Slippery Rock University Kicker Kicks an NCAA Record-Setting 91-Yard Field Goal To Win The Game

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 28 September 2021

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Sports Bet Gazette reporter Zorro La Bamba has covered the Slippery Rock vs. Southern North Dakota rivalry since 1990.

CLEVELAND, Ohio – (Sports Satire) – Slippery Rock defeated Southern North Dakota in their neutral rivalry game, which is played every year in Cleveland’s Grover Cleveland Coliseum.

Sports Bet Gazette reporter Zorro La Bamba stated that the Pennsylvania-North Dakota rivalry goes back to 1944, when Slippery Peeble, as Slippery Rock was known back then, defeated Southern North Dakota, in an extremely high-scoring game 67 to 59.

This year’s game featured a fantastic soccer-style kicker from Bolivia, Antonio Anastacio Alvarez-Googenwax, who is regarded as the best soccer-style football kicker in the entire world, even better than the NFL’s legendary George Blanda, Adam Vinatieri, and Justin Tucker.

In this year’s game, the score was tied at 42, with Slippery Rock in possession of the ball on their own 9-yard-line with 3 seconds left.

The pigskin was snapped and Alvarez-Googenwax drilled it splitting the uprights right down the middle.

La Bamba says that he swears the football traveled in slow-motion, as it seemed to float in the air for about 45 seconds before getting through the goalposts.

SIDENOTE: The amazing Bolivian kicker is just a freshman, but he has already been approached by the Dallas Cowboys, the New England Patriots, the Cleveland Browns, and the Green Bay Packers.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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