Two masked anti-heroes marched into a sweet shop yesterday, dressed as Batman and Robin, and threatened the owner, a 75-year-old female pensioner dressed as Catwoman, with a plastic knife, if she didn't hand over all the bubble gum in the shop!
Luckily, she called her husband, a 78-year-old pensioner, wearing a masked Spiderman outfit, who was busy in the backroom reading a porn mag purchased from under the shelf at a stationery shop, two shops down the road. Wearing a masked outfit can be advantageous if one wishes to remain anonymous.
He rushed into the shop, and, seeing Batman and Robin waving a plastic knife at his wife - or Catwoman - with a feline mask on, ordered the devious pair to stay behind the 2.5 meter social distancing line marked out before Prime Minister Boris Johnson changed the rules again and again. This, they did!
Outside, a passing local woman dressed in her usual attire of a burka, saw what was happening in her local sweet shop, and across the road, coincidentally, was a parked police panda car with two cops wearing Ninja Turtle outfits, plus their obligatory Ninja masks, eating a bag of fish and chips wrapped in The Daily Star. She rushed over and told them about the incident in the sweet shop. They, in turn, dropped their cod, rushed into the shop, and arrested Batman and Robin with their plastic knives.
The 'deadly duo', actually local 11-year-old yobbos, were bundled into the panda. The Ninja Turtles asked them if they were white or black. Batman answered, "white." Robin too. They were then released and told to "shove off!", otherwise they would get a flick around their bat-ears.
Catwoman and Spiderman were being cared for by the woman in the burka as the police/Ninja Turtles returned, and all decided wearing their masks was quite a farce, except for the female hero dressed in her burka!