It's been revealed that a writer on the satirical news and parody website, The Spoof, is planning to make a killing at Christmastime by releasing a compilation, in book form and online, of his greatest and most well-loved stories - but there's been a problem.
Les Johnson, alternatively known as Jaggedone, 71, dreamt up the scheme recently, as he crouched in the space he occupies with his long-suffering wife, underneath a bridge in Amsterdam.
Johnson left The Spoof in 2019, in acromonious circumstances and after a long-running series of disagreements with the site's owner, Mark Lowton.
Now, however, the nutty Johnson has plans to reach a wider audience with his 'Greatest Hits' compilation. But, he said:
"I can't download my legal property. The 'Download' button isn't working. Where's Mark?"
"I need them this year!"
Johnson, who is the uncle of the British Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, had already tried to contact Mr. Lowton, but had had, he raged:
Eventually, the insane individual was advised to:
"Copy and paste!" three times.
He took this well.
Included in the book will be the tale of how Jaggedone single-handedly saved The Spoof from extinction during dark, argumentative days when 'countless' purveyors of nonsense scribbling decided the pressures of abusing each other on a website forum was too much for them to endure, and left.
The book will be in shops by November, but not necessarily this November.