Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Spoken To By Police In Connection With Fan Abduction Incident

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 29 June 2020

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Maguire, wondering why spoof writers won't leave him alone

Police in Norfolk have said they have spoken to the Manchester United captain and England defender, Harry Maguire, about an incident in which they say a fan was abducted outside Carrow Road after the FA Cup quarter-final tie between Norwich and United on Saturday.

United won the match 2-1, but Canaries fans - including Chairman Delia Smith - stayed behind to hurl abuse at the United players as they boarded their coach.

One fan, say police, was dragged aboard the coach, and bundled to the back of it, as the driver sped away from the stadium to avoid a hail of missiles being thrown by angry Norwich supporters.

The fan, who has not been named, was made to join in with songs being sung by the triumphant United team as the coach snaked its way out of Norwich, and along the A47. He was eventually dropped off outside Swaffham, 28 miles away, minus his trousers.

Later, police admitted that they had made a mistake, and that none of the above had happened, apart from the 2-1 win.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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