destructive bomb-possessing countries. A Pe...

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Funny story: Joe Biden changes his name to Joe Bidet

Joe Biden changes his name to Joe Bidet

Oakland, CA - Miss Buttercups Beauty Contest Joe Bidet, formerly known as Joe Biden, announced today to a large gathering of twelve people, including one reporter, that he sits on the toilet backwards. “Yea.. I just.. I wanna.. you know? I tho...

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Funny story: Football Setback As 2,500 Players Test Positive For Greed

Football Setback As 2,500 Players Test Positive For Greed

There was a catastrophe on the eve of the return of the football programme last night, when it was announced that a staggering 2,563 professional football players had tested positive for greed. The infected players came from every club. None ha...

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Funny story: Man's Feet Looked Silly After He Got Sunburnt Whilst Wearing Flip-Flops

Man's Feet Looked Silly After He Got Sunburnt Whilst Wearing Flip-Flops

A man who should, perhaps, have given more consideration to the kind of footwear he was wearing whilst out in the sun, has been left with silly-looking feet due to sunburn. Moys Kenwood, 56, has been wearing flip-flops during his extended enforced...

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Funny story: McDonalds Announces That Their Happy Meals Are Going To Go Way Up In Price

McDonalds Announces That Their Happy Meals Are Going To Go Way Up In Price

CHICAGO – Meat prices have been skyrocketing across the nation due to the Cow Branding Scandal. Meat packers report that they have no choice but to raise the price on all meat products, from woodchuck steaks to filet du flamingo. Meanwhile, a s...

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Funny story: Black Lives Matter Targets English Towns With 'White' In Their Name

Black Lives Matter Targets English Towns With 'White' In Their Name

As the Black Lives Matter caravan careers on and on, with, seemingly, no limit as to where it might end up, there has been unrest in hundreds of locations in England whose names contain the word 'White'. Demonstrations, protests, riots, looting, a…

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Funny story: Black Lives Matter Attacked By Trump, Who Says The Only Life That Matters Is His Own

Black Lives Matter Attacked By Trump, Who Says The Only Life That Matters Is His Own

After the anti-racism protests held in countries across the world, as well as in Racism's spiritual homeland - the US - President Donald Trump has spoken out to deny that 'black lives matter', and has asserted that NO lives matter except his own.

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Funny story: Man Was Disappointed That It Wasn't Fish And Chips For Tea

Man Was Disappointed That It Wasn't Fish And Chips For Tea

A man who was absolutely famished and looking forward to sitting down to a plate of fish and chips for his tea last night, was disappointed to learn that, unfortunately, fish wasn't on the menu, due to his wife having arrived at the market too late.

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Funny story: Spain Cancels All Bullfights – Matadors Are Demanding a Bailout

Spain Cancels All Bullfights – Matadors Are Demanding a Bailout

MADRID – The Sunday ritual of “Ole! Ole! Ole!” has just been silenced in the European country of Spain. The head of the Bullfighters Union, Paco McFlaco, 43, has informed all union matadors that, effective immediately, all bullfights have been off...

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Funny story: The New Name For Aunt Jemima Pancake Mix Has Just Been Announced

The New Name For Aunt Jemima Pancake Mix Has Just Been Announced

CHICAGO – The Quaker Oats Corporation, which makes Aunt Jemima Pancake Mix, has just revealed that they are dropping the racist name Aunt Jemima and replacing it with another name. Helga Tuscaloosa, 57, who runs the product-naming department at th...

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Funny story: Electric Eels 'Agitated' Left Man Agitated

Electric Eels 'Agitated' Left Man Agitated

A man has recounted how, whilst listening to music from his computer library, yesterday afternoon, he encountered the 1975-written Electric Eels track 'Agitated', and became extremely agitated. The incident happened as veteran music enthusiast, Mo...

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Funny story: Man Couldn't Find His Keys

Man Couldn't Find His Keys

There was a potential crisis in the making, yesterday morning, when one man who was in an extreme rush to get out of the house to go somewhere, was forced into a delay when he couldn't find his fucking keys. An excursion, with his wife and two chi…

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Funny story: Spoof Writer's Greatest Hits Compilation Hits Snag

Spoof Writer's Greatest Hits Compilation Hits Snag

It's been revealed that a writer on the satirical news and parody website, The Spoof, is planning to make a killing at Christmastime by releasing a compilation, in book form and online, of his greatest and most well-loved stories - but there's been a...

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Funny story: Woman who hasn't been to the cinema since Sister Act, really misses going to the cinema

Woman who hasn't been to the cinema since Sister Act, really misses going to the cinema

Sindy Brassingthwaite, who has not been to the cinema since popcorn was cheap, and Sister Act was on, is telling all of her friends that she misses going to the cinema. 'It was around the time with Brian,' said Sindy, 'and we used to go to the cin…

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Funny story: Uncle Ben’s Converted Rice Is Getting a Brand New Name

Uncle Ben’s Converted Rice Is Getting a Brand New Name

HOUSTON – In keeping with racially-correct product themes and names, the company that produces Uncle Ben’s Converted Rice has decided to rename their extremely popular product. In fact, recent studies have shown that Uncle Ben's Rice is the most p...

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Funny story: Native American Indian With Dynamite Arrested At Mount Rushmore

Native American Indian With Dynamite Arrested At Mount Rushmore

It's been announced in the last few minutes, that police in the Black Hills have apprehended and arrested a man carrying a quantity of dynamite in the area of Mount Rushmore. The man was said by witnesses to be a Native American indian, and looked…

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Funny story: Bolton Finally Sings About Trump

Bolton Finally Sings About Trump

John Bolton, the former national security advisor to Donald Trump, who refused to testify during the Trump impeachment trial, finally sings. Not Sinatra sing, but had his book published by Simon & Schuster. Lots of dinero there. Dinero means m...

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Funny story: Liverpool Players Claim They Were 'Put Off' By Saxophonist

Liverpool Players Claim They Were 'Put Off' By Saxophonist

After the most bizarre Merseyside Derby in living memory at the weekend, players of both Liverpool and Everton say they were "nervous to start with", but became increasingly so when they couldn't concentrate because of the relaxing tunes being played...

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Funny story: President Trump’s Niece Has Written a Book About Him That Makes Him Look Like a Big Time Loser

President Trump’s Niece Has Written a Book About Him That Makes Him Look Like a Big Time Loser

NEW YORK CITY – The daughter of President Trump’s brother, Mary Trump, 55, has just published a book that the “Cheater-in-Chief” is positively as mad as a hive of bumble bees about. Mary, who is considered the nicest of all the Trumps, reveals tha...

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Funny story: US Man Is Oldest Spoof Writer On The Planet

US Man Is Oldest Spoof Writer On The Planet

A man who turns 90 years old on his birthday, this Thursday, is now thought to be the oldest spoof writer currently alive anywhere on the planet. Ralph E. Shaffer, 89, a writer on satirical news website, TheSpoof.com, has lived a long and fruitful...

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Funny story: Many People are Noticing How Much Older Ivanka Trump is Looking Lately

Many People are Noticing How Much Older Ivanka Trump is Looking Lately

BEVERLY HILLS – The President's oldest daughter, Ivanka Trump, flew to Beverly Hills on Air Force One yesterday, to get a manicure and a pedicure. Several reporters remarked how old she is looking. One said that he had talked to a White House cook...

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Funny story: Trump Is Such A Cry Baby

Trump Is Such A Cry Baby

Boo, hoo! Donald Trump is such a cry baby! Somebody get the guy a pacifier! Like, quick! Does the whole world have to endure hearing Trump’s cry baby act, blaming former President Barack Obama for every one of Trump's failures? Obama has been out…

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