Black Lives Matter Points Out That Half The Dudes on Mount Rushmore Owned Slaves

Written by Fannin Fabriano

Friday, 26 June 2020

image for Black Lives Matter Points Out That Half The Dudes on Mount Rushmore Owned Slaves
Half of the presidents on Mount Rushmore were slave owners.

DETROIT – A spokesperson for the BLM organization, which now has over 4 million members, including 37,000 whites, has just informed the media that two out of the four presidents on Mount Rushmore were slave owners.

George Washington, the nation’s first president and inventor of the one dollar bill, owned 123 slaves.

Thomas Jefferson, who invented the nickel, actually fathered a whole bunch of little Jeffersons.

Jefferson's wife, allegedly once told her sister that Tommy used to always tell her that she was getting fatter and fatter.

She confided to her sister, “The man is addicted to skinny cinnamon-hued women - what can I say?”

BLM has informed the House of Representatives that they want Washington and Jefferson to be taken down and replaced with John Kennedy and Bill Clinton.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi replied that, Kennedy and Clinton would make excellent replacements, since they’re both Democrats and neither of them wore those silly-looking, white Revolutionary War-type wigs or eye-liner.

Pelosi, who hates Trump more than turkeys hate Thanksgiving, raised her eyebrows, and said, “And the beauty of it all is that neither Kennedy nor Clinton owned any slaves.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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