A man who was absolutely famished and looking forward to sitting down to a plate of fish and chips for his tea last night, was disappointed to learn that, unfortunately, fish wasn't on the menu, due to his wife having arrived at the market too late.
Moys Kenwood, 57, who enjoys nothing better than a plate of fish, chips, and mushy peas, saturated in vinegar, with a liberal sprinkling of salt, accompanied by two slices of brown bread and butter, and washed down with a strong cup of tea, usually does without all but the fish, chips and tea, but was crestfallen when he learnt from his wife that:
"It's egg on toast!"
An investigation followed, and it was discovered that Mrs. Kenwood had seen a friend and "stopped to chat, as you do", which meant she got to the market after the last of the fish had been sold.
There were still eggs, however.
The unhappy diner calmly took this in his stride, as he mused:
"Fucking egg on toast! For me tea! I ask you!"