It's been revealed that a writer on the satirical news and parody website, The Spoof, is planning to make a killing at Christmastime by releasing a compilation, in book form and online, of his greatest and most well-loved stories - but there's been a problem.
Les Johnson, alternatively known as Jaggedone, 71, dreamt up the scheme recently, as he crouched in the space he occupies with his long-suffering wife, underneath a bridge in Amsterdam.
Johnson left The Spoof in 2019, in acromonious circumstances and after a long-running series of disagreements with the site's owner, Mark Lowton.
Now, however, the nutty Johnson has plans to reach a wider audience with his 'Greatest Hits' compilation. But, he said:
"I can't download my legal property. The 'Download' button isn't working. Where's Mark?"
He added:
"I need them this year!"
Johnson, who is the uncle of the British Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, had already tried to contact Mr. Lowton, but had had, he raged:
"zilch reaction!"
Eventually, the insane individual was advised to:
"Copy and paste!" three times.
He took this well.
Included in the book will be the tale of how Jaggedone single-handedly saved The Spoof from extinction during dark, argumentative days when 'countless' purveyors of nonsense scribbling decided the pressures of abusing each other on a website forum was too much for them to endure, and left.
The book will be in shops by November, but not necessarily this November.