Durango Police Make An Extremely Unusual Arrest

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 19 June 2020

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Polly Cracker is probably the first parrot in history to ever be arrested.

DURANGO, Colorado – Durango’s Prospectors Bank was nearly robbed yesterday, by an individual who wore a Denver Broncos Coronavirus medical mask.

Bank teller, Concordia Dewdusky, 51, told police that a tall Peruvian man with a parrot on his shoulder entered the bank just before closing time and walked up to her window.

Dewdusky told the man that bank rules strictly prohibited him from bringing a parrot into the bank.

He told her the bird was trained and that he could actually speak seven languages.

She replied that she didn’t care if he could dance the macarena and have coitus with a bison; no parrots allowed.

At that point, the parrot became quite upset and started hollering at the teller to shut up and stop upsetting its master.

Security was called and the parrot was thrown to the ground and placed In handcuffs.

As the parrot, named Polly Cracker, was being led away, bank customers could hear the bird hollering, “This is America. I have rights. Parrot lives matter.”

The parrot was taken down to police headquarters where it was finger…ahhh wingprinted and released on $17 bail.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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