[UPDATE WRITE-THROUGH]
Joe from his basement explains the real reason he sits backwards on the toilette:
“It was Cornpop. He made me do it. He chained me there, with my pool chain. He used to shave all the hair off my legs and he liked to rub them and..”
At this point the live feed from Joe’s basement went blank and a Corona Beer commercial came on.
Oakland, CA - Miss Buttercups Beauty Contest
Joe Bidet, formerly known as Joe Biden, announced today to a large gathering of twelve people, including one reporter, that he sits on the toilet backwards.
“Yea.. I just.. I wanna.. you know? I thought.. My daddy .. I make my lunch in the bowl.. it’s a salad bowel.. you know.. I just wanna.
“Call me Joe Bidet. I sit in the bidet.. you know.. 'cause when I sit on the toilet to eat lunch, the poop lands on the floor.. everybody does it.. every bidet.. call me Joe Bidet..
“Where’s the mens room?”
Silence gripped the room. Nobody dared answer.