WTF! Roy Rogers’ Horse “Trigger” Toppled By Masked Men

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Wednesday, 24 June 2020

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Trigger

BILLINGSGATE POST: First it was Confederate generals. Next it was Christopher Columbus and Junipero Serra. Revisionist wackos are now talking about nuking Mount Rushmore, where the busts of Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt were carved out of the mountain.

That was all taken with a grain of salt. But when they went to Branson, Missouri, and tipped over Trigger, perhaps it was a step too far.

Trigger’s original name was Golden Cloud. He was born on a ranch in San Diego, California in either 1932 or 1934. Roy Rogers changed the horse's name to Trigger in 1938 for their first movie together, “Under Western Stars”.

When Trigger died, in 1965, his hide was mounted over a plaster cast of a rearing horse. The mounting was done by Billingsgate Taxidermy. Dr. Billingsgate, who earned his Ph.D in Taxidermy under the tutelage of Hannibal Lecter, received the Golden Stuffing Award for his work.

For years, Trigger was visited by his many fans in a museum in Victorville, California. Many were overwhelmed by how life-like he appeared. Some even tried to feed him oats, surprised that he didn’t munch them from their outstretched hands.

After the deaths of Roy Roger and Dale Evans, he was moved to Branson, Missouri, where he was sold at auction in 2010. Trigger went for $266,500 to a local cable TV company, where he has been displayed for the last ten years in their lobby.

Yesterday, he was unceremoniously lassoed and toppled by three masked men.

Who were those masked men?

Slim: “Hi Ho, Silver! Away!”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. He’s the next to go.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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