There were 379 spoof news stories published in May 2020. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Words to the Wise: Top Ten Lockdown-Era Definitions You Need to Know NOW!

Words to the Wise: Top Ten Lockdown-Era Definitions You Need to Know NOW!

Granted, humans may have stopped evolving, but not language! Ever fluid, in this, the lockdown era, words and phrases have continued to morph and metastasize in ways that would have been nearly impossible to predict only months ago. Don’t be left...

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Funny story: Trump Supporter From The Start, Says He's Not So Sure Anymore

Trump Supporter From The Start, Says He's Not So Sure Anymore

A man who says he has supported Donald Trump from the very beginning of his political career, during his election, through the highs, lows, trials, tribulations and impeachment, and even his calamitous handling of the Coronavirus crisis, is now admit...

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Funny story: Trump Denies French Claims That Coronavirus Was Present In France In November

Trump Denies French Claims That Coronavirus Was Present In France In November

Donald Trump has refured French scientists' claims that the Coronavirus, initially thought to have originated in China in January, or even December, was present in France as far back ago as November. Trump said that this would not fit in with his...

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Funny story: Of Course Trump Can’t Wear A Mask

Of Course Trump Can’t Wear A Mask

Place after place that Donald Trump has visited, he fails to wear a mask. Few people question, Why? Others silently mumble to one another and snicker to themselves. Silly, if Donald Trump were to wear a mask, just imagine what would happen to his...

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Funny story: Don Lemon to Brett Kavanaugh: When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.

Don Lemon to Brett Kavanaugh: When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.

Brett Kavanaugh, Associate Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court, appears to have finally learned his lesson from the MeToo Movement. In an interview ostensibly about the constitutional ramifications of Covid19 and the growing concern about the erosi...

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Funny story: Billboard Top 10 Music Chart - Sponsored By The Coronavirus

Billboard Top 10 Music Chart - Sponsored By The Coronavirus

The Coronavirus, COVID-19, that all-pervading nuisance that has entered into every facet of worldwide society on an unprecedented scale, has even left its indelible mark on, of all things, music. As the music-loving sector of the general public st...

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Funny story: McDonalds To Close All 2,700 Restaurants in China

McDonalds To Close All 2,700 Restaurants in China

CHICAGO – The McDonalds Corporation has just announced a decision that will not only resonate throughout China, but throughout San Francisco as well. After several power meetings, McDonalds has decided to close all of its restaurants in China.

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Funny story: Joe Biden Selects New York Governor Andrew Cuomo For His Vice President

Joe Biden Selects New York Governor Andrew Cuomo For His Vice President

Women around the country are protesting Joe Biden’s selection of Mario Cuomo’s son Andrew as his vice president. Women are upset, furious, taking out their pink vagina hats, putting them on, carrying placards and marching in cities across the nation.

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Funny story: Spoof Points Now Redeemable In Stores

Spoof Points Now Redeemable In Stores

There was a great amount of excitement from a small amount of people earlier this evening, when it was announced on satirical news website, TheSpoof.com, that the points writers are awarded for writing stories will soon be redeemable for cash values...

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Funny story: Wuhan Property Prices Take A Dive

Wuhan Property Prices Take A Dive

It's been a difficult four months for the Chinese city of Wuhan, the center of the Coronavirus outbreak, and every area of business has suffered, including the property market, where prices of houses, condominiums, apartments, and hovels have all tak...

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Funny story: Human resources department institutes epic ass-covering measures in response to pandemic

Human resources department institutes epic ass-covering measures in response to pandemic

Essential worker, Ben, was slightly taken aback one morning when he attempted to log on to his work computer and was greeted with a series of statements with which he had to agree before completing log-in. “It said things like, 'I’ve not had a fev...

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Funny story: Clap Or Die

Clap Or Die

As the “Clap For Carers” movement gathers pace around the country, many hardcore Brexiteers are worried that it doesn’t go far enough, and are calling on the government to step in and enforce it on those who aren't joining in. Every Thursday even...

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Funny story: Trump Family To Go Into Facemask Production

Trump Family To Go Into Facemask Production

The Coronavirus, and the new threat of an even more damaging and deadly 'second wave', has given impetus to an idea that has been fomenting in President Donald Trump's ingenious mind for the past few weeks now - facemask production. Never one to l...

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Funny story: Obscure mad scientist recognised at last

Obscure mad scientist recognised at last

Evolutionary scientist Geoff Murd has finally been recognised with a blue plaque for his work in genetics in the 1920s. Long after Lamarckian evolution had been disproven, Murd decided to try to prove it was actually true by a series of extraordinari...

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Funny story: CDC Explains that Flattened Curve Has Become Line Extending into Infinity Meaning Lockdown Can Never End

CDC Explains that Flattened Curve Has Become Line Extending into Infinity Meaning Lockdown Can Never End

Based on consultations with mathematical experts, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has determined that the successful “flattening of the curve” of coronavirus infections has resulted in a line extending into infinity, meaning that the C…

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Funny story: 140 Trillion Dollar Stimulus Package

140 Trillion Dollar Stimulus Package

$140 trillion is not a misprint. It is 9am, and you heard it here first. Here’s how it occurred. At a hastily-convened 6am meeting, President Trump told his cabinet that he “realized” when he was twittering at 3am, that, for $10 trillion, we could...

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Funny story: Manchester United: Harry Maguire Says Lockdown Should Be Optional

Manchester United: Harry Maguire Says Lockdown Should Be Optional

Seven weeks into the Coronavirus lockdown, and Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, has finally spoken out on the plight of the British public as they writhe and squirm in their homes, fidgeting to get out and into the pubs, shopping centres and...

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Funny story: British Cabinet publicly applauds itself. "NHS are good, but we are something else!" claims Johnson

British Cabinet publicly applauds itself. "NHS are good, but we are something else!" claims Johnson

The Prime Minister and fellow Cabinet ministers staged a first, yesterday. Standing outside their respective London residencies, disgruntled about the lack of acclaim for their unique mismanagement of Covid 19, they vigorously applauded themselves. A...

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Funny story: Donald Trump Diagnosed with ADTD, or Attention Deficit Tweet Disorder

Donald Trump Diagnosed with ADTD, or Attention Deficit Tweet Disorder

Washington, DC—President Donald Trump was admitted to Walter Reed Hospital on Wednesday, and has been diagnosed with ADTD, or Attention Deficit Tweet Disorder, the symptoms of which include an orange, puffy face, a predilection to sit on the toilet a...

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Funny story: Big Erect Cock Is Becoming Flaccid

Big Erect Cock Is Becoming Flaccid

In news that many will find scarcely believable, it's been reported that a change is afoot at Cerne Abbas, the Dorset village where a giant image of a man with a huge cock and balls dominates a chalk hillside - its penis is starting to droop. Init...

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Funny story: CDC Partners with Bayer AG to Disinfect the Woods

CDC Partners with Bayer AG to Disinfect the Woods

Cognizant that months of sheltering in place will have made people especially vulnerable to bacterial hazards, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has partnered with Bayer AG, which acquired what used to be Monsanto in June of 2018, to dis...

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Funny story: Advanced Buddhist Walking Meditation Incorporates Chewing Gum

Advanced Buddhist Walking Meditation Incorporates Chewing Gum

For students comfortable with traditional walking meditation, Nashville meditation center Hurry Up and Sit introduced an advanced version, which also incorporates chewing gum. Like typical walking meditation, walking and chewing gum meditation involv...

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Funny story: Man Sheltered From Thunder And Lightning Under Tree

Man Sheltered From Thunder And Lightning Under Tree

A man who was in the countryside, far from home, when a deluge threatened to soak himself and his family, has revealed he took refuge underneath a tamarind tree - even though this exposed them to the danger of being struck by lightning. Moys Kenwo...

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Funny story: Socialist Presidential Candidate Admits Stock Market Addiction

Socialist Presidential Candidate Admits Stock Market Addiction

Norman Eugene Davidson, ten times candidate for president of the United States on the Socialist Party ticket, admitted today, in an editorial in the Socialist Call, that he has been a closeted stock market enthusiast all his adult life. The Call was…

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Funny story: Blabbermouth Woman Tells Her Neighbour She's "Been Saying This All Along"

Blabbermouth Woman Tells Her Neighbour She's "Been Saying This All Along"

A woman has told her neighbour that, despite all the expert medical Coronavirus advice being despatched on an almost-daily basis to the general public, she doesn't really need it, as it's exactly what she's been saying all along. Janice Frigg, who...

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Funny story: Wendy’s Hamburgers Have Drastically Shrunk in Size

Wendy’s Hamburgers Have Drastically Shrunk in Size

DETROIT – The beef shortage has already caused the price of beef to shoot through the roof. One customer at a Wendy’s in Detroit, ordered the Baconator burger. And when he opened his container box, he noticed that the two meats were both the si...

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Funny story: Tom Brady Talks About His New Tampa Bay Team Mate Rob Gronkowski, Oranges, Hurricanes, and His Political Aspirations

Tom Brady Talks About His New Tampa Bay Team Mate Rob Gronkowski, Oranges, Hurricanes, and His Political Aspirations

TAMPA BAY, Florida – Tom Brady recently spoke with Dottie Bazooka of Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine at his new Tampa Bay mansion, Casa Touchdown. Brady told Miss Bazooka, that he and his sexy, svelte wife, Gisele Bundchen, have totally fallen i...

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Funny story: Hemorrhoids Cases On The Rise, As Folks Sitting Around On Their Arses All Day Long

Hemorrhoids Cases On The Rise, As Folks Sitting Around On Their Arses All Day Long

Hemorrhoids, or 'piles' as they are more lovingly known, are on the increase, it's been claimed, and it's all down to the excessive amount of lounging around people are doing during the lockdown for the deadly Coronavirus. Hemorrhoids - sometimes...

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Funny story: Most Major Airlines Are Now Averaging 7.3 Passengers Per Plane

Most Major Airlines Are Now Averaging 7.3 Passengers Per Plane

CHICAGO – The city known as the Windy City, the Airline Hub, and the Place Where President Abraham Lincoln Was Conceived, has just revealed some disappointing airline facts. Most of the large airlines are reporting that they are averaging 7.3 pass...

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Funny story: Elton John Has Taken Up The Trumpet

Elton John Has Taken Up The Trumpet

Sir Elton John, the Godfather of Glam, the Pontiff of the Piano, and the Royal Blower of the Pink Oboe, has said he has been busy during the current lockdown in respect of the Coronavirus, and has written several new songs employing his new musical l...

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Funny story: Kellyanne Conway Denies That Her and Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany Are Lovers

Kellyanne Conway Denies That Her and Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany Are Lovers

WASHINGTON, D.C. – It appears that ever since Kayleigh McEnany came into the White House picture, Kellyanne Conway has been somewhat delegated to the background. One White House insider added that Conway’s main duties, of late, include getting Big...

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Funny story: Cat Walks In On Man Masturbating

Cat Walks In On Man Masturbating

In an incident in which both parties involved would like to quickly forget, Mike, a black and white 'tuxedo' cat, inadvertently witnessed his owner masturbating in front of his laptop. "It was humiliating," said Duncan Whitehead, Mike's owner,...

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Funny story: Self-Taught Epidemiologist Knows What's Good for America

Self-Taught Epidemiologist Knows What's Good for America

(Torrance, California) The eyes of a nervous and uncertain nation turned towards the West this week, as self-made billionaire, Elon Musk, took to the Internet to express his frustration with his state government’s lockdown orders, to preserve human l...

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Funny story: English Teacher Counted Windows In Condo Across The Road To Alleviate Boredom

English Teacher Counted Windows In Condo Across The Road To Alleviate Boredom

An English teacher at a school in Bangkok has revealed how, during lessons with a particularly difficult and unresponsive young child, he became so thoroughly bored, that he regularly counted the number of windows in the condominium opposite. The...

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Funny story: The NFL Has Decided To Do Away With The Traditional Opening Coin Toss

The NFL Has Decided To Do Away With The Traditional Opening Coin Toss

NEW YORK CITY – The NFL has really been beating the bushes trying to find ways to improve the game, in order to draw back the fans once they get the green light to kick the season off (no pun intended). The NFL Committee on Rules has recommended t...

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Funny story: COVID-19: Man Panicked After Touching His Face

COVID-19: Man Panicked After Touching His Face

A man who is completely au fait with every one of the government's anti-Coronavirus precautions, and strictly adheres to them, had a crisis earlier this afternoon, when he unwittingly and inadvertently touched his own face. This was after touching...

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Funny story: Coronavirus Social Distancing Distance Reduced To 4' 6"

Coronavirus Social Distancing Distance Reduced To 4' 6"

In a surprise move, this afternoon, Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced in the Commons that the distance of 6 feet that had been the lower limit at which people should practise 'social distancing', is to be partially reduced, to 4 feet 6 inches fr...

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Funny story: Liverpool FC Remaining Premier League Fixtures May Be Played On FIFA19

Liverpool FC Remaining Premier League Fixtures May Be Played On FIFA19

The difficult decision about how the Premier League season should come to its conclusion was thrown into further disarray this afternoon, when it was claimed PL executives were giving serious consideration to a suggestion that the critical remaining...

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Funny story: SpaceX Rocket To Wear A Mask

SpaceX Rocket To Wear A Mask

Cape Canaveral: Not that Elon Musk is trying to make a point with Donald Trump, (Who can?), but the Space X rocket launch was postponed, not because of raindrops, but because the rocket is being fixed with a face mask. Thinking people started ask...

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Funny story: The Houston Astros Have Been Invited by President Trump to a Good-Old-Fashioned White House Texas Barbecue

The Houston Astros Have Been Invited by President Trump to a Good-Old-Fashioned White House Texas Barbecue

HOUSTON – The President took time off from his busy Coronavirus schedule to fly down to Texas to meet with his all-time favorite baseball team. POTUS hosted the Houston Astros at the White House last year when they won the World Series. He sai...

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Funny story: Terminator Films To Be Shown Endlessly, So That People Can Get Used To What The Future Is Going To Be Like

Terminator Films To Be Shown Endlessly, So That People Can Get Used To What The Future Is Going To Be Like

In 1984, when the first 'Terminator' film hit the movie screens, audiences marvelled at the creative ingenuity of the production's makers, and their dark conception of what a worse-than-apocalyptic future might look like. A world in chaos, ruled b...

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Funny story: Twitter Fact Check Confirms: Nancy Poozleosi Was Bulgarian Shot Put Champion

Twitter Fact Check Confirms: Nancy Poozleosi Was Bulgarian Shot Put Champion

BILLINGSGATE POST: In the Looking Glass War, either your reflection was distorted, or worse, you were distorted, and a mirror was redundant. The same with the information disseminated by various propaganda sources. Who would have guessed that CNN...

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Funny story: Late-Breaking Progressive News: Sugar Is Bad for You; Government Surveillance Is Necessary to Keep You from Getting Sick; Trump Is Not a Good President.

Late-Breaking Progressive News: Sugar Is Bad for You; Government Surveillance Is Necessary to Keep You from Getting Sick; Trump Is Not a Good President.

Providing a progressive perspective on lifestyle and current events, independent news show Common Nonsense recently broke several revelatory stories, beginning with news that certain studies suggest that sugar might not be very good for you. “Cont...

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Funny story: Table Tennis Bat Used To Be Red, But Just Look At The Fucking State Of It Now!

Table Tennis Bat Used To Be Red, But Just Look At The Fucking State Of It Now!

A man searching through some cardboard boxes of stuff that he had kept from his childhood, earlier today, unearthed his first table tennis bat, and was astonished to find that both the forehand and backhand rubber sections had changed from a beautifu...

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Funny story: A Government Watchdog is Reporting That President Trump Gave Trump Towers a Hefty Federal Bailout Check

A Government Watchdog is Reporting That President Trump Gave Trump Towers a Hefty Federal Bailout Check

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Vox Populi News Agency is reporting that it has uncovered a memo that shows that the Donald Trump-owned Trump Towers was recently given a federal stimulus bailout check. The check (USA #7881803) shows that it was issued on M...

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Funny story: The Trumps Talk About Killing Elephants, Pedophilia, and Crazy Nancy

The Trumps Talk About Killing Elephants, Pedophilia, and Crazy Nancy

President Trump and his two boys had a very rare meeting to discuss politics last Tuesday. The offspring had an alcoholic drink, and the President, a teetotaler, ordered some fried chicken. Trump earlier had a dinner of two Big Macs, fried chicken...

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Funny story: Ex-Cowboy Dez Bryant Says That Jerry Jones Better Pay Dak Prescott or Else Dak Will Vamoose

Ex-Cowboy Dez Bryant Says That Jerry Jones Better Pay Dak Prescott or Else Dak Will Vamoose

DALLAS – Former Dallas wide receiver, and infamous “Bad Boy”, Dez Bryant, has chimed in on the Jerry Jones – Dak Prescott contract controversy. Many sports reporters say that Dez had the worst attitude of any Dallas Cowboy since the team first cam...

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Funny story: A Golfer Shoots 3 Holes-in-One in One Round

A Golfer Shoots 3 Holes-in-One in One Round

KILLARNEY, Ireland - A 69-year-old retired fishing net salesman, named McVey McSweeney, who said he hadn’t played golf in 13 years, accomplished an astonishing feat. “Old Mackie”, as the lads at the Draggin’ Dragon Pub call him, was playing at the...

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Funny story: Joe Biden Says That Tara Sara is an Even Bigger Liar That Old “Grab ‘em By The-You-Know-What” Trump

Joe Biden Says That Tara Sara is an Even Bigger Liar That Old “Grab ‘em By The-You-Know-What” Trump

DOVER, Delaware – Joe Biden said that, if he had a nickel for everytime that someone falsely accused him of being inappropriate, he would probably have over 6,000 nickels. Biden spoke with Tapioca Swizzle of Tittle Tattle Tonight, and commented th...

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Funny story: The Hymie COWVID19 tragedy

The Hymie COWVID19 tragedy

Old McDonald’s White Farm - We knew Hymie was special when we brought him in from the fields that warm September, when we were young and shallow fellows. All of us wanted to be the one chosen to eat him. But I was the one who drew the long st...

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Funny story: Manchester United: Captain Harry Maguire On Premier League Re-Start

Manchester United: Captain Harry Maguire On Premier League Re-Start

With the recommencement of the Premier League season just around the corner, and the news, earlier today, that six players from three PL clubs have tested positive for the Coronavirus, COVID-19, Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, has spoken ou...

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Funny story: Man Tried To Block Out Wedding Music By Playing The Fall At Full Volume

Man Tried To Block Out Wedding Music By Playing The Fall At Full Volume

A man who became incensed after he was forced, yet again, to endure the torture of another Cambodian wedding ceremony close to his home, eventually snapped, and resorted to unconventional measures to block out the loud music coming from the venue.

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Funny story: Foreman Slams Mike Tyson Comeback Bid

Foreman Slams Mike Tyson Comeback Bid

Former world champion heavyweight boxer, Mike Tyson, 53, known as "Iron" Mike Tyson because of his obsession with iron and ironing (he has everything made out of iron in his semi-detached house in Torquay, Devon - even his clothes iron is entirely ma...

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Funny story: Overweight Old Guy Who Paints Himself Orange Worried About How He Looks in a Mask

Overweight Old Guy Who Paints Himself Orange Worried About How He Looks in a Mask

Ypsilanti, Michigan - A recent visitor to the Ford manufacturing facility here was reported to be concerned that being seen in a protective mask, as is required by company and state policy to prevent spread of the coronavirus, might ruin his carefull…

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Funny story: Apple’s Latest Phone, “Mom’s Apple Pie” is Geared Towards the Woman on-the-Go

Apple’s Latest Phone, “Mom’s Apple Pie” is Geared Towards the Woman on-the-Go

NEW YORK CITY – Apple has finally listened to its customers, and will be coming out with a new phone geared to the American woman. The new phone called the “Mom’s Apple Pie” will have the capability of storing over 12 million recipes, 8.3 million...

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Funny story: The Houston Astros Suggest To MLB That The Entire Baseball Season Be Played In Mexico

The Houston Astros Suggest To MLB That The Entire Baseball Season Be Played In Mexico

HOUSTON – Houston Astros team spokespersons, Jose Altuve and Carlos Correa, met with representatives with Major League Baseball, and presented an idea for getting the 2020 baseball season under way. Altuve said that, if something is not done and p...

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Funny story: Man Thought He Might Have Had An Ant In His Underpants

Man Thought He Might Have Had An Ant In His Underpants

A man who had severely itchy knackers, this morning, thought he might have had an ant in his underpants. The man, who spoke to me on condition of anonymity, said that he had been sat in the kitchen doorway of his home, talking to his wife, who was...

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Funny story: A nice day out at the castle

A nice day out at the castle

After the Prime Minister's guru had declared driving to be the way of testing eyesight, thousands have set out on trips up and down the motorways and country lanes of Britain, to ascertain their quality of vision. "Best if you test it from all sid...

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Funny story: Wife Doesn't Know How Husband Is Going To Pay Off Her Credit Card Debt

Wife Doesn't Know How Husband Is Going To Pay Off Her Credit Card Debt

Gissell Whitehead, age unknown, confided to reporters, late Friday, that she has no idea how her husband, Duncan, is supposed to earn enough money to pay off her $25,000 credit card debt. "I have gone through his bank statements, royalties, divide...

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Funny story: Man's grudges only growing more and more dangerous

Man's grudges only growing more and more dangerous

Having recently escaped from Ikea, ladies man, Brian Asshat, has revealed that the many grudges he already has have been growing during the lockdown. 'Let's look at the people I dislike. Hilary from the library, Tom Johnson from down the street, B…

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Funny story: Trump's PC hacked

Trump's PC hacked

Well-known hacker group, Anonymous, today revealed they had beaten White House cyber security defences, and had taken a copy of Donald Trump"s personal computer. The computer's contents were later published on the internet. The unusually sparse P...

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Funny story: COVID-19: Man Insisting That He Will 'Die Looking Good'

COVID-19: Man Insisting That He Will 'Die Looking Good'

A man who will almost certainly 'bite the dust' when the Coronavirus eventually gets around to visiting him, has said that, rather than fight a useless battle, he will go willingly, but will go 'looking good'. Moys Kenwood, 56, is in the wrong age...

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Funny story: UNMASKED: Biden Phone Calls To Cannabis Store Revealed

UNMASKED: Biden Phone Calls To Cannabis Store Revealed

BILLINGSGATE POST: In an exclusive to the BILLINGSGATE POST, it was revealed today that the CIA, FBI, NSA, The National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency and the Defense Intelligence Agency, all had been monitoring Joe Biden’s phone calls from the base...

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Funny story: Tour De France Will Not Be Held 'Behind Closed Doors'

Tour De France Will Not Be Held 'Behind Closed Doors'

The Coronavirus may well have brought an abrupt end to most of the worldwide sporting programme, but the exotically-named French minister for sport, Roxana Maracineanu, has said that the 2020 Tour de France will not be held 'behind closed doors'.

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Funny story: Joe Biden Convincingly Denies Remembering Sexually Assaulting Former Staffer Tara Reade

Joe Biden Convincingly Denies Remembering Sexually Assaulting Former Staffer Tara Reade

Breaking a month-long silence, presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden formally addressed allegations that he sexually assaulted former Senate aide, Tara Reade, in 1993, convincingly denying that he had any memory of pinning Reade again...

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Funny story: Kim Kardashian Reveals Details About Her Private White House Visit with President Trump

Kim Kardashian Reveals Details About Her Private White House Visit with President Trump

HOLLYWOOD – Kim Kardashian recently told iRumors reporter Vodka Vermicelli, that she can no longer keep a secret regarding the man who lives at 1900 Pennsylvania Avenue. Kardashian had gone to the White House to see about getting Kanye (West) a si...

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Funny story: Man Feels Reading Some Of The Stories On The Spoof Is A Bit Like Chinese Water Torture

Man Feels Reading Some Of The Stories On The Spoof Is A Bit Like Chinese Water Torture

A man who is a frequent visitor to the satirical online news website, TheSpoof.com, has said that, despite being a big fan of the site in the past, reading current material reminds him of what Chinese Water Torture must be like. The man, who can't...

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Funny story: Jamal Khashoggi Died From Coronavirus - Saudi Arabia

Jamal Khashoggi Died From Coronavirus - Saudi Arabia

After more than 18 months of maintaining that they had nothing to do with the death of The Washington Post journalist, Jamal Khashoggi, the government of Saudi Arabia are claiming that he was the first known victim of the Coronavirus, COVID-19. Mr...

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Funny story: Part II: Trump, Conway, Conway, and a Lecture on Truth

Part II: Trump, Conway, Conway, and a Lecture on Truth

In the first part of this piece, I discussed a possible Democratic response to a Republican narrative that asserts that, unlike “Grabby Joe Biden”, Donald Trump has not been accused of sexual misconduct while in public office. The Democratic counter...

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Funny story: Jilted John Single Out On May 22

Jilted John Single Out On May 22

Jilted John, the man who ruled the music world with his 1978 hit single, 'Jilted John', through which he relentlessly told listeners "Gordon is a moron", has the song re-released on May 22 - the artist's 61st birthday - with slightly different lyric...

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Funny story: Trump May Be Afraid To Debate Biden

Trump May Be Afraid To Debate Biden

Donald Trump’s bone spurs have reappeared, at least according to Trump’s close friend, Dr. Pierson Stab. The bone spurs kept Trump from being drafted and sent to fight in the Vietnam War. The debilitating nature of the spurs of a then-athletic twenty...

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Funny story: Donald Trump To Be Used As White House Toilet Brush From November

Donald Trump To Be Used As White House Toilet Brush From November

Leading Democratic Party politicians are saying that President Donald Trump is so incompetent, that, after he loses the election this November, they plan to keep him on at the White House in a newly-created role as a Human Toilet Brush. Trump has...

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Funny story: Maria Sharapova, One of the Sexiest Female Athletes Ever, is Coming Out of Retirement

Maria Sharapova, One of the Sexiest Female Athletes Ever, is Coming Out of Retirement

CHICAGO – Maria Sharapova, who has 36 career tennis titles under her belt, plus all kinds of world records, has said that she is planning on losing about two pounds, and returning to the court. The 6-foot 2-inch Russian beauty says that she has re...

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Funny story: Lionel Richie Told It Wasn't Him You Were Looking For

Lionel Richie Told It Wasn't Him You Were Looking For

Lionel Richie, the American Idol judge and former chart-topping soul singer who had a number 1 hit single with 'Hello' back in 1983, has received formal notification that the person to whom the song was being sung, was not looking for him. Richie,...

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Funny story: Trump Announces Tremendous Hope For Coronavirus Cure

Trump Announces Tremendous Hope For Coronavirus Cure

US President Donald Trump raised the hopes of US citizens yet again, yesterday, with what he called "tremendous positive news" about research into a cure for the deadly coronavirus. "We've been looking at the moon", he told reporters at yesterday'...

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Funny story: Biden says boiled baby remark too salty for his taste

Biden says boiled baby remark too salty for his taste

Presidential nominee-to-be Joe Biden has responded to a columnist's devotion to him over all other candidates, particularly Donald Trump. The Nation's Katha Pollitt recently stated she would support Biden “if he boiled babies and ate them.” Thi...

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Funny story: Trump to shut down TheSpoof website

Trump to shut down TheSpoof website

Obscure satire website TheSpoof has caught the attention of the US President, after somebody forwarded him a tweet about a number of stories featured on the usually barely-visible site which hides in the dustiest corners of the internet. Most of t...

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Funny story: A Hooters Girl in Houston Claims That President Trump Fathered Her Twins

A Hooters Girl in Houston Claims That President Trump Fathered Her Twins

HOUSTON – As if Trump doesn’t have enough things to worry his big old orange head about, now comes this double-barreled revelation. A gorgeously sexy Hooters girl named Tiffany Deutschendorf, 28, is reportedly alleging that the president is the fa...

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Funny story: Coronavirus: Things We Should Expect To Happen Next

Coronavirus: Things We Should Expect To Happen Next

The Coronavirus, COVID-19, is said to have surfaced in Wuhan, China, in January this year, but French scientists claim that patients on whom they ran tests in November 2019, were already carrying the virus. So far, we know very little about it as...

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Funny story: The FBI is Investigating President Trump and Vice-President Pence for Not Wearing Medical Masks

The FBI is Investigating President Trump and Vice-President Pence for Not Wearing Medical Masks

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Chicago Daily Wind newspaper is reporting that the Federal Bureau of Investigation, has issued a statement reminding Trump and Pence (the modern day Laurel & Hardy) that they are not above the law. The Daily Wind noted t...

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Funny story: Nancy Pelosi Reveals That Donald Trump Hit on Her in 1993

Nancy Pelosi Reveals That Donald Trump Hit on Her in 1993

WASHINGTON, D.C. – There is something that only a few individuals who know Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi are aware of. Pelosi revealed to CNN’s Don Lemon that Donald Trump hit on her back in September of 1993. The 80-year-old Pelosi, with...

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Funny story: Kim Jong-un is Shipping an Inter-Continental Ballistic Missile To Puerto Rico

Kim Jong-un is Shipping an Inter-Continental Ballistic Missile To Puerto Rico

PYONGYANG, North Korea – The Supreme Leader of the supreme country of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, told the Korean News Agency that he will be shipping a brand new missile to Puerto Rico. The Kimster said that the missile is still in the box, and it...

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Funny story: Evil Force Travels From Trump's Ass To His Brain

Evil Force Travels From Trump's Ass To His Brain

When we look back to the time before 2016, we find ourselves living in a world of events, which would have been inconceivable before the inauguration of Trump. Obama, whatever his faults, was a rational man who pursued intelligent policies. He was p...

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Funny story: Sheep Object to Being Lumped in with Blindly-Following Americans

Sheep Object to Being Lumped in with Blindly-Following Americans

With some derogatorily categorizing the swathes of Americans paralyzed in blind, terrified acceptance of whatever the mainstream media tells them regarding the threat posed by COVID-19 as "sheeple," actual sheep are objecting to being lumped in with...

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Funny story: McDonalds To Open In White House Grounds

McDonalds To Open In White House Grounds

In news that will be, to people all over the US, somewhat unbelievable, it's been announced that McDonalds, the world's most popular fast food chain, and personal favorite of President Donald Trump, has been given the go-ahead to set up an outlet in...

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Funny story: President Trump Bans Chinese Fortune Cookies in The White House

President Trump Bans Chinese Fortune Cookies in The White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A reliable White House source has said that the President is very upset with Chinese leader Xi Jinping. It seems that POTUS has placed the total blame for the Coronavirus on a supermarket Chinese checker, and the Chinese leader...

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Funny story: 1980's Rock Group "The Knack" Make Come Back with Remake of My Sharona as My Corona

1980's Rock Group "The Knack" Make Come Back with Remake of My Sharona as My Corona

Mega rock stars of the late 1970s and early 80s, The Knack, are back! Best known for their smash hit, My Sharona, the British rockers are sitting on top of the charts with an updated remake of My Sharona called My Corona. Using the same music with...

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Funny story: Trump sings Chinese National Anthem in major diplomatic row

Trump sings Chinese National Anthem in major diplomatic row

A major diplomatic row has blown up between the Unites States and China as a result of a version of the Chinese National Anthem sung by President Donald Trump today in Washington DC. Trump decided to sing the English language version of the anthe...

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Funny story: Long Dead Spoof Editor Returns Sparking Debate: Was He Ever Really Born?

Long Dead Spoof Editor Returns Sparking Debate: Was He Ever Really Born?

"Mark Lowton has nine lives times two," said Monkey Woods, the Spoofs blind editing prodigy, "Many's the time we have pronounced him dead and or missing, only to find out he wasn't at all, we'd simply covered him up with the laundry." "I don't bel...

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Funny story: Jared Kushner Secures Bargain Buy on 500 Million Use N 95 Masks

Jared Kushner Secures Bargain Buy on 500 Million Use N 95 Masks

Jared "The Cush" Kushner has worked out a deal with several Trump trading partners to secure N95 masks that would have "just been heading to the incinerator". "Absolutely no reason to waste these perfectly good masks," said Kushner, "It's just am...

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Funny story: President Trump Has Just Stepped on Beyonce’s Toes

President Trump Has Just Stepped on Beyonce’s Toes

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The president may have just done gone and stepped smack dab in a pile of horse droppings, as they say down in Fort Worth. Trump was asked by a reporter with Afro Sheen Magazine about his son Barron’s name and how unusual it was.

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Funny story: Insightful Therapist Probes Client's Childhood Memories for Source of Her Neurotic Aversion to Government Surveillance

Insightful Therapist Probes Client's Childhood Memories for Source of Her Neurotic Aversion to Government Surveillance

“Did you have a major privacy violation as a child or teenager, like maybe someone sneaking into your room and reading your diary?” asked therapist Christina Carter, probing for the source of her client’s expressed reservations about the prospect of...

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Funny story: Northern Colluder is Favored to Win The Kentucky Derby

Northern Colluder is Favored to Win The Kentucky Derby

LAS VEGAS – The Gambling Capital of the World has reported that they have chosen the horse who they feel will win the 146th running of the Kentucky Derby. Northern Colluder, owned by Saudi Arabian Prince Sim San Kashobi, who owns most of the Karma...

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Funny story: Boy Blew Trumpet Endlessly

Boy Blew Trumpet Endlessly

In a bizarre turn of events earlier today, it's been reported that a boy armed with a plastic trumpet blew on it so hard, and for so long, that a man who lived opposite the little bastard felt like going across the road and ramming down his throat.

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Funny story: Melania Catches Eric Trump Snapping Photos of Her as She Sat out by The Pool In Her Blue "Be Best" Bikini Swimsuit

Melania Catches Eric Trump Snapping Photos of Her as She Sat out by The Pool In Her Blue "Be Best" Bikini Swimsuit

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The temperatures hit the 90s, and the First Lady decided to put on her blue "Be Best" bikini swimsuit, and work on her suntan. Melania was sipping on a Diet 7-Up, and eating honey-roasted peanuts, as she lounged by the Olympic-s...

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Funny story: Man Fulfils Lifetime Ambition While Working From Home

Man Fulfils Lifetime Ambition While Working From Home

The coronavirus lockdown has been a huge challenge worldwide, and the United Kingdom - and the Isle of Wight in particular - has been no exception. But there are silver linings inside these COVID Clouds. The UK is currently celebrating Brexit i...

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Funny story: Men In White Suits Seen At White House

Men In White Suits Seen At White House

It may mean nothing at all whatsoever, but Washington, DC tongues have been set a-wagging in the capitol after a vanload of men in white suits turned up unannounced at 1600 Pensylvania Avenue, and were shown inside by what looked like Secret Service...

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Funny story: Aardvark Trampoline in development

Aardvark Trampoline in development

Scientists in Little Big Toe, Arkansas, have been busy during lockdown developing a new fun form of the trampoline for Aardvarks. 'It is not really for aardvarks ' said lead scientist, Brick Underlay, 'it is for all animals, but we felt that, in t…

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Funny story: Pope Authorizes Social Distance Baptisms Using Water Pistols

Pope Authorizes Social Distance Baptisms Using Water Pistols

"Over our 2,000-year history, the Church has always adjusted," said Pope Francis, as he announced a major change in baptisms rituals and canonical law to reflect the coronavirus situation. According to the New Testament, Jesus of Nazareth was submer...

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Funny story: How To Cope Under Lockdown, with Charles "Turnip" Townshend

How To Cope Under Lockdown, with Charles "Turnip" Townshend

Charles Townshend, 2nd Viscount Townshend, in full Charles Townshend, 2nd Viscount Townshend of Raynham, (born April 18, 1675, Raynham Hall, Norfolk, England—died June 21, 1738, Raynham), Whig statesman who directed British foreign policy from 1721 t...

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Funny story: Sweden to Be Extradited to United States for Violating American COVID-19 Guidelines

Sweden to Be Extradited to United States for Violating American COVID-19 Guidelines

The United States is taking steps to extradite the country of Sweden, which declined to impose a nationwide lockdown in response to the coronavirus pandemic and, instead, encouraged citizens to practice good judgment and limit contact with vulnerable...

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