An NCAA Football Mascot is Arrested For Being a Pervert

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 6 September 2021


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Katy says she has nightmares of Clydell's big old stinky hand caressing her sweet little titty.

BURNT CORN, Alabama – (Sports Satire) – Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine has just confirmed that the sports mascot for Johnny Reb College has been arrested.

SBIM's Dottie Bazooka, stated that Clydell Bruce “Bubba” Fipp, 25, was arrested at his Proud Sons of Dixie Trailer Park trailer by 6 members of the Burnt Corn Swat Team.

Bubba, who was dressed in a tattered blue gingham Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer shirt, camouflage flip-flops, and fire engine red MAGA boxer shorts, denies the charges that he molested two Johnny Reb College cheerleaders, as well as a band clarinet player, and a hot dog vendor.

Fipp, who recently had his 2019 peeping Tom charges dropped, said that he is allergic to hot dogs, as they cause his gonads (balls) to itch and turn a weird-looking orangey color, sorta like Trump's face, he added.

Burnt Corn detectives interviewed one of the two cheerleaders identified as Katy Sue Tickley, who stated that Bubba grabbed her left knocker (tit) as she was bent over doing a cheerleading routine, just before the end of the third quarter.

Miss Bazooka noted that the second cheerleader, the clarinet player, and the hot dog vendor have decided not to file charges against Fipp for fear of reprisal from the loose cannon sumbitch.

Katy Sue, however, has said that she has filed charges and she hopes that Clydell Bruce gets sentenced to the electric chair.

Fipp is presently sitting in the Burnt Corn jail with a bond of $800.

SIDENOTE: The Johnny Reb Polecats defeated the Bayou State Gator Baiters 47 to 7.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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