Native American Indian With Dynamite Arrested At Mount Rushmore

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 26 June 2020

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Mount Rushmore today - but for how much longer?

It's been announced in the last few minutes, that police in the Black Hills have apprehended and arrested a man carrying a quantity of dynamite in the area of Mount Rushmore.

The man was said by witnesses to be a Native American indian, and looked about 150 years old.

Mount Rushmore, located in the Black Hills in Keystone, South Dakota, is known worldwide for the likenesses of former US presidents, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln, which were carved into its granite face by sculptor, Gutzon Borglum.

The land at Mount Rushmore had originally been granted to the Lakota people by The Treaty of Fort Laramie in 1868, but, after the Great Sioux War, the US reneged on this, and took back the land, in 1876.

The carvings were made between 1927 and 1941, but in 1971, a Lakota preacher, John Fire Lame Deer placed a prayer staff on the mountain, saying that it represented a 'symbolic shroud' over the presidents' faces:

"which shall remain dirty until the treaties concerning the Black Hills are fulfilled."

Early indications are that the man with the dynamite may have been trying to bring about the fulfillment of the Treaty of Laramie today. Police say he was carrying enough dynamite to "significantly change the landscape".

Representatives of the Black Lives Matter organization raised their eyebrows in an interested way after hearing the news.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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