Sun thinking about what trouble it can cause this weekend

Written by Ben Macnair

Friday, 26 June 2020

image for Sun thinking about what trouble it can cause this weekend
Oh Gary and Val, we told you all this year's ago.

Earth's Sun, 93 million-year-old small star, Gary Williamson, is thinking about all of the problems that he can cause for the people of one of his small planets, Earth.

The troublesome ball of fire tells us: 'There I am in space, spinning at thousands of mile an hour, whilst you lot circle around me, and I thought "what kind of trouble shall I cause?", but then I realise that, due to space and the distance from Earth, any problems I might like to make won't be felt for years, so I can only apologise for what I did three years ago, for you to be seeing the light and the heat.'

Moon, Valerie Johnson, piped up: 'I also have the same problem, but, other than having some pull on the tides and making some random people sprout too much bodily hair, I can't do too much, sadly.'

Like most people in the fields of politics and entertainment, Williamson and Johnson have put out a statement on their Instagram ages.

They are too late to do anything about some predicted riots and misbehaviour this evening, but some threatening rain clouds have promised to do what they can about the situation.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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