Jennifer Lopez Reveals That Since Sheltering-in-Place Her Ass Has Gained 2-Inches

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 13 June 2020

image for Jennifer Lopez Reveals That Since Sheltering-in-Place Her Ass Has Gained 2-Inches
Jennifer says that she is very strict and she will be able to lose the 2 inches she gained within 36 hours.

NEW YORK CITY – Jennifer Lopez (aka J.Lo) told Voodoo Dupree with Glambuoyant Magazine that all this sheltering-in-place is wreaking havoc on her weight control regimen.

She pointed out that when she is on the road performing nightly concerts, she burns 13,000 calories within a 24-hour period.

J.Lo commented that, now that she has been self-isolating in her mansion, she is only burning up anywhere from 75 to 140 calories per day.

Jenny from the Bronx revealed that her vital measurements two months ago were 34-26-37. She pointed out that now her measurements are 34-26-39.

She giggled, and said, "so if you do the math, my ass has gained 2 inches."

Alex (Rodriguez), ex-New York Yankees super star (and Jennifer's man), comments that he doesn’t care if her ass gains 10 inches.

He smiles as he says, "I tell Jenny that they’ll be just that much more skin to caress, kiss, and photograph."

Jennifer overheard him from the kitchen and yelled out, “Okay, Alex, I'm putting down my turkey drumstick, and that’s it, no more pizza, Big Macs, tamales, meat loaf, or wedding cake."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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