Biden calls for mandatory mask-wearing; almost gets himself tested with a GX-2009 Portable Multi-Gas Detector

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Sunday, 28 June 2020

image for Biden calls for mandatory mask-wearing; almost gets himself tested with a GX-2009 Portable Multi-Gas Detector
Mr. Biden is also reported considering this type of mask as mandatory

Yesterday in an interview with a major news network, Mr. Biden confirmed he is an advocate of mask-wearing, and he will make it mandatory, when president.

He stood eight feet away from the anchor at his news desk, both wearing masks, Mr. Biden backed by a row of American flags and other insignia.

During the interview Mr. Biden removed his mask for approximately 10 seconds when answering a question as to whether he'd wear a mask when being sworn in as president.

The answer was a clear no.

Observers noted Mr. Biden adjusted his mask several times during the five minute interview.

The quick tug on the bottom of a mask allows temporary relief from shortness of breath and heat from mask-wearing.

The question remains however: how many microscopic virus particles escape at such moments?

How many escaped Mr. Biden at that moment of mask-dropping, afflicting air space in that studio?

And should he indeed definitely wear a mask at his inauguration?

He states “social distancing” will suffice on that occasion.

However, is not caution the better part of error--the current philosophy for distancing and mask regulations?

Mr. Biden's not wearing a mask at inauguration could be extremely hazard-creating--given the number of people attending and their vulnerability.


Subsequent to his interview, Mr. Biden was privately asked if he would allow a test of his mask-wearing, utilizing a GX-2009 Portable Multi-Gas Detector.

This instrument can be placed inside a mask. It measures safe levels of oxygen versus unsafe levels due to oxygen deprivation.

This detector was first illustrated by Representative Nino Vitale of Ohio via a number of students. Very quickly with Detector inserted under a mask, a beeping alarm sound is triggered.

Next, a source (who must remain anonymous) asked Mr. Biden to examine illustrations of this instrument.

Mr. Biden complied, As with Representative Vitale's example, they met in a field with abundant fresh air, surrounded by fields and foliage.

A mix of boys and girls put the Detector up inside their masks and within a second or two triggered the alarm.

Should we have a rethinking on students required to wear masks all day long, with school re-opening this fall?

Mr. Biden's eyes appeared to be smiling as usual. His mask however prevented exact reporting on this facial feature.

Asked to give the Detector a try, Candidate Biden at first declined, because the instrument had not been cleansed properly.

A young female student stepped forward, cleaned it, and proffered it to the Vice-President.

He took it, dropped it, backed away from it, and made his final remark before what appeared a hasty exit.

“Okay, I'll look into this, all right? I'll get with Dr. Fauci and the WHO people right away!”

He fled.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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