Welsh Government relaxes lockdown rules on sheep shagging

Written by Cleopatra Chaos

Friday, 19 June 2020

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Welsh brothel

In a welcome move for farmers across Wales, the Cardiff devolved government has announced it is relaxing its Coronavirus lockdown rules on outdoor exercise. This means that the people of Wales can do what they like outdoors once again.

Daffid Wiggley, a farmer in the southern vale village of Pfuckyoubloodylloegers, said, “I’m really excited by the news. I’ve read lots of books online and watched lots of Netflix movies. I spoke to my friends on Skype but I really missed the sheep shagging. I thought about it a lot and decided that sacrifices had to be made, you know, for the sake of the community. But I missed it, I did. Now I can pull my wellies on, go into my field, milk my cow, and get back to pfornicating with my sheep.”

Sheep shagging is the third most popular pastime in Wales, next to rugby and choral singing, and is particularly popular in the countryside, because all Welsh women live in Cardiff and Newport, leaving large swathes of rural land with nobody to pfuck but a sheep.

A spokesman for the Welsh government said “We’d like to make it clear that the Welsh Government does not support sheep shagging or cruel stereotypes of lonely Welsh farmers.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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