The NFL In Order To Attract More Members of The LGBTQ Community Will Begin Using Rainbow Colored Footballs

Written by Fannin Fabriano

Thursday, 25 June 2020

image for The NFL In Order To Attract More Members of The LGBTQ Community Will Begin Using Rainbow Colored Footballs
The owner of the Washington Redskins wants to take the regulation NFL footballs and give them a rainbow color-scheme.

NEW YORK CITY – The powers-that-be in the NFL recently met in the Big Apple, and discussed what they can do to attract more fans to their games.

Everyone agreed that, for one thing, they needed to do away with the kickoff, which is the most boring thing since Trump’s show “The Apprentice”.

One owner suggested that the cheerleaders wear pasties, in order to attract the younger males. He said that the older guys are mostly leg men.

Another owner suggested that the ritual of throwing the contents of the Gatorade drinking container on the winning coach should be discontinued.

He pointed out that every fan has seen that stupid act at least 114 times, if not more.

The owner of the Washington Redskins, who is the most hated owner in the league, Daniel Synder, commented that in order to draw in more members of the LGBTQ community, the footballs should be painted in the colors of the rainbow.

He also suggested that along with beer, the concession stands should also sell Shirley Temples, Mango Margaritas, and Papaya Daiquiris.

Snyder was asked if he is planning on changing the extremely racist name of his Washington Redskins team.

He angrily replied that President Donald Trump will go a full 24 hours without telling one single effen lie before that happens.

In other words…NEVER!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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