Local Man Says He Hates His Black Neighbours

Funny story written by Dewani Unhatched

Monday, 29 June 2020

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The Blacks earlier

Local man Dougie Grimes has admitted today that he hates his new neighbours, and has no remorse for posting on social media about his feelings towards Blacks.

"Every one of them is a good-for-nothing, lazy-ass turd. They play their music all night, park their cars on the lawn, and, if I am going to be perfectly honest, they are probably doing AND selling drugs, involved in all the crime around here and, if that's not enough, have probably reduced the value of my house by at least 20%. I detest them. They are all the same. Worthless."

Grimes' comments have also been echoed by others in the neighborhood, who are demanding police take action.

"Since them Blacks moved in, it has all gone to shit. They aren't human. Scum!" declared resident, Sam Horton.

Not everyone though has bad things to say.

"I quite like them," said Fanny Mulder. "Yes, they are different, but you would expect that wouldn't you? They aren't from here, so I guess it is a custom thing. No, I don't mind them Blacks at all."

This reporter tried to speak to Owen and Cerys Black, as well as their children, Afron and Adrien, about their neighbors' comments, but, unfortunately, it was virtually impossible to understand their broad Welsh accents.

*For American Readers: So, just so you know, they weren't black-skinned, their surname was Black all along! There is nothing racist about this article. Yes, they were causing annoyance and they were making noise and smoking drugs and also committing crime, but not because of the color of their skin. They're just Welsh cunts.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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