There were 196 spoof news stories published in September 2021. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
President Biden Says That Donald Trump Will Be Wearing An Orange Prison Jumpsuit By Christmas
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – President Biden was recently asked what he really thinks about the man who lived in the White House right before him. Can you be more specific? he asked. Yes sir, the Racist-in-Chief, came the reply. Oh, ok…
Read full storyToyota Develops The New Military Tank Cycle
SAN ANTONIO – (Satire News) – The Toyota Corporation has just developed the new, state-of-the-art military Patton 17 Tank Cycle X. The new military war machine was tested out recently in Iran against Isis soldiers who ran for the hills (or rather…
Read full storyThree Men Arrested For Molesting Three Giant Goldfish
WOODPECKER BAY, Florida – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News has revealed that three fishermen from Georgia have been arrested by members of the Woodpecker Bay Police Department. The three individuals, who work for the Diddling Dixie Sheetrock Company…
Read full storyThat book could have been a bit shorter, say book group
Members of Chutney on the Fritz's book club, which meets at the Hipster and Farrow pub in Grange Lane, have all said that their latest choice 'How to do something to some people and get away with it' could have been a bit shorter. Former teacher,…
Read full storyWoman has the birdie song as an ear-worm
Penny Farthing, a 39-year-old woman about town has told people that she currently has The Birdie Song as an earworm. 'I had a really bad fever dream last night, remembering a family wedding, and seeing Uncle Derek dancing to the Birdie Song, and n…
Read full storyGerman Loony freezes his sperm in freezer and his freezer conked out!
Wiesbaden, Germany: A rather eccentric, scientific experiment, ended in disaster as German Nutter, Friedrich von Schmitz (real name, Freddy Schmitz, common as muck), decided to freeze his sperm in his own freezer so he could be reincarnated after he…
Read full storyMan curating his pencil shavings collection
Brian Asshat, Chutney on the Fritz's most colourful character will spend today curating his pencil shavings, after sneezing on them last night. 'Yes, it is a complete nightmare' wrote Brian on his blog 'I sneezed, and my carefully curated collecti…
Read full storyMan living his life like it is a choose your own adventure book, again
Derek Smallwood is living his life as if it is a choose your own adventure book, even though the last time he tried it it was a disaster. Derek revealed the story in his recently Amazon Kindle Published best-seller, CYOA - Just Do it, wherewith e…
Read full storySitcom Writer loses place on the moral high ground
After posting something on Twitter, a man vaguely famous for writing a sitcom that is little remembered realises that he no longer has the moral high ground. Speaking to us over zoom he said 'Yes, I know my show was cancelled, because the BBC was…
Read full storyRussia Has a Sure-Fire Plan To Discourage Homosexuality
MOSCOW – (Satire News) – The Kremlin has announced that they will no longer tolerate the comingling between same-sexers. Stavros Nickavich, spokesperson for the Kremlin, has made it clear that Moscow is not San Francisco, and anyone who wants to k…
Read full storyMarjorie Taylor Greene is Definitely The Most Horrible, Coyote-Ugly-Looking Space Cadet in The Entire USA
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Tabloid Today is reporting that in the history of the U.S. Congress, there has never been a meaner, more Naziesque, more hate-filled bitch or bastard than Marjorie Taylor Greene. TT’s Papaya Bamboo pointed out se…
Read full storyWoman with dreadful taste in music has bought two new albums from the top ten
Mavis Davidson has always known that she has a bad taste in music, but for the first time in her life, she has actually bought two albums that are high in the music charts. 'Yes' said a clearly delighted Mavis 'I have the new albums by Steps and A…
Read full storyA Fighting Bull In The Mexicali Bullring Jumps Into The Stands and Attacks Dozens of Spectators, Including a Taco Vendor, a Beer Vendor, and a PETA Representative
MEXICALI, Mexico – (Sports Satire) – Mexico’s Las Maracas News Agency has commented that during the last fight of the afternoon, the featured bull, named El Bravisimo Numero Ocho, suddenly lost his footing and ended up in the first row of the Salma H…
Read full storyTexas Is Sending 900 Bulldozers To Fight The Out-of-Control California Wild Fires
AUSTIN – (Satire News) – The Texas Senate has announced that they have agreed to send 900 fire-fighting bulldozers to help fight the dozens of fast-moving wild fires in the Left Coast state. Senator Harmon K. Finstermund, a Democrat from Nacogdoch…
Read full storyThe California Wildfires Are So Damn Hot That Fisherman Are Catching Fish That Are Already Cooked
MARILYN MONROE, California – (Satire News) – The hundreds of California wildfires continue to burn out of control. Ipso Facto News reports that meteorologists have verified that some of the fires including the Tinsel Town fire and the Avocado Vall…
Read full storyTexas Is Crushing Voting Rights
First, it was women’s health rights, as in Roe v Wade, limiting women to receive a legal termination within the first 5 weeks of pregnancy. That was a Texas decision by men (Guess what?) who have never been or will ever be pregnant. Why did men e…
Read full storyToyota Using Ass-Kicking Taliban in New Ads
Tokyo, Japan - The Toyota Motor Corporation unleashed a new commercial today, marketed towards Authoritarian regimes and Dictators around the globe. The commercial plays heavily on the recent success of the Taliban in Afghanistan. A victory that c…
Read full storyCalifornia’s Dixie Land Fire Is So Huge It Can Be Seen From Saturn
AVOCADO HEIGHTS, California – (Satire News) – Planetary scientists now say that the Dixie Land Fire is so gigantic that it can be seen from as far off as Saturn (a distance of over 742 million miles, as the crow flies). The “Fire From Hell” as the…
Read full storyTexas Governor Abbott Is The Wizard Of Pregnancy
What if a 12-year-old girl, who hasn't started her menstrual cycle, is raped by a relative or neighbor? How could she know if she were pregnant before 5 weeks, Governor Abbott? What if there isn't a doctor in the area or a Planned Parenthood? Supp…
Read full storyCalifornia’s New Tourism Slogan: Please Ignore The Wildfire Smoke – and Enjoy The Avocado Toast
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – The state of California, which has suffered from earthquakes, mudslides, wildfires, bumper-to-bumper traffic, smog, tsunamis, and Trump’s ass-kissing little fairy Scott Baio, has just spent $19.3 million on a new advertisi…
Read full storyGermany’s First All-Nude Female Soccer Team Wins It’s Season Opener
FRANKFURT, Germany – (Sports Satire) – The Alpha Beta News Agency is reporting that the world’s first all-nude women’s soccer team handily won their very first game. The unique soccer team known as The Frankfurt Frauleins easily defeated the all-m…
Read full storyPinocchio The Puppet
The best version: Long ago, an old satanist named Geppetto was caught shoplifting in his village. He was sent to a dungeon where he was tortured without mercy. His hands and head were put in a Pillory and afterwards fire ants were placed on them w…
Read full storyA 27-Year-Old Woman Bowler in Baltimore Bowls a Perfect 300 Game Using a Baseball
BALTIMORE – (Sports Satire) – A 27-year-old female bowler in Baltimore has just bowled what is perhaps the most amazing bowling game in the history of the 10-pin sport. Sportsapalooza reporter Pia Confetti, reported that Lila P. Festivus, who is a…
Read full storyShot Of Botox Versus Shot Of Covid Vaccine?
Why do some anti-vax people use Botox to eliminate lines and wrinkles but reject the Covid-19 vaccine that can save their life? Botox is made from a toxin. "Set it up, Joe. Let me have a shot between the eyes and get rid of my 11's.
Read full storyCaitlyn Jenner Announces She’s Engaged To a Member of Donald Trump’s Base
RANCHO SANCHO, California – (Satire News) – Ipso Facto News reports that trangender/transsexual Caitlyn Jenner is thrilled to announce that (s)he has become engaged. The former Bruce Jenner, told IFN’s Redwood Fingerboo, that her fiancé is Harvey…
Read full storyIt's Switzerland's Turn To Invade Afghanistan
Switzerland is about to invade Afghanistan. The reasoning is Afghanistan must be invaded by someone, and Switzerland felt they had to get into the action before Canada or Finland. And besides, what else does Switzerland have to do all day besides…
Read full storyRepublicans Lose Minds Over Biden Vaccine Mandate
“Stop medical tyranny.” - Real medical tyranny advised people to drink Clorox and Lysol, but Republicans never said peep over that. So who needs a vaccine anyway? Well, who goes into a battle without a rifle? The Covid pandemic is a battle. A…
Read full storyOprah Winfrey Interviews The Extremely Hateful Marjorie Taylor Greene
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – It is no secret that Marjorie Taylor Greene has become the most hated, despised, piece-of-shit politician in the entire United States, and there are lots of them! The National Whispers News Agency has just named Mar…
Read full story"Is that it then?" Asks sad swingball
After spending the summer in the garden, slightly rusty swingball set Leonardo Flumpski is feeling slightly sad. 'Yes. there I was' said Flumpski 'standing in the garden, waiting for someone to play with me, I mean people don't even need a partner…
Read full storyA Volcano Is Discovered In Lake Michigan
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – US meteorologists from Maine to Oregon are puzzled-as-hell at the discovery of a volcano that has suddenly formed overnight in Lake Michigan. The Alpha Beta News Agency was the first news outlet to report on the volcano,…
Read full storyThe Aberdeen Sea Wolves Defeat The Killarney Archers In The Scottish-Irish Football League’s Opener
ABERDEEN, Scotland – (Sports Satire) – The reigning champions of the Scottish-Irish Football League, the Aberdeen Sea Wolves, easily defeated their long time rivals the Killarney Archers 6-2. The game was held at the newly remodeled Mrs. Sean Conn…
Read full storyTexas And Taliban Women’s Rights
While the roaming Taliban men use their whips on women who are not fully covered, Texas is forcing women who are victims of rape or incest to give birth to unwanted pregnancies. While the Texas legislators have not okayed stoning women for pre-ma…
Read full storyElon Musk Will Lead a Group of Volunteers To Colonize The Moon Very Soon
AUSTIN – (Satire News) – One of the world’s foremost space explorers recently told Alpha Beta News Agency’s Mimosa Sabrosa of his next space exploratory goal. As of September, 2021, Musk is the second richest man in the world, right behind Amazon’…
Read full storyElon Musk's Space X’s "Imagination-4" Returns Triumphantly After a Successful 3-Day Orbit
CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida – (Satire News) - A team of 4 unprofessional astronauts who lifted off on board the Falcon-9 rocket "Imagination-4," from the President Joseph “Joey” Biden Launch Complex 39-IUD at the Kennedy Space Center for a 3-day explorat…
Read full storyThe Hezbollah Terrorist Group Officially Changes Its Name To The Nicer Sounding Hezzy
GECKO GULCH, Lebanon – (Satire World) – The Terrorist organization known as Hezbollah, has decided to take the advice of a Portuguese consulting firm and change their name. Bipoli Yayamana, a spokesperson for the Lebanon-based group, said that the…
Read full storyHouse in Midsummer sold suprisingly quickly
A house in Midsummer Norton, one of the country's biggest crime hot spots has sold surprisingly quickly. The house, the scene of the death of one lead character, and in two separate cases secondary deaths after the third add-break was snapped up at a…
Read full storyGreg Abbott Says He’s Now Getting Over 90,000 Hate Messages, Instagrams, and Letters a Week!
RACIST RIVER, Louisiana – (Satire News) – The governor of Texas was in the little town of Racist River, Louisiana, where he was speaking before a gathering of the white, racist, extremist group known as The Proud Boys. The rally took place in a Wa…
Read full storyThe Internet Has Just Shut Down The Terrorist Website www.terroristmothereffers.sic
MANHATTAN, New York – (Satire News) – Acting on a tip from information guru Andy Cohen, the Internet has taken steps to shut down a website that is run by members of four of the world’s most notorious terrorist groups. The four groups include the…
Read full storyMarjorie Taylor Greene Demands That People Stop Calling Her “That Senatorial Cunt”
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News is reporting that Marjorie Taylor Greene, is one of the all-time most hated Washington D.C. politicians in history. BBN's Chipper Caruso added that as far as being a pathological shithead, the butt…
Read full storyThe Highest Ranking General in The Chinese Army Has Admitted That She’s a Lesbian
HONG KONG – (World Satire) – Word coming out of the Chinese capital is reverberating all over the world. The Chinese government has just learned that China’s top ranking military leader, General Sue Ming Ding, 53, has just come out of the closet a…
Read full storyThe New Taliban Regime Warns That Anyone Using The Derogatory Term "Camel Toe" Will Be Arrested and Exiled To Siberia or Minnesota.
KABUL, Afghanistan – (World Satire) – Afghanistan’s Taliban Government says that they will not put up with it’s citizens verbally, emotionally, physically, and sexually attacking women. Taliban leader General Abdali Tibia Nim-Nim, informed The San…
Read full storyThe List of The Top 12 Donald Trump Nicknames
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – The Chicago Daily Wind newspaper, along with stand-up comedian Zydeco Dupree, have just compiled a list of nicknames that DJT has acquired over the last 4 or 5 years. The list originally had over 90 nicknames, but with t…
Read full storyIkea UK reports empty shelves and Brits are now sleeping on ancient, sagging, yellow stained, Made in UK mattresses!
Post Brexit consequences are being swept under the carpet (not made in the EU, Made in Iran) as UK mega-large retailers are beginning to complain that their shelves are becoming emptier and emptier! Brit supermarket shoppers are hoarding olive oil…
Read full storyTo Combat Methane, Biden Giving Every Home A Labrador Retriever
Washington, D.C.—Climate scientists all agree that food waste is a massive contributor to methane, which goddamnit, also causes global warming. Just in time for Glasgow's big COP26 Climate Meeting, Biden has a plan to make it all go away. And ye…
Read full storyBarron Trump is Allegedly Dating a Black Girl
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – A close friend of Donald Trump says that the racist-monger is fit-to-be-tied. The friend, who would only reveal the last digit of his social security number; 6, said that just as iRumors has reported, 15-year-old…
Read full storyA Female Taliban Soldier Admits She Has 2 Vaginas
CAMEL SHIT, Afghanistan – (World Satire) – Afghanistan's Sandstone News Agency is reporting that a female member of the Taliban’s famed 82nd Division has revealed that she has two pussies (pun intended). Banbula Sin Gee, who is a jeep driver, fir…
Read full story‘A Sign of the Times’ Foo Fighters to Formally Change Their Name
SEATTLE, Washington, September 21st, 2021 - - After 1 hour and 38 minutes of deliberation, 12 time Grammy Award winning music legends, Foo Fighters, announced this morning that effective immediately the band will be known as Non-Aerosol Air Freshener…
Read full storyA Philadelphia Pole Dancer is The Nation's First Female To Receive An Artificial Vagina, An Artificial Hymen, and Artificial Sex Hormones
PHILADELPHIA – (Satire News) – Ipso Facto News is reporting that a woman in the City of Brotherly Love has just become the country’s very first woman to have what is being touted as intimate tri-surgery. Venus Guffanski, who dances under the stage…
Read full storyA Female College Wrestler Wrestles and Defeats 4 Male Wrestlers in a Wrestling Meet
INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana – (Satire News) – Sportsapalooza News reports that a female wrestler from Johnny Appleseed University in Indianapolis wrestled and beat four male wrestlers in record time. Officials with the National Collegiate Wrestling Fede…
Read full storyThe Kremlin is Reporting That Putin Has Blocked Trump
MOSCOW – (Satire News) – Word coming out of the Kremlin states that Russian President Vladimir Putin has just gone into his Facebook account and blocked the one-term, twice-impeached, former resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Donald Trump. Repo…
Read full storyThe LPGA Finally Agrees To Allow It’s Female Golfers To Wear Bikini Swimsuits
ATLANTA – (Sports Satire) – The Sports Bet Gazette is reporting that the LPGA powers-that-be have finally gotten with the program and they are going to implement a clothing policy that media experts say will increase TV viewership by at least 700%.
Read full storyAfter Losing in The First Round and Embarrassing Himself Before The Entire World, Evander Holyfield Says That Next He Will Fight Barron Trump
HOLLYWOOD, Florida – (Sports Satire) – There is an old expression that says that one stayed a little bit too long at the fuckin’ rodeo. And that is exactly what 59-year-old Evander Jemima Holyfield did. The dummy got greedy and he got his greedy o…
Read full storyCalifornia Firefighters In An Act of Desperation Are Pouring Strawberry Kool-Aid On The Wildfires
VACAVILLE, California – (Satire News) – Reports being put out by The Alpha Beta News Agency, are that thousands of California firefighters are running out of ideas as to how to fight the damn wildfires that are continuing to relentlessly burn out-of-…
Read full storyMcDonalds Introduces McEscargots
CICERO, Illinois – (Business Satire) – The McDonalds Corporation is always on the look-out for new and interesting food items to feature in their “Mc” meal menu. The Daily Max has just learned that their latest foray into the new item competition…
Read full storyResearchers Are Conducting Research Studies to Study Research Studies
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The Daily Max reports that an ongoing research study is researching research studies. Daily Max reporter Savannah Stiletto, spoke with one of the nation’s foremost research studiers, Wanda Jane McBudapest, 37, and l…
Read full storyPresident Biden Files a Huge Lawsuit Against Donald Trump on Behalf of All of The American Taxpayers
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The United States Attorney General Merrick Garland, has just informed the news media that the US government has filed an $87.3 million lawsuit against Donald Jonathan Trump, the most evil, hateful, racist individual…
Read full storyPresident Biden Warns Egypt That If They Attack Israel, The US Will Bomb and Destroy Every Damn Pyramid Within Their Border
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Tittle Tattle Tonight is reporting that tensions in the Middle East are getting hotter than a prostitute with Icy Hot on her nether region. Word filtering out of Sand Land, is that Egypt is getting ready to launc…
Read full storyCalifornia Wildfire Insurance Now Runs An Average of $7,000 a Month!
LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) – LaLaLand Daily reports that due to the thousands of damn wildfires that have hit California, the cost of wildfire insurance has gone up by as much as 817%. Leilani Oahu-Roofy, 43, who is an insurance agent with the Pr…
Read full storyThe New Taliban Government of Afghanistan Has Just Mandated That All Women With a Tattoo Will Be Imprisoned
KABUL, Afghanistan – (Satire News) – The new president of Afghanistan Abu Taboo Fashu, has just ruled that every adult women over the age of 21, who has a tattoo, even if it’s a little bitty tat of a gnat, will be arrested and thrown in jail. Pres…
Read full storyA Women’s College Softball Coach is Accused of Getting to Third Base With Her Second Baseman
PAWTUCKET, Rhode Island – (Sports Satire) – The NCAA is investigating a softball coach who is alleged to have carried on an affair with the team’s star player. Coach Nancy Frillmeister, 37, who has been the girl’s softball coach at Paul Revere Uni…
Read full storyKimberly Guilfoyle Has Become Known as The Puerto Rican Linda Lovelace, The Infamous Porn Actress, Who Starred in The X-Rated Hard-Core Film "Deep Throat"
CHATTANOOGA, Tennessee – (Satire News) – Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle, reports that Donald Trump Jr’s., girlfriend, Kimberly Guilfoyle, traveled to Tennessee to visit an ex-boyfriend, who owes her $13,805. While there she spoke at a ral…
Read full storyPutin Claims That He Has Over a Dozen Video Tapes of Trump Cavorting With Moscow Whores
MOSCOW – (Satire Gossip) – Reports coming out of the Kremlin, state that Russian President Vladimir Putin, who has now turned on DJT, is alleging that he has 14 tapes of his “American Puppet,” in various states of sexuitis delictiosus (i.e. screwing)…
Read full storyThe WNBA Agrees To Allow Their Players To Replace Their Drab Regulation Basketball Shorts With Sexy Daisy Duke Short Shorts
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – In a move that sports writers and fans throughout the country are hailing as a ‘hallelujah moment,’ WNBA executives have decided to allow every team to change over from regulation basketball shorts to Daisy Duke shor…
Read full storyNorth Korean Leader Kim Jong-un Says He Has Just Cornered The Asian Womens Shoe Market
PYONGYANG, North Korea – (World Satire) – North Korea’s Rice Paddy News Agency reports that the Korean leader, Kim Jong-un hasn’t been as happy as he is now, since he first discovered his pecker (penis) at the age of 3. Kim Jong-un, who is almost…
Read full storyTijuana, Mexico Announces It’s New “No Shot – No Check” Delta Dawn Pandemic Policy
TIJUANA, Mexico – (Satire News) – When it comes to staying ahead of the pack, the border down of Tijuana, is mucho way ahead of the rest. The city of 2 million inhabitants has just issued a proclamation that anyone working in Tijuana, who does not…
Read full storyIvanka Trump Insists That Her Daddy “Old Shit Face” Get Botox Because He Is Starting To Look Like That Ugly, Evil, Hate-Filled Bitch, Marjorie Taylor Greene
MANHATTAN – (Satire News) – Traci Diddle with National Rumblings said that she spoke with the former first daughter and she is positively nervous, worried, and scared-as-shit. Sweet Lips, as DJT calls his favorite child, said that just within the…
Read full storyWhite Cabbage Causes Volcanic Eruption in German Man's Belly
After observing a volcanic eruption on La Palma causing havoc on this wonderful island, a German housewife decided to have white cabbage for dinner, preceded by a boiling hot plate of leek soup! Her husband Fritz Schmitz, who possesses quite a vol…
Read full storyFrance Fires A Ratatouille Warning Shot
France is upset or tres ticked. They’ve recalled their ambassadors to the US and Australia. Humph! Take that! The Camembert is flying all over the place, landing as far away as the US and Australia. France even sent a 5.9 magnitude tremor to Austr…
Read full storyEngland Tells Donald Trump Not To Even Think About Visiting
LONDON – (Satire News) – The Bee’s Knees News Agency has just informed the twice-impeached loser, aka Donald Jonathan Trump, to forget about flying to Britain to play in Upper Tooting’s prestigious Sir Paul McCartney Golf Tournament. BKNA reporter…
Read full storyA Man Wins Taco Bell's Jalapeno-Eating Contest But Ends Up At a 24-Hour Emergency Clinic
EL PASO, Texas – (Satire News) – Alpha Beta’s Mimosa Sabrosa covered the 32nd Annual Taco Bell Jalapeno-Eating Contest, which was held at El Paso's Giggling Guacamole Restaurant. The yearly event draws participants from as far away as Delaware, De…
Read full storyDonald Trump Hits Back At Putin Saying That He Has a Napoleon Complex Since He’s Only 5-foot-2-Inches Tall
MAR-a-LAGO – (Satire News) – Insiders at Mar-a-Lago say that the Trumpster is still extremely upset at the fact that Russian President Putin referred to him as being nothing more than a submissive pussy. Trump, who has the personality of a sanitar…
Read full storyHooters Rehires a Waitress Who Was Fired Because She Had No Hooters
SAN FRANCISCO – (Satire News) – The Wild Whispers News Agency is reporting that the Hooter’s Corporation has agreed to rehire a 24-year-old woman who was fired simply because she’s as flat-chested as Marjorie Taylor Greene. WWNA reporter Margarita…
Read full storyLike Garbo, Trump Speaks Now And Then
Like silent film actress Greta Garbo, Donald Trump speaks now and then. Of course, many would prefer he spoke neither now or then. But he thinks he has something to say. Unfortunately, Trump's most recent something to say praised Confederate General…
Read full storyJack-in-the-Box Denies That They’re Buying Their Curly Fries From Taliban-Controlled Afghanistan
CORN COB, Iowa – (Satire News) – Word coming out of the Iowa evangelical rumor mills is that the Jack-in-the-Box restaurant chain is purchasing their curly fries from a food outlet in Afghanistan. BuzzFuzz reporter Taffeta Kixx learned that the Ta…
Read full storySentences That Can Be Interpreted In Two Completely Opposite Ways
Sometime a sentence can mean exactly the opposite of what the speaker or writer intended. That's due in part to conflicting meanings that many words have or the way the sentence is phrased. Here are some prime examples: On the last day of the se…
Read full storyPresident Biden Personally Fires 3 Border Patrol Agents on Horseback Who Herded Haitians Like Cattle
DEL RIO, Texas – (Satire News) – Scandal Today’s Cheyenne Patio witnessed with her very own eyes cruelty against immigrants that is reminiscent of the terroristic reign of Donald John “The Con” Trump. While close to 21,000 Haitians huddled underne…
Read full storyUS Treasury announces unavoidable bankruptcy of Federal Government
Unable to print enough money to fund spending, DC to go bankrupt this coming Tuesday night at midnight. Establishment Washington OUTRAGED to discover being liberal doesn't mean you never have to pay your bills. Biden blames Trump. "If former pr…
Read full storyLeaves planning to fall, sometime soon
It has been revealed, to no one's great shock or surprise, that leaves are planning to start falling, sometime soon. 'Yes' said leaf Mavis Davis 'we are planning to start falling in a couple of weeks, and some of us will still be in the trees in l…
Read full storyBeyonce and Jay-Z’s Race Horse, “Queen Bee Be-Gone” Wins The Walla Walla Invitational Derby
WALLA WALLA, Washington – (Sports Satire) – The Daily Max News Agency has just announced that a thoroughbred race horse belonging to soul music artist Beyonce and her hip hop singer husband Jay-Z has just won the coveted Walla Walla Invitational Derb…
Read full storyThe Memory of Melania Trump Emerges Once Again
Remember when babies and children were ripped from their mother’s arms at the Mexican border and put into cages? Mrs. Trump took a trip to the Mexican border wearing a green jacket. Printed on the back of the jacket in sloppy white letters was: I don…
Read full storyThe Real Reasons Why The New England Patriots Released QB Cam Newton
GILLETTE, Massachusetts – (Sports Satire) – Many sports pundits had predicted that NFL quarterback, Cam Newton was bound to get cut by the Patriots. The rumors around the locker room were that the Pats powers-that-be and Coach Bilichick, were just…
Read full storyTrump: "I Thought Climate Change Was a Hoax Because Liberals from Chy-Na Put Magic Mushrooms in My Soup"
Mar-A-Lago, Florida - Former President Donald Trump, who once declared global warming a Chinese Hoax, has apparently changed his mind according to a recent speech at a gathering of corporate fundraisers near his cult compound in Florida. One well…
Read full storyIvanka Trump Has Hit Her “Change of Life” And She Is Positively Devastated, Depressed, and Bitter-As-Hell
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Taboid Today has just confirmed that Donald Trump’s favorite child has officially entered into the menopausal state. Double T reporter Papaya Bamboo, first broke the story after talking to Ivanka's step-mommy Melani…
Read full storyBuckingham Palace To Be Repainted and Remodeled at a Cost of £7.3 Million ($10 Million – US)
LONDON – (Satire News) – The United Kingdom’s Tickety Boo News Agency is reporting that the British Parliament has approved a plan to remodel Buckingham Palace, which is 192 years old. TBNA reporter Neville Twickenbuck, told Piers Morgan, who is c…
Read full storyDonald Trump Has Just Been Named, The 2021 Man of The Year, By The White Extremist Group, The Proud Boys
DUCK DUNG, Alabama – (Satire News) – Scandal Today is reporting that Donald Jonathan Trump, AKA “Rhino Butt,” has just received the ‘honor’ of being named The 2021 Man of The Year, by his beloved January 6, insurrectionists, the Proud Boys. The me…
Read full storyLaos Accidentally Bombs and Invades Cambodia
PYONGYANG, North Korea – (World Satire) – North Korea’s national news agency, the Rice Paddy News, is reporting that the government of Laos has bombed and invaded the neighboring country of Cambodia by mistake. A reporter with RPN stated that the…
Read full storySlippery Rock University Kicker Kicks an NCAA Record-Setting 91-Yard Field Goal To Win The Game
CLEVELAND, Ohio – (Sports Satire) – Slippery Rock defeated Southern North Dakota in their neutral rivalry game, which is played every year in Cleveland’s Grover Cleveland Coliseum. Sports Bet Gazette reporter Zorro La Bamba stated that the Pennsyl…
Read full storyAn NCAA Football Mascot is Arrested For Being a Pervert
BURNT CORN, Alabama – (Sports Satire) – Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine has just confirmed that the sports mascot for Johnny Reb College has been arrested. SBIM's Dottie Bazooka, stated that Clydell Bruce “Bubba” Fipp, 25, was arrested at his Pr…
Read full storyFrance Announces Jump Up and Down in Anger Day to protest at Australia, USA, UK, rest of the world
The French government has announced, as part of its continuing protests at the decision of Australia, USA and UK to set up a Pacific military alliance and not buy any ships or submarines from France, that the people of France will jump up and down in…
Read full storyCristiano Ronaldo retires from publicity
Cristiano Ronaldo has announced his retirement from self-publicity after breaking the international goal-scoring record. The 36-year-old Portugal and Manchester United star said he would take a step back from being in the limelight for 23 hours an…
Read full storyPresident Joe Biden, Commander-In-Sheep
BILLINGSGATE POST: Chances are, if you see Joe Biden wear a sheepish grin, there must be a story behind it. Well, there just might be. Much has been written about why men turn to sheep for affection while undergoing stress. In fact, Geoffrey Chauc…
Read full storyTrump Takes Credit for California Recall Result
The inept, and not particularly popular, Governor Gavin Newsom of California easily won a Tuesday recall election. Not surprisingly, there are differing interpretations of the results. Newsom sees his victory as an overwhelming mandate for his…
Read full storyRick Astley and The Blossoms will perform the songs of Kajagoogoo
Following on from teaming up to sing the songs of the Smiths, and selling out all of the gigs in 8 minutes, Rick Astley and Stockport band The Blossoms have announced that their next record will be the complete works of Kajagoogoo. Starting with t…
Read full storyScotland Yard Foils A Taliban Plot To Kidnap British Hate-Monger Piers Morgan
LONDON – (Satire News) – Buckingham Palace is reporting that a plan by the Taliban to kidnap Piers Morgan has been stopped by England’s crack Scotland Yard. Tickety Boo News reporter Neville Twickenbuck, spoke with Queen Elizabeth, who was so shoo…
Read full storyNew Crime series to be about Devil Worshipper
In a world of crime fiction, where some of it is solved by Clergymen, such as Father Brown, Grantchester, and the one that will feature Ross Kemp as a hard as nails Lay-Preacher in Cockney Wonder, Devil Won't Care is set to turn the world of cosy cri…
Read full storyThe New Taliban Regime Plans on Invading Pakistan
KABUL, Afghanistan – (World Satire) – The CIA has just intercepted a message that the new Taliban regime has decided to invade neighboring Pakistan. The message was sent by Taliban General Abdali Tibia Nim-Nim to Taliban spokesperson Sabeen Siri Y…
Read full story"Kissing His Big Fat Butt” - Nancy Pelosi
Nancy Pelosi wasn’t talking about Santa Claus when she accused White House staffers of, “Kissing his big fat butt.” Oh no! She was addressing the big fat butt of Donald Trump. She went on to say, in Bob Woodward’s new book, Peril, “You know he’s…
Read full storyTrump To Have Surgery To Remove His Female Ovaries
LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) – Melania has just let the cat (or rather the ovaries) out of the bag. She let it slip to her BFF LeBron James, that her husband, the United States income tax evader, recently learned that he has two female ovaries next…
Read full storyRichard Branson’s Virgin Galactic Spaceflight Company Wants To Buy Delta Airlines
SPACE VALLEY, California – (Satire News) – Billionaire Richard Branson is always looking around to buy companies to incorporate into his massive business empire. The Alpha Beta News Agency has revealed that Brando, as Melania Trump calls him, is l…
Read full storyVatican to launch new “Space Programme”
The Vatican in Rome have just announced details of a new Space Programme, intended to take the highest ranking clergy into space in reusable vehicles. It will be funded using the Vatican’s vast gold reserves although it is understood that no rock…
Read full storyTexas Governor Greg “Eggplant Face” Abbott Given a Ticket For Speeding (While in His Wheel Chair)
AUSTIN – (Satire News) – The Alpha Beta News Agency is reporting that Governor Greg Abbott has been issued a speeding ticket for going 17 miles over the allowed speed while sitting in his expensive wheel chair. ABNA reporter Mimosa Sabrosa, stated…
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